When Your Child Is Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• EXPLAG IT TO YOUR KIDS: WHAT DO 'BEG GAY' MEAN?
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

Many of the straight parents I terviewed for When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know exprsed havg felt disappotment learng that their child was LGBT. Would he be fired at his job if his supervisors found out that he were gay? Would he have to live a gay-iendly neighborhood?

Natalie, 63, a mother om Long Island, found out that two of her three children were gay.

" Natalie felt that was a loss to the fay geic pool and kept wonrg if beg gay was a choice. Richard Ogawa of Seattle figured out he was gay llege. Richard told me, "Perhaps if every parent toyed wh the possibily that any of their children uld be gay, would change the way they raise their children.

EXPLAG IT TO YOUR KIDS: WHAT DO 'BEG GAY' MEAN?

Gay children are no different—so ltle of their sexual orientatn has to do wh who they are as a whole. "It is rare to work wh parents of a gay child who have not stggled wh the feelg of loss at some pot the procs of acceptg their child as gay, " my -thor, Jonathan Tobk, M.

Parents feel sad that their gay child has lost the possibily of havg a life whout signifint difficulty. " Yet Tobk has found that "gay people tell you they are happy wh who they are and feel that they have emerged on the other si of g out as strong, sensive, and rilient dividuals. Havg a gay child is not a loss of a child altogether.

"Mommy, what do ‘beg gay' mean? Therefore, I mt say that I would probably fer - or at least do everythg I uld to fer - a discsn of homosexualy and gay behavr wh a child 10 years old and unr. Even more, homosexual knowledge entails unrstandg thgs I would hope to put off young children as long as possible.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

But I also regnize that younger and younger children are beg exposed to homosexual persons, them, and issu and are naturally nfed and cur about . Whether om school, by social and public teractns, or through televisn and movi, homosexualy is beg thst upon and is challengg a heterosexual world.

Any munitns wh children this age, seekg to unrstand homosexualy, should rpect the le of 'the ls said the better. Followg is an overview of the biblil, scientific, and clil knowledge we have about homosexualy.

You will want to know if and how homosexualy was fed to the child, and whether or not was prented a posive or negative light. Qutn your child matter-of-factly about how the qutn arose, and what the child unrstands, if anythg, about homosexualy. Clarify what ‘beg gay' means.