The Aspect of 'Ex-Gay Therapy' That No One Is Talkg About... and Should Be | HuffPost Voic

Contents:

• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY
• MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE
• WHAT IT’S LIKE TO EXPERIENCE GAY CONVERSN THERAPY
• EXPERIENC OF EX-EX-GAY DIVIDUALS SEXUAL REORIENTATN THERAPY: REASONS FOR SEEKG TREATMENT, PERCEIVED HELPFULNS AND HARMFULNS OF TREATMENT, AND POST-TREATMENT INTIFITN
• THE ASPECT OF 'EX-GAY THERAPY' THAT NO ONE IS TALKG ABOUT... AND SHOULD BE
• EX-GAY THERAPY VIO
• MAKG EX-GAY THERAPY A THG OF THE PAST
• 5 SURPRISG FACTS ABOUT GAY CONVERSN THERAPY

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

It's a movement that's born out of a larger culture of homophobia and transphobia that still persists the majory of Christian church today.

Interview highlights clu extend web-only answers and have been eded for length and clary: Interview Highlights Thomas on how he joed the "ex-gay" movement and Exod Internatnal I was out of the closet the '80s. They also had a group for the gays, and unrneath all of that olns there was this toxic theology that said that you need to overe homosexualy. Stolakis on what the ex-gay and nversn therapy movement looks like today Conversn therapy and the ex-LGBTQ movement has always been practiced lolly.

It's bee very lennial-driven bee there are younger people who've grown up homophobic and transphobic environments who are ready and willg to take the place of people like Randy. But provirs, ually unlicensed, n often disguise the terms they e to avoid beg terms clu:Sexual attractn fluidy exploratn therapy (SAFE-T)Elimatg, rcg, or creasg equency or tensy of unwanted same-sex attractn (SSA)Reparative therapySexual reorientatn effortsEx-gay mistryPromotg healthy sexualyAddrsg sexual addictns and disorrsSexualy unselgEnuragg relatnal and sexual wholensHealg sexual brokennsConversn therapy techniqu n lead to feelg “ls than” or “damaged, ” impactg self-teem.

MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE

A number of medil and mental health anizatns have issued public statements rejectg the e of nversn therapy bee of many provirs who claim to be qualified to provi nversn therapy are often not licensed mental health practners or medil study found that LGBTQ (lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or qutng) people who are rejected or discrimated agast are:8 tim more likely to report havg attempted suiciAlmost 6 tim more likely to report high levels of prsnMore than 3 tim as likely to e illegal dgs3 tim more likely to be at high risk of HIV and other STDsAcrdg to rearch, nearly 700, 000 LGBTQ adults the U. My mom is a problem solver, and the next day she hand me a stack of papers she had prted out om the Inter about reorientatn, or "ex-gay, " therapy. Joseph Nilosi, a clil psychologist California who was then print of the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH), the untry's largt anizatn for practners of ex-gay therapy.

Nilosi's rner office had emerald-green rpet and mahogany bookshelv led wh tl like Homosexualy: A Freedom Too Far and Homosexualy and the Polics of Tth. " Although I might never feel a spark of excement when I saw a woman walkg down the street, as I progrsed therapy, my homosexual attractns would dimish.

Until I had spoken wh Nilosi, I had rigned myself to the ia that, sirable or not, my life would have to acmodate the fact that I was gay. The other men-four or five altogether-were their forti and fifti and talked about their years the "gay liftyle, " which had yield only unhapps.

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO EXPERIENCE GAY CONVERSN THERAPY

They were tired of the club scene, the dg e, the promiscuy; their relatnships didn't last; they plaed that gay culture was youth-obssed. I left the office wh a py of Nilosi's most recent book, Healg Homosexualy, and a worksheet that tegorized different emotns unr the brics of "te self" and "false self.

Another sheet illtrated the "triadic relatnship" that led to homosexualy: a passive, distant father, an overvolved mother, and a sensive child. The woman, Anne Plk, said that moltatn durg adolcence led her to homosexualy, but that she had been healed through the power of J Christ. My mother might not have so easily found rmatn about ex-gay therapy had the Christian right not planted this stake the culture ad appeared 23 years after the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn (APA) classified homosexualy as a mental illns.

A small group of therapists ntued to practice talk therapy that enuraged patients to see homosexualy as a velopmental disorr, but they remaed on the ge until the Christian right took up their e.

EXPERIENC OF EX-EX-GAY DIVIDUALS SEXUAL REORIENTATN THERAPY: REASONS FOR SEEKG TREATMENT, PERCEIVED HELPFULNS AND HARMFULNS OF TREATMENT, AND POST-TREATMENT INTIFITN

Instead of fire-and-brimstone nunciatns om the pulp, the ex-gay movement allowed the Christian right to uch s nmnatn of homosexualy a way that seemed passnate. Foc on the Fay lled s new ex-gay mistry Love Won Out and talked about healg and rg for ex-gay movement turned the rhetoric of gay rights agast self: Shouldn't ex-gays be able to pursue therapy and live the liv they want whout facg discrimatn?

The two largt groups that provi ex-gay unselg are Exod Internatnal, a nonnomatnal Christian anizatn, and NARTH, s secular unterpart. Together wh the late Charl Soris, a psychiatrist who led the opposn to classifyg homosexualy as a mental illns, Nilosi formed NARTH 1992 as a "scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy.

THE ASPECT OF 'EX-GAY THERAPY' THAT NO ONE IS TALKG ABOUT... AND SHOULD BE

Nilosi remas NARTH's most visible are no reliable statistics for how many patients have received ex-gay treatment or how many therapists practice , but the late 1990s and early 2000s, ex-gay therapy enjoyed a legimacy hadn't sce the APA removed homosexualy om s diagnostic manual. Whether or not the Christian right's alliance wh the ex-gay movement had nstuted a D-Day the culture wars, had succsfully challenged the prevailg ia that the bt choice for gay people was to accept themselv. I read one of Nilosi's books, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexualy, that he tri to posn himself as a supportive father figure, typifyg the sort of relatnship that he believ his patients never had wh their own father.

While I still accepted Nilosi's unrlyg theory about why people were gay, I believed that all the talkg the world uldn't change me.

When I left for Yale, my mother sent me off wh a warng: Were she to disver that I had "entered the gay liftyle, " my parents would no longer pay for my tn. Based on 200 terviews wh ex-gay patients-the largt sample amassed-the study did not make any claims about the succs rate of ex-gay therapy. What translated to the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolutn the classifitn and treatment of homosexualy, who uld not be seen as jt another biased ex-gay csar wh an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy.

EX-GAY THERAPY VIO

Participants had been referred to Spzer by ex-gay groups like NARTH and Exod, which had an tert remendg clients who would validate their work. Spzer was drawn to the topic of ex-gay therapy bee was ntroversial-"I was always attracted to ntroversy"-but was troubled by how the study was received. The need for that evince beme more prsg the early 2000s, when a dre of gay-rights bloggers began to sctize the movement, ready to expose any ht of hypocrisy.

Richard Cohen, the founr of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays)-tend as the ex-gay unterpart to PFLAG (Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays)-was expelled om the Amerin Counselg Associatn for ethics vlatns. Michael Johnston, the founr of "Natnal Comg Out of Homosexualy Day, " was revealed to have fected men he'd met on the Inter wh HIV through unprotected sex.

Among them were Alan Downg, the lead therapist of JONAH (Jews Offerg New Alternativ to Homosexualy), who ma his patients strip and touch themselv ont of a mirror; NARTH member Christopher At, who was nvicted of "unlawfully, tentnally and knowgly [g] peratn of" a client; and Exod-affiliated Mike Jon, who asked a patient to take off his shirt and do ph-ups for movement also suffered several high-profile fectns.

MAKG EX-GAY THERAPY A THG OF THE PAST

John Evans, who had found the first ex-gay mistry outsi of San Francis, renounced change therapy when a iend mted suici after failg to bee heterosexual. " In 2007, Exod -founr Michael Bsee apologized for his role startg the as a rponse to the rurgence of ex-gay therapy, mastream profsnal anizatns also took a harr stance.

Judh Glassgold, the chair of the task force that produced the report, said the group found no scientific evince that ex-gay therapy works. " The APA now tells s members they should not engage the the past few years, even Exod has begun to show cracks s support for ex-gay therapy.

The group no longer talks about "Freedom om Homosexualy"-s motto-but about the nobily of ntug to stggle agast same-sex has also begun to distance self om NARTH. When asked about the possibily of gay people changg their sexual orientatn, Chambers-who'd once claimed that he knew of thoands of succs stori-said "99. I beme creasgly prsed but didn't go to mental-health unselg for fear that a well-meang therapist would rm my parents that I was livg the "gay liftyle.

5 SURPRISG FACTS ABOUT GAY CONVERSN THERAPY

But the sprg of my sophomore year, the disparate parts of myself I had managed to hold together-the part of me that thought beg gay was wrong, the part that slept wh men anyway, the part of myself I let the world see, and the part that suffered silence-me undone.