Gay men’s fears of long-term romance < Yale School of Medice

Contents:

• INTIMACY AND EMOTN WORK LBIAN, GAY, AND HETEROSEXUAL RELATNSHIPS
• INTIMACY AND SEXUALY GAY MALE UPL
• EMOTNALLY GAY
• GAY MEN’S FEARS OF LONG-TERM ROMANCE
• GAY RELATNSHIP BREAKUP CAN BE PROBLEMATIC. HERE’S HOW TO AVOID THE RISKS
• GAY COUPL CAN TEACH STRAIGHT PEOPLE A THG OR TWO ABOUT ARGUG
• HOW DO EMOTNAL DEPENNCE AFFECT GAY MEN?

INTIMACY AND EMOTN WORK LBIAN, GAY, AND HETEROSEXUAL RELATNSHIPS

Sce 1975, APA has lled on psychologists to take the lead removg the stigma of mental illns that has long been associated wh lbian, gay, and bisexual orientatns. The prejudice and discrimatn that people who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual regularly experience have been shown to have negative psychologil effects. This page provis accurate rmatn for those who want to better unrstand sexual orientatn and the impact of prejudice and discrimatn on those who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual.

INTIMACY AND SEXUALY GAY MALE UPL

In the Uned Stat the most equent labels are lbians (women attracted to women), gay men (men attracted to men), and bisexual people (men or women attracted to both sex).

Prejudice and discrimatn make difficult for many people to e to terms wh their sexual orientatn inti, so claimg a lbian, gay, or bisexual inty may be a slow procs. Public opn studi over the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s routely showed that, among large segments of the public, lbian, gay, and bisexual people were the target of strongly held negative attus.

EMOTNALLY GAY

More recently, public opn has creasgly opposed sexual orientatn discrimatn, but exprsns of hostily toward lbians and gay men rema mon ntemporary Amerin society. The associatn of HIV/AIDS wh gay and bisexual men and the accurate belief that some people held that all gay and bisexual men were fected served to further stigmatize lbian, gay, and bisexual people. The stereotyp persist even though they are not supported by evince, and they are often ed to exce unequal treatment of lbian, gay, and bisexual people.

For example, limatns on job opportuni, parentg, and relatnship regnn are often jtified by stereotypic assumptns about lbian, gay, and bisexual people. On an dividual level, such prejudice and discrimatn may also have negative nsequenc, pecially if lbian, gay, and bisexual people attempt to nceal or ny their sexual orientatn. Although many lbians and gay men learn to pe wh the social stigma agast homosexualy, this pattern of prejudice n have ser negative effects on health and well-beg.

GAY MEN’S FEARS OF LONG-TERM ROMANCE

Although social support is ccial pg wh strs, antigay attus and discrimatn may make difficult for lbian, gay, and bisexual people to fd such support.

Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience. Helpful rpons of a therapist treatg an dividual who is troubled about her or his same sex attractns clu helpg that person actively pe wh social prejudic agast homosexualy, succsfully rolve issu associated wh and rultg om ternal nflicts, and actively lead a happy and satisfyg life.

The phrase “g out” is ed to refer to several aspects of lbian, gay, and bisexual persons’ experienc: self-awarens of same-sex attractns; the tellg of one or a few people about the attractns; wispread disclosure of same-sex attractns; and intifitn wh the lbian, gay, and bisexual muny. Th, is not surprisg that lbians and gay men who feel they mt nceal their sexual orientatn report more equent mental health ncerns than do lbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physil health problems.

GAY RELATNSHIP BREAKUP CAN BE PROBLEMATIC. HERE’S HOW TO AVOID THE RISKS

Some adolcents sire and engage same-sex behavr but do not intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual, sometim bee of the stigma associated wh a nonheterosexual orientatn. Lbian, gay, and bisexual youth who do well spe strs—like all adolcents who do well spe strs—tend to be those who are socially petent, who have good problem-solvg skills, who have a sense of tonomy and purpose, and who look forward to the future. In a related ve, some young people are prumed to be lbian, gay, or bisexual bee they don’t abi by tradnal genr rol (i.e., the cultural beliefs about what is appropriate “mascule” and “feme” appearance and behavr).

Whether the youths intify as heterosexual or as lbian, gay, or bisexual, they enunter prejudice and discrimatn based on the prumptn that they are lbian, gay, or bisexual. If they are a heterosexual relatnship, their experienc may be que siar to those of people who intify as heterosexual unls they choose to e out as bisexual; that se, they will likely face some of the same prejudice and discrimatn that lbian and gay dividuals enunter. Although parable data are not available, many sgle lbians and gay men are also parents, and many same-sex upl are part-time parents to children whose primary rince is elsewhere.

GAY COUPL CAN TEACH STRAIGHT PEOPLE A THG OR TWO ABOUT ARGUG

The majory of rearch on this topic asks whether children raised by lbian and gay parents are at a disadvantage when pared to children raised by heterosexual parents. For example, are the children of lbian or gay parents more vulnerable to mental breakdown, do they have more behavr problems, or are they ls psychologilly healthy than other children? The picture that emerg om this rearch shows that children of gay and lbian parents enjoy a social life that is typil of their age group terms of volvement wh peers, parents, fay members, and iends.

There is no scientific support for fears about children of lbian or gay parents beg sexually abed by their parents or their parents’ gay, lbian, or bisexual iends or acquatanc. In summary, social science has shown that the ncerns often raised about children of lbian and gay parents, ncerns that are generally ground prejudice agast and stereotyp about gay people, are unfound. Overall, the rearch dit that the children of lbian and gay parents do not differ markedly om the children of heterosexual parents their velopment, adjtment, or overall well-beg.

HOW DO EMOTNAL DEPENNCE AFFECT GAY MEN?

Lbian, gay, and bisexual people who want to help rce prejudice and discrimatn n be open about their sexual orientatn, even as they take necsary preutns to be as safe as possible. They n make a pot of g to know lbian, gay, and bisexual people, and they n work wh lbian, gay, and bisexual dividuals and muni to bat prejudice and discrimatn. When lbians, gay men, and bisexual people feel ee to make public their sexual orientatn, heterosexuals are given an opportuny to have personal ntact wh openly gay people and to perceive them as dividuals.

Studi of prejudice, cludg prejudice agast gay people, nsistently show that prejudice cl when members of the majory group teract wh members of a mory group. In keepg wh this general pattern, one of the most powerful fluenc on heterosexuals’ acceptance of gay people is havg personal ntact wh an openly gay person.

Antigay attus are far ls mon among members of the populatn who have a close iend or fay member who is lbian or gay, pecially if the gay person has directly e out to the heterosexual person. They merged the genr-as-relatnal perspective—that genr is -nstcted and enacted wh relatnships—wh theoretil perspectiv on emotn work and timacy to ame an analysis of -pth terviews wh 15 lbian, 15 gay, and 20 heterosexual upl. Keywords: emotn work, fairns and equaly, gay, lbian, bisexual, transgenr, timacy, qualative rearchLong-term mted relatnships, and particular the qualy of relatnships, are profoundly important to the health and well-beg of men and women (Umberson, Williams, Powers, Liu, & Needham, 2006).