Are You Gay? (For Girls)

Contents:

• CALL ME BY MY PRONOUNS: WHY GAY MEN CALL EACH OTHER "GIRL"
• I'M A GAY GUY, BUT THERE'S THIS GIRL....
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS
• AM I GAY/STRAIGHT? ?️‍? (FEMALE EDN)
• ARE YOU GAY? (FOR GIRLS)
• THE GAY-O-METER! ?️‍? LGBTQ QUIZ
• WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?

CALL ME BY MY PRONOUNS: WHY GAY MEN CALL EACH OTHER "GIRL"

The e of she/her pronouns by cisgenr gay men, along wh words such as "girl" or "honey, " is a long-standg and creasgly visible practice.

For many gay men, g the words wh their iends is a way of embracg femy and showg vulnerabily or affectn to others who share their inti. Creatg a shared culture — cludg language — around femy n be a way of reclaimg the bas for opprsn many gay men have experienced, as well as disptg the harmful genr few if any lguistic practic are all one thg, all the time. It may be time to reevaluate cis gay men’s e of words like "she" and "girl" to make sure they align wh ongog efforts to rpect nonbary genr inti, and avoid makg assumptns about people’s pronouns.

I'M A GAY GUY, BUT THERE'S THIS GIRL....

Lguists, social scientists, and crics have observed and studied cis gay men’s e of “she, ” and their asssments pot to the multiple and often nflictg dimensns of the practice. So for even to make sense for gay men to e ‘she, ’ we have to have some kd of associatn wh ‘she, ’ and ually that associatn is femy, whatever that might mean to or our culture. “Men g women’s pronouns, and women g men’s pronouns, has got an enormo time pth Amerin lbian-gay English.

It’s not a recent formatn at all, ” explas William Leap, an emer profsor of anthropology at Amerin Universy and pneerg expert on queer men llg each other "she" or "girl" was historilly a way of protectg themselv as well as buildg muny the ntext of homophobic and vlent mastream culture. In the 1940s, ary censors were on the lookout for evince of homosexualy, which uld provoke a ary vtigatn.

”Usg words like "she" and "girl" n be a way for cis gay men to bond and embrace femy.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

”Yet some women have experienced gay men g words like “girl” toward them ways that don’t feel all that different om the misogyny they have experienced om straight men. “I also saw beg negatively ed when whe gay men would say, like, ‘Oh girl, what are you talkg about, ’ and they would be talkg to a woman of lor, pecially a Black woman.

”Consirg misogyny wh gay men’s language practic rais the qutn of how g words like “girl” or “honey” is nnected to their e of other, more ntroversial words that have historilly been ed to mean women, such as “bch” and “cunt. ” Multiple terviewe referenced RuPl’s Drag Race as a show that has popularized the e of words associated wh femy among cis gay men. ”“Gay men are a large group of people wh a lot of different kds of relatnships to genr, and I thk there are absolutely gay men who operate relatn to feme language that really is a reflectn of their male privilege, whether ’s through g ways that nigrate or stereotype women, or whether ’s jt feelg license to e the language how they see f, ” says Zimman, the lguist om UC Santa Barbara.

“Of urse, gay men are men.

AM I GAY/STRAIGHT? ?️‍? (FEMALE EDN)

Paris Is Burng, the 1990 documentary on Harlem’s drag ball scene, as well as Drag Race, have brought the e of words like "she" and "girl" between Black and Latx drag queens to a wir gay (and straight) dience; today this is somethg employed by gay men of all rac.

ARE YOU GAY? (FOR GIRLS)

Wealthy whe gay cis men llg each other "girl" may be drastilly different om Black or Latx gay cis men who ntue to be margalized very different is visible a film like Paris Is Burng, a few s ago there were more shared spac, language, and culture between cis gay men, trans women, and genr-nonnformg dividuals. “This is the mastream gay ia of beg jt like straight people, except for whom one is attracted to.

That kd of rejectn of genr nonnormativy also giv the suatn we fd today, where we have more of a spl between gay men and trans women, for stance, than we might have seen prev s.

“Wh ‘girl/she/her, ’” they say, “if I’m socializg wh cis gay men and that’s what they’re g to scribe each other and to scribe me, there is a ltle b of dissonance there, bee I’m not really sure if they’re g that to validate my genr, or if ’s beg ed as ’s ed wh other cis gay men. Gay men’s tradn of playg wh pronouns and refg to abi by the genr bary n be a part of this effort.

THE GAY-O-METER! ?️‍? LGBTQ QUIZ

I've nsired for long hours, and cid that I was gay. Fally, when I get the mdset and nfince to say I'm fully gay, I meet this betiful, sweet, hilar, and hontly perfect girl who I nnect wh wicked well. I'd really like to jt go date her, but a ltle voice my head always whispers, "You're gay.

You watch gay pR0n. All signs poted to gay, until sudnly a new sign l up flashg "BUT MAYBE NOT!? If you do ci that you're bi or pan or somethg other than gay?

WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?

If you re-evaluate and ci "nope, still gay"? You n ci that you want to date girls and that do not validate the time where you intified as gay.

If that was a ght procs for you, some part of you might be jumpg at the chance to go, "see, I'm not actually gay. Tell her that you want to date her, you've intified as gay, but that you're wantg to explore your sexualy more, and you want her to be aware of that.