Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?"
Contents:
- IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
- IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
- IS MY HBAND GAY? 10 SIGNS THAT CAN HELP YOU FIGURE OUT
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR HBAND IS GAY
- WHO IS JOSEPH ZIEGLER, THE GAY IRS WHISTLEBLOWER HUNTER BIN PROBE?
- STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
- 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
- 'PASSAG' DIRECTOR NOUNC 'DANGERO' NC-17 RATG ON A FILM PICTG A GAY LOVE STORY
- I FOUND OUT MY HBAND IS GAY
IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
* husband gay or bi *
In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi? Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay.
He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men. A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me?
IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
Is my hband gay? is an unthkable qutn to many wiv, and some hbands do turn out to be gay. Learn the signs of a gay hband. * husband gay or bi *
And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay. That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay.
” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way. Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.
When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic. The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them.
IS MY HBAND GAY? 10 SIGNS THAT CAN HELP YOU FIGURE OUT
In a perfect world, everyone would be ee to be exactly who they are. Unfortunately, that's not always the se, and some women fd themselv married to someone who is the closet. Fd out how to tell if your hband is gay. * husband gay or bi *
So if a client is stgglg wh his sexual orientatn and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way.
He’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been hookg up wh guys he meets through Craigslist. Even if he’s nfed and don’t want to e out as gay, this is who he is and over time that will e out. So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met.
Then I tell them that a lot of gay men don’t do anal at all, eher givg or receivg. The reason is that the guy really is gay and he wants to exprs that sexually and romantilly. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR HBAND IS GAY
Inially, there were accatns that Ziegler, as a gay Democrat, was biased toward Bin, but now some Republins say his inty shows he's fair and reliable sayg the IRS was hampered the vtigatn. * husband gay or bi *
And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy. Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay?
" Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.
If a hband is gay, n vastate not only the relatnship but the straight wife as well. If the hband is hont wh both you and wh himself (read: How Do I Know If I Am Gay? Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own.
WHO IS JOSEPH ZIEGLER, THE GAY IRS WHISTLEBLOWER HUNTER BIN PROBE?
The show "My Hband’s Not Gay” has ed an uproar. * husband gay or bi *
In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved. But if you're wonrg, "Is my man gay, " might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, acrdg to Kaye.
Kaye has veloped the Official Gay Hband Checklist to help women know if their hbands are gay. You fd pop-ups of gay pornography on the puter while he claims they are not his.
STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
A hband may be gay and display none of those signs or a hband may display the signs and not be gay. Kaye advis that women "follow their stcts" when cidg whether their hband may be gay. If turns out that a hband is, fact, gay, the fallout n be difficult to al wh, particularly for the straight partner.
'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
(If you're thkg that you n cure the gay by havg your hband go to gay nversn therapy, read this. What's important to remember is that the hband's homosexualy is entirely his rponsibily and has nothg to do wh the wife. The wife has not been aquate any way and likely the gay hband married her bee he tly red about her.
None of the, however, e close to the enormy of noticg the signs your hband is gay. Regular marriage problems pale parison to g to terms wh this realizatn: my hband is gay.
'PASSAG' DIRECTOR NOUNC 'DANGERO' NC-17 RATG ON A FILM PICTG A GAY LOVE STORY
If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your Hband that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men. Keep readg for a thorough list of potential signs that your hband might be gay. It might be surprisg to know that if your spoe isn't straight, he might actually display extreme homophobic behavur.
He will show signs of disapproval towards gay men and gay upl, as well as be particularly vol about how wrong homosexualy is. If your hband is watchg or readg homosexual pornography, ’s probably not bee he’s cur. If your hband is seekg out male pany, or jog certa clubs or groups that are specifilly for men, uld be a sign that he is gay, and wants to spend a lot of time wh men or a certa man, away om you.
There are many reasons why someone might act this way, so this by self is not a surefire sign that he’s gay.
I FOUND OUT MY HBAND IS GAY
However, if you fd several of the other signs to be rgg te, and his behavr is sneaky, uld mean he's gay. If he’s gay, he might thrive on other men’s attentn, equently touch or hug them, or exchange flirty ments wh them (pecially about their physil appearance).
But is there a mographic of people that are also gay, people you have never heard of, and people that seem to be new iends that they never mentned to you? Kaye advis that women "follow their stcts" when cidg whether their hbands may be gay.
Far too many women wonr if their hbands are gay whout ever talkg about wh anyone else, which n feel very bad as is to acknowledge, I’m very well aware that I live one of the most open-md parts of the untry, spe how often I still hear homophobic and transphobic ments on a near-daily a nonbary person, I n’t image what mt be like to be gay other parts of the Uned Stat.