My spoe me out as gay. What should I do? |

Contents:

• DIVORCED UPLE SHAR SPIRG JOURNEY AFTER HBAND OUT AS GAY
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• WHEN YOUR SPOE OUT AS GAY
• MY SPOE ME OUT AS GAY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
• FDG OUT YOUR SPOE IS GAY
• DIVORCED UPLE OPENS UP ABOUT UNEXPECTED JOURNEY AFTER HBAND OUT GAY
• THE FEMALE SPOE: A PROCS OF SEPARATN WHEN A HBAND ' OUT' AS GAY
• 'MY HBAND ME OUT GAY LIKE PHILLIP SCHOFIELD - BUT THE SIGNS WERE ALWAYS THERE'
• WE WERE MARRIED FOR 15 HE TOLD ME HE WAS GAY: WHEN PHILLIP SCHOFIELD ME OUT AS GAY LAST YEAR WAS HARD NOT TO FEEL FOR HIS WIFE. HERE ONE UPLE SCRIBE WHAT 'S REALLY LIKE WHEN THE HBAND LEAV A MARRIAGE FOR A MAN
• OUT OM THE LD: HOW MY HBAND ME OUT AS GAY AND CHANGED OUR LIV
• I HELPED MY EX-HBAND E OUT AS GAY. 20 YEARS LATER, I'M BT IENDS WH HIM AND HIS NEW HBAND.

DIVORCED UPLE SHAR SPIRG JOURNEY AFTER HBAND OUT AS GAY

Last summer, Matthew Pl Turner, a New York Tim bt-sellg Christian children’s book thor, announced he was gay and endg his 15-year marriage..

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

"I'll never fet, our dghter who was eight at the time, almost ne, sayg, 'Daddy, why did you marry Mommy if you were gay? Unls your spoe shar their sexual orientatn wh you, there is no way to know for sure if they are gay.

WHEN YOUR SPOE OUT AS GAY

You notice pop-ups of gay pornography or gay datg s on their vic. You notice a new group of iends on their social media, many of whom are openly gay.

MY SPOE ME OUT AS GAY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

You notice them talkg more about gay people nversatn, eher a posive light or rogatory manner. Among the upl, when the gay, lbian, or bisexual partner out, a third of the upl break up immediately; another third stay together for one to two years and then spl; the remag third try to make their marriag work. There's no qutn that learng your partner is gay when you believed them to be straight n be extremely difficult.

The experience of disverg your partner is gay n be overwhelmg. People do not choose who they are attracted to, so make sure to not direct homophobic backlash towards your partner.

So I was totally nial about the fact that I was gay, lerally well until our marriage and until Jsi nonted me about , " Stoddard told TODAY Parents.

FDG OUT YOUR SPOE IS GAY

That teachg was eply engraed Stoddard, and even when — six months to their marriage — Frew found a llectn of gay pornography on Stoddard's puter and asked him about his sexualy, he uldn't say the words out loud.

""And you have to remember, we were part of this relign that tght that even if you were gay, or even if you had feelgs of same-sex attractn, wasn’t somethg you need to act upon, " Stoddard add. Acrdg to the CDC, "some risk factors are lked to beg gay or bisexual a hostile environment and the effects that this has on mental health.

DIVORCED UPLE OPENS UP ABOUT UNEXPECTED JOURNEY AFTER HBAND OUT GAY

Frew is also offerg a workshop for people who have had a spoe e out as gay. And there was a perd where we wonred if a mixed-orientatn marriage worked, where even though he was gay he wanted to rema married.

THE FEMALE SPOE: A PROCS OF SEPARATN WHEN A HBAND ' OUT' AS GAY

"On the flip si of that, the panmic has given me time and space to bee way more fortable my own gay sk. I anticipated the homophobia om certa people my life — I didn't realize how much homophobia I had my own self.

But Alan knew he was gay at a young age — knowledge that ntradicted his fah’s teachgs. ”Now, Alan says his ex-wife, fay members, and children love the more thentic, hont versn of himself more than the person he was when he wasn’t out as a gay man. Many lbian, gay, bisexual or transgenr people e out years after they have been married to an oppose-sex heterosexual wife or hband.

Whether is a hband who out as gay or a wife who clar she is a lbian, the spo who love them are broadsid wh a thoand qutns. What do the Bible say that would help a spoe know what to do when his or her “other half” out as gay? Defely, some cisns mt be ma when a spoe out as gay, but before those cisns are tackled, we need to clarify some terms.

'MY HBAND ME OUT GAY LIKE PHILLIP SCHOFIELD - BUT THE SIGNS WERE ALWAYS THERE'

The word gay brgs wh implitns of homosexual enunters, but the term is often ed to refer to orientatn, rather than behavr. For Christians who fd themselv same-sex attracted, actg on those homosexual urg is not an optn. So, if a Christian hband or wife out as gay, other qutns mt be asked: is he or she actg on those urg or simply admtg the attractn?

WE WERE MARRIED FOR 15 HE TOLD ME HE WAS GAY: WHEN PHILLIP SCHOFIELD ME OUT AS GAY LAST YEAR WAS HARD NOT TO FEEL FOR HIS WIFE. HERE ONE UPLE SCRIBE WHAT 'S REALLY LIKE WHEN THE HBAND LEAV A MARRIAGE FOR A MAN

If the spoe who has e out as gay is willg to stay the marriage and rema fahful, alg wh his or her same-sex nfn through acuntabily and unselg, the marriage n be prerved. We wouldn’t leave a spoe if he or she was wrtlg wh other sful temptatns, so we shouldn’t leave him or her a stggle agast homosexualy.

A hband or wife who out as gay, like all who e to terms wh same-sex attractn, has a choice to make. Homosexual acts are never acceptable (Levic 18:22; 20:13; 1 Corthians 6:9; Ju 1:7; Romans 1:24–27). People who have mted themselv to honor the Lord wh their bodi nnot live a sexually immoral liftyle, and that clus homosexual behavrs (1 Corthians 6:18–20).

If a hband who out as gay sists on pursug his homosexual lt, his wife is eed om her vows, and vice versa. A homosexual affair is adultery, jt as a heterosexual affair is. A hband or wife need not sh to a cisn the moment his or her spoe out as gay.

OUT OM THE LD: HOW MY HBAND ME OUT AS GAY AND CHANGED OUR LIV

But if the one intifyg as gay is ready to embrace a gay liftyle, or if he or she abandons his or her role the marriage, the other spoe may have ltle choice but to ask him or her to leave. On one hand, an angry spoe may threaten to cut off all ntact between the children and the spoe who me out as gay. However, equally harmful is the spoe who pretends the gay spoe’s same-sex partners are wele their liv and acts as if nothg is wrong.

There is no “right answer” for a Christian whose spoe out as gay. Every se is different, and not every person who stggl wh homosexual sire do so the same way. However, if the spoe who out as gay mands to act on those urg, he or she is vlatg the marriage venant.

I HELPED MY EX-HBAND E OUT AS GAY. 20 YEARS LATER, I'M BT IENDS WH HIM AND HIS NEW HBAND.

But when the marriage is over bee your spoe turns out to be gay, there is a whole different layer of thoughts and emotns to ntend wh. Bonnie Kaye,, me to specialize helpg women face this unanticipated reason for the mise of their marriage after her own marriage llapsed by virtue of her hband beg gay.

Kaye reports that when a woman learns the reason for the problems her marriage-namely homosexualy, she go through a wi range of emotns om vastatn, shame, guilt, rponsibily, and perhaps even to repulsn. Acrdg to, there are over 4 ln women this untry who are married to, or have been married to gay men, and there are lns more throughout the world.

"In almost all s, " Kaye stat, "women wh gay hbands are unaware of their hbands' homosexualy at the time of the marriage. The answers to the qutns pend on if the gay or lbian spoe knew and tried to reprs the homosexual attractns, whether he or she didn't know they were gay, or if they are bisexual (attracted to both genrs) or pansexual (attracted more to a person's spir or personaly rather than a person's anatomy) so the attractn to their spoe was real was real but not limed to one person or genr. The seems to be no shortage of support out there on this subject matter and I also me across several books on the topic that may be of help to both the gay and straight spoe.