Gay Relatnships Can Be More Stable Than Straight On | Psychology Today

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class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-riser"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="wn803"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">How to Have a Succsful Threome, Acrdg to People Who Have a Lot of Them</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">Steer clear of the mon threome pfalls.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/sophia-beno">Sophia Beno</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2019-07-24T09:00:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">July 24, 2019</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz bDeLJQ"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="film still om tv show easy of three characters hookg up" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">Netflix</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Wise men. Ltle pigs. Jonas Brothers. If you’ve seen any image of Idris Elba a three piece su you get . Three is a magic number, <em>pecially</em> when to sex. The allure of the ménage à trois nnot be ignored. Acrdg to Dr. Jt Lehler, who terviewed over 4,000 upl for his book <em>Tell Me What You Want,</em> havg a threome is the <a href=">top sexual fantasy</a>, although men seem to be a b more trigued by the ia (<a href=">a separate study</a> showed that 82% of men and 31% of women reported at least some tert havg a threome).</p><p>However, <a href=">people aren’t actually havg that many threom</a>, only 3% of people surveyed had a threome the past year, and only 1% of people surveyed had one the past month. So, I reached out to people who have “regular or semi-regular” threom, and I learned a lot about <a href=">what tak to make one happen</a>, and what mak them so damn hot.</p><h2><strong>First thg’s first: how do you even set up a threome?</strong></h2><p>“Before I was to all of this I was pletely obliv to my surroundgs. Now that I regnize like-md people, is easy to sense someone’s ‘vibe’. It’s actually shockg how many people (pecially upl) are out at the bars hopg to fd a new rec.” —Angela, 42, Oklahoma Cy</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>“I joke wh my gay iends that settg up a threome wh two other gay men is more plited than negotiatg peace the Middle East. Gay men tend to be VERY sexually picky, and if 2 people are terted addg a third, the vettg procs is exhstive (multiple pictur of all parti om multiple angl and sexual preference rume as well as hostg negotiatns).” —Louis, 36, Santa Cz</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>“We typilly get to know someone a group settg (not <em>that</em> kd of group—jt out wh iends) and then, if they seem like they would be terted after some d flirtg, my wife msag them askg if we n take them out—like on a real date, not jt drks or straight to our hoe.” —Keh, 32, Hoton</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="jf1br"></div></div><p>“I would say the most mon way we go about settg up threom is probably through Grdr.” —Sutter, 27, Columb</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“I approach someone wh my partner there, flirt wh the person enough to make obv, then have my partner flirt wh them as well. You n kd of immediately tell if they’re to or not, and I bow out if they seem anyway nfed or unfortable. It’s ls awkward than you might thk!” —Kate, 26, Chigo</p><h2><strong>What mak them so hot?</strong></h2><p>“Beg timate wh a new person, the experience of scg someone as a uple, and the var, um, ‘nfiguratns’ you n try wh a third person.” —Keh, 32, Hoton</p><p>“Threom are as hot as the people volved. If sex wh person A is hot, and sex wh person B is hot, then would stand to reason that sex wh A and B at the same time would be jt as hot, if not hotter. Threom, on their own, are not herently hot.” —Yvonne, 29, Charlotte</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="a7l9ks"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="1p8eyb"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>“It's like beg IN a porn that you are also watchg. Also the attentn. Also the taboo of ? If that mak sense? I love watchg people fuck. I love fuckg. Porque no los dos?” —Louis, 36, Santa Cz</p><p>“Actually, I’ve learned some new ways to ph my hband’s buttons bee of the way a third engag wh him or tri somethg on him. So threom n be a great way to learn more about your own partner and yourself sexually.” —Ben, 32, Boston</p><p>“There are tim where takg a break and watchg your partner wh someone n be a blast too. My wife, for example, shocked herself how quickly she would climax jt watchg me wh another man” —Andre, 29, Hoton</p><p>“It’s often been an all night affair and not jt a 20-30 mute experience, which to me is pretty great!” —Thomas, 30, Asbury Park</p><h2><strong>Wh whom do you have threom? How did you get to ?</strong></h2><p>“My first threome was my bt iend and I gog up to a guy at a party and beg really straightforward and askg if he would like to have a threome wh .”—Margot, 20, Mneapolis</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“My partner is a top; I am too (sometim I bottom, he never bottoms). Oral got old and I wanted to keep datg, but not lim my sex to only our teractns. I was tryg really hard to make ‘jt ’ sex work, but after about three months of beg sexually trated we had a talk and both revealed we had no problem beg open.” —Louis, 36, Santa Cz</p><p>“My partner and I were both sharg stori about our sexual histori this one time, and the topic of threom me up. We both said we had them, and my partner said he wanted to have that experience wh me, too.” —Corne, 29, Chigo</p><h2><strong>What are some l or boundari that you have around threom</strong>?</h2><p>“No kissg anyone else. No cuddlg anyone else. No sensual massagg. Basilly nothg that we nsir ‘timate.’ [For ] is not makg love. It is sex. Jt sex. I look at the same way as if I ed a sex toy to enhance thgs. In that moment, the other people volved are simply toys.” —Angela, 42, Oklahoma Cy</p><p>“Generally not strangers or close iends. They mt be sgle. Not an open relatnship or poly, but sgle. We are open to all genrs; ’s very much a matter of personal chemistry.”—Keh, 32, Hoton</p><p>“I like to watch my girliend have sex wh other women. I ually don't have sex wh the women beyond oral sex. Sometim my girliend will sist I have sex wh someone and if I feel up to , I will.” —Nathaniel, 40, Huntsville</p><p>“I thk the most important le is that no partner should ever be ‘takg one for the team.’ If you're not on the same page or one person isn't enthiastilly to an experience, then don't do .” —Corne, 29, Chigo</p><p>“My boyiend is no longer allowed to fish si of another woman. We did one time and I had a more emotnal rponse than I expected to, so we vowed never aga on that one” —Isla, 26, Washgton D.C.</p><h2><strong>What are some surprisg logistil ncerns around threom?</strong></h2><p>“Larger group-sex events are way easier to anize. The ‘buffet style’ seems to make people more fortable. I thk the ia is, I'm not to everyone here but I'm to enough of them that I n pick what I want and avoid what I don't.’ A three way wh two terted parti and one lewarm party n be disappotg for that lonely 33% of the group.” —Louis, 36, Santa Cz</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="fxo68"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-804"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt cKAPsp">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iWjhti summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="All the Unr-$20 Style, Tech, and Home Goods We're Feelg This Augt" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">All the Unr-$20 Style, Tech, and Home Goods We're Feelg This Augt</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Lori Keong</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iWjhti summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in 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srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Story Behd Jay-Z’s New Holy Grail Rolex" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Story Behd Jay-Z’s New Holy Grail Rolex</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Cam Wolf</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iWjhti summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Zac Eon and Jeremy Allen Whe Are Swole-as-Hell The Iron Claw's First-Look Image" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Zac Eon and Jeremy Allen Whe Are Swole-as-Hell <em>The Iron Claw's</em> First-Look Image</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Jack Kg</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw dacLSS ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="fj1hmh"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs joBAUg"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="obwvm"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>“If you [have threom] somewhat regularly, take breaks or long stretch of time where you jt foc on each other as a uple.” —Keh, 32, Hoton</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“Another logistil ncern if one person your threome is male—ndoms. If you’re havg perative sex and want to e ndoms might take more than one as there is a lot of swchg around volved a threome. It n get tricky.” —Kate, 26, Chigo</p><p>“Havg a big bed is kd of important, and an extra room for a person to actually sleep really helps—three one bed n be a problem. And the MMF (two guys, one woman) threom, neher guy wants to actually sleep the same bed. The drive home and breakfast the followg day n be funny or awkward, pendg on the people volved. And if you’re a man jog an MMF threome, make sure you discs whether there will be any male to male teractn beforehand.” —Thomas, 30, Asbury Park</p><h2><strong>What are some of the most mon misnceptns about havg threom?</strong></h2><p>“That ’s an approved form of cheatg, or a good way to spice up your sex life. —Shane, 28, Seattle</p><p>“They aren’t awkward! I have had iends tell me that they wouldn’t know what to do or that they’d feel self-nsc or weird. I thk works the same way as two people havg sex – if you jt ask what they like, discs your expectatns upont, and are all agreement, n be amazgly fun.” —Kate, 26, Chigo</p><p>“Most people thk that if you date someone who is bisexual they will be open to threom. This is not the se. Jt like unisexual people, some bisexual people favor monogamo relatnships and some are open to threom. I start wh the assumptn that every person favors monogamy absent signs that they are to threom.” —Nathaniel, 40, Huntsville</p><p>“That everybody needs to be volved throughout the entirety of the experience.” —Logan, 28, Miami</p><p>“We have great sex on our own, so we’re not g threom to ‘fix’ thgs or as a distractn.” —Isla, 26, Washgton D.C.</p><h2><strong>What mak for a good threome? A bad one?</strong></h2><p>“We set ourselv up for succs by assurg our third beforehand that they n drop out at any pot if they feel unfortable! We n to this at tim bee we have sex wh men who have never had sex wh women and women who have never been wh men. We may be their first time and they’re not sure how they’re gog to feel about .” —Kelsey, 30, At</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-4 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“When planng a threome ask yourself why you want to do this. Make sure you really want to do this for yourself and not to keep your partner happy. Be ready to lgh at yourself. As awkward as two bodi n be, a third is exponentially tricky.” —Margot, 20, Mneapolis</p><p>“I did watch some threome porn back when I first beme terted, to see what posns might work bt or help keep everyone volved. I thk that helped me feel ls like I would ms somethg up. If you are the uple, go over your l. Are you fortable wh everythg? What are you terted dog, what are they terted dog? Do you plan on lettg the third spend the night? Should the third know any important rmatn about eher of you?” —Kate, 26, Chigo</p><p>“Look, fuckg multiple people at once is jt mathematilly difficult, may not work and there's no prep you n do to make sure go flawlsly. Bt thg you n do is remember that, bluntly, at the end of the day your partner matters more than the third, and make sure you're not ignorg their feelgs the moment. It n be a whirlwd, people n change on a dime. A willgns to fail, learn om , and lgh at your mistak is more important than any multaskg skill! If you're the type of person that n't lgh at a fart durg sex, this jt may not be for you!” —Andre, 29, Hoton</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ayclx"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div 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OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">What It’s Like to Be an “Old” Virg</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Sophia Beno</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="nxkrtc"></div></div><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/booty-booty-booty"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Get Into Butt Stuff" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex and Relatnships</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">How to Get Into Butt Stuff</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Sophia Beno</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/the-bt-sex-toys-for-men"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Bt Sex Toys for Men" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Wellns</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">The Bt Sex Toys for Men </div></div></div><div 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Milary, stunt, teacher disunts</p></div></div></div></a></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--footer should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--footer" data-no-id="vm18hk"></div></div></div></div></div></ma><div class="BasePageMaFooterFiller-hTlZph jSriYf page__ma-footer-filler"></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--cm-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan BasePageSeFooterRow-kpEBGH jqlJed"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 BasePageSeFooterRowGrid-iBGjXL zQNeb"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><footer class="SeFooterWrapper-bXjkRY cWRwDX se-footer--wh-store"><div class="SeFooterGridNoMargs-jSrXSj kdlxBX" data-ttid="SeFooterGridNoMargs"><div class="SeFooterBrandInfo-cdoqKy cdkwFG"><div class="SeFooterLogo-eYlNHY eigdAF se-footer__logo"><a href="/"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset SeFooterLogoRponsiveAsset-ckjzWk kubVDn se-footer__rponsive-image"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SeFooterLogoRponsiveAsset-ckjzWk kubVDn se-footer__rponsive-image rponsive-image"><img alt="GQ" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/gq-global/assets/" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture></span></a></div><div data-ttid="SeFooterAbout" class="SeFooterAbout-lflfWa eVMDfx"><div class="SeFooterAboutText-XXKBX blTbmF">Sce 1957, GQ has spired men to look sharper and live smarter wh s unparalleled verage of style, culture, and beyond. From award-wng wrg and photography to bge-ready vios to electric live events, GQ meets lns of morn men where they live, creatg the moments that create nversatns.</div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV hwdgCG social-ins social-ins--footer SeFooterSocialIns-cLAKVY pJQob"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA gBoIvv social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR gQILrJ social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--stagram social-ins__list-em--footer"><a aria-label="Follow on Instagram" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU kIrcWf social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--stagram" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-stagram" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Instagram .