Why Do Women Prefer Gay Men as Friends? | Psychology Today

women with gay friends

15 Dec 2024

Could gay guys be the ultimate wg men for their straight, male iends?

WHY DO WOMEN PREFER GAY MEN AS FRIENDS?

A lack of anxiety related to gay men's sexual tent creas women's fort. * women with gay friends *

LoopedLife is a social work that nnects gay men and straight women for iendship, meet-ups, advice sharg, gog out, and volunteerg at LGBT events! Our missn is to provi a safe space for both women and gay men to nnect and share what matters to them.

In other words, they examed how iendship velopment vari based on whether a straight woman is makg iends wh a gay man or a straight man.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

* women with gay friends *

Past rearch has shown that straight women and gay men form close relatnships due to an apparent creased willgns to engage timate nversatns1. Some have suggted that this may be bee straight men and women are perceived as havg ls mon wh each other pared to straight women and gay men2. This explanatn, however, is based on the stereotypil assumptns about gay men and femy.

Consequently, rearchers at the Universy of Texas explored an alternate potential explanatn: Straight women may velop iendships wh gay men more easily than they do wh straight men, bee when teractg wh gay men, the necsy of worryg about whether the potential iend will seek to ga sexual accs to them has been removed om the equatn3. Participants aga dited how fortable they thought they would be while ntug to teract wh the man after learng of his sexual inty (eher gay or straight).

As the rearchers had predicted, the rults monstrated that women anticipate beg more fortable teractg wh gay men vers straight men, largely due to the removal of ncerns related to the man’s sexual tentns. Women reported feelg more fortable when they found out that their hypothetil male nversatn partner was gay, rather than straight, and this associatn was explaed by their rced anxiety about the man’s sexual tentns. When women found out they were teractg wh gay men, their body language beme more engagg and timate.

MEN AND WOMEN AS FRIENDS – WHEN ONE IS GAY OR LBIAN

The women reported greater fort levels when teractg wh gay men pared to straight men. However, the effects changed based on a woman’s level of perceived attractivens, such that only women who rated themselv as beg more attractive reported creased fort while teractg wh a gay man. Addnally, women’s actual behavr also shifted after learng that they were teractg wh a gay man.

WHY ARE STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN SUCH GOOD IENDS? IT’S ALL ABOUT THE RELATNSHIP ADVICE: STUDY

"Explic knowledge of a man’s sexual preference not only creased a woman’s fort wh a gay man (vs.

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM WOMEN WITH GAY FRIENDS

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nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-riser"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="dhjcse"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/sex-and-relatnships"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex and Relatnships</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">The Men Who Have Mostly Female Friends</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">For the guys, “emotnal sharg” is more important.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/lren-larson">Lren Larson</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2019-05-09T08:58:03-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">May 9, 2019</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="I LOVE YOU MAN om left Rashida Jon Pl Rudd 2009" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">© DreamWorks/Courty Everett Collectn</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p><strong>Tom, 27, first noticed</strong> that his iendships were skewg womanward llege. Sce then, he’s found even more difficult to make male iends. “It really is easier for me to jt be sual wh women, and eventually bee iends, rather than dus,” he says of his platonic iendships. “Maybe that's a problem on my part.”</p><p>Tom isn’t the only one who has noticed the genr imbalance of his relatnships. Recently, when he had a few acquatanc over to watch wrtlg—he’s actively tryg to cultivate male iends—he took a picture of the group hangg out and sent to his roommate. She rpond immediately, “I had no ia you had this many male iends!” There were four men the photograph. Tom scrolled through his recent texts: Of the ten iends he’s texted most recently, all except one are female.</p><p>Friendships between men and women are on the rise the U.S. In recent tim, there’s been ls cultural skepticism around iendships between gay men and straight women—though those relatnships n also be <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">ght</a>—but platonic relatnships between straight, unmarried men and women are still subject to some spicn, particularly beyond childhood. In his 2008 book <em>Buddy System: Unrstandg Male Friendships,</em> Geofey Greif, Ph.D., a profsor at the Universy of Maryland School of Social Work, wrote that 65 percent of women and 75 percent of men reported havg nonsexual iendships wh the oppose genr. (He attributed the reported discrepancy to the subjectivy of relatnships, and nclud that an equal percentage of men and women have platonic iendships. I attribute the difference to typil male hubris.) Greif says that the number of men platonic iendships wh women has likely creased sce he published <em>Buddy System</em>.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>The rise of male-female relatnships general has also ma way for guys like Tom, whose iends are almost all women. Tom and the other men I spoke to for this piece, all of whom have wi works of close female iends, are enuragg unterpots to last week’s viral say <a href="><em>Harper’s Bazaar</em></a>. Wrer Melanie Hamlett scribed straight men as “strand on an emotnally-stunted island” wh no iends, theorizg that many men, lackg timate male iendships, are actg like “emotnal gold diggers” toward their wiv and girliends. “Men are tght that feelgs are a female thg,” one woman told Hamlett. Th, Hamlett theorized, men save their emotnal sharg for their partner, whereas women are more likely to share their feelgs wh a work of <a href=">therapists</a> and iends.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>Hamlett c one man, who started a “men’s group” to create a non-threateng space to share feelgs. “I need support and timacy that wasn’t tied up to one relatnship,” he said. But Hamlett’s say don’t addrs the men who regnize the importance of emotnal sharg, and who seek that out not jt om one woman but om a work of iends. Those men aren’t necsarily the emotnal paras that Hamlett scrib. Rather, my experience, iendships wh men n be very symbtic: They listen well, they know how and when to give advice, and they brg a unique perspective to my grievanc.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="zy5ot"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="pygqa"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>While I disagree wh Hamlett’s implitn that men are pable of “unpaid emotnal labor” their relatnships—I have <a href=">scream-cried my feelgs</a> at many, many men—I do see where the archetypal male iendship, which is built on sports and beer, might preclu the airg of feelgs. That mol is culturally rerced to the extent that, for a long time, men wh mostly female iends were objects of spicn. I remember feelg a vague mistst toward Adam Driver’s character <em>Girls</em> when all his iends were revealed to be women a 2012 episo. And, a few years later, I shyly nonted the man I was datg about why he didn’t have any male iends (he had never thought about before) and then ls shyly suated that he had hooked up wh one of his female iends (they started datg after we broke up).</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="n3w15m"></div></div><p>Now the trop about men wh mostly close female iends look archaic: It seems very ’80s—very <a href="><em>When Harry Met Sally</em></a>—to assume that a man who spends most of his time wh women is jt tryg to hook up wh them, or that he’s gay. Perhaps bee #MeToo has ma me more aware of the ill effects of masculy when ’s ncentrated a toxic clique, I feel unsettled by men who <em>don’t</em> have female iends. It’s like lookg at a man’s bookshelf and seeg only <a href=">Christopher Hchens</a> tl.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Greif attribut the crease platonic iendships to more equaly the workplace, and stronger polici and better tn surroundg sexual harassment. (I’d also suggt that efforts to make llege mp more female-iendly, first wh the genis of -ed lleg and more recently wh attempts to make mp safer for women, has led to a stronger astcture for -ed iendships.) “Rather than havg the experience that my father had, where the only woman he would see at the workplace was brgg him his ffee, men and women are now -equals at work,” Greif says. “That opens up a different kd of relatnship, which is more apt to lead to a platonic iendship than ever before.”</p><p>Friendships between superrs and subordat are still rare today— <em>Mad Men</em> tim, when boss were mostly male and women primarily reported to them, platonic iendships at work were even more unlikely. Now we expect men to make themselv available to female -workers as iends and mentors, and vice versa. When Vice Print Mike Pence said that he wouldn’t de alone wh any woman except his wife, the backlash was immediate: Pence’s puranil ristance to unchaperoned ch-chat wh women at work was seen as discrimatory and antiquated.</p><p>While the office is a mon place for men and women to velop relatnships (the term <a href=">“work wife”</a> has slipped quietly to the “this sounds sexist” class of phras), some men are chronic beienrs of women and out of the office. They bee close wh their girliends’ iends or their female roommate’s iends, they velop iendships wh women they date when don’t work out, or they make one female iend at work and their circle spirals out om there.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="myimr"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg 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summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The 20 Bt New Menswear Items to Buy This Week" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The 20 Bt New Menswear Items to Buy This Week</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>The Edors of GQ</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si 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siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Bt Menswear Deals of the Week" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Bt Menswear Deals of the Week</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>The Edors of GQ</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Every Piece of Menswear You Should Own 2023" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Every Piece of Menswear You Should Own 2023</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Gerald Ortiz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw dacLSS ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="6kcj7o"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs joBAUg"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="lkl1ri"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Several such men tell me that they, like Tom, feel ls prsure to perform stoicism for their female iends. Greif says most people tend to feel more relaxed wh people who are like themselv, but that some people jt don’t enjoy spendg time wh their “reference group.” Jake, 27, says he nnects better wh women bee he don’t enjoy the stereotypil tw pillars of male hangs: sports and drkg. In a survey Greif nducted, 80 percent of men said that most of their time wh male iends is spent discsg sports. “There are women that talk about sports, and there are men that don’t jt talk about sports,” Greif adds. “But there’s a sense that if you’re a man and you want to make iends wh a man, you’re better off if you eher played sports or are able to talk a ltle b about sports.” A study <a href="><em>Sex Rol</em></a> suggted that men bond over activi—like sports, vio gam, and gog out to bars to meet women—and rerved “emotnal sharg” for their oppose-sex partners. Women, acrdg to the study, jt kd of marated each other’s pany.</p><p>Particularly llege and beyond, Jake says, he found that he preferred the way women nnect—all the iends he’s ma sce he was 12 are women. “I uld jt be genue,” he says, “and not be judged for wantg to talk about how I feel.” It’s a cliché that women get together and “talk about our feelgs,” but my experience wh my female and male iends, women often go right for the emotnal throat of a nversatn, where may take most men several beers to mence ventg.</p><p>Greif thks that men feel more fortable emotnal sharg wh women bee children are still mostly socialized by women. One five children are <a href=">livg wh a sgle mother</a>, and the children particular may fd that bee their formative relatnships were entirely wh women, they nnect more easily wh women as adults. That’s certaly te for Tom. “I didn’t have a man the hoehold growg up,” he says. “Talkg to women has always been my flt when I want to talk about somethg ser. Or even when I jt want to shoot the sh.”</p><p>Children not raised by sgle mothers are also more likely to have been socialized mostly by women. In spe of a very mendable mory of fathers who spl child re equally wh their partners, mothers still spend almost twice as many hours per week on child re as fathers do, acrdg to analysis om <a href=">Pew Rearch Center</a>, published last year a ceptively cheerful Mother’s Day dispatch. And the <a href=">Natnal Center for Edutn Statistics</a> recently reported that 89 percent of primary-school teachers are women. “What happens then,” Greif explas, “is that men feel general very fortable talkg to women and also feel fortable talkg to women about their feelgs.” I image myself as the matriarch of my male iends, holdg them to my bosom, Pietà-like, whisperg soothg ton while they vent about their unrequed csh on other women—and feel unsettled.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="qr42eh"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot 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cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The 20 Bt New Menswear Items to Buy This Week" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The 20 Bt New Menswear Items to Buy This Week</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>The Edors of GQ</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Bt Menswear Deals of the Week" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Bt Menswear Deals of the Week</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>The Edors of GQ</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Every Piece of Menswear You Should Own 2023" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Every Piece of Menswear You Should Own 2023</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Gerald Ortiz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw dacLSS ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="pu5gv"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs joBAUg"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="ntpwyg"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>One 25-year-old man, who has assembled a large hort of female iends through work, says that when he broke up wh his girliend recently, he mostly discsed the breakup wh his female iends. When he tried to talk to other men about , he found that they were at different levels of emotnal leracy: Of his two male iends, he says, one was very receptive to breakup talk, but one beme very unfortable. “It was awkward. As I was talkg to him, he was like, ‘Yeah, that's kd of how go,’ ” he rells. “I was like, ‘That's not how I want to talk about this.’ Wh my iends who are girls, there's a sharg of experienc, which mak better to talk about.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>He adds that he’s wonrg whether his iendships wh women will change post-breakup. Havg a girliend ma him feel a lot more fortable cultivatg platonic female iendships, bee gave him a built- barrier agast the relatnship turng romantic, though he says he often wonred whether his girliend thought was strange that he had so many female iends. He says that he’d spected, early on, that his clost female iend didn’t want their iendship to be platonic, but that they’d never discsed . “You do keep some kd of emotnal distance until you n make clear that 's platonic,” he says. “Now that I don't have a girliend, I thk I'm kd of cur how 's gog to go. I'm cur about how I would make a new iend who is a girl now.”</p><p>The tensn he scrib is one of four major challeng to “cross-sex iendship” outled a <a href=">1989 study</a> <em>Sex Rol</em>. The challeng are: termg whether the relatnship is non-romantic or romantic; discsg attractn, which may still be prent even when the relatnship has been clared non-romantic; “alg wh the issue of relatnship equaly wh a cultural ntext of genr equaly,” a challenge that, as Greif suggts, has been slightly mimized by creased workplace equaly; and “prentg the relatnship as thentic to relevant dienc.” Which is to say, nvcg your other iends—and, crilly, your girliend—that you’re not tryg to bone your cross-sex pal.</p><p>Tom says he’s ncerned that people thk he hangs out wh women bee he’s tryg to hook up wh them. Some of his iendships <em>have</em> grown om suatns where one of them has tried to hook up wh the other, but he says that those s the dynamic is now clear, for the most part. I ask him how he draws the le between romantic and non-romantic, hopg for some secret that will allow men and women to live platonic harmony, havg meangful discsns about #MeToo over rosé.</p><p>“Sometim you don’t,” he says, “and sometim ’s odd, and sometim for a while you’re jt like, ‘Are they flirtg wh me? Am I flirtg wh them? Am I worried about that?’ Eventually you jt end up not datg.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="hckwj"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer 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media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Meet the Masked Rapper Who Claims to Play the Premier League" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">GQ Sports</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">Meet the Masked Rapper Who Claims to Play the Premier League</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Amos Barshad</span></span></p></div></div></a></li></ul></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt TaboolaWidget-eUSdED hQCCRa" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetWrapper"><div class="TaboolaWidgetContent-iBEQTO eXroXG TABOOLA" id="taboola-below-article-thumbnails" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetContent"></div></div></div></div><div class="SavgsUnedCouponsWrapper-gPnqA-d dJvybl"><div class="CouponGrid-bStwlh eCKeZn"><div class="SectnTleRoot-dBGvdq klEKWz SavgsUnedCouponsSectnTle-ffHT cVDRuh" data-ttid="SectnTle"><h2 class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SectnTleHed-dKqZet dxqEAa cRNJgA jttyjJ"><a href=">GQ 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Why Do Women Prefer Gay Men as Friends? | Psychology Today

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Contents:

WHY DO WOMEN PREFER GAY MEN AS FRIENDS?

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

MEN AND WOMEN AS FRIENDS – WHEN ONE IS GAY OR LBIAN

WHY ARE STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN SUCH GOOD IENDS? IT’S ALL ABOUT THE RELATNSHIP ADVICE: STUDY

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM WOMEN WITH GAY FRIENDS

Why Do Women Prefer Gay Men as Friends? | Psychology Today

Recent Posts

Tags

Contents:

WHY DO WOMEN PREFER GAY MEN AS FRIENDS?

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

MEN AND WOMEN AS FRIENDS – WHEN ONE IS GAY OR LBIAN

WHY ARE STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN SUCH GOOD IENDS? IT’S ALL ABOUT THE RELATNSHIP ADVICE: STUDY

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* WOMEN WITH GAY FRIENDS

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM WOMEN WITH GAY FRIENDS