An open letter to my fellow whe gay cis men: there should be no "returng to normal" after this.
Contents:
- GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET
- IS THE GAY WORLD SHALLOW? OR IS IT JT ME?
- THE GAY COMMUNY’S OBSSN WH STAT AND LOOKS HAS HUGE MENTAL HEALTH COSTS
- IS THE GAY MUNY SHALLOW??
- ‘GAY LIFE IS BETTER NOW. ABSOLUTELY’: FIVE GENERATNS ON G OUT AND WHAT ME NEXT
- LGBT FILM : WHY IS GAY MUNY SO SHALLOW AND BTER?
- WHY GAYBORHOODS MATTER: THE STREET EMPIRICS OF URBAN SEXUALI
- ACTIVISTS NMN VLENCE AGAST LGBTQ MUNY ST. VCENT, WHERE GAY SEX IS ILLEGAL
GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET
* the gay community is shallow *
But even though the nversatns that muted this lumn for six weeks are nowhere close to beg over, I do feel like some thgs that me up durg that time of ntemplatn are worth sayg now — particularly to my fellow whe gay cis out more stori on LGBTQ+ ins and activistsHowever, the ghost of Larry Kramer very much remaed my own head as I ma my way through a Pri month unlike any other. I spent a few quiet afternoons readg his 1978 but novel Faggots, a satiril (yet clearly tobgraphil) look at the liv of gay men 1970s New York Cy that he wrote jt before AIDS ma him a figurehead of Amerin activism.
Followg a man his late 30s (based on Kramer himself) who is seekg out a lovg, long-term relatnship a sea of hedonism, the novel has a clear msage: gay men need to start lovg each other stead of beg so obssed wh gettg fucked up and (lerally and figuratively) fuckg each other.
In mastream gay media, the phrase almost always refers to a fairly specific subset of the LGBTQ "muny" largely ma up of whe gay cis men — even though many of the battl won around queer rights were fought by people of lour, trans and genr-nonnformg folks, and queer women, and fact the morn Pri movement self was large part iated by Black trans women.
IS THE GAY WORLD SHALLOW? OR IS IT JT ME?
Stereotypilly, gay, queer and trans kids flee small towns to fd acceptance big, diverse ci like New York or Chigo. But evince shows many will eventually return to ral areas. * the gay community is shallow *
If an imprsn of a monolhic "gay culture" fed by such a homogeneo mographic exists, is bee whe gay cis men have until very recently domated mastream reprentatn unr the LGBTQ umbrella and have, general, been hand a level of privilege the last that is wildly disproportnate to any other mographic unr said umbrella. In analyzg the show's pictn of young gay men livg San Francis, wrer Daniel Wenger diagnos what he terms the "new gay sadns": an entire generatn of urban, privileged gay men who seem to have no clue what they're lookg for or who they are.
THE GAY COMMUNY’S OBSSN WH STAT AND LOOKS HAS HUGE MENTAL HEALTH COSTS
Rearchers are fdg that racism, petn, and a fixatn on sex wh the gay and bi muny are drivg anxiety and prsn. * the gay community is shallow *
Largely born the 1980s, they are the earlit wave of a "post-Stonewall, post-plague, post-activist" generatn of gays — "too old to have brought a boy to the prom and too young to have nursed a fantasy of nng away to an urban gay utopia, " Wenger explas.
Queeri5 pneerg LGBTQ Canadian films you n watch for ee right nowI've seen many of my fellow whe gay cis men seemgly rise to the ocsn by retweetg Black and Indigeno voic, gog to ralli and vowg to te themselv on how to tly be anti-racist (though how performative that is some s is unclear).
IS THE GAY MUNY SHALLOW??
So I've been open for a few months, and I have noticed que a few shallow people the gay muny, and I wanna know why..? I mean I'm not tryg... * the gay community is shallow *
The standard narrative of ral gay life is that ’s tough for LGBTQ kids who flee their ral hometowns for inic urban “gayborhoods” like Chigo’s Boystown or the Castro San Francis – plac where they n fd love, feel “normal” and be surround by others like them. And is the most signifint of s kd to exame muny strsors among gay and bisexual fdgs reveal what many the muny know all too well: that gay and bisexual men n be pretty harsh wh one another and wh ourselv tryg to measure up.
Spoke to Pachankis about the leadg strsors that origate wh the muny, their effects on mental and physil health, and how gay and bisexual men might better support one another and venture to move forward were the major prsur you found affectg the mental health of gay and bisexual men?
‘GAY LIFE IS BETTER NOW. ABSOLUTELY’: FIVE GENERATNS ON G OUT AND WHAT ME NEXT
The fourth was that the gay muny is exclnary of diversy, cludg racial-ethnic diversy and age diversy, and discrimatory towards gay men wh rearch fds that each of the class of strsors is associated wh prsn and anxiety. To the extent that we know ourselv through the reflectn of others, what we fd is that gay and bisexual men might be particularly likely to size themselv up g the same standards of attractivens and succs and masculy that they e to size up their potential sex partners, which n be particularly groups did you fd were disproportnately affected? To my knowledge, no prev studi had really homed on the strs that gay and bisexual men might experience wh each other as predictors of HIV found a rrelatn where gay and bisexual men who are particularly strsed by the gay muny’s foc on sex, stat, and petn or who were likely to perceive the gay muny as exclnary of diversy were more likely to engage sex whout ndoms or PrEP their daily liv.
LGBT FILM : WHY IS GAY MUNY SO SHALLOW AND BTER?
At the same time, I knew that any rearch that shows stigma or heterosexism is not the sole e of gay and bisexual men's poor mental health uld potentially be ed to somehow return to this old historic argument that somehow gay and bisexual men were herently I was fortable proceedg wh the studi bee I knew they uld potentially be a ll for actn wh the gay muny, to crease s embrace of what have historilly been s most remarkable attribut—s abily to support each other the fac of ernment neglect, to thk creatively about how to form iendships and partnerships, and ultimately how to urageoly look wh and form a muny that LGBTQ+ people n be proud there solutns to the muny dynamics suggted by your rearch?
WHY GAYBORHOODS MATTER: THE STREET EMPIRICS OF URBAN SEXUALI
One of the least equently endorsed ems on our surveys was that gay men aren’t good iends to each other, which really suggts that relyg on and strengtheng iendships the face of some of the more strsful aspects of the gay muny would be a sure route to protect agast that type of the extent that gay muny spac move onle to platforms like Grdr, the norms for munitn and for muny get grad and brought down to the lowt mon nomator.
ACTIVISTS NMN VLENCE AGAST LGBTQ MUNY ST. VCENT, WHERE GAY SEX IS ILLEGAL
So I thk another terventn would be eher to prerve brick-and-mortar spac, where people n ntue to ngregate diverse, open ways; or enhance onle platforms to facilate more sense of muny over expedient thg that’s often been untilized the gay muny is tergeneratnal mentorship.