Unrstandg Gay & Lbian Inti | The Trevor Project

i'm gay and that's ok

"I'm OK - You're OK." That tchy tle is repeated oftentim to this day unselg parents how to handle a son or dghter revealg they are gay or lbian. "Don't be judgmental. Convey unndnal love. Accept them as they are. Realize they're born this way. Reassure them you're okay and they're okay whatever sexual inty they choose."

Contents:

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

There's a gay stereotype for every generatn, and a reason for every ntradictory eratn. But some clich are built to last. * i'm gay and that's ok *

Gay dividuals are romantilly or sexually attracted to people who are the same genr as them. If you’re more aroed by people who are the same genr as you, you might be gay.

Keep md that experienc of sexual aroal are extremely nuanced, and aren’t ncrete proof that you’re gay. For stance, you n be aroed by gay adult media whout necsarily beg gay yourself. If you tend to velop csh on people who are the same genr as you, uld be a sign that you’re gay.

If you often fantasize about relatnships volvg specific genrs, you may be queer or gay. You may be gay, but you uld also be pansexual or bisexual if you sometim thk about the other genr.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * i'm gay and that's ok *

You’ve probably heard stereotyp about what mak someone gay, but none of the are te.

I’M A GAY CLICHé — AND THAT’S OK

How do I know if I am gay? Are there fe signs you are gay? We have answers. Consir the signs you might be gay. * i'm gay and that's ok *

Keep md that even if you have a sexual experience wh someone of the same genr or another genr, that don’t necsarily mean that you’re gay.

Thgs would be so simple if you uld jt label yourself as gay and be done wh , but may not be that easy. While “gay” is a totally valid label to intify wh, isn’t the only LGBTQ+ label out there. That means, for example, that you n be transgenr but also straight (for stance, you might intify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (e.

OP-ED: I'M GAY, NOT TRANS, AND THAT'S OK

Slogan: I am gay & that's OK. - See more gay lgbt slogans, * i'm gay and that's ok *

Article SummaryXIf you’re not sure how to know if you are gay, thk about any past romantic experienc you have had. If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed.

But many people assume sexual orientatn is fairly stable—that whether you’re gay or straight, you’re “born this way, ” and that’s what you’ll be fely isn’t always the se. This is pecially te for men; while bisexualy among women is slightly more socially acceptable (albe bee ’s fetishized and often viewed as an "experiment"), men often have to ntend wh the belief that bisexualy, as Carrie once put on Sex and the Cy, is “a p stop on the way to gay town. Studi show that bisexual people are at a higher risk of prsn, anxiety, and experiencg vlence than their gay, lbian, and heterosexual unterparts.

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.

AM I GAY?

The phrase “that’s so gay” has tradnally been unrstood as homophobic. Stonewall’s School Report argued this posn, and will be discsed their upg Edutn Conference. Stonewall argu… * i'm gay and that's ok *

Consir takg an onle sexualy quiz, like this one, to see if intifyg as gay feels right for you. There isn't any need to change yourself - beg gay is jt another way of simply existg, and there is nothg wrong wh at all. The fact that I am gay is jt another facet of who I am, jt as beg creative, or optimistic, or havg brown ey is.

Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are. You do not need to f to the gay muny jt as much as you don't need to f to the straight muny. There are many, many gay people all sorts of muni, and there are many people there for you when you need support.

Fd a group or a hangout where you feel fortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk wh.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

Like other words meant to hurt someone, 's bt not to e the word gay a mean way. * i'm gay and that's ok *

If you were raised an environment that owns on homosexualy, you are not worth any ls. The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals and want pannship and love jt like anyone else you know.

It is important to note that the Amerin Psychologil Associatn has clared that groups claimg to cure homosexualy are dangero and unhealthy. If you are still beg supported by parents whom you are que sure would disown you for beg gay, may be pnt to wa to tell them until you are pennt.

You may regret the acceptance of your orientatn the future, pecially if you're a part of the world where the gay muny is beg prosecuted by a specific culture. Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy. It’s also important to unrstand that you don’t need to nform to gay stereotyp or tl, as they are artificial social nstcts.

"THAT'S SO GAY" IS JT SO WRONG

There have been tim when I've stood alone a room emtg wty remarks, as upl and groups giggle and snter by, and I've realized the absolute horror: I am a gay cliche. Two, as I've mentned before (wty gays are so repetive), I'm the perennial wty gay bachelor, even now that you n have an actual weddg and ve loved on and serve meatballs.

They were your archetypal gay old maids -- always on fire wh a retort, but never the spotlight, pecially wh any signifint dancg partner to speak of.

IS IT OK TO SAY "THAT'S SO GAY"?

Gay clich stem om the societal reali of the moment, as dictated by prsur and mor. Showbiz people weren't openly gay back then, but they uld get away wh beg flamboyant and full of suggtn, wh the lims ascribed by munal "good taste. " As Lyn and Reilly showed , 's not jt the gay muny that creat the ia of what mak a "hot gay" of the moment.

Each generatn seems to have a uple of gay clich or ials, one stemmg om the macho ethic and the other om the flamboyant one.

UNRSTANDG GAY & LBIAN INTI

Even the '60s, when we were lovg wrist-flappg Pl Lyn as much as the straights were, we admired the mtached ial via the last gasp of mcle magaz (which pretend to be about fns), followed by an explosn of gay porn filled wh swaggerg sex hero. In the post-Stonewall '70s, gays ran on a hedonistic rampage, wh sex, dgs, and dis everywhere you turned. It was hard to look manly while dancg to songs like "Turn The Beat Around, " but the gays tried , plete wh leather outfs and the requise swls.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR CHILD SAID, 'I'M GAY'?

At the height of this madns, the dis group the Village People nnily brought together six gay stereotyp, all machismo-lan, om the nstctn worker to the Amerin Indian. "Gay clon" were the norm up and down New York's Christopher Street, but glam rock explod at the same time.

The cliched gay uldn't jt be butch; he also had to work out obssively and velop an eye-poppg set of abs. Although didn't work, led to nformy that ma gay men feel at home dance clubs, where they dulged paradoxilly unhealthy behavrs. Aga, we saw a dichotomy bee our poster boys were wispy, new wave sgers like Boy Gee and Gee Michael, who we had no doubts were our gay brethren, abs or no abs.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO ‘THAT’S SO GAY’ & OTHER ANTI-LGBTQ+ COMMENTS?

The AIDS activism group ACT UP was found 1987, and by the 1990s, the gay cliche was a mcle queen who wore bat boots wh cutoff jeans and marched the streets for progrs. There still weren't that many openly gay celebri, but there were gay characters -- such as on the h s Will & Grace (1998-2006), where Sean Hay's character, Jack McFarland, was a nouve Pl Lyn full of w and super-ficialy. As the differenc between gays and the mastream started fadg, we beme more homogenized our approach to life and love, and wh our muny we spltered more aggrsively to the varyg typ of gays we reprented.

No matter what kd of gay you were, beg out seemed way more sential than the old days. Wh so many open and powerful gays the biz, our ins beme biggi like Neil Patrick Harris, Matt Bomer, Jim Parsons, and Anrson Cooper.

So, I've cid that I'm proud to be a gay cliche, and I'm gog to wear on my vtage Yv Sat Lrent sleeve rather than act shamefully about . While women take on tradnal boy rol, get plds for breakg stereotyp b by b (at least by those not threatened by ), boys, even gay on, still have an issue dog the same thg back -- turng to an all-or-nothg mentaly.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* I'M GAY AND THAT'S OK

Op-ed: I'm Gay, Not Trans, and That's OK .

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