What It's Like to Be Young and Gay Sgapore

Contents:

• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• AM I GAY?
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• WHAT ’S REALLY LIKE TO GROW UP GAY
• WHAT DO LOOK LIKE TO BE GAY – AND A PRACTICG CATHOLIC?
• WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE YOUNG AND GAY SGAPORE
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

Ahead of the Internatnal day agast homophobia and transphobia on 17 May, we asked our rears what 's like to be LGBT their than 100 submissns were sent via GuardianWns om all over the world.

Even some more nservative regns homosexual act between teenage boys is seen as the 'safer' way of explorg sexualy; so long they get married at their adulthood, no one r 's a closet! But the moment an onle news portal tagged this as 'pri rally by homosexuals' and Roopbaan as s aniser, the public reactn went thgs are changg; very slowly but steadily. Photograph: JOERG CARSTENSEN/EPA Photograph: JOERG CARSTENSEN/EPAPenal § 175, outlawg gay sex, was of urse abolished s ago, we have openly gay foreign misters and other openly lbian and gay policians - and 's been legal now to "marry" your partner by mtg to a civil unn (whout some rights like the right to adoptn as a uple etc.

But recent homophobic attacks agast Ban-Württemberg's proposed new school curriculum that clus the teachg of sexual diversy shows there's lots of rentment unr the urse, pared to havg to fear for one's personal safety on a daily basis, thgs Germany are pretty good. And 's not jt annoyg but sad that smaller German towns, gays and lbians are practilly visible and are too aaid to be regnised by neighbours or boss to jo a gay para, if there is one the first place. The major opposn to homosexualy (and lbians particular) is not so much that is seen as `wrong` or `sful` - Japan is a very secular untry as a general le- and more that is jt `different`.

AM I GAY?

Any liftyle which shows potential viatn om that strict mol is owned upon- and no-one nsirs that gay people may aspire to this very mol of matrimony and normalacy.

Northern IrelandI grew up a very homophobic atmosphere Northern Ireland, regular bullyg, homophobic language and vlence and no posive gay role mols, gay life was hidn and not discsed. My experience is that day to day, and as dividuals most Northern Irish people aren't homophobic anymore but lags behd the rt of the UK laws and the polil culture is far om other parts of the world affected by polil homophobia there is a strong lk to nservative relig groups and tribal policians, who fight any posive move ma for gay people as a way of motivatg their re vot and followers. Mexi Cy is the pal of gay culture Mexc, attractg LGBT people om other parts of Mexi and Lat is a generatnal problem that I have seen, regardg beg "out".

There is still a very lively gay scene, but when you venture to different bars there are many plac where everyone is mixg, and not even nsirg sexualy as an thg that has advanced life for LGBT people Mexi Cy was the passg of laws to legalise gay marriage. And there are proud gay people walkg hand hand even when sufferg om the necsy of hidg the closet and secretly planng an immigratn to some more tolerant and happy place.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

It prumably means the advertiser nsirs himself a “real” man—real, that is, acrdg to a standard of masculy he don’t attribute to other gay men. So many gay men learn we are different om other boys by havg the fact poted out and ridiculed by bulli durg our young, most imprsnable, years. As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard.

How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy? Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected. Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds.

The late Harry Hay often lled "the father of the morn gay movement, " found the Mattache Society Los Angel the fall of 1950 for gay men to gather and ponr the qutns Hay had long been askg: Who are gay people? Hay didn’t tend the Mattach to be a polil anizatn per se, but a group that would e together to enhance their self-unrstandg and explore the ntributns gay people had ma to the human race through the ag.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

In a 1987 say tled “A Separate People Whose Time Has Come, ” Hay scribed homosexuals as “spir people, ” who, throughout the ag, had served society their rol as “msengers and tercers, shamans of both genrs, prits and prits, imagemakers and prophets, mim and rhapsos, poets and playwrights, healers and nurturers, teachers and preachers, tkers and tkerers, searchers and rearchers. Hay believed that gay people had somethg special to teach nongay people about human life, and for that reason should be nurtured, rather than reviled, by society. He said gay men look at the world differently, are uniquely nonaggrsive, nonpetive, oriented toward sharg and cled to velop what Hay lled “subject-subject” love relatnships of equals.

In a 1990 terview for the Washgton Bla, Harry Hay told me our llg as gay men “is not only to accept our uniquens, but to affirm , make joyo. Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr. That means, for example, that you n be transgenr but also straight (for stance, you might intify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (e.

WHAT ’S REALLY LIKE TO GROW UP GAY

If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed. You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change. I me out at a nservative Christian llege the US and was a gay relatnship for around two years wh a basketball player who end up marryg a woman.

WHAT DO LOOK LIKE TO BE GAY – AND A PRACTICG CATHOLIC?

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup. Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy. ”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns. “Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy.

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE YOUNG AND GAY SGAPORE

” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame. ”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. Patrick Grzanka, Assistant Profsor of Psychology at Universy of Tennsee, for stance, has shown that some people who believe that homosexualy is nate still hold negative views of gays.

In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance. “It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists. Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins.

And when I published my say on choosg to be gay, an irate Amerin lbian activist wrote me that had “jt been nfirmed” to her that my wrg was “directly rponsible for four gay aths Rsia. There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure.