When you’re a gay man, agg is plited.
Contents:
- GAY MEN AND AGG
- "I REALIZED I WAS GAY": MEN WHO CAME OUT LATER IN LIFE ARE SHARG WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THEM TO REVEAL THAT TTH AND LIVE AUTHENTILLY
- COMG OUT AS GAY IN YOUR 20S, 30S & 40S
- THE GAY MAN'S GUI TO DATG AFTER 50
- IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
GAY MEN AND AGG
* gay at 40 *
Where was the show that I uld intify wh, the one about gay men their 40s still tryg to figure out life and s twists and turns, ups and downs, surpris and disappotments?
I uldn't fd anythg alg wh issu to which I uld then I thought about all of my 40-somethg gay iends and how they all led very different liv om me and each other's as well. So, along wh my wrg partner John Sobrack (a fellow gay filmmaker, married and his 40s), I created The New 30 -- a digal seri about a group of diverse gay iends navigatg their 40s and disverg that life isn't nearly what they imaged would be at that age. It explor some of the real issu of beg gay and your 40s, such as erectile dysfunctn, tergeneratnal and terracial datg, baby adoptn, open marriag, adaptg to technology, physil challeng of agg, alg wh the past, planng for the future, and havg to start over, to name a few -- all handled serly and dramatilly but wh a touch of humor.
More than half of gay men and nearly 40% of lbian women surveyed 2013 said they had e out to iends and fay before age cisn isn't easy for everyone, though. I’m a 52-year-old gay man, and last year was the year that I fally chose to be open about who I am.
"I REALIZED I WAS GAY": MEN WHO CAME OUT LATER IN LIFE ARE SHARG WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THEM TO REVEAL THAT TTH AND LIVE AUTHENTILLY
Whether you're sgle aga or you've been around the block, gay datg isn't easy. * gay at 40 *
Many gay men will have endured homophobic bullyg at school whilst teachers turned a bld eye; havg parents not unrstandg or acceptg their sexual orientatn; or a difficult and paful g out procs. In the here and now, there is still much homophobia our society: beg looked at an timidatg or shamg way when holdg their same-sex partner’s hand the streets; hearg homophobic people makg plats when gay characters appear on televisn; beg asked appropriate sexual qutns at a party that would never be asked to a heterosexual person; havg to refully select a holiday statn that is gay-iendly. This is what we ll "mory strs, " the chronic strs that occurs every day for beg gay a heterosexual world.
As a rult, gay men (and others the LGBTQ muni) have to velop a shield to protect themselv. One way that gay men n create a sense of safety and protect themselv agast more woundg is by feelg wanted and sexually sired, which wh lookg perfect, showg no signs of vulnerabili and beg young.
For gay men, for some reason, 40 years of age seems to be the thrhold when gay men flip om beg sirable and sexy to beg visible and even sometim an object of disgt. Watchg the Channel 4 seri It’s A S remd me that we didn’t get the chance to see gay men agg when we were growg up bee many of them died their 20s durg the AIDS epimic.
COMG OUT AS GAY IN YOUR 20S, 30S & 40S
There's a way to burst through the shame gay men are ma to feel about homosexualy. * gay at 40 *
The gay male populatn is missg a generatn of olr men who uld have been mentors and teachers offerg guidance this homophobic world. Wh the absence of the olr wisdom the gay muny, youth beme the only safety: As long as one is young and betiful, they will be sired and therefore they won’t be alone. The dilemma is that most gay men want to nnect and love each other, but they’re also havg trouble nnectg bee genue timacy requir the willgns to be vulnerable.
THE GAY MAN'S GUI TO DATG AFTER 50
The dark si of this is that we are leavg behd the agg gay men who survived homophobic trma, the AIDS epimic, and those who fought for the equal rights that we are enjoyg today.
Many gay men still rry ternalised homo-negativy wh the subnsc re belief that is impossible for gay men to love one another, feelg unservg of love.
Yet, there are many gay men strong and lovg relatnships, monogamo on and polyamoro on, livg their liv like everybody else.
IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
It is time to work together to shift the gay culture om the one beg cril of agg to more human nnectns, where we n embrace each other, bee, after all, we all belong to the same fay, the LGBTQ fay — the Rabow Fay. For gay men aged 40 and over to be sirable, they have to be phed to the label of "Daddy.