Your Child Jt Told You He's Gay. Now What? | Psychology Today

when you find out your son is gay

Many parents stggle for years to adjt after learng child is gay, acrdg to a new study om Gee Washgton Universy public health rearchers.

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YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

Be supportive to keep your relatnship tact when you fd out your kid is gay. Forty percent of LGBT adults say they face rejectn when they me out. * when you find out your son is gay *

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart.

I had spected at tim that he was gay.

Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

WHEN YOU FD OUT YOUR CHILD IS GAY

As a parent, you probably want what's bt for your child no matter what. But if your child out as gay, lbian, or bisexual, might e as a shock—many parents feel unprepared, upset, or even a ltle nfed. By learng a... * when you find out your son is gay *

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok. Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace. " How do they pict gay people?

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

There's a new Android app out (here's the English versn) lled "Is My Son Gay?" which one n answer an easy seri of qutns ("Are you divorced?") that will tell you if, fact, your son is a gay person. * when you find out your son is gay *

React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn.

In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay. For straight parents, havg a child reveal that he is gay n be a jolt. You might ask how long he or she has known, and why he feels he is gay, bi, or trans, suggts Jonathan Tobk, M.

D., a psychiatrist private practice New York Cy and the -thor of When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need to Know. You n fd one through the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL

Fdg out your child is gay n lead to a flood of emotns. Yet, the first five mut of your rponse are cril to your child. Learn what to do. * when you find out your son is gay *

Take the extra step and show your child that you are terted beg the parent of a gay child. Edute yourself on what means to be gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr. PFLAG, or Parents for Lbians and Gays, which now has a group for transgenr youth, and holds natnwi chapters and meetgs;.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY

* when you find out your son is gay *

"I love you, and I am here for you" is what your child needs to hear when announcg they are gay. Even wh social chang such as the Marriage Equaly Act and greater acceptance of gay rights, g out is still a trmatic event for some people, says McElroy, who works wh gay youths at the health center. But many gay advot suggt that even if parents are acceptg, they should never ask pot-blank about sexual orientatn.

Based on their experienc, Rso and Dannielle Owens-Reid 2010 started a support anizatn for young adults lled Everyone Is Gay. Fdg that parents are often nfed, the pair thored This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids and created an "e-re package" for parents plete wh answers to mon qutns, lks to rourc, journalg pag and a playlist.

"I love you, and I am here for you" is what your child needs to hear when announcg they are gay, Rso says. When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns. As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child.

THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

One day, you may hear a remark that mak you wonr if one of your relativ is gay, though the subject has never e up. Though 's not always obv, if you watch a person and the people they spend time wh, there may be some clu... * when you find out your son is gay *

Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups. If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero.

5 POWERFUL THGS YOU CAN DO IF YOUR CHILD TELLS YOU, "I'M GAY."

The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG).

List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children.

Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn). Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay. Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child. Fortunate Fai: Catholic fai wh lbian dghters and gay sons.

Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Fai Negotiate Comg Out. But if your child out as gay, lbian, or bisexual, might e as a shock—many parents feel unprepared, upset, or even a ltle nfed. Bisexual people often hear that their sexualy is “jt a phase,” and that they’ll eventually be eher straight or gay.

HOW TO FD OUT IF A FAY MEMBER IS GAY

Try lookg at s like Advot for Youth, The Fay Acceptance Project, and Parents, Fai, Friends, and Alli of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG).

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

At what age would a child know for sure she's homosexual?

If your child says she's homosexual, regardls of her age, be acceptg and show love and support.

Article SummaryXTo accept that your child is homosexual or bisexual, the first and most important thg is to make sure your child knows that you love them. For more rmatn on how to talk your child after learng they are homosexual or bisexual, see below.

EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAY

Bisexual people often hear that their sexualy is “jt a phase, ” and that they’ll eventually be eher straight or gay. If you jt have a feelg that your brother is gay, that's okay.

If you thk your brother is gay bee he watch a "girly" TV show or his voice sounds a certa way, that's relyg on stereotyp. If you live a particularly homophobic or transphobic area, discs safety plans wh the fay member se of vlence om others. If your fay member has e out as gay or bisexual, accept that they will end up seeg someone of their own genr, and that's perfectly okay.

Don't be aaid to rearch beg gay, bisexual, transgenr, asexual, or whatever your fay member me out as.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* WHEN YOU FIND OUT YOUR SON IS GAY

How To Tell If Your Son Is Gay .

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