Out of the Shadows: Reimagg Gay Men’s Liv by Walt Ots

Contents:

• WONRG AT THE ‘SPECIAL UNIVERSE’ OF GAY LIFE ALL ITS DIVERSY
• OUT OF THE SHADOWS: REIMAGG GAY MEN'S LIV
• OUT OF THE SHADOWS: REIMAGG GAY MEN’S LIV
• ‘OUT OF THE SHADOWS: REIMAGG GAY MEN’S LIV’ BY WALT OTS
• REIMAGG GAY MEN'S LIV
• OUT OF THE SHADOWS: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF GAY MEN'S LIV

WONRG AT THE ‘SPECIAL UNIVERSE’ OF GAY LIFE ALL ITS DIVERSY

AdvertisementSKIP Skipper/Associated PrsWhen you purchase an penntly reviewed book through our se, we earn an affiliate 31, 2019OUT OF THE SHADOWS Reimagg Gay Men’s Liv By Walt OtsWhen the clil psychologist Walt Ots began workg wh gay men San Francis the mid-1980s, much of the therapy foced on trma and shame. There was the realy of growg up gay Ameri bed wh the tastrophe of the AIDS epimic, which by 1989 had killed at least 90, 000 people, cludg a number of Ots’s than three s later, the gay men Ots now works wh live a markedly different world, one where they n marry and which sex don’t e booby-trapped wh the fear of ath.

A gay man, Pete Buttigieg, is wily nsired a viable printial ndidate, his sexual orientatn seemgly no longer disqualifyg (and possibly even an asset). Movement sist that gay men — particularly whe gay men — have relatively ltle to worry about “Out of the Shadows, ” Ots argu that the transformatnal effects of recent polil and judicial victori on the liv of gay men have been greatly exaggerated.

“Shame still often lurks unnscly behd the most succsful of gay liv, ” he wr, a theme that he returns to over and over aga a book that is part polemic, part memoir and part road map for gay people hopg to live is clear that the shame he believ still hnts many gay men isn’t their flt.

OUT OF THE SHADOWS: REIMAGG GAY MEN'S LIV

“The stigmatizatn of gay people has always been a societal problem for which gay people have been blamed, ” he wr. Ots also dissects the psychologil impact of fai and muni that too often burn young gay men wh shame.

OUT OF THE SHADOWS: REIMAGG GAY MEN’S LIV

He rejects the ia that we live a post-homophobic untry. “There is not a sgle gay man alive Ameri who has not sometim felt self-nsc or fearful about touchg a lover public, ” he wr, rrectly llg this “a human tragedy. ”The solutn to the endurg psychologil challeng facg gay men, Ots believ, likely won’t be found a sperate attempt to make a home stutns signed by heterosexual people, cludg marriage.

‘OUT OF THE SHADOWS: REIMAGG GAY MEN’S LIV’ BY WALT OTS

Ots wr that if “acceptance is predited on ‘normalizg’ gay relatnships by moldg them — at least appearance — to nventnal heterosexual forms, the change will bee a signifint addnal source of hopelsns for gay men.

” Nor will healg always be found, Ots argu, ntemporary gay muni, where he laments that younger and olr men too often view each other wh creasg spicn and hostily, and where he sists that — spe the ostensibly endls possibili for nnectn offered by gay datg and hookup apps — “isolatn is enmic.

”Ots’s solutn is for gay men to acknowledge and face the shame they’ve been burned wh, and then to beg the difficult work of buildg liv “that stand on thentic self-acceptance.

REIMAGG GAY MEN'S LIV

Some of the se studi (and the nclns Ots draws om them) feel dated and not particularly profound, and Ots is at his bt when focg ls on his patients and more on the gay men wh whom he has shared his own life. There’s sadns Ots’s life story, but there’s mostly rilience, tenrns and a willgns to fashn an unapologetic gay life, sometim agast all odds. (The exquisely told story of Ots’s longtime iend and lover, who fled a trailer he shared wh a btally homophobic fay and built a life burstg wh meang and timacy, is the most pellg story of gay self-actualizatn I’ve ever enuntered.

)Ots and his close iends and lovers should serve as an spiratn to many gay men, as well as a remr of what might be the book’s most endurg msage.

“All the diverse forms that te gay life has improvised, ” Ots wr, “nstute a special universe that should not be relquished to meet the expectatns of a pathologil society. ”OUT OF THE SHADOWS Reimagg Gay Men’s Liv By Walt Ots 347 pp. A movg exploratn of how gay men nstct their inti, fight to be themselv, and live thentillyIt go whout sayg that even today, ’s not easy to be gay Ameri.

OUT OF THE SHADOWS: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF GAY MEN'S LIV

While young gay men often e out more readily, even those om the most progrsive of backgrounds still stggle wh the legacy of early-life stigma and a fic of self-acceptance, which n fuel doubt, regret, and, at worst, self-loathg. Drawg on his work as a clil psychologist durg and the aftermath of the epimic, Walt Ots reflects on what means to survive and figure out a way to live a new, unpromisg future, both for the men who endured the upheaval of those years and for the younger men who have e of age sce then, at a time when an HIV epimic is still ravagg the gay muny, pecially among the most margalized. He wr to help renstct how we thk about gay life by nsirg everythg om the misleadg ia of “the homosexual, ” to the diversy and richns of gay relatnships, to the historil role of stigma and shame and the signifince of youth and of agg.

Though is drawn om s of private practice, activism, and life the gay muny, Ots’s work achiev remarkable universaly. Not that I have anythg agast psychology or psychologists let me hasten to add; 's jt that my late seventi I feel the need to better unrstand the "psychology of gay men's liv", or my own gay life for that matter, no longer a very prsg issue.

No matter your age, your experience, your statn life, your beg or out of the closet, if you are a gay man or thk you might be, this book n enlighten, stct, and help you. Unually, for a profsnal man wrg about his subject, this thor tells you ndidly about himself, about his journey, about his own gay love life. In the penultimate chapter which he vot to Matthias Johnston's life story, surely the masterpiece of this book, he not only reveals himself, but tells more vividly what he means by the psychology of gay men's liv, that all down ultimately to succsfully rolvg the stggle to achieve self-acceptance agast the rrive shame and self-rejectn which gay men have tradnally had to endure.

Gay men need to read . And anyone who knows and r about a gay man but don't que unrstand him will fd this book helful. Reviewed the Uned Kgdom on April 6, 2023A fascatg read and as a gay man of a certa age really got me thkg about the damage done to myself and other gay men by society (and our fay’s) attus and behavurs.

Reviewed the Uned Kgdom on December 23, 2020As a gay man almost everythg clicked, sudnly ma sense to me. Not only to gay men but to anyone wh an tert psychology and book is tense - I spent about 10 ms readg and 30 reflectg upon - though is easily unrstandable and much of is easily parable (verifiable) to () your life experience (English isn’t my first language) this reason I believe that is very scientific. Reviewed Germany on June 2, 2022Des of experience and reflectn om the psychotherapist Walt Ots transcribed this wonrful book about gay men.

As a Gay - English - man who won't see forty aga and for whom the urse of te love never did n smooth, I'm trigued by certa re qutns - nature or nurture (or a b of both); are many drawn to youth as they uld not exprs themselv when they, turn, were youthful (or is simply a hedonistic sire for lean, h, meat); monogamy or not (and if not, why not); is possible to discs the issu whout vokg the charge of ternalised homophobia/self hater? Gay men, to name jt one group, need inty polics to bat the shame and sha that’s thrown our way om childhood bullyg and straight through adulthood. The days that sha may part e om headl about other regns of the world where men are thrown off buildgs or stoned to ath bee they’re gay.