Are Chip and Dale gay or brothers? - Cemaphile

Contents:

• THE MOST RETRO THG ABOUT CHIPS IS THE GAY PANIC
• HOW GAY IS YOUR FOOD?
• JIMMY JOHNS CHIPS ARE GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• ARE CHIP AND DALE GAY OR BROTHERS?
• POTATO_CHIPS_ARE_GAY
• AM I GAY?

THE MOST RETRO THG ABOUT CHIPS IS THE GAY PANIC

The only way to get a bag is by makg a donatn of $10 or more through the webse for the It Gets Better Project, a mpaign that supports lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr youth. As Ponch explas , ’s not homophobic to have a phobia of another man’s body, as long as the du whose dickprt is squickg you out also isn’t gay.

Hate to break to you, Ponch, but ternalized homophobia is still homophobia. And this movie reli so heavily on tired gay panic trop, ’s almost a relief when chang tacks for an extend riff on how hilar is to make out wh ugly chicks. The New York Tim wh the help of Barney's creative ambassador Simon Doonan has cid this week that your food n be gay or article is om the archive of our partner New York Tim wh the help of Barney's creative ambassador Simon Doonan has cid this week that your food n be gay or straight.

Apparently, a "gay" food isn't jt a potato that seeks marriage equaly, remds you was born this way, or owns a summer share on Fire Island. Acrdg to Doonan, his new (satiril) book Gay Men Don't Get Fat and his terview wh The Tim today, gay food is lighter, brighter, more artistic, art-directed--food that you'd fd where health and athetics tersect (and that's very different than what Doonan labels "lbian food"--"Organic olive oil, thick porridge, heapg helpgs of wheat germ, " and s ilk).

HOW GAY IS YOUR FOOD?

" We enjoyed Doonan's sweepg gay food generalizatns so we put them to the unscientific, anecdotal tt, assigned them a rpective Ksey ratg and me up wh your (pletely unscientific) gui to the sexualy of food, om gayt to straightt:What is: Shi; Sashimi; Cdo; Seafood Tartare; Ceviche What Doonan Says: "Japane food — that is some serly gay food...

JIMMY JOHNS CHIPS ARE GAY

Basilly, you’re takg sloppy bs of fish and makg them to the exquise ltle bonbons, and that seems ordately gay to me. " What Ksey Says: The Ksey 6 is "exclively homosexual" What We Say: That sort of mak sense. You'd only eat this food a rtrant servg an assortment Doonan's other gay foods, whether 's an appetizer at an Italian rtrant or a ma at a Japane rtrant--the place probably serv lighter, stylized fare on stunng, perhaps over-worked plat.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

The Outlier: Spicy Mayo Anythg Rolls; Supermarket Shi; Any roll wh more than three gredients or one ied object What is: Marons What Doonan Says: "The maron craze is the ne pl ultra of gay foorie. " What Ksey Says: The Ksey 5 is "predomantly homosexual, only cintally heterosexual" What We Say: Though they look like lorful cheeburgers, y, all tak is an "cintal" n- wh Cool Whip to that gay credibily.

ARE CHIP AND DALE GAY OR BROTHERS?

" What Ksey Says: The Ksey 4 is "predomantly homosexual, but more than cintally heterosexual" What We Say: Clearly this isn't the first pairg between the black bean soup and the sour-cream pairg.

POTATO_CHIPS_ARE_GAY

" What Ksey Says: The Ksey 3 is "equally heterosexual and homosexual" or more simply, bisexual. What We Say: Dpe s fat ntent, Doonan mentns that Caar salad and certa pi may tilt more gay than you'd thk. There are novelty mach ma pecially for pani-makg and grillg and certaly has more flair than a ham and chee on wheat bread--Doonan refers to wheat bread as "ferocly lbian and wildly heterosexual"--but all the hidn meats and chee certaly make this food an equal straddler of gay-straight le.

" What Ksey Says: The Ksey 2 is "predomantly heterosexual, but more than cintally homosexual" What We Say: The Tim wrer nces that although the meatloaf is unrelentgly heterosexual, non-potato-based sis like a salad substute n go a long way temperg the Burt Reynolds-ns of this dish.

AM I GAY?

’" What Ksey Says: The Ksey 1 is "predomantly heterosexual, only cintally homosexual" What We Say: Doonan explas that baked chips are herently gay... " What We Say: Burros are the clearly the hate crime of the gay food world and brg together Doonan's unholy try of meat, chee, and avodo (along wh that dodge-worthy sour cream).