As assiatn to more mastream culture creas, many gay men are shiftg their attus on non-tradnal relatnships—beg ls acceptg of them.
Contents:
- A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
- GAY MALE COUPL: SEXUALLY OPEN OR CLOSED?
- GAY MEN OPEN RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?
A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
A nversatn about open and monogamo marriage, for gay men and for all. * gays and open relationships *
I had the opportuny to talk wh psychotherapist and thor Michael Dale Kimmel about his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. MOC: Tell me about The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage.
MDK: I began offerg workshops for gay, bisexual, and transgenr men about eighteen years’ ago, and after a uple of years there were always a few guys who me up to me and said ( whispered ton), “You’ve got to put this stuff a book. While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay weddg, there were virtually none that addrs what to do after the honeymoon is over (lerally and figuratively).
” — regard to gay marriage — to be ntroversial.
GAY MALE COUPL: SEXUALLY OPEN OR CLOSED?
How do queer men navigate an stutn not signed for them? Therapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers clu his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. Check out an exclive excerpt below. * gays and open relationships *
The Gay Man’s Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage dar to ask the qutn: is monogamy or an open relatnship (or a batn of both) the bt way to stcture your marriage? Same-sex marriage has been a long time g – a few thoand years or so - and now that ’s fally here, many gay, bisexual and transgenr men may thk that ’s a bad ia to “rock the boat” by discsg the kds of ias that this book prents.
I believe that now is the perfect time to qutn what gay marriage n, should and will be, while is still relatively new, h and malleable. MDK: I have been givg workshops on “monogamy or open relatnship” for many years, long before gay marriage was legal. While marriage wasn’t a possibily then, the qutns those workshops were basilly the same as those this book: as gay men, do we choose the monogamy of heterosexual marriage as our mol, or do we prefer an open marriage?
And yet, most gay marriag emulate whout much thought, assumg that ’s the “right” way to be married. As a psychotherapist for gay upl for many years’ now, ’s been que clear to me that “handbooks” for heterosexual marriage don’t really apply to our marriag several signifint ways: our marriag are more “signed” than “assumed. As gay men, we are ed to fg our own paths and fg our relatnships on our own terms.
GAY MEN OPEN RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?
Many young gay men are "hopels" romantics, but this may be unrealistic. * gays and open relationships *
And yet, when I work wh young gay (and bi, straight and trans) men, I see a sea change ahead. I wrote the chapter about “refg genr rol, " bee we have an amazg opportuny as married gay men to terme who we are as two men, married to each other. MDK: As gay people, we n create new stctur and paradigms that serve not only , but all people.
This book enurag everyone, not jt gay men, to take a good look at that formidable stutn and beg to ask some big, meangful qutns, like:.
* gays and open relationships *
The are not jt qutns for gay upl, they are qutns for all upl: my polyamoro straight clients are alg wh the very same stuff. I know many gay, bi, trans and straight upl who have solid, lovg monogamo relatnships. I’ve seen this kd of relatnship many of the gay marriag – both open and monogamo - that I’ve had the pleasure to work wh.
Your gay marriage n be amazg, high-functng and extremely fulfillg…if you and your hband are willg to do the work. Whether married or not, many gay relatnships beg to "open up" after the first few years. In the book, we'll follow two upl as they explore how to handle the sire for sex outsi their gay upl do want monogamy.
Many of my upled gay clients, havg examed tradnal heterosexual marriage-based relatnships, fd them lackg. While this is a ntroversial issue, 's also an opportuny for as married or potentially-married gay men to be social pneers and make our own way. And I'm not jt talkg about sex my years of workg wh upl, I've noticed that gay upl typilly experience two challeng more tensely than do oppose-sex or lbian upl: petn and nflict.
In this two-mute vio, Gay Therapy Center Founr and Director Adam Blum reveals some of the data on open relatnships the LGTBQ muny. * gays and open relationships *
But, too much petn leads to nflict, and nflict a double ttosterone marriage n easily lead to arguments that late out of ntrol both verbally and the other end of the ttosterone spectm, I've noticed that creasg ttosterone levels are often related to lower levels of sexual satisfactn (and more open relatnships) gay upl their forti and fifti. If sex has been a major rnerstone of our marriag/relatnships and we h an age where our sexual sir and libido take a dive, we may hope that openg up our relatnship will be jt the panacea we're lookg be blunt -- ttosterone n make too horny when we're younger (creatg trouble marriag), and too disterted sex when we're marriage has been a long time g -- a few thoand years or so -- and now that 's fally here, many gay, bisexual and transgenr men may thk that 's a bad ia to "rock the boat" by discsg the kds of ias that this book prents. I believe that now is the perfect time to qutn what gay marriage n, should and will be, while is still relatively new, h and the double ttosterone marriage, "monogamy or open relatnship?
Excerpted om Michael Dale Kimmel's The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage, released this month by Rowman & Ltlefield. Which Ik is a mon thg for gay men and I rpect his cisn. So after talkg and him sayg he’d be fe wh ( which I uld tell he was jt tryg to be brave for me and wasn’t totally fe wh ) I download a gay hook up app and started chattg to guys.