How to Have a Gay or Lbian Relatnship: 7 Steps (wh Pictur)

Contents:

• HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP
• GAY AND LBIAN RELATNSHIP ADVICE
• GENR ROL THE RELATNSHIPS OF LBIANS AND GAY MEN
• BEG INVOLVED A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP
• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
• UNRSTANDG GAY & LBIAN INTI
• INTIMACY AND EMOTN WORK LBIAN, GAY, AND HETEROSEXUAL RELATNSHIPS

HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP

Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience.

GAY AND LBIAN RELATNSHIP ADVICE

Helpful rpons of a therapist treatg an dividual who is troubled about her or his same sex attractns clu helpg that person actively pe wh social prejudic agast homosexualy, succsfully rolve issu associated wh and rultg om ternal nflicts, and actively lead a happy and satisfyg life. The phrase “g out” is ed to refer to several aspects of lbian, gay, and bisexual persons’ experienc: self-awarens of same-sex attractns; the tellg of one or a few people about the attractns; wispread disclosure of same-sex attractns; and intifitn wh the lbian, gay, and bisexual muny.

Lbian, gay, and bisexual youth who do well spe strs—like all adolcents who do well spe strs—tend to be those who are socially petent, who have good problem-solvg skills, who have a sense of tonomy and purpose, and who look forward to the future. If they are a heterosexual relatnship, their experienc may be que siar to those of people who intify as heterosexual unls they choose to e out as bisexual; that se, they will likely face some of the same prejudice and discrimatn that lbian and gay dividuals enunter. Her experienc workg wh this system allowed Kensgton to velop a ep appreciatn for the stggl and triumphs of her clients navigatg the plexi of culture, relign, fay, and self inty that many gay and lbian dividuals and upl face on their journey of growth.

Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002).

GENR ROL THE RELATNSHIPS OF LBIANS AND GAY MEN

The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups. An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:.

BEG INVOLVED A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP

The children raised by gay and lbian parents experienced unually high levels of extreme social ostracism and overt hostily om other children and parents, which probably acunted for the former's lower levels of teractn and social tegratn wh peers (see pp.

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children. Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). Many years ago, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn removed "homosexualy" om s list of mental disorrs, statg that "homosexualy per se impli no impairment judgment, stabily, reliabily, or general social or votnal pabili" (Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, 1974).

UNRSTANDG GAY & LBIAN INTI

The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980). There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980). Beliefs that lbian and gay adults are not f parents likewise have no empiril foundatn (Anrssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995).

INTIMACY AND EMOTN WORK LBIAN, GAY, AND HETEROSEXUAL RELATNSHIPS

A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991).

For stance, one such ncern is that children brought up by lbian mothers or gay fathers will show disturbanc genr inty and/or genr role behavr (Falk, 1989, 1994; Hchens & Kirkpatrick, 1985; Kleber, Howell, & Tibbs-Kleber, 1986; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). For example, urts have exprsed fears that children the ctody of gay or lbian parents will be more vulnerable to mental breakdown, will exhib more adjtment difficulti and behavr problems, and will be ls psychologilly healthy than other children.