Many parents stggle for years to adjt after learng child is gay, acrdg to a new study om Gee Washgton Universy public health rearchers.
Contents:
- WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
- HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD WHO IS QUTNG OR INTIFI AS LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENR, QUEER OR ASEXUAL (LGBTQA)
- YOUR 9-YEAR-OLD THKS SHE'S GAY
- WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR DGHTER TELLS YOU SHE’S GAY
- HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS
- GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
- MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
- YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
How to talk to your 9 year old dghter who thks she is gay * my 10 year old daughter thinks she is gay *
When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns.
As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups. If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero.
The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG). List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children.
HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD WHO IS QUTNG OR INTIFI AS LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENR, QUEER OR ASEXUAL (LGBTQA)
She jt told me she’s gay. I’ve already talked to her about sex wh boys—how do I talk to her about girls? * my 10 year old daughter thinks she is gay *
Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn). Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc.
Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay. Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child. Fortunate Fai: Catholic fai wh lbian dghters and gay sons.
Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Fai Negotiate Comg Out. Often, the nversatns start after a kid has met someone who intifi as lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer or asexual (LGBTQA).
YOUR 9-YEAR-OLD THKS SHE'S GAY
When a child first out as eher beg gay or havg same-sex attractn their parents' ial rpons are ually the wrong on, says Chris Doyle, a psychotherapist who specializ SSA. * my 10 year old daughter thinks she is gay *
Exampl: lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, asexual, pansexual, and Inty: The genr a person feels they are si. MorePart 1: Talkg to Your Child About What It Means to Intify as Lbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgenr (LGBT).
Your 9-year-old thks she is gay.
— Dodie HofstetterExpert advice"A lot more parents are gog to hear this as we see more openly gay upl our culture and kids meet more fai wh gay parents, " says psychologist Anne Dohrenwend, thor of "Comg Around: Parentg Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr Kids" (New Horizon Prs). "It's possible a 9-year-old girl is simply feelg unfortable around boys and experiencg genue affectn toward her girliends and ncludg, "I'm gay.
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR DGHTER TELLS YOU SHE’S GAY
Gay kids are g out earlier — sometim middle school — and many are fdg acceptance. But some parents and teachers wonr if the kids are too young to really know their sexual orientatn. * my 10 year old daughter thinks she is gay *
" Especially if she knows neighbors, fay iends or relativ who are gay, says may or may not be. "Some people who turn out to be gay say they knew that young. Other people don't know their sexualy until much, much later — gay or straight.
"What do you thk means to be gay? I don’t thk I’m gay, but I’m not sure if I’m straight.
But growg up the mid-’80s suburbs of Dallas, and then San Diego, I also didn’t have a template for such didn’t talk about beg gay my fay, but then, we also didn’t talk about beg straight. This was the Reagan ‘80s: Beg gay wasn’t somethg one felt fortable openly aspirg to, but my hoe at least, wasn’t somethg to be reviled or feared, eher. I’d never met a gay person, that I knew of anyway, except my mother’s hairdrser (everyone’s hairdrser the ‘80s was gay, right?
HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS
Gay inty for me was a plete unknown, sort of like the ast of Italy, the magic and mystery of which I would not disver until years later when I had a took years to adm I didn’t want to be a cheerlear, I wanted to be wh a I started to velop feelgs for girls — well to my late teens — I had no language for what I was experiencg. ) Frhman year, I had a csh on a sophomore cheerlear, and tried out for the squad to be closer to her. Y, her iends intify as bi or pan or mi, some more tradnally gay — some even straight!
GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
She jt told me she’s gay. Sign up to get "Dear Therapist" your Therapist, As a parent, I firmly believe that is my duty to prepare my kids to be posive, healthy, and productive people both the world and personal when my 12-year-old dghter announced that she is gay, my md started spng. When a child first out to their parents as eher beg gay or havg same-sex attractn, their ial rpons are ually the wrong on, says Chris Doyle, a psychotherapist who specializ York Cy gay pri para crowd this undated photo.
"Sce homosexualy is beg more wily accepted Amerin society, an creasg number of teens who experience SSA are intifyg as gay. They believe that if you experience same-sex attractns, then you're gay, " Doyle told the negative rpons parents have, acrdg to Doyle, are avoidg the issue by barrg their child om talkg about SSA or their gay inty; believg that 's a passg phase; or threateng to kick their olr teen or 20-somethg child out of the hoe.
He also emphasized that parents nnot talk their child out of beg gay or havg SSA. "We know, our clil rearch over the last 25 years, that fay culture, environment and other non-blogil factors play a signifint role the velopment of same-sex attractn, " he asserted, addg that parents shouldn't seek therapy as an attempt to change their the book, Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Fay Healg, wrten by Richard Cohen, executive director of IHF, Doyle said 12 prcipl are discsed to help fai navigate through SSA and s . "Regardg sleepovers and big life events such as parents' attendg a child's same-sex weddg ceremony, Doyle suggted that parents treat their homosexual child the same as they would their heterosexual the se of sleepovers, parents should mata the same standards for every child and not allow their gay intified or SSA child to have somone they're attracted to spend the night wh them.
MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
"The same l should apply to heterosexual upl and homosexual upl, " he when down to attendg a child's gay weddg ceremony, Doyle suggted that attendg the ceremony don't necsarily reflect that the parents agree wh same-sex marriage, their prence merely shows their love for their child.
YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
Gay kids are g out earlier — sometim middle school — and many are fdg acceptance. Enuraggly, beg young and openly gay seems to be gettg easier.
Denizet-Lewis wr that when he started workg for the gay men's magaze XY 1998, "we received dozens of letters each week om teenagers the pths of spair. " Three years later, he says, "a new kd of gay adolcent was appearg on the page - proud, rilient, sometim even happy. " He explas, That's not to say that gay teenagers didn't still suffer harassment at school or rejectn at home, but many seemed ls burned wh shame and self-loathg than their olr gay peers.