Follow a gay uple’s lead as to how to refer to one spoe. And when doubt, “partner” ually satisfi everyone.
Contents:
- WHY DO GAY UPL E THE TERMS ‘HBAND’ AND ‘WIFE,’ RATHER THAN ‘PARTNER’?
- IS IT GAY HBAND? LBIAN WIFE? OR WHAT?
- HOW TO INTRODUCE A MARRIED GAY COUPLE
- GAY MARRIAGE QUTN: ARE THEY BOTH LLED "WIFE" OR "HBAND"?
- GAY MARRIAGE QUANDARY: AM I THE BRI OR GROOM?
- THE LBIAN WRER AND HER FLAMBOYANT GAY HBAND
- GAY MARRIAGE AND THE EVOLVG LANGUAGE OF LOVE
- THE LANGUAGE OF GAY MARRIAGE
- STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
- HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
- CELEBRATG MY (GAY) DIVORCE
WHY DO GAY UPL E THE TERMS ‘HBAND’ AND ‘WIFE,’ RATHER THAN ‘PARTNER’?
* gay couple husband and wife *
Dear Civili: My wife (female) and I are supporters of gay marriage, but we are puzzled about gay upl g the terms “wife” and “hband.
IS IT GAY HBAND? LBIAN WIFE? OR WHAT?
An Army sergeant asks how to troduce his girliend to a married gay uple, one of whom is an officer. * gay couple husband and wife *
(Still, I uldn’t help but notice that the boyiend of Michael Sam, the first openly gay football player to be drafted by an NFL team, was rrectly lled out by some as Sam’s “wife” and “trophy wife” on social media, highlightg the tradnal stereotyp of “hband/wife” rol. A gay man, engaged to his fiance, spoke for many on my Facebook page when he posted this rponse to your qutn: “When we marry I will ll him my hband bee he will be, and I will be his.
HOW TO INTRODUCE A MARRIED GAY COUPLE
So, I was workg on a tax return for a gay uple (I'm an acuntant). Now, assume that they were married and was two men, would they say "This is my... * gay couple husband and wife *
” In short, once legally wed, spo — whether straight or gay — have earned the tl “hbands” and “wiv.
GAY MARRIAGE QUTN: ARE THEY BOTH LLED "WIFE" OR "HBAND"?
As New York gay and lbian upl prepare to sh for marriage licens, the cy may be unprepared for genr qutns. * gay couple husband and wife *
” That don’t mean that every gay or lbian uple will embrace those terms, jt as some oppose-sex upl prefer partner or spoe spe their legal stat. Take a look at this lovely vio of a young boy talkg to his newly married gay dad. Every other week, Steven Petrow, the thor of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lbian Manners, ” addrs qutns about LGBT and straight etiquette his new lumn, Civili.
GAY MARRIAGE QUANDARY: AM I THE BRI OR GROOM?
Durg arguments this week at the Supreme Court over gay marriage, Jtice Samuel Alo poted out that the stutn is "newer than cellphon or the Inter." That means the language ed to scribe same-sex relatnships is new, too. And even lguists say they're still learng. * gay couple husband and wife *
Boomg|Is It Gay Hband?
27, 2012Every other Tuday, Steven Petrow, the thor of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lbian Manners, ” (Workman, 2011), addrs qutns about gay and straight etiquette for a boomer-age dience. " I am a straight man my 50s, and most same-sex upl of my age group e “partner” to refer to each other although younger gay male iends speak of their “hbands” wh lbian upl routely g “wife.
Given today’s crazy-quilt mix of state marriage laws (ma even more so by the Electn Day victori for gay weddgs), ’s no wonr you are nfed about how to refer to our signifint others. The other day I heard about a recently married gay man who mentned his “hband” passg to a woman of a certa age (meang ours!
THE LBIAN WRER AND HER FLAMBOYANT GAY HBAND
Gay marriage: Can a man be a wife? Can a woman be a hband? * gay couple husband and wife *
It’s tertg to me that you rrectly intify the generatnal difference among your gay, lbian and bisexual iends (two snaps for payg attentn!
GAY MARRIAGE AND THE EVOLVG LANGUAGE OF LOVE
The show "My Hband’s Not Gay” has ed an uproar. * gay couple husband and wife *
) and I’ll bet you’re likely to rell when other terms were vogue — “longtime pann” was obuary for “gay” – and back the day the sexually suggtive “lover” was the mon moniker for many a practil level what I suggt dog is listeng to how a uple troduc or refers to each other. For stance, I recently overheard a gay iend a long-term relatnship refer to his better half as his “spoe” only to hear one of the straight folks ask him mut later what kd of work his “iend” did. I’d love to see Endora st a spell on Congrs and get to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which prohibs Feral regnn of gay and lbian weddgs (and ni more than 1, 100 benefs like Social Secury for survivg spo or hospal visatn rights).
THE LANGUAGE OF GAY MARRIAGE
If you need advice about gay/straight suatns or issu (geared to a boomer-aged dience), send them to Mr. If you intify wh those terms, go ahead and adopt them for your queer, LGBTQ+, gay or lbian weddg ceremony language.
” To make the change for your queer, LGBTQ+, gay or lbian weddg ceremony, you uld change “man and wife” to: wife and wife, hbands together, spo, partners for life, equal partners marriage, or jt married!
STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
The bottom le for planng your queer, gay or lbian weddg ceremony. For upl planng a queer, LGBTQ+, gay or lbian weddg ceremony – or any non-cis non-hetero ceremony for that matter – you tomatilly are nonted wh cisns that cisgenr, heterosexual upl don’t have to make.
24, 2013Every other Tuday, Steven Petrow, the thor of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lbian Manners” (Workman, 2011), addrs qutns about gay and straight etiquette for a boomer-age dience.
HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
Send qutns for Civil Behavr to Dear Civil Behavr: I’m a sergeant the Army, and my girliend and I are to meet wh a married gay uple (he’s an officer). ” This year, thanks to the Supreme Court’s double punch June — guttg the feral Defense of Marriage Act and dismissg California’s Prop 8 — the floodgat have opened and gay upl are shg to take advantage of this momento time. ’ ”Ined, etiquette n sometim seem like a strajacket (“do this, not that”), but also sets out protol, as this suatn, that simply mak for fewer missteps or fx that said, I know om iends and my own recent marriage that changg monikers tak some gettg ed to — by both gays and straights.
CELEBRATG MY (GAY) DIVORCE
For stutns still adaptg to openly gay service members, the chang etiquette mt seem head-spng ed. The stunts were there to learn about gay relatnships a settg where they uld ask qutns whout fear. ”Now ’s easy for a gay person to get offend by this qutn.
I read an article recently that quoted RuPl, a gay in, who said, “The people who are mullg over certa words will have to ask themselv, ‘Is that word g om a place of love, or g om a place of hate? One of the biggt reasons is that we as gay people are fightg to not be assigned a genr or a role all of the time our relatnships or life.
As gay people, we want to be seen as two people who love each other and are a mted relatnship.