When Your Spoe Com Out As Gay

Contents:

• CHRISTIAN BLOGGER GLENNON DOYLE MELTON COM OUT AS GAY, REVEALS SHE'S DATG SOCCER STAR ABBY WAMBACH
• CHRISTIAN MOM GLENNON DOYLE PREACH SEXUALY BEYOND ‘GAY’ AND ‘STRAIGHT’ AT NSERVATIVE MEGACHURCH
• WHEN YOUR SPOE OUT AS GAY
• DISCERNMENT CASE POT: GLENNON DOYLE MELTON OUT AS GAY
• GLENNON DOYLE AND ABBY WAMBACH WANT YOU TO KNOW WE CAN STILL DO HARD THGSTHE UPLE ON THEIR PODST’S ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY, TELLG THE TTH, AND TAKG UNTAMED’S QUEER LOVE STORY TO THE SMALL SCREEN.BY ABIGAIL GLASGOWMAY 11, 2022BY MELISSA LYTTLE. SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVESTG DOWN WH GLENNON DOYLE AND ABBY WAMBACH FEELS LIKE TAKG A EP BREATH. WHETHER THEY’RE DISCSG THE TENTNAL, POLILLY DRIVEN SIGN OF SEPARATG QUEER EXISTENCE OM FAH OR REFLECTG ON THE “RADIL” ACT OF TRANSPARENCY THAT ALONG WH DISCSG MENTAL HEALTH, THE TWO—BOTH AS A UPLE AND AS DIVIDUALS—ARE VOTED TO NDID, LLECTIVE, AND JT STORYTELLG. WEDNDAY MARKS ONE YEAR SCE THAT VOTN FUELED THE LNCH OF THEIR PODST, WE CAN DO HARD THGS. IN , DOYLE, WAMBACH, AND DOYLE’S SISTER AMANDA (KNOWN AS “SISTER”) BRG ON GUTS LIKE ALOK, CHANEL MILLER, MEGAN RAPOE, GABRIELLE UNN, AND TARANA BURKE TO TACKLE STORI OF INTY, ACTIVISM, SEX, NAVIGATG TRMA, AND EVERYTHG BETWEEN.VANY FAIR CHATTED WH THE DUO ABOUT THE SHOW’S EVOLUTN, VULNERABILY, AND SYSTEMIC OPPRSN. THEY ALSO GIVE A GLIMPSE AT ONE OF THEIR UPG PROJECTS: THE TV ADAPTATN OF DOYLE’S NOVEL UNTAMED.VANY FAIR: IT’S BEEN A YEAR SCE YOU LNCHED YOUR PODST, WE CAN DO HARD THGS. HOW DO YOU FEEL?GLENNON DOYLE: I FEEL REALLY GRATEFUL. I N’T BELIEVE I GET TO DO THIS WH MY SISTER AND MY WIFE, MY TWO FAVORE PEOPLE ON EARTH; OM MY UCH, MY FAVORE PLACE ON EARTH; DOG MY FAVORE THG, EXPLORG IAS AND BEG A BRIDGE BETWEEN TERTG HUMAN BEGS AND MY MUNY. IT’S A LOT OF EAKG WORK AND I TAKE REALLY SERLY, BEE ’S A BIG HONOR AND PRIVILEGE TO TELL THE PEOPLE’S STORI. I’VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. I HAVE ONLY MSED WH MYSELF, SO FEELS HEAVY SOMETIM.ABBY WAMBACH: YOU KNOW, I WAS SO NERVO ABOUT RETIRG OM SOCCER. THERE WAS SO MUCH PURPOSE SI WHAT I WAS DOG. IT WASN’T JT ABOUT ME, WAS ABOUT THAT LTLE GIRL OR BOY THE STANDS. WE WERE ACTIVISTS WHO DIDN’T NECSARILY KNOW ALL THE TIME. WE WERE PLAYG SPORTS, BUT REALLY WHAT WE WERE DOG WAS REVOLUTNARY MANY WAYS. I DIDN’T KNOW IF I WAS EVER GOG TO BE ABLE TO REPLITE THAT FEELG OF PURPOSE FOR THE RT OF MY WORKG LIFE—OBVLY HAVG A FAY AND BEG A WIFE HAS S OWN SENSE OF PURPOSE. THIS YEAR HAS MA ME UNRSTAND THAT WHAT I DID ON THE SOCCER FIELD GAVE ME A PLATFORM TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS WORK.DOYLE: ALSO, WRG A BOOK IS VERY LONELY FOR ME. IT’S DISAPPEARG OM MY LIFE. AND I FALLY LOVE MY LIFE. WRG ANOTHER BOOK DID NOT FEEL LIKE WHAT I WANTED TO DO, AND SOCIAL MEDIA SURE DIDN’T [EHER]. THIS WAS TWO YEARS AGO. IT WAS A SER TIME OUR UNTRY. WE NEED NUANCED, -PTH NVERSATNS. WE NEED ANOTHER MEDIUM WHERE WE ULD HAVE MORE GRAY FIXATNS AND MORE IMMEDIATE NVERSATNS.AND HOW DO YOU CI WHICH STORI TO TELL?DOYLE: IN THE VERY BEGNG, WE ASKED OUR MUNY—WE LL THEM THE POD SQUAD—WHO DO YOU WANT TO HEAR OM? I THK WE HAD 13,000 PEOPLE ON A SPREADSHEET OM 17,000 MENTS. WE HAD A TREASURE TROVE OF PEOPLE—OM PEOPLE WH 10 LN FOLLOWERS TO BRILLIANT MDS WH SIX. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW WE DO , THERE’S A LOT OF WEEPG AND GNASHG OF TEETH. I S WH [EACH TERVIEWEE]. I HAVE DAYS WHERE I’M LIKE, OKAY, TODAY’S THE DAY I GET TO THK ABOUT CHANEL MILLER—READG EVERYTHG SHE’S EVER SAID, GOG FOR A WALK AND ONLY THKG ABOUT HER. I FEEL LIKE I’M SPENDG A WEEK WH EACH PERSON.WAMBACH: I’LL WALK TO THE ROOM AND SHE’LL BE READG SOMEONE’S BOOK AND I’M LIKE, “WHAT ARE YOU DOG?” AND SHE’LL GO, “OH, I’M JT HANGG OUT WH SO-AND-SO.”THE PODST STRIK A BALANCE OF BEG CREDIBLY VULNERABLE, NDID, AND TIMATE ON A VERY PUBLIC PLATFORM. HOW DO YOU EXIST WH THAT FE LE?DOYLE: IT WOULD FEEL DIFFICULT IF THAT’S NOT HOW [OUR PLATFORM] WAS BUILT. BUT I STARTED WRG RIGHT WHEN I GOT SOBER AFTER BEG LOST TO FOOD AND ALHOL ADDICTN FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I FOUND THE MAGIC OF REVERY: WE DON’T HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF ANYTHG. WE N TALK ABOUT ALL OF OUR HARD THGS. WE LIVE SERVICE OF OTHERS. THAT WAS HOW I BUILT RELATNSHIPS AND A REER.WAMBACH: IT’S ONE OF THE THGS THAT WAS SUCH A DRAW, FOR ME, TO YOU. I ME OM A WORLD OF WOMEN’S SOCCER. I HAD A B OF FAME, BUT I DIDN’T REALLY TELL THE WORLD WHO I WAS, WHICH WAS THE DOWNFALL MY ADDICTN TO ALHOL. WHEN I MET [GLENNON], I LEARNED THAT I ACTUALLY JT NEED TO BE HONT ABOUT SOBRIETY. THAT’S ; THAT’S ALL I NEED TO BE. AND ON THE PODST, ’S STILL A LTLE NERVE-RACKG WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO DIVULGE PERSONAL RMATN PUBLICLY.ONE TIME, I WAS GOG TO TALK ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE OF WALKG TO PUBLIC RTROOMS AND GETTG MISTAKEN FOR A MAN—WHICH HAPPENS ABOUT 95% OF THE TIME. I FELT LIKE SHARG WOULD HAVE BEEN EMBARRASSG, BEE ’S EMBARRASSG THE MOMENT. BUT THE RPONSE THAT I GOT OM PEOPLE WHO PRENT LIKE ME, THAT HAVE HAD THIS EXACT EXPERIENCE, HAS MA MY EXPERIENCE WALKG TO PUBLIC RTROOMS PLETELY DIFFERENT.YOU KNOW, I LOST MY FATHER TO SUICI. AND HE WAS ALSO UNFAHFUL MY PARENTS’ MARRIAGE. AND I AM VOL ABOUT , BUT OTHER PEOPLE SORT OF TRIP OVER THEIR WORDS WHEN I BRG UP. BUT TIPTOEG OVER YOUR OWN EXPERIENC, THAT IS MORE TERRIFYG.MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYRILEY KEOUGH ON GROWG UP PRLEY, LOSG LISA MARIE, AND INHERG GRACELANDBY BRT HENNEMUTHTHE TV MOVIE IS MAKG A WEIRD, WONRFUL COMEBACKBY DAVID CANFIELDWAMBACH: AND YOU’RE BRGG SOMETHG THAT HAS FELT LIKE ’S BEEN THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT BY TALKG ABOUT WH NO SHAME.IN THAT VE, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE CIRCULATN OF UNTAMED. HOW DO FEEL TO HEAR THAT YOUR STORY HAS BEE A WAY FOR FOLKS TO SHARE THEIR OWN STORI?DOYLE: I THK THAT WOULD BE SRY AS HELL IF I DIDN’T TLY KNOW THAT NONE OF THAT IS ACTUALLY ABOUT ME, BUT IS THE POWER THAT HAPPENS WHEN ANYBODY TELLS THE TTH ABOUT THEIR LIFE. WHEN I STARTED REVERY, I WAS PROPOSED THIS THEORY THAT IF YOU JT TELL THE TTH, YOU WILL FD MORE NNECTN WH OTHER HUMAN BEGS, YOU WILL FEEL EER—BEE YOU WON’T BE RRYG SHAME. AND THEN I GOT TO TT THE THEORY SUCH A MAGNIFIED WAY.WHAT I REALLY BELIEVE ABOUT EEDOM—WHICH IS WHY ’S BEG SO HEAVILY OPPOSED RIGHT NOW ON SO MANY LEVELS—IS THAT ’S WILDLY NTAG. WHEN PEOPLE HAND UNTAMED TO EACH OTHER, FEELS TO ME LIKE WHAT THEY’RE SAYG IS, “I’M TRYG TO GIVE YOU A LTLE B OF EEDOM.”AND I KNOW THAT DON’T HAVE TO DO WH ME PERSONALLY BEE THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE PASSG TO EACH OTHER WHO AREN’T QUEER. AND [UNTAMED] IS A QUEER LOVE STORY—NOT JT ROMANTILLY, EHER. IT’S ABOUT QUEER FAH. IT’S ABOUT QUEER GENR. I THK PEOPLE ARE JT TRYG TO PASS THE BATON.SCE ’S THE SEASON OF MOTHER’S DAY, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT MOTHERHOOD MEANS FOR YOU BOTH.DOYLE: I DON’T EVEN THK OF THE WORD MOTHER AS A NOUN ANYMORE. IT’S A VERB. LIZ GILBERT, TRACEE ELLIS ROSS, OPRAH—THE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE CID NOT TO HAVE BLOGIL CHILDREN BUT MOTHER AND THE WORLD BETTER THAN ANYBODY. THE ACTIVISTS OUR LIV ARE PROBABLY THE FIERCT MOTHERS THAT WE KNOW. WHICH IS HOW MOTHER’S DAY STARTED—AS A DAY TO ACTIVATE MUNI. THERE IS A WAY OF THKG ABOUT MOTHERG THAT, SOME WAYS, IS AT THE ROOT OF A LOT OF OUR UNTRY’S CHALLENG. WHICH IS WHAT I WROTE ABOUT UNTAMED. THERE’S THIS IA THAT MY JOB AS A MOTHER IS TO PROTECT MY PARTICULAR CHILD—GIVE THEM SIX IPADS, SEVEN FLAVORS OF CREAM CHEE. BUT WHAT IF WE MAKE OUR MOTHERG LENS A LOT WIR AND NSIR THAT ALL CHILDREN ARE OUR CHILDREN? WHAT WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE?WAMBACH: WE BOTH E AT MOTHERHOOD OM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, [GLENNON’S] BEG THE BLOGIL ROUTE AND ME AS A BON PARENT. EARLY ON OUR RELATNSHIP AND MARRIAGE, I WAS NSIRG HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD OF MY OWN. AS TIME WENT ON, I REALIZED THAT THE THREE CHILDREN WERE ENOUGH FOR ME. I DIDN’T NEED TO DO MYSELF ORR TO FEEL LIKE A MOTHER. I’VE BEEN ABLE TO UNRSTAND BON MOTHERHOOD MANY WAYS AS THE MOST SELFLS, LOVG EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. I’M MARRIED TO THE CHILDREN’S LIV. I DON’T HAVE ANY LEGAL BDG TO THEM, NO BLOOD RELATN. SO SOME WAYS, THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE IF THEY OPT TO THIS LOVE. I ASK GLENNON ALL THE TIME, “DO YOU FEEL JEALO THAT OUR KIDS CHOOSE TO LOVE ME AND THEY HAVE TO LOVE YOU?” [LGHS.]MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYRILEY KEOUGH ON GROWG UP PRLEY, LOSG LISA MARIE, AND INHERG GRACELANDBY BRT HENNEMUTHTHE TV MOVIE IS MAKG A WEIRD, WONRFUL COMEBACKBY DAVID CANFIELDAND NOW THAT’S ANOTHER LAYER TO MOTHERHOOD THE NTEXT OF CHOICE, WHICH IS SO PERTENT—PECIALLY THIS WEEK.DOYLE: AND ALSO SUGGTS THIS IA: IS MOTHERHOOD WHOUT CHOICE EVEN MOTHERHOOD?YOU MENTNED HOW UNTAMED IS A QUEER LOVE STORY MANY WAYS—CLUDG QUEER FAH. THOSE TWO THGS HAVE HISTORILLY BEEN NFLICT WH ONE ANOTHER.DOYLE: WELL, AND THAT’S ON PURPOSE. WE KNOW THAT PRE–ROE V. WA, ABORTN AND GAY RIGHTS WERE NONISSU FOR EVANGELILS. THEN SEGREGATN HAPPENED, AND EVANGELILS LOST THEIR RIGHT TO HAVE TAX-EXEMPT PRIVATE SCHOOLS. THEY WERE VERY FIRED UP ABOUT THAT. BUT THEY KNEW THEY ULDN’T PUBLICLY GO AGAST CIVIL RIGHTS AS AN ISSUE. SO THEY LIBERATELY CHOSE TO BE ANTIABORTN AND GAY RIGHTS BEE THOSE ARE EASIER FOR RALLYG A VOTG BLOC. THIS MOVEMENT AGAST PROGRS—OR REALLY AGAST WHAT IS—AND THE BLOOD THAT IS PUMPG THROUGH THE VES OF ANTIABORTN, GAY-MARRIAGE RHETORIC, IS RACISM. THE FACT THAT ANY CHRISTIAN WOULD BE TOEG THIS LE WHOUT DOG THE REARCH NECSARY TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THIS ME OM IS UNNSCNABLE.WE DID THIS BETIFUL TERVIEW WH OCEAN VUONG RECENTLY, AND HE WAS TALKG ABOUT WANTG TO KEEP CLAIMG MASCULY, EVEN THE FACE OF WHAT MASCULY HAS E TO MEAN TO PEOPLE THIS UNTRY. HE SAID, “I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE . I WANT TO STAY AND PLITE.” AND I THK THAT’S ALWAYS HOW I’VE FELT ABOUT FAH. IN OUR FAY, THE CHRISTIAN MANDATE “DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU” MEANS THAT EVERY GOOD THG YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF, YOU MT FIGHT FOR OTHERS TO HAVE OUR UNTRY. THE ON WHO HAVE BEEN OTHERED ARE BROWN PEOPLE, BLACK PEOPLE, WOMEN PEOPLE, UNHOED PEOPLE, NRODIVERGENT PEOPLE, POOR PEOPLE. HEALTH RE, BODILY TONOMY—RIGHT NOW ANY CHRISTIAN MAN WHO WANTS TO HAVE BODILY TONOMY AND IS NOT OUT THERE FOR WOMEN…[SIGHS]. I HAVE HAD MANY MOMENTS WHERE I’VE BEEN LIKE, I NNOT TAKE THAT ASSOCIATN ANYMORE—MORE GUNS, LS GAYS. BUT THEN I ALSO THK, NO, I DON’T WANT TO BE HIJACKED FOR ME.BEFORE WE WRAP, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE UPG TV ADAPTATN OF UNTAMED. HOW DO FEEL TO MOVE TO A NEW MEDIUM OF STORYTELLG—ONE THAT CLUS SARAH PLSON PLAYG YOU, GLENNON?DOYLE: I THK I N SAY RIGHT NOW, I FEEL REALLY HOPEFUL ABOUT WHAT THE SHOW ULD BE BEE OF THE PEOPLE THAT WE HAVE VOLVED TELLG .WAMBACH: AND BEE HOLLYWOOD’S THE WILD WILD WT.DOYLE: RIGHT, NOT SAYG HASN’T BEEN WEIRD. BUT YOU KNOW, SOME MAGIL THGS HAVE HAPPENED. LIKE ONLY [DNG] ONE ACTOR [FOR ME]. IT WAS SRY FOR BEE I WAS LIKE, “OKAY, SO THE THG IS, HAS TO BE SARAH.” IT HAD TO BE SOMEBODY WHO IS A TRANSFORMATNAL ACTOR, WHO IS TOUCH WH THE WORLD AND VOLVED EVERYTHG WE RE ABOUT, AND WHO IS QUEER. SO YOU MAKE ME THAT LIST!MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYRILEY KEOUGH ON GROWG UP PRLEY, LOSG LISA MARIE, AND INHERG GRACELANDBY BRT HENNEMUTHTHE TV MOVIE IS MAKG A WEIRD, WONRFUL COMEBACKBY DAVID CANFIELDTHE CENTER OF THAT VENN DIAGRAM IS SARAH.DOYLE: EXACTLY. I WAED FOR SO LONG TO ASK HER BEE I WAS SRED SHE WAS GONNA SAY NO. IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU DON’T LOOK FOR SOMETHG YOU LOST BEE YOU’RE AAID YOU ACTUALLY WON’T FD . I WROTE HER A LETTER AND TOLD HER WHY I WANTED TO BE HER. AND SHE WROTE ME BACK MUT SAYG THAT SHE ULD NOT BELIEVE THIS WAS HAPPENG BEE WHEN SHE READ UNTAMED THE YEAR PRR, SHE KNEW SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY ME. THE PERSON I’M WRG WH IS SARAH MCCARRON. SHE’S A YOUNG, QUEER, RADIL, BRILLIANT WOMAN BRGG THE NEW H IAS. JSIE NELSON IS A PRODUCER ON , AND SHE IS SO TOUCH WH THE MENTAL HEALTH AND MOTHER-DGHTER ASPECTS.AND THEN THERE’S THIS CRAZY THG THAT HAPPENED CREATIVELY. I’M WRG WH SARAH, AND THERE WAS THIS MOMENT WHERE I WAS WRG AND PROPOSG DIALOGUE. I WROTE THE WORDS AND SARAH—WHO HAS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BACKGROUND THEATER—SAID TO ME, “YEAH, BUT THE WORDS ARE LIKE THE LEAST TE THG THAT WE HAVE.” AND I WAS LIKE, “I’M SORRY?! I’VE BEEN WORKG FOR 15 YEARS WH WORDS.” AND BLEW MY MD BEE UNTAMED IS SO MUCH ABOUT OUR BODI—OUR BODI KNOW, OUR BODI TELL THE TTH; ALL OF THE HOMOPHOBIA, THE RACISM, THE NDNG IS OUR MDS. AND SO TO BE EXPLORG THAT—I DON’T THK THERE ARE MANY QUEER LOVE STORI THAT ARE TOLD BY QUEER PEOPLE FOR QUEER PEOPLE THAT ARE REAL LIKE THIS.MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW GREY’S ANATOMY WRER ELISABETH FCH USED LI TO CREATE MT-SEE TVTHE NORTHMAN: LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT BONKERS NILE KIDMAN SCENELRA DERN, SAM NEILL, AND JEFF GOLDBLUM’S JURASSIC PARK RNNREMEMBERG MARGARET CAMPBELL, THE “HOT MS” DUCHS AT THE CENTER OF ’60S SEX SNDALMELANIE LYNSKEY ON YELLOWJACKETS, CANDY, AND AN INCREDIBLE YEAREXCLIVE: OZARK’S ENDG, EXPLAEDWEWORK’S ADAM AND REBEKAH NMANN: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?WHY STREAMERS ARE PULLG BACK FROM EDGY CONTENTJOHNNY DEPP’S TARNISHED CAREER ENTERS THE AMBER HEARD DEFAMATN TRIALFROM THE ARCHIVE: THE TWS WHO FROLICKED WH JOHN PL GETTY IIISIGN UP FOR THE “HWD DAILY” NEWSLETTER FOR MT-READ DTRY AND AWARDS VERAGE—PL A SPECIAL WEEKLY EDN OF “AWARDS INSIR.”ABIGAIL GLASGOW
• AUTHOR GLENNON DOYLE MELTON GAY RELATNSHIP

CHRISTIAN BLOGGER GLENNON DOYLE MELTON COM OUT AS GAY, REVEALS SHE'S DATG SOCCER STAR ABBY WAMBACH

I jt thk that right now, some of the bt thgs I’m learng about gay activism is om Black activism. And I’ve been thkg about all the tersectns there, how the Black muny of activists has always shown up for the gay muny, and how sometim I feel like the bt thg I n do as an activist is listen and follow directns om my most treasured Back activist iends — particular Black trans women. Three years ago, she blogged: "I love gay people and I love Christians.

CHRISTIAN MOM GLENNON DOYLE PREACH SEXUALY BEYOND ‘GAY’ AND ‘STRAIGHT’ AT NSERVATIVE MEGACHURCH

Soccer star Abby Wambach, followg her divorce om longtime hband Craig Melton, thor Glennon Doyle said society will eventually accept a broar spectm of human sexualy beyond “gay” and “straight. We’ve got straight, and we’ve got gay.

WHEN YOUR SPOE OUT AS GAY

I thk everyone is sred gayns is ntag. I don’t thk gayns is ntag.

“You have had an tertg journey your sexualy, your gayns, whatever you want to ll , ” Wambach said. And now you’re gay. I jt me here tonight to ask, why is everybody so gay all of a sudn?

On the podst “We Can Do Hard Thgs wh Glennon Doyle, ” Abby Wambach talked about her experience wh relign and beg gay. ”Wambach rells beg a teenager and tellg her iend om church that she was gay.

DISCERNMENT CASE POT: GLENNON DOYLE MELTON OUT AS GAY

“If you are part of an anizatn — a fay, a nversatn, a iend, a church that is lettg homophobia live sidly — you have three choic, ” Doyle said. "But the way I grew up, jt wasn't an optn to be gay. So I was totally nial about the fact that I was gay, lerally well until our marriage and until Jsi nonted me about , " Stoddard told TODAY Parents.

That teachg was eply engraed Stoddard, and even when — six months to their marriage — Frew found a llectn of gay pornography on Stoddard's puter and asked him about his sexualy, he uldn't say the words out loud. "And uld not say the words to me at that pot that he was gay.

""And you have to remember, we were part of this relign that tght that even if you were gay, or even if you had feelgs of same-sex attractn, wasn’t somethg you need to act upon, " Stoddard add. Acrdg to the CDC, "some risk factors are lked to beg gay or bisexual a hostile environment and the effects that this has on mental health. Frew is also offerg a workshop for people who have had a spoe e out as gay.

GLENNON DOYLE AND ABBY WAMBACH WANT YOU TO KNOW WE CAN STILL DO HARD THGSTHE UPLE ON THEIR PODST’S ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY, TELLG THE TTH, AND TAKG UNTAMED’S QUEER LOVE STORY TO THE SMALL SCREEN.BY ABIGAIL GLASGOWMAY 11, 2022BY MELISSA LYTTLE. SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVESTG DOWN WH GLENNON DOYLE AND ABBY WAMBACH FEELS LIKE TAKG A EP BREATH. WHETHER THEY’RE DISCSG THE TENTNAL, POLILLY DRIVEN SIGN OF SEPARATG QUEER EXISTENCE OM FAH OR REFLECTG ON THE “RADIL” ACT OF TRANSPARENCY THAT ALONG WH DISCSG MENTAL HEALTH, THE TWO—BOTH AS A UPLE AND AS DIVIDUALS—ARE VOTED TO NDID, LLECTIVE, AND JT STORYTELLG. WEDNDAY MARKS ONE YEAR SCE THAT VOTN FUELED THE LNCH OF THEIR PODST, WE CAN DO HARD THGS. IN , DOYLE, WAMBACH, AND DOYLE’S SISTER AMANDA (KNOWN AS “SISTER”) BRG ON GUTS LIKE ALOK, CHANEL MILLER, MEGAN RAPOE, GABRIELLE UNN, AND TARANA BURKE TO TACKLE STORI OF INTY, ACTIVISM, SEX, NAVIGATG TRMA, AND EVERYTHG BETWEEN.VANY FAIR CHATTED WH THE DUO ABOUT THE SHOW’S EVOLUTN, VULNERABILY, AND SYSTEMIC OPPRSN. THEY ALSO GIVE A GLIMPSE AT ONE OF THEIR UPG PROJECTS: THE TV ADAPTATN OF DOYLE’S NOVEL UNTAMED.VANY FAIR: IT’S BEEN A YEAR SCE YOU LNCHED YOUR PODST, WE CAN DO HARD THGS. HOW DO YOU FEEL?GLENNON DOYLE: I FEEL REALLY GRATEFUL. I N’T BELIEVE I GET TO DO THIS WH MY SISTER AND MY WIFE, MY TWO FAVORE PEOPLE ON EARTH; OM MY UCH, MY FAVORE PLACE ON EARTH; DOG MY FAVORE THG, EXPLORG IAS AND BEG A BRIDGE BETWEEN TERTG HUMAN BEGS AND MY MUNY. IT’S A LOT OF EAKG WORK AND I TAKE REALLY SERLY, BEE ’S A BIG HONOR AND PRIVILEGE TO TELL THE PEOPLE’S STORI. I’VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. I HAVE ONLY MSED WH MYSELF, SO FEELS HEAVY SOMETIM.ABBY WAMBACH: YOU KNOW, I WAS SO NERVO ABOUT RETIRG OM SOCCER. THERE WAS SO MUCH PURPOSE SI WHAT I WAS DOG. IT WASN’T JT ABOUT ME, WAS ABOUT THAT LTLE GIRL OR BOY THE STANDS. WE WERE ACTIVISTS WHO DIDN’T NECSARILY KNOW ALL THE TIME. WE WERE PLAYG SPORTS, BUT REALLY WHAT WE WERE DOG WAS REVOLUTNARY MANY WAYS. I DIDN’T KNOW IF I WAS EVER GOG TO BE ABLE TO REPLITE THAT FEELG OF PURPOSE FOR THE RT OF MY WORKG LIFE—OBVLY HAVG A FAY AND BEG A WIFE HAS S OWN SENSE OF PURPOSE. THIS YEAR HAS MA ME UNRSTAND THAT WHAT I DID ON THE SOCCER FIELD GAVE ME A PLATFORM TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS WORK.DOYLE: ALSO, WRG A BOOK IS VERY LONELY FOR ME. IT’S DISAPPEARG OM MY LIFE. AND I FALLY LOVE MY LIFE. WRG ANOTHER BOOK DID NOT FEEL LIKE WHAT I WANTED TO DO, AND SOCIAL MEDIA SURE DIDN’T [EHER]. THIS WAS TWO YEARS AGO. IT WAS A SER TIME OUR UNTRY. WE NEED NUANCED, -PTH NVERSATNS. WE NEED ANOTHER MEDIUM WHERE WE ULD HAVE MORE GRAY FIXATNS AND MORE IMMEDIATE NVERSATNS.AND HOW DO YOU CI WHICH STORI TO TELL?DOYLE: IN THE VERY BEGNG, WE ASKED OUR MUNY—WE LL THEM THE POD SQUAD—WHO DO YOU WANT TO HEAR OM? I THK WE HAD 13,000 PEOPLE ON A SPREADSHEET OM 17,000 MENTS. WE HAD A TREASURE TROVE OF PEOPLE—OM PEOPLE WH 10 LN FOLLOWERS TO BRILLIANT MDS WH SIX. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW WE DO , THERE’S A LOT OF WEEPG AND GNASHG OF TEETH. I S WH [EACH TERVIEWEE]. I HAVE DAYS WHERE I’M LIKE, OKAY, TODAY’S THE DAY I GET TO THK ABOUT CHANEL MILLER—READG EVERYTHG SHE’S EVER SAID, GOG FOR A WALK AND ONLY THKG ABOUT HER. I FEEL LIKE I’M SPENDG A WEEK WH EACH PERSON.WAMBACH: I’LL WALK TO THE ROOM AND SHE’LL BE READG SOMEONE’S BOOK AND I’M LIKE, “WHAT ARE YOU DOG?” AND SHE’LL GO, “OH, I’M JT HANGG OUT WH SO-AND-SO.”THE PODST STRIK A BALANCE OF BEG CREDIBLY VULNERABLE, NDID, AND TIMATE ON A VERY PUBLIC PLATFORM. HOW DO YOU EXIST WH THAT FE LE?DOYLE: IT WOULD FEEL DIFFICULT IF THAT’S NOT HOW [OUR PLATFORM] WAS BUILT. BUT I STARTED WRG RIGHT WHEN I GOT SOBER AFTER BEG LOST TO FOOD AND ALHOL ADDICTN FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I FOUND THE MAGIC OF REVERY: WE DON’T HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF ANYTHG. WE N TALK ABOUT ALL OF OUR HARD THGS. WE LIVE SERVICE OF OTHERS. THAT WAS HOW I BUILT RELATNSHIPS AND A REER.WAMBACH: IT’S ONE OF THE THGS THAT WAS SUCH A DRAW, FOR ME, TO YOU. I ME OM A WORLD OF WOMEN’S SOCCER. I HAD A B OF FAME, BUT I DIDN’T REALLY TELL THE WORLD WHO I WAS, WHICH WAS THE DOWNFALL MY ADDICTN TO ALHOL. WHEN I MET [GLENNON], I LEARNED THAT I ACTUALLY JT NEED TO BE HONT ABOUT SOBRIETY. THAT’S ; THAT’S ALL I NEED TO BE. AND ON THE PODST, ’S STILL A LTLE NERVE-RACKG WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO DIVULGE PERSONAL RMATN PUBLICLY.ONE TIME, I WAS GOG TO TALK ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE OF WALKG TO PUBLIC RTROOMS AND GETTG MISTAKEN FOR A MAN—WHICH HAPPENS ABOUT 95% OF THE TIME. I FELT LIKE SHARG WOULD HAVE BEEN EMBARRASSG, BEE ’S EMBARRASSG THE MOMENT. BUT THE RPONSE THAT I GOT OM PEOPLE WHO PRENT LIKE ME, THAT HAVE HAD THIS EXACT EXPERIENCE, HAS MA MY EXPERIENCE WALKG TO PUBLIC RTROOMS PLETELY DIFFERENT.YOU KNOW, I LOST MY FATHER TO SUICI. AND HE WAS ALSO UNFAHFUL MY PARENTS’ MARRIAGE. AND I AM VOL ABOUT , BUT OTHER PEOPLE SORT OF TRIP OVER THEIR WORDS WHEN I BRG UP. BUT TIPTOEG OVER YOUR OWN EXPERIENC, THAT IS MORE TERRIFYG.MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYRILEY KEOUGH ON GROWG UP PRLEY, LOSG LISA MARIE, AND INHERG GRACELANDBY BRT HENNEMUTHTHE TV MOVIE IS MAKG A WEIRD, WONRFUL COMEBACKBY DAVID CANFIELDWAMBACH: AND YOU’RE BRGG SOMETHG THAT HAS FELT LIKE ’S BEEN THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT BY TALKG ABOUT WH NO SHAME.IN THAT VE, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE CIRCULATN OF UNTAMED. HOW DO FEEL TO HEAR THAT YOUR STORY HAS BEE A WAY FOR FOLKS TO SHARE THEIR OWN STORI?DOYLE: I THK THAT WOULD BE SRY AS HELL IF I DIDN’T TLY KNOW THAT NONE OF THAT IS ACTUALLY ABOUT ME, BUT IS THE POWER THAT HAPPENS WHEN ANYBODY TELLS THE TTH ABOUT THEIR LIFE. WHEN I STARTED REVERY, I WAS PROPOSED THIS THEORY THAT IF YOU JT TELL THE TTH, YOU WILL FD MORE NNECTN WH OTHER HUMAN BEGS, YOU WILL FEEL EER—BEE YOU WON’T BE RRYG SHAME. AND THEN I GOT TO TT THE THEORY SUCH A MAGNIFIED WAY.WHAT I REALLY BELIEVE ABOUT EEDOM—WHICH IS WHY ’S BEG SO HEAVILY OPPOSED RIGHT NOW ON SO MANY LEVELS—IS THAT ’S WILDLY NTAG. WHEN PEOPLE HAND UNTAMED TO EACH OTHER, FEELS TO ME LIKE WHAT THEY’RE SAYG IS, “I’M TRYG TO GIVE YOU A LTLE B OF EEDOM.”AND I KNOW THAT DON’T HAVE TO DO WH ME PERSONALLY BEE THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE PASSG TO EACH OTHER WHO AREN’T QUEER. AND [UNTAMED] IS A QUEER LOVE STORY—NOT JT ROMANTILLY, EHER. IT’S ABOUT QUEER FAH. IT’S ABOUT QUEER GENR. I THK PEOPLE ARE JT TRYG TO PASS THE BATON.SCE ’S THE SEASON OF MOTHER’S DAY, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT MOTHERHOOD MEANS FOR YOU BOTH.DOYLE: I DON’T EVEN THK OF THE WORD MOTHER AS A NOUN ANYMORE. IT’S A VERB. LIZ GILBERT, TRACEE ELLIS ROSS, OPRAH—THE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE CID NOT TO HAVE BLOGIL CHILDREN BUT MOTHER AND THE WORLD BETTER THAN ANYBODY. THE ACTIVISTS OUR LIV ARE PROBABLY THE FIERCT MOTHERS THAT WE KNOW. WHICH IS HOW MOTHER’S DAY STARTED—AS A DAY TO ACTIVATE MUNI. THERE IS A WAY OF THKG ABOUT MOTHERG THAT, SOME WAYS, IS AT THE ROOT OF A LOT OF OUR UNTRY’S CHALLENG. WHICH IS WHAT I WROTE ABOUT UNTAMED. THERE’S THIS IA THAT MY JOB AS A MOTHER IS TO PROTECT MY PARTICULAR CHILD—GIVE THEM SIX IPADS, SEVEN FLAVORS OF CREAM CHEE. BUT WHAT IF WE MAKE OUR MOTHERG LENS A LOT WIR AND NSIR THAT ALL CHILDREN ARE OUR CHILDREN? WHAT WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE?WAMBACH: WE BOTH E AT MOTHERHOOD OM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, [GLENNON’S] BEG THE BLOGIL ROUTE AND ME AS A BON PARENT. EARLY ON OUR RELATNSHIP AND MARRIAGE, I WAS NSIRG HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD OF MY OWN. AS TIME WENT ON, I REALIZED THAT THE THREE CHILDREN WERE ENOUGH FOR ME. I DIDN’T NEED TO DO MYSELF ORR TO FEEL LIKE A MOTHER. I’VE BEEN ABLE TO UNRSTAND BON MOTHERHOOD MANY WAYS AS THE MOST SELFLS, LOVG EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. I’M MARRIED TO THE CHILDREN’S LIV. I DON’T HAVE ANY LEGAL BDG TO THEM, NO BLOOD RELATN. SO SOME WAYS, THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE IF THEY OPT TO THIS LOVE. I ASK GLENNON ALL THE TIME, “DO YOU FEEL JEALO THAT OUR KIDS CHOOSE TO LOVE ME AND THEY HAVE TO LOVE YOU?” [LGHS.]MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYRILEY KEOUGH ON GROWG UP PRLEY, LOSG LISA MARIE, AND INHERG GRACELANDBY BRT HENNEMUTHTHE TV MOVIE IS MAKG A WEIRD, WONRFUL COMEBACKBY DAVID CANFIELDAND NOW THAT’S ANOTHER LAYER TO MOTHERHOOD THE NTEXT OF CHOICE, WHICH IS SO PERTENT—PECIALLY THIS WEEK.DOYLE: AND ALSO SUGGTS THIS IA: IS MOTHERHOOD WHOUT CHOICE EVEN MOTHERHOOD?YOU MENTNED HOW UNTAMED IS A QUEER LOVE STORY MANY WAYS—CLUDG QUEER FAH. THOSE TWO THGS HAVE HISTORILLY BEEN NFLICT WH ONE ANOTHER.DOYLE: WELL, AND THAT’S ON PURPOSE. WE KNOW THAT PRE–ROE V. WA, ABORTN AND GAY RIGHTS WERE NONISSU FOR EVANGELILS. THEN SEGREGATN HAPPENED, AND EVANGELILS LOST THEIR RIGHT TO HAVE TAX-EXEMPT PRIVATE SCHOOLS. THEY WERE VERY FIRED UP ABOUT THAT. BUT THEY KNEW THEY ULDN’T PUBLICLY GO AGAST CIVIL RIGHTS AS AN ISSUE. SO THEY LIBERATELY CHOSE TO BE ANTIABORTN AND GAY RIGHTS BEE THOSE ARE EASIER FOR RALLYG A VOTG BLOC. THIS MOVEMENT AGAST PROGRS—OR REALLY AGAST WHAT IS—AND THE BLOOD THAT IS PUMPG THROUGH THE VES OF ANTIABORTN, GAY-MARRIAGE RHETORIC, IS RACISM. THE FACT THAT ANY CHRISTIAN WOULD BE TOEG THIS LE WHOUT DOG THE REARCH NECSARY TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THIS ME OM IS UNNSCNABLE.WE DID THIS BETIFUL TERVIEW WH OCEAN VUONG RECENTLY, AND HE WAS TALKG ABOUT WANTG TO KEEP CLAIMG MASCULY, EVEN THE FACE OF WHAT MASCULY HAS E TO MEAN TO PEOPLE THIS UNTRY. HE SAID, “I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE . I WANT TO STAY AND PLITE.” AND I THK THAT’S ALWAYS HOW I’VE FELT ABOUT FAH. IN OUR FAY, THE CHRISTIAN MANDATE “DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU” MEANS THAT EVERY GOOD THG YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF, YOU MT FIGHT FOR OTHERS TO HAVE OUR UNTRY. THE ON WHO HAVE BEEN OTHERED ARE BROWN PEOPLE, BLACK PEOPLE, WOMEN PEOPLE, UNHOED PEOPLE, NRODIVERGENT PEOPLE, POOR PEOPLE. HEALTH RE, BODILY TONOMY—RIGHT NOW ANY CHRISTIAN MAN WHO WANTS TO HAVE BODILY TONOMY AND IS NOT OUT THERE FOR WOMEN…[SIGHS]. I HAVE HAD MANY MOMENTS WHERE I’VE BEEN LIKE, I NNOT TAKE THAT ASSOCIATN ANYMORE—MORE GUNS, LS GAYS. BUT THEN I ALSO THK, NO, I DON’T WANT TO BE HIJACKED FOR ME.BEFORE WE WRAP, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE UPG TV ADAPTATN OF UNTAMED. HOW DO FEEL TO MOVE TO A NEW MEDIUM OF STORYTELLG—ONE THAT CLUS SARAH PLSON PLAYG YOU, GLENNON?DOYLE: I THK I N SAY RIGHT NOW, I FEEL REALLY HOPEFUL ABOUT WHAT THE SHOW ULD BE BEE OF THE PEOPLE THAT WE HAVE VOLVED TELLG .WAMBACH: AND BEE HOLLYWOOD’S THE WILD WILD WT.DOYLE: RIGHT, NOT SAYG HASN’T BEEN WEIRD. BUT YOU KNOW, SOME MAGIL THGS HAVE HAPPENED. LIKE ONLY [DNG] ONE ACTOR [FOR ME]. IT WAS SRY FOR BEE I WAS LIKE, “OKAY, SO THE THG IS, HAS TO BE SARAH.” IT HAD TO BE SOMEBODY WHO IS A TRANSFORMATNAL ACTOR, WHO IS TOUCH WH THE WORLD AND VOLVED EVERYTHG WE RE ABOUT, AND WHO IS QUEER. SO YOU MAKE ME THAT LIST!MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYRILEY KEOUGH ON GROWG UP PRLEY, LOSG LISA MARIE, AND INHERG GRACELANDBY BRT HENNEMUTHTHE TV MOVIE IS MAKG A WEIRD, WONRFUL COMEBACKBY DAVID CANFIELDTHE CENTER OF THAT VENN DIAGRAM IS SARAH.DOYLE: EXACTLY. I WAED FOR SO LONG TO ASK HER BEE I WAS SRED SHE WAS GONNA SAY NO. IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU DON’T LOOK FOR SOMETHG YOU LOST BEE YOU’RE AAID YOU ACTUALLY WON’T FD . I WROTE HER A LETTER AND TOLD HER WHY I WANTED TO BE HER. AND SHE WROTE ME BACK MUT SAYG THAT SHE ULD NOT BELIEVE THIS WAS HAPPENG BEE WHEN SHE READ UNTAMED THE YEAR PRR, SHE KNEW SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY ME. THE PERSON I’M WRG WH IS SARAH MCCARRON. SHE’S A YOUNG, QUEER, RADIL, BRILLIANT WOMAN BRGG THE NEW H IAS. JSIE NELSON IS A PRODUCER ON , AND SHE IS SO TOUCH WH THE MENTAL HEALTH AND MOTHER-DGHTER ASPECTS.AND THEN THERE’S THIS CRAZY THG THAT HAPPENED CREATIVELY. I’M WRG WH SARAH, AND THERE WAS THIS MOMENT WHERE I WAS WRG AND PROPOSG DIALOGUE. I WROTE THE WORDS AND SARAH—WHO HAS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BACKGROUND THEATER—SAID TO ME, “YEAH, BUT THE WORDS ARE LIKE THE LEAST TE THG THAT WE HAVE.” AND I WAS LIKE, “I’M SORRY?! I’VE BEEN WORKG FOR 15 YEARS WH WORDS.” AND BLEW MY MD BEE UNTAMED IS SO MUCH ABOUT OUR BODI—OUR BODI KNOW, OUR BODI TELL THE TTH; ALL OF THE HOMOPHOBIA, THE RACISM, THE NDNG IS OUR MDS. AND SO TO BE EXPLORG THAT—I DON’T THK THERE ARE MANY QUEER LOVE STORI THAT ARE TOLD BY QUEER PEOPLE FOR QUEER PEOPLE THAT ARE REAL LIKE THIS.MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW GREY’S ANATOMY WRER ELISABETH FCH USED LI TO CREATE MT-SEE TVTHE NORTHMAN: LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT BONKERS NILE KIDMAN SCENELRA DERN, SAM NEILL, AND JEFF GOLDBLUM’S JURASSIC PARK RNNREMEMBERG MARGARET CAMPBELL, THE “HOT MS” DUCHS AT THE CENTER OF ’60S SEX SNDALMELANIE LYNSKEY ON YELLOWJACKETS, CANDY, AND AN INCREDIBLE YEAREXCLIVE: OZARK’S ENDG, EXPLAEDWEWORK’S ADAM AND REBEKAH NMANN: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?WHY STREAMERS ARE PULLG BACK FROM EDGY CONTENTJOHNNY DEPP’S TARNISHED CAREER ENTERS THE AMBER HEARD DEFAMATN TRIALFROM THE ARCHIVE: THE TWS WHO FROLICKED WH JOHN PL GETTY IIISIGN UP FOR THE “HWD DAILY” NEWSLETTER FOR MT-READ DTRY AND AWARDS VERAGE—PL A SPECIAL WEEKLY EDN OF “AWARDS INSIR.”ABIGAIL GLASGOW

"In September, 2019, he told me he was gay. And there was a perd where we wonred if a mixed-orientatn marriage worked, where even though he was gay he wanted to rema married. "On the flip si of that, the panmic has given me time and space to bee way more fortable my own gay sk.

AUTHOR GLENNON DOYLE MELTON GAY RELATNSHIP

I anticipated the homophobia om certa people my life — I didn't realize how much homophobia I had my own self.

But Alan knew he was gay at a young age — knowledge that ntradicted his fah’s teachgs. ”Now, Alan says his ex-wife, fay members, and children love the more thentic, hont versn of himself more than the person he was when he wasn’t out as a gay man.

Activists—I’m not gay enough for the gay muny.