When Your Child Is Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED
• PASTOR JOHN PAVLOVZ'S BLOG ENTRY 'IF I HAVE GAY CHILDREN, I'LL LOVE THEM' SPARKS DEBATE AMONG CHRISTIANS
• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• A PASTOR'S PROMIS TO HIS KIDS, GAY OR STRAIGHT
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• FORMER CHARLOTTE PASTOR'S 'IF I HAVE GAY CHILDREN' BLOG GO VIRAL
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• LGBTQ+ PARENTS FEAR THEIR CHILDREN WILL HAVE TO HI THEIR FAI AT SCHOOL UNR FLORIDA’S ‘DON’T SAY GAY’ BILL

FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED

But for gay men, this procs is plited and expensive.

PASTOR JOHN PAVLOVZ'S BLOG ENTRY 'IF I HAVE GAY CHILDREN, I'LL LOVE THEM' SPARKS DEBATE AMONG CHRISTIANS

The procs tak about two years and sts around $200, 000 per child - and prospective gay fathers don't meet eligibily creria for most health surance plans' fertily benefs, although this is begng to change. Brent Monsr, MD, recently helped lead a study to document tails of how gay men e assisted reproductive technology to build their fai, cludg qutns such as how many children they wish to have and how often their efforts succeed. As a gay person growg up a nservative environment, this was a challenge I thought about.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

I asked them how I uld start a fay as a gay man.

We don't take re of gay men... Your paper giv historil ntext for how shiftg attus toward LGBTQ fai have changed the climate for gay men who want to bee fathers.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

There has been a lot of foc the scientific lerature on whether children turn out OK if they have gay parents. A gay uple New York State recently sued, sayg those creria are discrimatory.

Why is important for the experienc of gay men seekg fertily re to be reflected the scientific lerature? Cisgenr gay men are almost never clud this rearch, so as physicians we don't know anythg about their characteristics as reproductive health patients, even basic rmatn such as their mographics, clil cisn-makg patterns or out. Our paper ed data om one of the very few fertily benef pani that do offer fertily verage to gay men.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

That gave a wdow to a natnal group of 119 cisgenr men, cludg five sgle men and 57 gay upl, who uniquely had fertily benefs.

It's important to keep md that our data reflect the experienc of dividuals who n afford reproductive medil re bee their employer-sponsored fertily benefs ver , and that is still an unual suatn for gay men. This data served as the foundatn for a grant applitn we've jt had approved to nduct a much larger populatn study that will give accs to rmatn on about 2, 000 embryo transfers annually gay men. A lot of people see a fertily doctor bee they have an unrlyg medil issue, whereas gay male upl ually have two possible sperm sourc, a young egg donor and a gtatnal rrier who has already had succsful pregnanci.

I thk that, bee of the medil factors, birth rat for gay upl uld serve as a morn standard for evaluatg the succs of IVF labs. We regnize that this may be bee a lot of gay men requt tws or may ultimately want two children, and fertily doctors may be transferrg two embryos to try to save their patients money so they only have to go through the fertily treatment procs once.

A PASTOR'S PROMIS TO HIS KIDS, GAY OR STRAIGHT

But we need to ask: Are we puttg gtatnal rriers at unnecsary risk om tw pregnanci, and puttg gay upl at unnecsary risk of havg babi the NICU?

Before I was an OB/GYN, I thought, "This is a health accs issue, and if gay men want tws we should rpect their tonomy.

What do add to have physician-scientists like you, who are gay, answerg rearch qutns about this populatn of prospective parents? I'm currently a fellow, and I have patients g specifilly to see me, not bee I'm the most amazg doctor but bee I'm gay, and they want a gay doctor. But providg support isn't always easy — pecially if you are the parent of a lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr or qutng (LGBTQ) child.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

Advote for a gay-straight alliance (GSA), which has been shown to make schools safer and boost amic performance among LGBTQ stunts.

FORMER CHARLOTTE PASTOR'S 'IF I HAVE GAY CHILDREN' BLOG GO VIRAL

Team up wh a pediatrician, a unselor at school, close fay members and even muny anizatns — for example, Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG) — if you’re havg trouble gog alone. Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbian and Gays (PFLAG).

Pastor John Pavlovz | (Photo: Courty John Pavlovz)Pastor John Pavlovz recently ed a stir wh a blog post entled "If I Have Gay Children: Four Promis From a Christian Pastor/Parent, " which he issued statements of support for his two children should they be homosexual. Pavlovz's four promis are the followg: "If I have gay children, you'll all know . If I have gay children, I'll pray for them, I'll love them, and if I have gay children, most likely; I have gay children.

Parents of gay children may be shocked when their kids e out of the closet, but once the dt settl, most parents realize that their child is the same one they have loved and red for all their liv, they jt happen to be gay. And while parental acceptance is one hurdle for a gay child, there are many other issu facg gay kids and their parents.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

Issu for parents of gay kids as intified by Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG), clu:1. Fay acceptance – n the rt of the fay accept the gay child as the parents of the gay child has.

LGBTQ+ PARENTS FEAR THEIR CHILDREN WILL HAVE TO HI THEIR FAI AT SCHOOL UNR FLORIDA’S ‘DON’T SAY GAY’ BILL

Hate crim preventn – workg to prevent gay bashg and other forms of hate crim agast gay kids. Health – addrsg the health ncerns of gay kids as they e to adulthood.

Relatnship regnn – workg to achieve equal rights and regnn for gay relatnships as for heterosexual relatnships. Safe schools – parents of gay children ensurg a safe learng environment. Workplace fairns – supportg the gay child and any issu they face when enterg the workforce.

Parentg a Gay Child – Signs of a Gay Child. Sometim, long before a child out as gay, a parent spects that a child might be gay. It may be that the child bucks tradnal genr stereotyp or they may not show attentn to the oppose sex; but are the signs of a gay child?