Three sgle, gay dads talk about their journeys. : NPR

Contents:

• I’M CHRISTIAN, UNLS YOU’RE GAY – SGLE DAD LGHG
• WHAT’S THE TTH BEHD THE VIRAL POST ABOUT A GAY CHRISTIAN TEEN? NO ONE, SEEMS, KNOWS WHETHER A HEARTWARMG EMAIL ABOUT GAY TOLERANCE IS TE. JSE SGAL ASKS WHETHER MATTERS.JSE SGALUPDATED JUL. 13, 2017 2:01PM EDT / PUBLISHED APR. 06, 2012 4:45AM EDT ON S FACE, THE STORY IS HEARTWARMG AND MEMORABLE: DAN PEARCE, A WELL-KNOWN “DADDY BLOGGER,” POSTED AN ENTRY LAST NOVEMBER TO HIS SE SGLE DAD LGHG TLED “I’M CHRISTIAN, UNLS YOU’RE GAY.” IT WAS HIS LL FOR TOLERANCE BASED ON A NVERSATN HE SAID HE HAD WH HIS 27-YEAR-OLD GAY IEND JAB. THE POST EXPLOD, YIELDG DAZZLG NUMBERS.LAST MONDAY, PEARCE PUBLISHED AN EMAIL HE SAID HE RECEIVED OM SOMEONE LLG HERSELF “ONE PROUD MOM.” HER TEENAGE SON, OPM WROTE, HAD BEEN GIVEN A HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT TO WRE AN SAY RPONSE TO PEARCE’S BLOG POST.OPM’S EMAIL, WHICH PEARCE POSTED UNR THE TLE “A TEEN’S BRAVE RPONSE TO ‘I’M CHRISTIAN, UNLS YOU’RE GAY,’” TOLD A POWERFUL STORY OF A CLOSETED TEENAGER G OUT TO HIS MOTHER. IT QUICKLY WENT MEGA-VIRAL, GARNERG MORE THAN 3,000 MENTS, NEARLY 200,000 FACEBOOK LIK, AND LNS OF HS AS OF THURSDAY AFTERNOON, ACRDG TO PEARCE.THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, NO ONE KNOWS WHETHER THE EMAIL IS REAL. IN , OPM TOLD PEARCE WHAT HAPPENED WH HER SON: “HE ME HOME AND SHOWED ME YOUR ARTICLE AND ASKED ME WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT ,” SHE WROTE. “I READ JT THE TLE AND BEME FUR AT HIS TEACHER AND AT YOU (EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU HAD NOTHG TO DO WH HER HANDG OUT THE ASSIGNMENT). ANYWAY, I NFISTED OM HIM AND TOLD HIM HE WASN’T TO DO ANYTHG WH TILL I HAD A CHANCE TO READ FIRST.”THIS SPAWNED A FIGHT, OPM SAID, AFTER WHICH HER SON STORMED OFF TO A IEND’S HOE, WROTE HIS SAY, AND EMAILED TO HER.SHE PASTED THE SAY TO HER MSAGE TO PEARCE. IT BEGAN: “I AM GAY AND ONLY MY ONE IEND KNOWS SO FAR. MY MOM DON’T KNOW YET. MY DAD DON’T KNOW YET. YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHEN YOU GAVE THIS HOMEWORK. I AM ONLY 15 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALONE. MY MOM AND DAD ALWAYS ARE BEG ANGRY ABOUT GAY PEOPLE AND TALKG ABOUT HOW THEY ARE BAD AND GOG TO HELL AND THEY ALSO ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW ALL THE GAYS SHOULD BE SHIPPED OFF TO THEIR OWN PRIVATE ISLAND OR SOMETHG SO THAT THE RT OF ULD LIVE GOD’S MANDMENTS PEACE.” THE YOUNG MAN THEN WENT ON TO WRE ABOUT THE PAFUL DIFFICULTY OF BEG A GAY TEEN A NSERVATIVE HOEHOLD, AND ABOUT HIS THOUGHTS OF SUICI. HE FISHED WH AN SPIRG EXPRSN OF HOPE FOR ACCEPTANCE AND TOLERANCE: “TONIGHT I AM GOG TO SEND THIS TO MY MOM AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS I GUS. I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN BUT I KNOW THAT I SERVE TO BE LOVED JT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE DO I JT HOPE SHE THKS SO TOO.”OPM READ THE SAY, SHE WROTE TO PEARCE, AND HAD A SUDN CHANGE OF HEART.“I STARTED CRYG AND ULDN’T STOP FOR THE LONGT TIME,” SHE WROTE. “I DON’T KNOW WHY I WAS CRYG EXACTLY, JT SO MANY EMOTNS ME OVER ME. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO RPOND. I FALLY STOPPED AND WENT AND READ YOUR ARTICLE ONCE MORE ONLY THIS TIME I TRIED TO READ THROUGH MY SON’S EY AND THE WHOLE THG WAS SO DIFFERENT THAN WAS A UPLE HOURS BEFORE. BY THE TIME I FISHED I FELT AS BIG AS AN ANT AND I REALIZED JT HOW MUCH HATRED I HAVE MY HEART TOWARD OTHERS.”AND FALLY: “YOU SEE, MR. PEARCE, YOU ARE RIGHT. IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO. IT’S ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT WE ARE LOVG THEM. NOTHG ELSE MATTERS AT ALL. AND TOOK ALL OF THIS FOR THAT TO FALLY SK .”THE POST ROCKETED AROUND THE INTER, PRIMARILY VIA SOCIAL WORKG S AND WRPS PLAC SUCH AS SALON, TOWLEROAD (WHICH LLED A “MT-READ POST”) AND QUEERTY. COMMENTERS RAVED.BUT WHILE I AM SYMPATHETIC TO THE PLIGHT OF CLOSETED GAY TEENS, I HAVE TO ADM THAT I DIDN’T SHARE THE INTER’S ENTHIASM HERE.MY FIRST STCT: BULLSH. THE WHOLE THG JT READ TOO CLEAN, TOO EASY. ARE WE REALLY TO BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN WH EPLY-HELD ULTRA-NSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN BELIEFS (SHE WANTED THE GAYS SHIPPED OFF TO THEIR OWN PRIVATE ISLAND!) FOUND OUT HER SON WAS GAY, READ A SGLE BLOG POST BY A TOLERANT THOR, AND VOILA? IT TOOK HER LS TIME TO SEE THE LIGHT THAN WOULD’VE TO WATCH A UPLE RENS OF “QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY.”PL, THE WRG IS REJECTED-HOLLYWOOD-SCRIPT CHEY—“A CHANGE IS STARTG TO HAPPEN AROUND HERE AND ’S BEE ONE TEENAGE BOY FALLY HAD THE URAGE TO STAND AGAST WHAT HE FELT WAS WRONG.” AND OPM OFTEN ACROSS MORE AS A RITURE OF A RELIG NSERVATIVE THAN AS A REAL ONE. “I GOT MADR AND MADR AS I READ AS I FELT LIKE WAS A DIRECT ATTACK AGAST OUR BELIEFS AND OUR CHRISTIAN RELIGN AND THAT WAS PROMOTG HOMOSEXUALY, A PRACTICE THAT AROUND HERE IS A HUGE ‘S,’” SHE WROTE, BEFORE EXPLAG THAT SHE GAVE HER SON “AN EARFUL ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY AND GOD.”THE SON’S STORY DON’T RG TE EHER: “SO I GOT MADR AND MADR AND MADR [NOTE THE SIAR PHRASG TO OPM’S EMAIL] AND THEN I SNUCK OUT AND ME TO MY IENDS HOE TO WRE THIS SAY BEE S TIME TO STOP LETTG PEOPLE’S HATE STOP ME OM BEG HAPPY. I MEAN SHOULD I REALLY HAVE TO HATE MY LIFE AND WANT TO DIE BEE OTHER PEOPLE ARE SO HATG?”OBVLY, ’S POSSIBLE THIS IS ALL REAL. BUT I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS WONRG ABOUT S THENTICY.I LLED PEARCE AND ASKED HIM TO PUT ME TOUCH WH OPM AND HER SON (ON THE BLOG, THE SON IS REPRENTED BY A STOCK PHOTO OF A BLUE-EYED, SHAGGY-HAIRED TEEN). PEARCE TOLD ME THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE: THE NOTE WAS SENT ANONYMOLY TO HIS BLOG’S NTACT PAGE, AND HE SAID HIS NTACT-FORM SOFTWARE DON’T PTURE IP ADDRS.OKAY, BUT DID HE THK WAS REAL?“I N’T SPEAK TO THE VERACY OF WHAT SHE WROTE,” HE SAID. “YOU KNOW, SEEMED LEG TO ME WHEN I POSTED .”BUT SCE THEN, HE SAID, SOME PEOPLE HAVE POTED OUT TO HIM THAT “THE VOICE OF THE MOM AND THE SON KD OF SEEM THE SAME,” AND HE HAS BEGUN TO HAVE A “LTLE NAGGG DOUBT THAT MAYBE I GOT DUPED.“I JT HAVE NO WAY TO VERIFY, AND IS TRATG TO ME THAT WAS SOME ANONYMO PERSON. BUT I GET A LOT OF ANONYMO EMAILS SO I DIDN’T REALLY THK TWICE ABOUT WHEN I GOT .”STILL, PEARCE SAID, HE’S NOT SURE MATTERS WHETHER OR NOT WAS TE. “I’VE BEEN THKG ABOUT THAT FOR THE PAST UPLE DAYS, YOU KNOW. AND I THK THE MSAGE DON’T MATTER IF ’S TE.” (PAGG MIKE DAISEY!)“OBVLY I DON’T WANT TO POST ANYTHG ON MY BLOG THAT ISN’T TE, AND I WOULDN’T HAVE POSTED ANYTHG HAD I HAD ANY SPICN THAT ’S FALSE,” PEARCE SAID. “THE MSAGE IS TE REGARDLS.”PEARCE SAID HE EQUENTLY GETS EMAILS THAT SEEM MA-UP OM PEOPLE HOPG TO GET PUBLISHED ON HIS BLOG ALL THE TIME, BUT THAT HE BELIEVED THIS ONE.“I LIKED THIS ONE BEE KD OF SHOWED A PROGRSN HER ATTU THAT SHE WAS VERY HONT ABOUT, THE WAY SHE WAS FEELG BEFORE BEFOREHAND, AND HER BIGOTRY AND HER HATRED. SHE WAS HONT ABOUT HER ANGER AND HOW SHE WAS DRIVG TO HER SON, WHICH TO ME MEANT THAT SHE ACTUALLY GOT .”I ASKED MY IEND JIM (NOT HIS REAL NAME) WHAT HE THOUGHT OF THE POST. HE SHARED MY SKEPTICISM.“IT JT SEEMED TOO EASY,” HE SAID. JIM SHOULD KNOW. HE ENGAGED A -PL BATTLE OF ATTRN, STARTG AT AGE 15 OR SO, TO GET HIS MOTHER TO ACCEPT THAT HE WAS GAY. SHE SIMPLY DIDN’T WANT TO BELIEVE . SHE ONCE SISTED THAT HE HAD TO BE STRAIGHT BEE WHEN HE WAS A BOY, HE HAD GOTTEN TROUBLE FOR CHASG GIRLS AROUND THE PLAYGROUND AND TRYG TO KISS THEIR HAIR.IT WAS ONLY LAST YEAR THAT JIM’S MOM FALLY BEGAN TO ACCEPT THAT HE WAS GAY, AND THAT’S PARTLY WHY HE DOUBTED OPM’S ACUNT.“EVERYTHG JT LED UP TOO PERFECTLY. AND JT SEEMED TO FALL SO NEATLY TO THIS EXPECTED STORY OF REMPTN,” HE SAID. “IF ’S TE, THAT’S AWOME. BUT THIS WOULD BE THE TYPE OF STORY YOU WOULD MAKE UP WERE YOU TRYG TO MAKE UP A STORY. IT’S ALMOST LIKE A LIFETIME MOVIE.”I FALLY ASKED PEARCE POT-BLANK IF HE MA UP THE POST; HE LGHED AND NIED . AND OVER THE PHONE, AT LEAST, HE DID SOUND THOUGHTFUL AND OPEN TO THE DIFFICULT QUTNS. BUT WHATEVER THE EMAIL’S ORIGS, ’S TELLG THAT SO SUCCSFUL A BLOG POST WOULD HAVE SUCH A PELLG WISH-FULFILLMENT PONENT.WE ALL WANT PEOPLE TO BE NVCED OF THE RIGHTNS (AND RIGHTEONS) OF OUR POSNS. THOSE OF WHO SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS WANT TOLERANT PARENTS TO HAVE AN EPIPHANY LIKE OPM CLAIMED TO HAVE, TO LET GO OF THEIR PREJUDIC AND LOVE THEIR SONS AND DGHTERS WHOUT NDN. THGS DON’T GENERALLY WORK LIKE THAT. BUT STILL WE CLG TO THE SORTS OF STORI WHEN WE HEAR THEM, AND ENTHIASTILLY PASS THEM ONTO OUR IENDS WHOUT THKG ABOUT WHETHER THEY’VE LERALLY HAPPENED.MAYBE ’S HARMLS THIS SE. MAYBE OPM’S STORY SHOULD BE SEEN MORE AS A PARABLE, A POSE OF OTHER SUCH STORI, THAN AS ONE PERSON’S ACTUAL EXPERIENCE. AND MAYBE A CLOSETED GAY TEEN SOMEWHERE SAW THIS STORY AND NOW HAS A POTENT PSYCHOLOGIL WEAPON THE BTAL FIGHTS HE OR SHE FAC DAILY.BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE LOSE OUR ABILY (AND PERHAPS OUR SIRE) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN TE STORI AND STORI THAT FEEL TE?IN THE URSE OF REPORTG LAST WEEK ON THE MANY NFLICTG STORI SWIRLG AROUND THE TRAYVON MART SHOOTG, I RECEIVED AN EMAIL OM PRCETON PSYCHOLOGIST DANNY OPPENHEIMER, WHO WROTE, “WHEN TO CIDG WHAT WE BELIEVE IS TE, WHETHER OR NOT ’S ACTUALLY TE ISN’T NEARLY AS IMPORTANT AS WHETHER WE WANT TO BELIEVE .”AND WHEN TO “ONE PROUD MOM” AND HER URAGEO SON, THE TEMPTATN TO BELIEVE IS PRETTY OVERPOWERG. JSE SGAL
• SGLE GAY DADS GIVE TIPS FOR FIRST-TIME PARENTS: ‘I CREATED THE VILLAGE AROUND MYSELF’
• THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
• FAHFUL GAY MORMON
• THE STORY BEHD THE INIC PHOTO OF GAY DADS KISSG

I’M CHRISTIAN, UNLS YOU’RE GAY – SGLE DAD LGHG

People who love themselv no longer see fat or skny, tall or short, fair or dark sk, gay or straight, strong or weak.

To put our arm around someone who is gay, someone who has an addictn, somebody who liv a different liftyle, someone who is not what we thk they should be… dog that has nothg to do wh enablg them or acceptg what they do as okay by . 398 pag, PaperbackFirst published July 5, 2011About the thorDan Pearce is an Amerin-born thor, photographer, and artist, most wily known for his world-popular blog Sgle Dad Lghg, where he wrote and shared ntent for lns of daily subscribers for more than a Pearce's book "The All-Important Well-Fed Giant Whe Man" is a beloved memoir full of life stori and is also the thor of the book The Real Dad Rul which has h #1 Fatherhood on multiple has been featured large publitns and edorial piec and has appeared on natnal and morng televisn programs and natnal rad most notable blog entri clu:16 Ways I Blew My MarriageI'm Christian Unls You're GayThe Disease Called "Perfectn"You jt broke your child.

WHAT’S THE TTH BEHD THE VIRAL POST ABOUT A GAY CHRISTIAN TEEN? NO ONE, SEEMS, KNOWS WHETHER A HEARTWARMG EMAIL ABOUT GAY TOLERANCE IS TE. JSE SGAL ASKS WHETHER MATTERS.JSE SGALUPDATED JUL. 13, 2017 2:01PM EDT / PUBLISHED APR. 06, 2012 4:45AM EDT ON S FACE, THE STORY IS HEARTWARMG AND MEMORABLE: DAN PEARCE, A WELL-KNOWN “DADDY BLOGGER,” POSTED AN ENTRY LAST NOVEMBER TO HIS SE SGLE DAD LGHG TLED “I’M CHRISTIAN, UNLS YOU’RE GAY.” IT WAS HIS LL FOR TOLERANCE BASED ON A NVERSATN HE SAID HE HAD WH HIS 27-YEAR-OLD GAY IEND JAB. THE POST EXPLOD, YIELDG DAZZLG NUMBERS.LAST MONDAY, PEARCE PUBLISHED AN EMAIL HE SAID HE RECEIVED OM SOMEONE LLG HERSELF “ONE PROUD MOM.” HER TEENAGE SON, OPM WROTE, HAD BEEN GIVEN A HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT TO WRE AN SAY RPONSE TO PEARCE’S BLOG POST.OPM’S EMAIL, WHICH PEARCE POSTED UNR THE TLE “A TEEN’S BRAVE RPONSE TO ‘I’M CHRISTIAN, UNLS YOU’RE GAY,’” TOLD A POWERFUL STORY OF A CLOSETED TEENAGER G OUT TO HIS MOTHER. IT QUICKLY WENT MEGA-VIRAL, GARNERG MORE THAN 3,000 MENTS, NEARLY 200,000 FACEBOOK LIK, AND LNS OF HS AS OF THURSDAY AFTERNOON, ACRDG TO PEARCE.THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, NO ONE KNOWS WHETHER THE EMAIL IS REAL. IN , OPM TOLD PEARCE WHAT HAPPENED WH HER SON: “HE ME HOME AND SHOWED ME YOUR ARTICLE AND ASKED ME WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT ,” SHE WROTE. “I READ JT THE TLE AND BEME FUR AT HIS TEACHER AND AT YOU (EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU HAD NOTHG TO DO WH HER HANDG OUT THE ASSIGNMENT). ANYWAY, I NFISTED OM HIM AND TOLD HIM HE WASN’T TO DO ANYTHG WH TILL I HAD A CHANCE TO READ FIRST.”THIS SPAWNED A FIGHT, OPM SAID, AFTER WHICH HER SON STORMED OFF TO A IEND’S HOE, WROTE HIS SAY, AND EMAILED TO HER.SHE PASTED THE SAY TO HER MSAGE TO PEARCE. IT BEGAN: “I AM GAY AND ONLY MY ONE IEND KNOWS SO FAR. MY MOM DON’T KNOW YET. MY DAD DON’T KNOW YET. YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHEN YOU GAVE THIS HOMEWORK. I AM ONLY 15 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALONE. MY MOM AND DAD ALWAYS ARE BEG ANGRY ABOUT GAY PEOPLE AND TALKG ABOUT HOW THEY ARE BAD AND GOG TO HELL AND THEY ALSO ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW ALL THE GAYS SHOULD BE SHIPPED OFF TO THEIR OWN PRIVATE ISLAND OR SOMETHG SO THAT THE RT OF ULD LIVE GOD’S MANDMENTS PEACE.” THE YOUNG MAN THEN WENT ON TO WRE ABOUT THE PAFUL DIFFICULTY OF BEG A GAY TEEN A NSERVATIVE HOEHOLD, AND ABOUT HIS THOUGHTS OF SUICI. HE FISHED WH AN SPIRG EXPRSN OF HOPE FOR ACCEPTANCE AND TOLERANCE: “TONIGHT I AM GOG TO SEND THIS TO MY MOM AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS I GUS. I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN BUT I KNOW THAT I SERVE TO BE LOVED JT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE DO I JT HOPE SHE THKS SO TOO.”OPM READ THE SAY, SHE WROTE TO PEARCE, AND HAD A SUDN CHANGE OF HEART.“I STARTED CRYG AND ULDN’T STOP FOR THE LONGT TIME,” SHE WROTE. “I DON’T KNOW WHY I WAS CRYG EXACTLY, JT SO MANY EMOTNS ME OVER ME. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO RPOND. I FALLY STOPPED AND WENT AND READ YOUR ARTICLE ONCE MORE ONLY THIS TIME I TRIED TO READ THROUGH MY SON’S EY AND THE WHOLE THG WAS SO DIFFERENT THAN WAS A UPLE HOURS BEFORE. BY THE TIME I FISHED I FELT AS BIG AS AN ANT AND I REALIZED JT HOW MUCH HATRED I HAVE MY HEART TOWARD OTHERS.”AND FALLY: “YOU SEE, MR. PEARCE, YOU ARE RIGHT. IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO. IT’S ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT WE ARE LOVG THEM. NOTHG ELSE MATTERS AT ALL. AND TOOK ALL OF THIS FOR THAT TO FALLY SK .”THE POST ROCKETED AROUND THE INTER, PRIMARILY VIA SOCIAL WORKG S AND WRPS PLAC SUCH AS SALON, TOWLEROAD (WHICH LLED A “MT-READ POST”) AND QUEERTY. COMMENTERS RAVED.BUT WHILE I AM SYMPATHETIC TO THE PLIGHT OF CLOSETED GAY TEENS, I HAVE TO ADM THAT I DIDN’T SHARE THE INTER’S ENTHIASM HERE.MY FIRST STCT: BULLSH. THE WHOLE THG JT READ TOO CLEAN, TOO EASY. ARE WE REALLY TO BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN WH EPLY-HELD ULTRA-NSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN BELIEFS (SHE WANTED THE GAYS SHIPPED OFF TO THEIR OWN PRIVATE ISLAND!) FOUND OUT HER SON WAS GAY, READ A SGLE BLOG POST BY A TOLERANT THOR, AND VOILA? IT TOOK HER LS TIME TO SEE THE LIGHT THAN WOULD’VE TO WATCH A UPLE RENS OF “QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY.”PL, THE WRG IS REJECTED-HOLLYWOOD-SCRIPT CHEY—“A CHANGE IS STARTG TO HAPPEN AROUND HERE AND ’S BEE ONE TEENAGE BOY FALLY HAD THE URAGE TO STAND AGAST WHAT HE FELT WAS WRONG.” AND OPM OFTEN ACROSS MORE AS A RITURE OF A RELIG NSERVATIVE THAN AS A REAL ONE. “I GOT MADR AND MADR AS I READ AS I FELT LIKE WAS A DIRECT ATTACK AGAST OUR BELIEFS AND OUR CHRISTIAN RELIGN AND THAT WAS PROMOTG HOMOSEXUALY, A PRACTICE THAT AROUND HERE IS A HUGE ‘S,’” SHE WROTE, BEFORE EXPLAG THAT SHE GAVE HER SON “AN EARFUL ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY AND GOD.”THE SON’S STORY DON’T RG TE EHER: “SO I GOT MADR AND MADR AND MADR [NOTE THE SIAR PHRASG TO OPM’S EMAIL] AND THEN I SNUCK OUT AND ME TO MY IENDS HOE TO WRE THIS SAY BEE S TIME TO STOP LETTG PEOPLE’S HATE STOP ME OM BEG HAPPY. I MEAN SHOULD I REALLY HAVE TO HATE MY LIFE AND WANT TO DIE BEE OTHER PEOPLE ARE SO HATG?”OBVLY, ’S POSSIBLE THIS IS ALL REAL. BUT I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS WONRG ABOUT S THENTICY.I LLED PEARCE AND ASKED HIM TO PUT ME TOUCH WH OPM AND HER SON (ON THE BLOG, THE SON IS REPRENTED BY A STOCK PHOTO OF A BLUE-EYED, SHAGGY-HAIRED TEEN). PEARCE TOLD ME THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE: THE NOTE WAS SENT ANONYMOLY TO HIS BLOG’S NTACT PAGE, AND HE SAID HIS NTACT-FORM SOFTWARE DON’T PTURE IP ADDRS.OKAY, BUT DID HE THK WAS REAL?“I N’T SPEAK TO THE VERACY OF WHAT SHE WROTE,” HE SAID. “YOU KNOW, SEEMED LEG TO ME WHEN I POSTED .”BUT SCE THEN, HE SAID, SOME PEOPLE HAVE POTED OUT TO HIM THAT “THE VOICE OF THE MOM AND THE SON KD OF SEEM THE SAME,” AND HE HAS BEGUN TO HAVE A “LTLE NAGGG DOUBT THAT MAYBE I GOT DUPED.“I JT HAVE NO WAY TO VERIFY, AND IS TRATG TO ME THAT WAS SOME ANONYMO PERSON. BUT I GET A LOT OF ANONYMO EMAILS SO I DIDN’T REALLY THK TWICE ABOUT WHEN I GOT .”STILL, PEARCE SAID, HE’S NOT SURE MATTERS WHETHER OR NOT WAS TE. “I’VE BEEN THKG ABOUT THAT FOR THE PAST UPLE DAYS, YOU KNOW. AND I THK THE MSAGE DON’T MATTER IF ’S TE.” (PAGG MIKE DAISEY!)“OBVLY I DON’T WANT TO POST ANYTHG ON MY BLOG THAT ISN’T TE, AND I WOULDN’T HAVE POSTED ANYTHG HAD I HAD ANY SPICN THAT ’S FALSE,” PEARCE SAID. “THE MSAGE IS TE REGARDLS.”PEARCE SAID HE EQUENTLY GETS EMAILS THAT SEEM MA-UP OM PEOPLE HOPG TO GET PUBLISHED ON HIS BLOG ALL THE TIME, BUT THAT HE BELIEVED THIS ONE.“I LIKED THIS ONE BEE KD OF SHOWED A PROGRSN HER ATTU THAT SHE WAS VERY HONT ABOUT, THE WAY SHE WAS FEELG BEFORE BEFOREHAND, AND HER BIGOTRY AND HER HATRED. SHE WAS HONT ABOUT HER ANGER AND HOW SHE WAS DRIVG TO HER SON, WHICH TO ME MEANT THAT SHE ACTUALLY GOT .”I ASKED MY IEND JIM (NOT HIS REAL NAME) WHAT HE THOUGHT OF THE POST. HE SHARED MY SKEPTICISM.“IT JT SEEMED TOO EASY,” HE SAID. JIM SHOULD KNOW. HE ENGAGED A -PL BATTLE OF ATTRN, STARTG AT AGE 15 OR SO, TO GET HIS MOTHER TO ACCEPT THAT HE WAS GAY. SHE SIMPLY DIDN’T WANT TO BELIEVE . SHE ONCE SISTED THAT HE HAD TO BE STRAIGHT BEE WHEN HE WAS A BOY, HE HAD GOTTEN TROUBLE FOR CHASG GIRLS AROUND THE PLAYGROUND AND TRYG TO KISS THEIR HAIR.IT WAS ONLY LAST YEAR THAT JIM’S MOM FALLY BEGAN TO ACCEPT THAT HE WAS GAY, AND THAT’S PARTLY WHY HE DOUBTED OPM’S ACUNT.“EVERYTHG JT LED UP TOO PERFECTLY. AND JT SEEMED TO FALL SO NEATLY TO THIS EXPECTED STORY OF REMPTN,” HE SAID. “IF ’S TE, THAT’S AWOME. BUT THIS WOULD BE THE TYPE OF STORY YOU WOULD MAKE UP WERE YOU TRYG TO MAKE UP A STORY. IT’S ALMOST LIKE A LIFETIME MOVIE.”I FALLY ASKED PEARCE POT-BLANK IF HE MA UP THE POST; HE LGHED AND NIED . AND OVER THE PHONE, AT LEAST, HE DID SOUND THOUGHTFUL AND OPEN TO THE DIFFICULT QUTNS. BUT WHATEVER THE EMAIL’S ORIGS, ’S TELLG THAT SO SUCCSFUL A BLOG POST WOULD HAVE SUCH A PELLG WISH-FULFILLMENT PONENT.WE ALL WANT PEOPLE TO BE NVCED OF THE RIGHTNS (AND RIGHTEONS) OF OUR POSNS. THOSE OF WHO SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS WANT TOLERANT PARENTS TO HAVE AN EPIPHANY LIKE OPM CLAIMED TO HAVE, TO LET GO OF THEIR PREJUDIC AND LOVE THEIR SONS AND DGHTERS WHOUT NDN. THGS DON’T GENERALLY WORK LIKE THAT. BUT STILL WE CLG TO THE SORTS OF STORI WHEN WE HEAR THEM, AND ENTHIASTILLY PASS THEM ONTO OUR IENDS WHOUT THKG ABOUT WHETHER THEY’VE LERALLY HAPPENED.MAYBE ’S HARMLS THIS SE. MAYBE OPM’S STORY SHOULD BE SEEN MORE AS A PARABLE, A POSE OF OTHER SUCH STORI, THAN AS ONE PERSON’S ACTUAL EXPERIENCE. AND MAYBE A CLOSETED GAY TEEN SOMEWHERE SAW THIS STORY AND NOW HAS A POTENT PSYCHOLOGIL WEAPON THE BTAL FIGHTS HE OR SHE FAC DAILY.BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE LOSE OUR ABILY (AND PERHAPS OUR SIRE) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN TE STORI AND STORI THAT FEEL TE?IN THE URSE OF REPORTG LAST WEEK ON THE MANY NFLICTG STORI SWIRLG AROUND THE TRAYVON MART SHOOTG, I RECEIVED AN EMAIL OM PRCETON PSYCHOLOGIST DANNY OPPENHEIMER, WHO WROTE, “WHEN TO CIDG WHAT WE BELIEVE IS TE, WHETHER OR NOT ’S ACTUALLY TE ISN’T NEARLY AS IMPORTANT AS WHETHER WE WANT TO BELIEVE .”AND WHEN TO “ONE PROUD MOM” AND HER URAGEO SON, THE TEMPTATN TO BELIEVE IS PRETTY OVERPOWERG. JSE SGAL

“I’m Christian, unls you’re gay. In this post, he tells of a gay iend who is stgglg over the backlash he’s received om his iends, fay and the Church. Why do the world know only three ma thgs about Christiany – that we’re judgmental, hypocril and that God hat the gays?

SGLE GAY DADS GIVE TIPS FOR FIRST-TIME PARENTS: ‘I CREATED THE VILLAGE AROUND MYSELF’

On s face, the story is heartwarmg and memorable: Dan Pearce, a well-known “daddy blogger, ” posted an entry last November to his se Sgle Dad Lghg tled “I’m Christian, Unls You’re Gay.

” It was his ll for tolerance based on a nversatn he said he had wh his 27-year-old gay iend Jab. ” Her teenage son, OPM wrote, had been given a homework assignment to wre an say rponse to Pearce’s blog ’s email, which Pearce posted unr the tle “A Teen’s Brave Rponse to ‘I’m Christian, Unls You’re Gay, ’” told a powerful story of a closeted teenager g out to his mother.

It began: “I am gay and only my one iend knows so far. My mom and dad always are beg angry about gay people and talkg about how they are bad and gog to hell and they also always talk about how all the gays should be shipped off to their own private island or somethg so that the rt of uld live God’s mandments peace. ” The young man then went on to wre about the paful difficulty of beg a gay teen a nservative hoehold, and about his thoughts of suici.

THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS

Commenters while I am sympathetic to the plight of closeted gay teens, I have to adm that I didn’t share the Inter’s enthiasm first stct: bullsh. Are we really to believe that a woman wh eply-held ultra-nservative Christian beliefs (she wanted the gays shipped off to their own private island!

) found out her son was gay, read a sgle blog post by a tolerant thor, and voila?

FAHFUL GAY MORMON

“I got madr and madr as I read as I felt like was a direct attack agast our beliefs and our Christian relign and that was promotg homosexualy, a practice that around here is a huge ‘s, ’” she wrote, before explag that she gave her son “an earful about homosexualy and God.

He engaged a -pl battle of attrn, startg at age 15 or so, to get his mother to accept that he was gay. She once sisted that he had to be straight bee when he was a boy, he had gotten trouble for chasg girls around the playground and tryg to kiss their was only last year that Jim’s mom fally began to accept that he was gay, and that’s partly why he doubted OPM’s acunt.

Those of who support gay rights want tolerant parents to have an epiphany like OPM claimed to have, to let go of their prejudic and love their sons and dghters whout ndn.

THE STORY BEHD THE INIC PHOTO OF GAY DADS KISSG

And maybe a closeted gay teen somewhere saw this story and now has a potent psychologil weapon the btal fights he or she fac what happens when we lose our abily (and perhaps our sire) to distguish between te stori and stori that feel te? In fact, gay sgle dads are part of a growg movement that has seen a signifint surge of tert the last few years, as noted by the New York get a more plete picture of the joys of fatherhood, Yahoo Life spoke to four sgle gay dads who prove that love is what tly mak a fay. (urty photo)When Puerto Rin TikTok star José Rolón me out at 18 years old, there were few public exampl of gay fathers.

“But after everythg is said and done, adoptn for gay men is still really difficult.

”Fzpatrick, whose father, a gay Black man, was killed senselsly by gun vlence the parkg lot of a gay bar when Fzpatrick was 18, says that fatherhood gave him unique opportuni to turn his paful past to purpose through the love of his dghter. “I thk that gay parents make the bt parents the world, ” he says. “A lot of gay men, as they get olr, bee lonely.