The Gospel for a Gay Friend

Contents:

• THE POPE SAYS GOD MA GAY PEOPLE JT AS WE SHOULD BE – HERE’S WHY HIS MENTS MATTER
• THE GOSPEL FOR A GAY FRIEND
• ‘GOD MA ME GAY’
• “GOD MA ME GAY FOR A REASON”: YOUNG MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN’S RILIENCY ROLVG INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA OM RELIG SOURC
• WHY DO GOD MAKE PEOPLE GAY AND THEN SAY YOU CAN’T BE THAT WAY?
• 10 REASONS GOD LOV GAY CHRISTIANS
• DO GOD MAKE PEOPLE GAY? A THEOLOGIAN RPONDS
• DID GOD MAKE ME GAY?
• “WHY DID GOD MAKE ME GAY?”

THE POPE SAYS GOD MA GAY PEOPLE JT AS WE SHOULD BE – HERE’S WHY HIS MENTS MATTER

In a speech at a gay-advocy fundraiser Sunday, Democratic printial ndidate Pete Buttigieg fend his homosexualy a remark aimed at vice print Mike Pence, a proponent of tradnal marriage. If by gay you mean “a person who engag homosexual behavr, ” then God don’t make someone gay any more than he mak someone an adulterer, a fornitor, or a man who has relatns wh jt his wife.

THE GOSPEL FOR A GAY FRIEND

This appeal to personal experience is so pellg to so many people that Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen, their 1989 “gay manifto” After the Ball, remend that homosexual advot work to persua the public that “gays are victims of circumstance, that they no more chose their sexual orientatn than they did, say, their height, sk lor, talents, or limatns. Gays should be nsired to have been “born gay”—even though sexual orientatn, for most humans, seems to be the product of a plex teractn between nate predisposns and environmental factors durg childhood and early adolcence.

Even though ’s a good example of an ner sire that most people agree we shouldn’t act on (though ’s creasgly beg viewed clil circl as a “sexual orientatn” like any other), most people will jt hear you sayg that “homosexualy is the same as pedophilia. He is warng of the nsequenc associated wh acts of stealg, adultery, and homosexual behavr (for a rponse to people who say Pl and the Bible do not really nmn homosexual behavr, click here).

Given the unique velopmental stage of emergg adults and the fact that most religns have rtrictns on homosexual behavr, is important to unrstand how YMSM tegrate their sexual and relig/spirual inti. Keywords: relign, spirualy, gay, young men who have sex wh men, ternalized homophobiaThere has been a growg body of rearch foced on the relatnship between religsy and adolcent health and well-beg (Nonnemaker, McNeely, & Blum, 2003; Werner & Smh, 1992). Given the unique velopmental stage of adolcence and emergg adulthood and the fact that most religns across the globe offer teachgs that nmn or rtrict homosexual behavr, is particularly important to unrstand YMSM’s experienc and challeng as they stggle to tegrate their sexual inty wh their relig/spirual beliefs.

‘GOD MA ME GAY’

Rearch among olr populatns of MSM and other lbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) adults dite that religsy n ntribute to inty dissonance between sexual sir and relig beliefs for sexual mory dividuals, which n be rolved by changg religns, reexamg relig texts and doctre, abandong relign, or turng to a more dividualized sense of spirualy (Leong, 2006; Schuck & Liddle, 2001; Thumms, 1991; Yip, 1997, 2005). Mory Strs and Internalized HomophobiaInternalized homophobia, also referred to as ternalized heterosexism (Szymanski & Chung, 2003) or sexual prejudice (Herek, 2004), n be fed as directg anti-gay social attus towards the self, leadg to a valuatn of the self, ternal nflicts and poor self-regard (Meyer & Dean, 1998).

“GOD MA ME GAY FOR A REASON”: YOUNG MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN’S RILIENCY ROLVG INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA OM RELIG SOURC

Internalized homophobia has also been lked to substance abe, lower levels of self teem and eatg disorrs among both gay and lbian populatns (Cabaj, 1996; Ross & Simon Rosser, 1996; Rowen & Mallm, 2002; Williamson & Hartley, 1998). Followg on this work, Ream (2001) found that trsic religsy was not herently a risk factor for ternalized homophobia among sexual mory youth; rather, the homophobic msag often prent relig views and livered a relig ntext tend to predict ternalized homophobia.

Rter and O’Neill (1989) reported that gays and lbians their sample often moved away om the relign they were raised and also veloped a range of ways to pe wh and grow om their enunters wh relig homophobia. G., relig, school) such as: avoidg church altogether, seekg an alternative church, or g “selective listeng” to avoid ternalizg homophobic msag (McDavt et al., 2009) the range of cisns and experienc that YMSM will make durg their emergg adulthood, is important to unrstand the procs and growth that young men experience while sortg out potential nflicts between relig/spirual beliefs and their sexual inty.

WHY DO GOD MAKE PEOPLE GAY AND THEN SAY YOU CAN’T BE THAT WAY?

Young men were eligible to participate the study if they were: a) 18- to 24-years old; b) self-intified as gay, bisexual, or uncerta of their sexual orientatn and/or reported havg had sex wh a man; c) self-intified as Csian, Ain Amerin, or Lato of Mexin scent; and d) a rint of Los Angel County, and they anticipated livg Los Angel for at least six men were reced at public venu (e.

Axial dg was then nducted to piece the data back together to fully scribe the procs, leadg to the stcture of this paper which scrib: 1) the homophobic msag heard relig ntexts; 2) how the msag were ternalized; 3) the effects of the msag on inty and self perceptn; and 4) the often plited strategi the young men employed to pe wh the msag and ntue their spirual, relig, and/or personal velopment. The majory of the HYM sample (81%) intified as gay, wh 12% intifyg as 1Dcriptn of the Study Sample om Wave 3 Survey (N = 483) and Qualative Study (N = 36)VariablCategoriTotal Sample n (%)Qualative Rponnts n (%)Age18 – 19 yrs88 (18)6 (17)20 – 21 yrs195 (40)18 (50)22+ yrs200 (41)12 (33)Race/ethnicyAin- Amerin115 (24)12 (33)Csian192 (40)12 (33)Mexin scent176 (36)12 (33)RinceFay237 (49)16 (44)Own place/apartment203 (42)17 (47)Wh iends/partner31 (6)1 (3)No regular place/other12 (3)2 (6)EmploymentIn school50 (10)6 (17)In school, employed149 (31)6 (17)Employed, not school235 (49)19 (53)Not employed, not school49 (10)5 (14)Edutn levelLs than high school26 (5)2 (6)High school/GED110 (23)6 (17)Votnal17 (4)- (0)Some llege284 (59)26 (72)College gree46 (10)2 (6)Sexual intyGay390 (81)28 (77)Other same-sex inty23 (5)2 (6)Bisexual57 (12)4 (11)Straight6 (1)--Don’t know/Refe7 (1)2 (6)Sexual attractnMal only339 (70)25 (69)Mal and femal131 (27)10 (28)Femal only7 (1)1 (3)Neher/don’t know6 (1)--Immigratn statBorn outsi US74 (15)7 (19)Born US407 (84)29 (81)Level of religsyNot at all relig138 (29)10 (28)Not very relig124 (26)14 (39)Somewhat relig172 (36)11 (31)Very relig43 (9)1 (3)Level of spirualyNot at all spirual37 (8)4 (11)Not very spirual60 (13)8 (22)Somewhat spirual216 (45)12 (33)Very spirual168 (35)12 (33)Table 2 prents data related to relig affiliatn and the past and prent role of relign and spirualy rponnts’ liv. 6)2 (6)Don’t know/Refed7 (1)1 (3)Changed relignY257 (53)19 (53)QualativeSourc of Msag about Homosexualy Among the qualative rponnts, all thirty-six reported beg raised a relign that uld be classified as Christian (e.

In the church, was not unmon for rponnts to report that sermons seemed to often return to the subject of homosexualy, makg the young men feel unfortable or fearful as Royal, an Ain Amerin rponnt who reported that both his grandmother and mother were pastors a Christian church, scrib:It’s like he [the pastor] would preach a different thg but would always go back to homosexuals and sexualy for some reason. And he seemed like he looked ad at me and ’s like, “Gays would go to hell, ” and stuff like that…And ’s like every time he would say that, would always seem like he was sayg directly to me and would sre me. Man whose fay nverted om Catholicism to Prottantism explaed:Yeah, I remember beg a Catholic church and not hearg anythg about homosexuals at all…It wasn’t until I got to the Prottant church that was blatantly like brimstone, hell fire…He [the pastor] would start to preach about God and blah, blah, blah.

10 REASONS GOD LOV GAY CHRISTIANS

‘But the people this untry, the gays, oh my god pecially the gays…The gays and the lbians and the atheists and the socialists, they are gog to brg this untry down and this untry was found on the grace of God’ many adolcents, about half of the YMSM this study felt they had few choic whether or not they attend relig servic growg up.

”Rponnts who heard repeated homophobic msag (some of the more relig young men reported gog to church four or five tim a week) scribed different procs they employed to evaluate the msag to their personal belief system. ” Rodrigo, a young man who scribed himself as “spirual”, was born to a Catholic hoehold, and after his mother nverted to a nservative Evangelil church, he scribed a lengthy ternal stggle as this newer relign tght that homosexuals had a “mon” si of them:In the Evangelil belief, ’s not that ’s [homosexualy] jt a s, ’s a mon si of you…whenever they did mentn that, they’d say ‘Ooh, this person has the mon them.

Mart scribed how his brother would tell him that he was “no earthly good”, which he said “felt ugly and ma me feel ugly” and ultimately ma him leave this hoe as well:My brother knew I was gay and when I broke out of my shell, I got more volved I would want to have Bible ssns at my hoe.

DO GOD MAKE PEOPLE GAY? A THEOLOGIAN RPONDS

And he liked the fact that I was beg more volved but ’s like he’ll sometim try to cut short…So then we had a discsn about me, about me and my sexualy and he said that I am heavenly md but no earthly good…Meang I n thk about God and pray about God and talk about God as much as I want but I am no earthly good bee I am gay…I am a sner. In the most severe s, rponnts reported beg a prsive state, ntemplatg suici, and fastg or overeatg to alleviate their feelgs of spair and the most mon exprsns of what we nsir to be ternalized homophobia were rponnts’ ntug qutng of themselv, wonrg if the fact that they were attracted to other men tomatilly meant that they would not “be saved.

”Some rponnts scribed that hearg how “wrong” beg gay was ma them start to not only qutn their “goodns” as a human beg, but also to velop what some scribed as a sense of self hatred that rulted some young men wantg to hi that part of themselv, and wh some datg women or wearg “straight” cloth as a way to flect attentn. And that’s okay, bee I’m never myself anyways and I’ve always been numb a lot of several rponnts, hidg a part of their inty reprented a lie that they characterized as another burn or s addn to their s of havg homosexual feelgs.

DID GOD MAKE ME GAY?

I hid the shadows…I slowly started to hate myself, hate relign and hate everybody who believed bee I was this and God ma me like some s, particularly those who were raised more nservative religns, the homophobic msag rulted feelgs of distrs, prsn and suicidaly, particularly for those who relied on the church muny for a great al of social support. Ignac scribed hidg his sexual attractn to other men om his iends and havg secret “gay dat” where afterwards he would go home and tell himself “this is wrong” and he would feel “sick si” to where he would throw up. He fasted to “feel closer to God”, and reported g dgs and alhol to numb the pa he felt, tryg to rencile his homosexualy wh the negative msag he heard om his church:What I did was stead of fdg proper help, maybe talkg to a unselor or somethg, I got to this huge prsn and ’s ridiculo but…I would fast four or five tim a week bee I felt that I need to be closer to God.

” This perspective helped them see God as more acceptg, and to live acrdance wh an ner sense of their thentic inty:The pastor was preachg about gays and how homosexualy is a s and how guys are supposed to be wh a girl. ”One strategy rponnts employed to procs homophobic relig msag was to crilly evaluate the source of the msage, cludg the origs of the relig text and the relig dividuals who exprsed anti-gay sentiments.

Rponnts observed that “p dividuals” makg antigay remarks monstrated their hypocrisy, pecially when those dividuals engaged what rponnts intified as sful, dishont, or morally qutnable behavr such as adultery or, one se, throwg a “passn party” wh paid strippers. That also helped me al wh my gayns too… My mother would tell me when I was ltle, “People will always tell you ‘You got the splter your eye, ’ but won’t notice the mon hang out of their’s’.

“WHY DID GOD MAKE ME GAY?”

Ivan had been told by his parents that his homosexualy was due to a lack of paternal volvement; however, he disagreed wh their view bee he relled feelg “different” at an early age:When you are younger, ’s like you know that you are different but you don’t know why you are different and when you grow up you start to realize that… I knew I was [gay]. Several rponnts wh relig upbrggs had been told by adults that prayer uld make them heterosexual, and such arguments were often rerced wh stori of gay people who had bee heterosexual through prayer. Explorg the beliefs sometim led the young men to pick aspects om the belief system that they rporated to their part of their exploratn tryg to fd a relign or fah that would provi them wh this tranquily and acceptance, several rponnts reported havg vised or wantg to vis a “gay church.

Havg been raised the Catholic fah, he explaed that marriage was the only “re Catholic value” that he would not achieve, but this church seemed to give him some hope that gay marriage may someday be a realy. ”However, rponnts did not always feel fortable wh the ia of attendg a “gay church”, and dog so was particularly challengg for those who had been brought up nservative religns or hoeholds. ” The church and what they preached were difficult for some to procs, wh Royal remarkg that while his mother was beg more acceptg of his sexual inty, he would not feel at all fortable brgg her to that church, scribg his difficulti as:When I was the Christian church Tennsee, they’re like beg gay is not of God.