The New Gay Teenager — Rch C. Sav-Williams | Harvard Universy Prs

how to raise a gay teenager

Life for gay teens has changed, but advice books for parents have lagged behd – until now. Zoe Schlanger meets the thors of a manual that even 'ol' parents should read

Contents:

COMG OUT: A PARENTS GUI TO SUPPORTG YOUR GAY TEEN

"Mom, Dad, I'm gay!" Your brave, wonrful, betiful child has spoken the words out loud that somewhere the back of your md you already spected. This moment of honty is the begng of a journey that n be challengg for both you and your child. * how to raise a gay teenager *

But providg support isn't always easy — pecially if you are the parent of a lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr or qutng (LGBTQ) child. Advote for a gay-straight alliance (GSA), which has been shown to make schools safer and boost amic performance among LGBTQ stunts. Team up wh a pediatrician, a unselor at school, close fay members and even muny anizatns — for example, Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG) — if you’re havg trouble gog alone.

Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbian and Gays (PFLAG). It’s no different for parents of LGBTQ (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, and Queer) children.

And fay rejectn has a ser impact on a gay or transgenr young person’s risk for health and mental health problems. "I enurage parents to not assume that [they] know what LGBTQ youth are experiencg, " Kirk Shepard, a licensed profsnal unselor Portland, Oregon, told NBC OUT regardg the 2016 attack where an assailant killed 49 people a gay nightclub Orlando, Florida, and jured many more. Acrdg to the Centers for Disease Control and Preventn’s Youth Risk Behavr Survey, bisexual people promised 75% of young people1 who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual.

HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR GAY CHILD

Advice for parents wh LGBTQ kids to help support and show them love. What to do when your kids e out to you as lbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer. * how to raise a gay teenager *

This is ntrast to monosexualy, which is fed as inti volvg attractn to people of a sgle genr, such as exclively gay or straight inti. While all LGBTQ young people are at a higher risk of experiencg negative mental health out than their heterosexual and cisgenr peers, ’s worth notg that bisexual youth statistilly face more challeng than lbian and gay youth as well.

”Gatekeepg who is “really” bi, straight, or gay, based on who they’ve been relatnships wh or are currently datg. Acceptance of a bi person only when they are a relatnship wh a person of the same genr, as when peers the queer muny only enurage a bi person to engage relatnships wh people who intify as lbian or gay. This clus the false belief that bi people are valued ls than their heterosexual, lbian, or gay peers, or that beg bisexual is somethg to be ashamed of or to hi.

Given wispread homophobia, there is often social prsure for bi people to not intify wh the bisexual spectm and stead reject labels altogether. Assumg that two people of the same genr datg means they are gay, or two people of different genrs datg are straight. If you assume that a person is gay or straight based on their current relatnship, work to reame your unrstandg that the people that relatnship uld be of any genr or sexual people for their word if they share a multisexual inty wh and uplift the bisexual people your you see or hear an example of biphobia or bi-erasure, addrs by sharg that bisexualy is real and valid, as well as rourc to learn more about bi inti.

PARENTG GAY TEENS: THE BOOK THAT ALL PARENTS NEED TO READ

* how to raise a gay teenager *

Bisexual men are often validated for their sexual orientatn, bee of the stigma that for men, any attractn to people outsi of women is terpreted and labeled as gay.

WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT GAY TEENAGERS

Gay, straight, bisexual: how much do sexual orientatn matter to a teenager's mental health or sense of inty? In this down-to-earth book, filled wh the voic of young people speakg for themselv, Rch Sav-Williams argu that the standard image of gay youth prented by mental health rearchers -- as prsed, isolated, dg-pennt, even suicidal -- may have been exaggerated even twenty years ago, and is far om accurate today. * how to raise a gay teenager *

Acrdg to our analysis of data om the Centers for Disease Control and Preventn’s Youth Risk Behavr Survey, 21% of bi youth3 (24% female and 8% male) reported havg been forced to have sexual terurse, pared to 16% gay and lbian and 5% of heterosexual youth. Dismiss your bisexualy as a fun of your your bisexual inty to claim that you nnot be tsted or to acce you of overly jealo of people of different genrs your you to intify as eher gay or straight. In our town, we are the gay "go-to" people — pecially for parents and grandparents of gay kids.

THE NEW GAY TEENAGER

" Beg openly gay may be the most urageo choice your son, dghter, grandson or granddghter will ever make. "I don't know how to tell iends and fay about my gay kid or grandkid.

Wh more people livg openly, seems that nearly everyone knows someone gay. Nearly everyone knows and lik/lov someone gay. "Now that I know my kid is gay, I'm ncerned about same-sex sleepovers.

" If the ia of your dghter sleepg wh her boyiend unr your own roof at the age of 16 sets off every bad parentg bell the universe for you, hold your gay son or dghter to the same standards. We're sure he would e out if only he didn't thk his mom hadn't already submted her résumé for an open posn at PFLAG, which stands for Parents, Fay & Friends of Lbians and Gays. "I was jt settlg to the gay thg and now she tells me she lik a boy.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* HOW TO RAISE A GAY TEENAGER

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