I'm Aaid That I'm Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
• HOW TO OVERE FEELGS OF SHAME AROUND BEG GAY
• HOCD – GAY OR HOMOSEXUAL OCD AND REVERY
• HOCD: IF YOU FEAR BEG GAY OR BI, YOU'RE NOT!
• 'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY
• I'M AAID THAT I'M GAY

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

14 Ways To Defeat Your Fears of Beg Gay. There are many gay men who say "I'm not part of the scene" -- men who hate gay bars and, prumably, crowds of queer people general. Internalized homophobia -- self-shamg, self-hatred -- leads many gay men, and many queer people general, to recreate their closets long after they're "out" by shunng others, particularly those they nsir "flamboyant.

YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD

" Y, there are some good reasons to rce your participatn gay bars (time, money, health). But you mt spend time wh others, whether that means havg a group of gay movie iends or queer gamers or playg on a gay sports team.

HOW TO OVERE FEELGS OF SHAME AROUND BEG GAY

Go to gay bars, even if they make you unfortable. This parable piece by lbian wrer Sarah Prager go through the lp of great gays who changed the world -- om ventor Alan Turg to Tchaikovsky, the poser, to the Renaissance pater and ventor Leonardo da Vci.

AIDS vastated muni of gay men and transgenr women, particularly gay men and trans women of lor. Read the numbers: In four years, more than 5, 596 people the Uned Stat had died of AIDS, many of them gay men and transgenr women.

But if I hadn't experienced all that adversy, I wouldn't be so furly proud to be gay. Fd a gay elr who's been where you are and r for your well-beg, someone who unrstands you and never pass judgment, someone who lets you make the mistak you need to make.

HOCD – GAY OR HOMOSEXUAL OCD AND REVERY

Tmp has repeatedly attacked transgenr servicemembers, and gay men are still beg hunted and murred Chechnya. There would be no ternalized self-hatred if no one had ever told you that beg gay is wrong, or that gay sex is disgtg, or that gay men n't feel real love, or that beg transgenr is fake, or that beg nonbary is a mental illns or a ll for attentn.

HOCD: IF YOU FEAR BEG GAY OR BI, YOU'RE NOT!

If you thk a word like "gay" or "queer" works for you right now (aga, don't have to work for you forever -- labels do not e wh lifetime ntracts) and you're not ready to tell everyone, simply say out loud to yourself.

In my practice, I sometim enunter men who are so obssively worried they may be gay or bisexual that tak up such a signifint amount of their daily life and thoughts and them nearly cripplg anxiety. Sometim they tly are gay or bisexual, and sometim not at all.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

” He may worry that he appears to be gay if cross his legs at the knee like a woman when stg down rather than havg the typil “man spread. Like those wh Obssive-Compulsive Disorr (OCD), he may exhib the same kd of repet behavrs, such as stg and standg over and over aga to see if they may appear gay the way he do . This may sound like ’s a set-up for a joke, or an ongog lgh le a s, but is a real disorr that some have labeled as Homosexual Obssive-Compulsive Disorr (HOCD), though the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs, the “bible” of psychiatry, has yet to regnize .

HOCD n sudnly occur for some men who, for example, fd themselv beg h on by other gay or bisexual men, mistaken for beg a gay or bisexual man, fd themselv attracted to another man or stumble onto gay porn that exc them. They will often blame the thgs as reasons for how the HOCD started, but isn’t about homosexualy nor bisexualy, is about OCD. In my own clil experience workg wh the men, those who suffer om this may fd themselv obssively lookg at porn, eher gay or straight, to see if they bee sexually exced by eher.

They might nstantly check out others’ reactns to their gtur or nversatn to see if they get any strange looks or other signals that would imply homophobia. They sometim will go to extreme lengths, such as havg sex wh men even though they are not gay or bisexual, which typilly leav them feelg unsatisfied and unfortable.

I'M AAID THAT I'M GAY

Even though they have not been able to nfirm by their pulsive experimentatn that they are, ed, gay, they may even ask me to help them e out as gay or bisexual jt to end the sufferg. Four Qutns I Use to Distguish Gay, Bisexual and Straight Men. I am a specialist sexual orientatn and relatnships and not traed to al wh OCD, so I first mt set out to terme if they are simply closeted gay or bisexual men, or if there is somethg else gog on.