How do queer men navigate an stutn not signed for them? Therapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers clu his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. Check out an exclive excerpt below.
Contents:
- A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
- NEGOTIATG GAY MEN'S RELATNSHIPS: HOW ARE MONOGAMY AND NON-MONOGAMY EXPERIENCED AND PRACTISED OVER TIME?
- GAY MEN AND MONOGAMY: DO WORK?
A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
A nversatn about open and monogamo marriage, for gay men and for all. * gay monogamy vs open relationship *
I had the opportuny to talk wh psychotherapist and thor Michael Dale Kimmel about his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage.
MOC: Tell me about The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. MDK: I began offerg workshops for gay, bisexual, and transgenr men about eighteen years’ ago, and after a uple of years there were always a few guys who me up to me and said ( whispered ton), “You’ve got to put this stuff a book.
NEGOTIATG GAY MEN'S RELATNSHIPS: HOW ARE MONOGAMY AND NON-MONOGAMY EXPERIENCED AND PRACTISED OVER TIME?
As assiatn to more mastream culture creas, many gay men are shiftg their attus on non-tradnal relatnships—beg ls acceptg of them. * gay monogamy vs open relationship *
While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay weddg, there were virtually none that addrs what to do after the honeymoon is over (lerally and figuratively).
” — regard to gay marriage — to be ntroversial. The Gay Man’s Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage dar to ask the qutn: is monogamy or an open relatnship (or a batn of both) the bt way to stcture your marriage? Same-sex marriage has been a long time g – a few thoand years or so - and now that ’s fally here, many gay, bisexual and transgenr men may thk that ’s a bad ia to “rock the boat” by discsg the kds of ias that this book prents.
I believe that now is the perfect time to qutn what gay marriage n, should and will be, while is still relatively new, h and malleable. MDK: I have been givg workshops on “monogamy or open relatnship” for many years, long before gay marriage was legal.
GAY MEN AND MONOGAMY: DO WORK?
* gay monogamy vs open relationship *
While marriage wasn’t a possibily then, the qutns those workshops were basilly the same as those this book: as gay men, do we choose the monogamy of heterosexual marriage as our mol, or do we prefer an open marriage? And yet, most gay marriag emulate whout much thought, assumg that ’s the “right” way to be married.
Lookg for support wh gay open relatnships or monogamy? Our LGBTQ therapists are nonjudgmental about whatever relatnship stcture you choose. * gay monogamy vs open relationship *
As a psychotherapist for gay upl for many years’ now, ’s been que clear to me that “handbooks” for heterosexual marriage don’t really apply to our marriag several signifint ways: our marriag are more “signed” than “assumed. As gay men, we are ed to fg our own paths and fg our relatnships on our own terms. And yet, when I work wh young gay (and bi, straight and trans) men, I see a sea change ahead.
When viewed over time, many gay men's relatnships are not static, or firmly fixed to monogamy or non-monogamy. This paper -pth terviews wh 61 Atralian gay men to explore how monogamy and non-monogamy are experienced over time, expectatns of what nstut the norms regardg gay … * gay monogamy vs open relationship *
I wrote the chapter about “refg genr rol, " bee we have an amazg opportuny as married gay men to terme who we are as two men, married to each other. MDK: As gay people, we n create new stctur and paradigms that serve not only , but all people. This book enurag everyone, not jt gay men, to take a good look at that formidable stutn and beg to ask some big, meangful qutns, like:.
The are not jt qutns for gay upl, they are qutns for all upl: my polyamoro straight clients are alg wh the very same stuff.