How do you prove you are gay? A culture of disbelief is trmatisg asylum seekers | Debora Sger | The Guardian

Contents:

• AM I GAY OR NOT QUIZ?
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• HOW DO I PROVE I AM NOT GAY?
• AM I GAY?
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• WHY IS SUCH A BIG AL WHEN A GAY PERSON HS ON A STRAIGHT PERSON? WHY N'T WE JT ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE?
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• HOW DO YOU PROVE YOU ARE GAY? A CULTURE OF DISBELIEF IS TRMATISG ASYLUM SEEKERS

AM I GAY OR NOT QUIZ?

Numero scientists, psychologists, healthre profsnals, and even relig activists are batg the nature of homosexualy (as well as other kds of sexualy). In this Am I Gay quiz, we'll try to terme several mon signs of homosexualy and see how many you exhib.

In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight). Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng.

I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg. Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight. Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person.

HOW DO I PROVE I AM NOT GAY?

Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to. Can you sudnly turn to a homosexual (or heterosexual) even if you have never felt or acted that that way?

AM I GAY?

If I get sexual sensatns when viewg sexual material of an oppose orientatn do mean I am gay (or straight)? Avoidg standg close to, touchg or bshg agast members of the same sex (or oppose sex if the sufferer is gay).

Not readg or lookg at vios news reports books or articl havg anythg to do wh gay people or other sexual subjects. Tryg to not look or act effemately (if a man), or a mascule way (if a woman), (or vice versa if the sufferer is gay). Not drsg ways that would make one look effemate (if a man), or mascule (if a woman), (aga vice versa if the sufferer is gay).

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Avoidg associatg wh anyone who may be gay or who seems to lean that directn (if the sufferer is heterosexual). The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight).

Dog a seri of wrg assignments of a uple of pag each that suggt more and more that you actually are gay or wish to be.

Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you). Avoid observg yourself to see if you behaved a way you image a homosexual or member of the oppose sex would. So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.

I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man.

WHY IS SUCH A BIG AL WHEN A GAY PERSON HS ON A STRAIGHT PERSON? WHY N'T WE JT ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE?

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.

Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg. Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such. Havg dulged this non-genr-like or homosexual and lbian ed, and havg no ntrol over such thoughts and eds, this person wants public acceptance of one’s unnatural preference.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Or at the very least this fella seeks to be simply left alone to do whatever the hell he or she want to do one’s sexual, one would or uld be left alone to dulge one’s own sexually oriented crap were not the same gg upon another fellow’s right to oppose opposg the liftyle of the so-lled gay lot hold that the ‘buggers’ are gog agast nature’s diktat. The worked up and vexed opponents of the proponents of a homosexual and a lbian liftyle sist that such an unuth and an uncivilized liftyle has no place a morn, civilized society.

HOW DO YOU PROVE YOU ARE GAY? A CULTURE OF DISBELIEF IS TRMATISG ASYLUM SEEKERS

In short, and acrdg to the anti-gay people, such an aberrant and abhorrent activy creat an extremely dirty, dangero and a damng ms. However, now days any nservative or a ncerned move and opposn to a meanrg homosexual behavur is apt to be quacked about stantly, and that very quickly labelled as homophobic by the gay lobbyists.

No stone is left unturned to purposefully, and a pla but planned manner, name and shame every media possible all those who are opposg the gay liftyle and fact, what was normally and naturally taken by most of the people to be very much a disease and a mental disorr not so long ago, has of late been ncertedly and nveniently self-disvered, and th imposed, to be oh-so-normal and ah-so-natural by some fancied and fund surveys and you, all this is nducted the name of some kd of a psdo-science and popular to be outdone, the homosexual and lbian lot have of late roped even relign and spirualy. By subterfuge and sabotage is th sought to nullify the wrten rerds of the holy books; which by the way, hold an eloquent and an equivol posn absolutely ntrary to the homosexual belief amenable genealogists and bendable TV evangelists too have been brought by the gay muny to by hook or crook jtify the so-lled ‘geilly’ oriented, ‘god-gifted’ gay urse no tradnal relign supports this has not stopped the homosexual sort om brgg God to speak for their lot. A relentls, ongog, and ceasels propagatn and propaganda to make the homosexual, lbian and bisexual behavur seem oh-so-very simply and straightforwardly normal and natural is very visibly out there.