Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• GAY-STRAIGHT/GENRS & SEXUALI ALLIANC

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

Yet when the men were forced to choose between straight, bisexual or gay, about three-quarters marked straight bee for them bisexual, even if is unrstood as “bisexual-leang straight, ” is too gay to accurately scribe their inty. Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh.

And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy. Wh theater doors bolted shut for the next…foreeable future, we’re thrilled to see some Broadway talent pop up the pilot episo of Boy•Friends, a new edy based off the My Gay Boyiend web-seri.

WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX

) The lights are dimmed slightly and soft mic plays while the men gather, eher alone or small clters, and proceed to jerk off, all the while keepg nversatn to a mimum to ensure everyone stays the of the atten at Ra Cy Jacks are gay men.

He nducts annual surveys of the group, and he says that while the majory of members are gay, about 10 percent of the Seattle Jacks’ 300 or so members self-intify as heterosexual, wh 25 percent intifyg as bisexual. ” Acrdg to a Slate piece on the phenomenon, approximately 10 percent of BateWorld’s ers self-intify as straight, while 5 percent refed to self-intify eher way—a number that pal parison to the more than 44, 000 gay ers of the se (50 percent of s dience; 30 percent intifi as bi, while 5 percent would “rather not say”), but is nohels signifint.

” And given the strict and arguably regrsive s erng male sexualy, which dictate that any man who so much as looks at another man has to be, if not gay, probably bisexual, ’s surprisg that so many ostensibly straight men are terted watchg other guys touch said, for some straight guys who attend jackoff clubs, lookg at or touchg other penis may almost be bi the pot. Ward, the thor of Not Gay, says that some men wh exhibnistic tennci jerk off ont of other men as a way to get validatn—say, a pliment about the size of their genals—that they may not necsarily get om their female partners.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

While both of the experienc are not unmon for men their teens and twenti, they’re stnchly homoerotic nohels—and ’s also worth notg that there isn’t que an equivalent for young women.

Bee the New York Jacks exclively foced on solo and mutual masturbatn, was viewed by many the gay muny as a relatively risk-ee alternative to bathho and sex clubs, which led to membership creasg.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

For both gay and straight men relatnships, jackoff clubs “n be viewed as a way to jtify fily, bee don’t ‘unt’ as cheatg, ” he recent years, jackoff clubs have tered to an creasgly diverse, younger, and more sexually open clientele. This page provis accurate rmatn for those who want to better unrstand sexual orientatn and the impact of prejudice and discrimatn on those who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual. Public opn studi over the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s routely showed that, among large segments of the public, lbian, gay, and bisexual people were the target of strongly held negative attus.

The associatn of HIV/AIDS wh gay and bisexual men and the accurate belief that some people held that all gay and bisexual men were fected served to further stigmatize lbian, gay, and bisexual people.

On an dividual level, such prejudice and discrimatn may also have negative nsequenc, pecially if lbian, gay, and bisexual people attempt to nceal or ny their sexual orientatn. Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience. Helpful rpons of a therapist treatg an dividual who is troubled about her or his same sex attractns clu helpg that person actively pe wh social prejudic agast homosexualy, succsfully rolve issu associated wh and rultg om ternal nflicts, and actively lead a happy and satisfyg life.

GAY-STRAIGHT/GENRS & SEXUALI ALLIANC

The phrase “g out” is ed to refer to several aspects of lbian, gay, and bisexual persons’ experienc: self-awarens of same-sex attractns; the tellg of one or a few people about the attractns; wispread disclosure of same-sex attractns; and intifitn wh the lbian, gay, and bisexual muny. Th, is not surprisg that lbians and gay men who feel they mt nceal their sexual orientatn report more equent mental health ncerns than do lbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physil health problems. Lbian, gay, and bisexual youth who do well spe strs—like all adolcents who do well spe strs—tend to be those who are socially petent, who have good problem-solvg skills, who have a sense of tonomy and purpose, and who look forward to the future.

If they are a heterosexual relatnship, their experienc may be que siar to those of people who intify as heterosexual unls they choose to e out as bisexual; that se, they will likely face some of the same prejudice and discrimatn that lbian and gay dividuals enunter. Although parable data are not available, many sgle lbians and gay men are also parents, and many same-sex upl are part-time parents to children whose primary rince is elsewhere. For example, are the children of lbian or gay parents more vulnerable to mental breakdown, do they have more behavr problems, or are they ls psychologilly healthy than other children?

The picture that emerg om this rearch shows that children of gay and lbian parents enjoy a social life that is typil of their age group terms of volvement wh peers, parents, fay members, and iends. There is no scientific support for fears about children of lbian or gay parents beg sexually abed by their parents or their parents’ gay, lbian, or bisexual iends or acquatanc. In summary, social science has shown that the ncerns often raised about children of lbian and gay parents, ncerns that are generally ground prejudice agast and stereotyp about gay people, are unfound.

Overall, the rearch dit that the children of lbian and gay parents do not differ markedly om the children of heterosexual parents their velopment, adjtment, or overall well-beg. Lbian, gay, and bisexual people who want to help rce prejudice and discrimatn n be open about their sexual orientatn, even as they take necsary preutns to be as safe as possible. When lbians, gay men, and bisexual people feel ee to make public their sexual orientatn, heterosexuals are given an opportuny to have personal ntact wh openly gay people and to perceive them as dividuals.