Story Saved</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-outle" d="M20 24L12.5 19.7804L5 24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm bGlCJj hOUjyY alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, select My Acunt, then <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ AoBt eegVhC button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg buttonlabel">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT buttonin-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 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role="lk">Wellns</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatnlist-em" data-ttid="navigatnlist-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatnlk" href="/gqsports" data-ttid="navigatnternal-lk" role="lk">GQ Sports</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatnlist-em" data-ttid="navigatnlist-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatnlk" href=" data-ttid="navigatnternal-lk" role="lk">The GQ Box</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatnlist-em" data-ttid="navigatnlist-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatnlk" href="/vio" data-ttid="navigatnternal-lk" role="lk">Vios</a></li></ul></nav><span class="NavigatnDivir-fEDnwq ixXXMs navigatndivir"></span></div><div class="StackedNavigatnBottom-dpkX bIeNbx"><div class="StackedNavigatnDrawer-jtJcEj jydqIN"><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ AoBt eegVhC button button--utily StackedNavigatnDrawerToggle-cycUFN kObYXS" 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fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm bGlCJj hOUjyY alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, vis My Profile, then <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ AoBt eegVhC button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg buttonlabel">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT buttonin-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 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8.01 19.298 8.048C20.15 8.087 20.731 8.222 21.24 8.42C21.766 8.624 22.213 8.898 22.657 9.343C23.102 9.787 23.376 10.233 23.58 10.76C23.778 11.269 23.913 11.85 23.952 12.702C23.991 13.555 24 13.827 24 16C24 18.173 23.99 18.445 23.952 19.298C23.913 20.15 23.778 20.731 23.58 21.24C23.379 21.7738 23.064 22.2574 22.657 22.657C22.213 23.102 21.767 23.376 21.24 23.58C20.731 23.778 20.15 23.913 19.298 23.952C18.445 23.991 18.173 24 16 24C13.827 24 13.555 23.99 12.702 23.952C11.85 23.913 11.269 23.778 10.76 23.58C10.2262 23.379 9.74259 23.064 9.343 22.657C8.93593 22.2574 8.62093 21.7738 8.42 21.24C8.222 20.731 8.087 20.15 8.048 19.298C8.01 18.445 8 18.173 8 16C8 13.827 8.01 13.555 8.048 12.702C8.087 11.85 8.222 11.269 8.42 10.76C8.624 10.234 8.898 9.787 9.343 9.343C9.787 8.898 10.233 8.624 10.76 8.42C11.269 8.222 11.85 8.087 12.702 8.048C13.555 8.01 13.827 8 16 8ZM16 10C14.046 10 13.814 10.007 13.043 10.043C12.329 10.075 11.942 10.194 11.683 10.295C11.3657 10.4124 11.0787 10.5993 10.843 10.842C10.586 11.098 10.427 11.342 10.295 11.684C10.195 11.942 10.075 12.329 10.043 13.043C10.007 13.814 10 14.046 10 16C10 17.954 10.007 18.186 10.043 18.957C10.075 19.671 10.194 20.058 10.295 20.317C10.427 20.658 10.586 20.902 10.842 21.157C11.098 21.414 11.342 21.573 11.684 21.705C11.942 21.805 12.329 21.925 13.043 21.957C13.814 21.993 14.046 22 16 22C17.954 22 18.186 21.993 18.957 21.957C19.671 21.925 20.058 21.806 20.317 21.705C20.658 21.573 20.902 21.414 21.157 21.158C21.414 20.902 21.573 20.658 21.705 20.316C21.805 20.058 21.925 19.671 21.957 18.957C21.993 18.186 22 17.954 22 16C22 14.046 21.993 13.814 21.957 13.043C21.925 12.329 21.806 11.942 21.705 11.683C21.5876 11.3657 21.4007 11.0787 21.158 10.843C20.9219 10.5997 20.6341 10.4124 20.316 10.295C20.058 10.195 19.671 10.075 18.957 10.043C18.186 10.007 17.954 10 16 10ZM16 11.768C16.5558 11.768 17.1061 11.8775 17.6195 12.0901C18.133 12.3028 18.5995 12.6145 18.9925 13.0075C19.3855 13.4005 19.6972 13.867 19.9099 14.3805C20.1225 14.8939 20.232 15.4442 20.232 16C20.232 16.5558 20.1225 17.1061 19.9099 17.6195C19.6972 18.133 19.3855 18.5995 18.9925 18.9925C18.5995 19.3855 18.133 19.6972 17.6195 19.9099C17.1061 20.1225 16.5558 20.232 16 20.232C14.8776 20.232 13.8012 19.7861 13.0075 18.9925C12.2139 18.1988 11.768 17.1224 11.768 16C11.768 14.8776 12.2139 13.8012 13.0075 13.0075C13.8012 12.2139 14.8776 11.768 16 11.768ZM16 18.368C16.628 18.368 17.2303 18.1185 17.6744 17.6744C18.1185 17.2303 18.368 16.628 18.368 16C18.368 15.372 18.1185 14.7697 17.6744 14.3256C17.2303 13.8815 16.628 13.632 16 13.632C15.372 13.632 14.7697 13.8815 14.3256 14.3256C13.8815 14.7697 13.632 15.372 13.632 16C13.632 16.628 13.8815 17.2303 14.3256 17.6744C14.7697 18.1185 15.372 18.368 16 18.368ZM21.3 11.85C21.3 12.155 21.1788 12.4475 20.9632 12.6632C20.7475 12.8788 20.455 13 20.15 13C19.845 13 19.5525 12.8788 19.3368 12.6632C19.1212 12.4475 19 12.155 19 11.85C19 11.545 19.1212 11.2525 19.3368 11.0368C19.5525 10.8212 19.845 10.7 20.15 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ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="adslot adslot--hero" data-no-id="wyaqa"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH pagema-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear articlentent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx briclk" href="/sex-and-relatnships"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex and Relatnships</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">What It’s Like to Date Someone Who Looks Remarkably Like You</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hearaccredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">And why that isn’t all that unmon for gay upl.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss bylepreamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx bylename-lk button" href="/ntributor/chris-azzopardi">Chris Azzopardi</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2019-03-18T12:58:17-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">March 18, 2019</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hearsocial-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-inslist"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-assetntentphoto"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="man kissg himself the mirror" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptncred">Illtratn by Simon Abranowicz</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-inslist"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-bodyntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="bodyner-ntaer"><p>“So, you’re fuckg yourself,” my iends announced playfully, to my crgg dismay.</p><p>My phone was makg the post-dner rounds and the New Man Approval Commtee was hard at work, my most observant gay iends bg a selectn of Insta pics featurg the suor qutn, Trevor. They’d look down at a photo, then back at me. As they cracked up, I uld feel their crique g, but I wasn't prepared to feel as embarrassed by as I was. <em>Boyiend tws! Doppelbangers!</em> Or so they suggted.</p><p>Amed, they poted to my former mtache, then to the one he currently has. Our siar gym-worked builds were not lost on them eher; neher were our round, clear-amed specs. Later, one iend saw a snap of Trevor on a cise ship a pose like one he'd seen me before, texted me, and joked that he thought I’d gone on vatn. Not seeg what they were seeg (at first), I was genuely spooked that I was signg up for a lifetime of people thkg I liked to fuck myself. (Which, as a thg to <em>do,</em> sounds fantastilly nvenient, but as a thg to serly <em>thk and want</em>? My iends, my therapist, and <a href=">Dave Fran</a> would have strong opns about that.)</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>A fear I didn’t even know I’d be facg led me to nsult Google. My precise search terms—“What do mean when you date someone who looks like you?” and “Am I a narcissist?”—would surely tell me how to feel about this. I already knew I had to actively do everythg my power to set myself apart om Trevor, which meant was fely over for my mtache. <em>Obvly,</em> I'd get new glass, too. Then I revised the popular and wildly ntroversial <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">BOYFRIENDTWIN</a> Tumblr that first shook both gay and straight Twter 2014. This did not help: Was I one of them? And was that even a bad thg?</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-unslot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>I stopped Googlg and asked Dr. Harel Papikian, sperately quirg about my magic man-mirror, what meant, and whether I and we who urt same-sex sami are subnscly or nscly narcissistic. Papikian, a psychologist who treats same-sex clients at his Wt Hollywood practice, says such practice is not all that unual and—to my relief—<em>not narcissism</em>. Mostly ’s jt the evably of sirg another dick.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="adslot adslot---ntent" data-no-id="e5rpys"></div></div><p>“Same-sex attractn by fn means that we sire the body of our own sex," Papikian says. “Unlike straight upl, we n actually try and mold our own body, our appearance, and style to f what we nsir to be hot, sexy, and attractive. Boyiend tws n be simply the rult of our unique opportuny as gay men to mold ourselv the image of our sire.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Orlando-based Disney dads Steve Smh and Ben Gaetanos are sptg imag of each other, their -workers say. People even thk their child looks like both of them. Their child is adopted. “People see what they wanna see,” Smh says.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="pu6g6p"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="adslot adslot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="dyx4k"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>In terms of the uple’s siar physil appearanc, sure, they both have full, brownish, close-to-the-face beards; slenr builds (though Steve, at 5 feet 4, is a few ch shorter than Ben); and their hair, also brown, is styled a classic llege cut. They’ve been lled brothers before, and there was that time at Publix when a stranger lled them tws, which Smh says is a real stretch. Consirg their meet-cute—dng to play the same character for a Disneyland gig— n read like the two former <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Evan Hansens who now date each other, which, sorry, brgs new meang to “You Will Be Found.”</a> But Smh and Gaetanos actually bond over a shared love of theater, not a mutual yearng to Netflix and chill wh their doppelbanger.</p><p>Dr. Papikian says this gay-tw thg is unique to same-sex lookalik. He not that oppose-sex upl n obvly only look so much like each other, so for gay men, “there is greater cultural visibily and signifince to the lookalike boyiends phenomenon.”</p><p>Maybe that explas Smh’s ial hance to even be part of this story: His marriage is too often judged purely on superficial once-overs and terpreted as pure narcissism. Snap judgments—no, they don't want to be lled <em>gay tws</em> or <em>dad doubl,</em> and <em>fely</em> not brothers—make them crge, bee “ mak me qutn how I’m portrayed to the rt of the world and how I am perceived, as well as how we act towards each other," Smh says. "There is so much more to our relatnship and to who we are as dividuals.” The bum rap given to gay men who date men they sort of look like is unnecsary and shortsighted, nsirg the uplgs make a lot of psychologil sense, acrdg to Papikian.</p><p>“[It] creat a sense of ep faiary,” he says. “It go somethg like this: ‘You look the same as me, hence you <em>are</em> the same as me. And if you and I are the same, you see and know me jt as totally and pletely as I see and know myself.’ This fantasy of samens and mutual transparency n be a powerful aphrodisiac.” Perhaps most notably, “the same qualy of closens might be prent partners who look like reflectns of each other,” he adds.</p><p>The last time I saw my “datg double,” I looked at him differently, embracg jt how much we <em>are</em> alike: We are both vted health and fns (let me have this), and our bodi reflect that (I love that he wants to be my workout partner); we both feel sexy wh a ’stache (he wants me to brg me back, and I will and he don’t even have to shave his); and we both know good eyewear when we see . Not weird, not creepy. Gay science says so! <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Pla Abdul was wrong</a>! This <em>is</em> faiar, and that’s lovely and somethg I’m learng to cherish even if the world thks otherwise.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="9x324"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="body bodyle-barrier 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role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--article-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><asi class="RecircListTextOverlayWrapper-EAayj ikNPKA ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="recirc-listntaer"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ RecircListTextOverlayHeadg-icEzDE iUEiRd fWXTnu iCFeNq">Read More</hear><ul class="RecircListTextOverlayItems-kknlpG lpbERO recirc-listems hi-read-more-ad"><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackgimage-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/six-pack-abs-shouldnt-be-an-tegral-ponent-of-gay-culture-anymore"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Six-Pack Abs Shouldn’t Be an Integral Component of Gay Culture Anymore" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK 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Your Temperature on Toppg and Bottomg</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss bylepreamble">By </span>Alim Kheraj</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--read-more"><div class="adslot adslot--read-more" data-no-id="u6na8k"></div></div><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackgimage-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/the-year-lgbtq-pop-culture-broke-big-but-didnt-make-bank"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB 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Friend</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss bylepreamble">By </span>Nick Leve</span></span></p></div></div></a></li></ul></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt TaboolaWidget-eUSdED hQCCRa" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetWrapper"><div class="TaboolaWidgetContent-iBEQTO eXroXG TABOOLA" id="taboola-below-article-thumbnails" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetContent"></div></div></div></div><div class="SavgsUnedCouponsWrapper-gPnqA-d dJvybl"><div class="CouponGrid-bStwlh eCKeZn"><div class="SectnTleRoot-dBGvdq 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why do gay couples look alike

17 Nov 2024

And why that isn't all that unmon for gay upl.

WHY ARE SO MANY GAYS AND LBIANS ATTRACTED TO SAME-SEX PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THE OPPOSE SEX?

) More recently, social media has amplified romantic doppelgängers through viral posts and channels like the Tumblr Boyiend Tw, which celebrat gay upl who remble each other.

And while some experts have poted out that datg app filters that allow people to sort by race or relign enforce bias and homogeney, other rearch suggts that onle datg has overall led to more diverse upl. I hope I am not g off homophobic, but I always wonred why do some lbians hook up wh manly lookg women (not so much phsyil characteristics, but style of drs, short hair cuts, exgerated walks, etc)? I don't unrstand, if she wants to be gay, be gay.

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM WHY DO GAY COUPLES LOOK ALIKE

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data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/sex-and-relatnships"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex and Relatnships</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">What It’s Like to Date Someone Who Looks Remarkably Like You</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">And why that isn’t all that unmon for gay upl.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/chris-azzopardi">Chris Azzopardi</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2019-03-18T12:58:17-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">March 18, 2019</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="man kissg himself the mirror" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">Illtratn by Simon Abranowicz</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>“So, you’re fuckg yourself,” my iends announced playfully, to my crgg dismay.</p><p>My phone was makg the post-dner rounds and the New Man Approval Commtee was hard at work, my most observant gay iends bg a selectn of Insta pics featurg the suor qutn, Trevor. They’d look down at a photo, then back at me. As they cracked up, I uld feel their crique g, but I wasn't prepared to feel as embarrassed by as I was. <em>Boyiend tws! Doppelbangers!</em> Or so they suggted.</p><p>Amed, they poted to my former mtache, then to the one he currently has. Our siar gym-worked builds were not lost on them eher; neher were our round, clear-amed specs. Later, one iend saw a snap of Trevor on a cise ship a pose like one he'd seen me before, texted me, and joked that he thought I’d gone on vatn. Not seeg what they were seeg (at first), I was genuely spooked that I was signg up for a lifetime of people thkg I liked to fuck myself. (Which, as a thg to <em>do,</em> sounds fantastilly nvenient, but as a thg to serly <em>thk and want</em>? My iends, my therapist, and <a href=">Dave Fran</a> would have strong opns about that.)</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>A fear I didn’t even know I’d be facg led me to nsult Google. My precise search terms—“What do mean when you date someone who looks like you?” and “Am I a narcissist?”—would surely tell me how to feel about this. I already knew I had to actively do everythg my power to set myself apart om Trevor, which meant was fely over for my mtache. <em>Obvly,</em> I'd get new glass, too. Then I revised the popular and wildly ntroversial <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">BOYFRIENDTWIN</a> Tumblr that first shook both gay and straight Twter 2014. This did not help: Was I one of them? And was that even a bad thg?</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>I stopped Googlg and asked Dr. Harel Papikian, sperately quirg about my magic man-mirror, what meant, and whether I and we who urt same-sex sami are subnscly or nscly narcissistic. Papikian, a psychologist who treats same-sex clients at his Wt Hollywood practice, says such practice is not all that unual and—to my relief—<em>not narcissism</em>. Mostly ’s jt the evably of sirg another dick.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="e5rpys"></div></div><p>“Same-sex attractn by fn means that we sire the body of our own sex," Papikian says. “Unlike straight upl, we n actually try and mold our own body, our appearance, and style to f what we nsir to be hot, sexy, and attractive. Boyiend tws n be simply the rult of our unique opportuny as gay men to mold ourselv the image of our sire.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Orlando-based Disney dads Steve Smh and Ben Gaetanos are sptg imag of each other, their -workers say. People even thk their child looks like both of them. Their child is adopted. “People see what they wanna see,” Smh says.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="pu6g6p"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="dyx4k"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>In terms of the uple’s siar physil appearanc, sure, they both have full, brownish, close-to-the-face beards; slenr builds (though Steve, at 5 feet 4, is a few ch shorter than Ben); and their hair, also brown, is styled a classic llege cut. They’ve been lled brothers before, and there was that time at Publix when a stranger lled them tws, which Smh says is a real stretch. Consirg their meet-cute—dng to play the same character for a Disneyland gig— n read like the two former <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Evan Hansens who now date each other, which, sorry, brgs new meang to “You Will Be Found.”</a> But Smh and Gaetanos actually bond over a shared love of theater, not a mutual yearng to Netflix and chill wh their doppelbanger.</p><p>Dr. Papikian says this gay-tw thg is unique to same-sex lookalik. He not that oppose-sex upl n obvly only look so much like each other, so for gay men, “there is greater cultural visibily and signifince to the lookalike boyiends phenomenon.”</p><p>Maybe that explas Smh’s ial hance to even be part of this story: His marriage is too often judged purely on superficial once-overs and terpreted as pure narcissism. Snap judgments—no, they don't want to be lled <em>gay tws</em> or <em>dad doubl,</em> and <em>fely</em> not brothers—make them crge, bee “ mak me qutn how I’m portrayed to the rt of the world and how I am perceived, as well as how we act towards each other," Smh says. "There is so much more to our relatnship and to who we are as dividuals.” The bum rap given to gay men who date men they sort of look like is unnecsary and shortsighted, nsirg the uplgs make a lot of psychologil sense, acrdg to Papikian.</p><p>“[It] creat a sense of ep faiary,” he says. “It go somethg like this: ‘You look the same as me, hence you <em>are</em> the same as me. And if you and I are the same, you see and know me jt as totally and pletely as I see and know myself.’ This fantasy of samens and mutual transparency n be a powerful aphrodisiac.” Perhaps most notably, “the same qualy of closens might be prent partners who look like reflectns of each other,” he adds.</p><p>The last time I saw my “datg double,” I looked at him differently, embracg jt how much we <em>are</em> alike: We are both vted health and fns (let me have this), and our bodi reflect that (I love that he wants to be my workout partner); we both feel sexy wh a ’stache (he wants me to brg me back, and I will and he don’t even have to shave his); and we both know good eyewear when we see . Not weird, not creepy. Gay science says so! <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Pla Abdul was wrong</a>! This <em>is</em> faiar, and that’s lovely and somethg I’m learng to cherish even if the world thks otherwise.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="9x324"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body 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WHY ARE SO MANY GAYS AND LBIANS ATTRACTED TO SAME-SEX PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THE OPPOSE SEX?

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM WHY DO GAY COUPLES LOOK ALIKE

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WHY ARE SO MANY GAYS AND LBIANS ATTRACTED TO SAME-SEX PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THE OPPOSE SEX?

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* WHY DO GAY COUPLES LOOK ALIKE

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM WHY DO GAY COUPLES LOOK ALIKE