The Real Learng Channel: A Straight Spoe Of A Gay Hband Speaks Out | HuffPost Voic

Contents:

• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• THE REAL LEARNG CHANNEL: A STRAIGHT SPOE OF A GAY HBAND SPEAKS OUT
• IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN
• SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• FDG OUT YOUR SPOE IS GAY
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• STRAIGHT SPOE REVERY: 9 WAYS TO REVER & MOVE ON AFTER FDG OUT YOUR SPOE IS GAY
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• IS MY HBAND GAY? 10 SIGNS THAT CAN HELP YOU FIGURE OUT

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

Sadly, most married, closeted gay men are manipulative, narcissistic n artists who only thk about themselv wh only ocsnal feelgs of guilt and remorse. Often is acpanied by doubt and self-blame, for example, "If I'd been enough of a woman (or man), he (or she) would not be gay.

Sce all men and women have been raised siar cultur, they have rporated the “ials” of masculy whether they are gay, straight, bisexual, or other.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

But toxic masculy is not a uniquely heterosexual problem, and some straight women are or were married to very toxic gay men.

Projectn is fundamental to toxic masculy, and one of the characteristics is a disda for homosexualy which generat shame, self-hatred, and even gay bashg. Early theori about the velopment of homosexualy rerced this ia that to be “a well-veloped homosexual, ” startg adolcence, one begs to pass through stag of homosexual velopment a lear fashn.

THE REAL LEARNG CHANNEL: A STRAIGHT SPOE OF A GAY HBAND SPEAKS OUT

My experienc nnot be ed to generalize about all gay men mixed-orientatn marriag, and I would not enurage anyone to seek rapprochement wh an abive man, but gay men are as different om each other as are heterosexual men. Many lbian, gay, bisexual or transgenr people e out years after they have been married to an oppose-sex heterosexual wife or hband. Fally, the relatnships suggt to some people “reparative therapy, ” the uhil and impossible claim that a person n be changed om gay to straight.

The men this televisn program aren’t claimg to be ex-gay nor that they n change their sexual orientatn (at least not on the show). They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wiv accept this.

There are plenty of wiv who choose to stay married even after fdg out later the marriage that their hband is gay and attracted to men. They make this choice wh open discsns, which are very paful and emotnal for both the gay man and the straight wife. You might be able to claim your inty by meetg ocsnally wh gay men, stayg touch on Facebook, and lettg your gay iends know that you want to rema sexually fahful to your wife.

IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN

I warn mixed-orientatn upl that he may feel differently later life and his gayns may surface more strongly and bee more of an inty for him and th bee an issue their marriage. Both straight and gay muni put enormo prsure on the man and woman a mixed-orientatn marriage, and few marriag n stand up unr this social, fay, and relig prsure. Some upl try to “live straight” and image that they will be able to not acknowledge the hband’s gayns any way.

Generally, a gay man will feel a lot of emotnal distrs, grief, and prsn if he is livg so eply the closet. Most of my male clients who are gay and married to women didn’t know that their inty was gay when they married. He most likely terpreted his gay terts as sexual “kks, ” and he nvced himself they would fa away after he married.

A gay man n tly love a woman, have satisfyg and regular sex wh her, and want to stay married to her while beg unterted other women sexually. The big qutn is: How n a gay man affirm his inty wh other gay men and at the same time rema te to his wife? Matag a mixed-orientatn marriage requir endurg the strs of keepg the secrets that one of them is gay and beg discreet how they live their liv.

SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON

Among the upl, when the gay, lbian, or bisexual partner out, a third of the upl break up immediately; another third stay together for one to two years and then spl; the remag third try to make their marriag work. There's no qutn that learng your partner is gay when you believed them to be straight n be extremely difficult. People do not choose who they are attracted to, so make sure to not direct homophobic backlash towards your partner.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

As the hype around the TLC show My Hband's Not Gay begs to wane, I fd a shame that there has been ltle attentn paid to the perspectiv of straight women who have experienced beg a mixed-orientatn marriage, where one spoe is gay and the other is straight. Most of the opn piec wrten about the show are by lbian and gay dividuals, relig wrers and people trollg the Inter. Straight spo who fd themselv mixed-orientatn marriag generally do not end up on a realy show standg by their lbian or gay partners.

The biggt issue is how relig and archaic thkg exacerbat the problem of lbian and gay people enterg to "tradnal" marriag. When a man out to a straight wife who never saw g, she often nnot grasp the possibily that her hband might be tly gay.

FDG OUT YOUR SPOE IS GAY

Thk about : Anyone whose spoe has been lyg to them doubts their own sexs and lovabily and wonrs what they uld have done differently, but when a spoe out as gay, the entire marriage is lled to qutn. A straight spoe n try to stay married wh the knowledge that their spoe is lbian or gay, but they will always live wh an enormo amount of distst and spicn.

Conservative relig views, cludg archaic ias g om society, keep many gay men and women om livg hont, fulfillg liv. Legislatg what marriage means our secular world, keepg lbian and gay people om havg the same rights as everyone else, and preachg that beg gay is a choice and a s enurag people to be dishont. Until nservative relig people face the tth about what their beliefs do to people who are lbian or gay and married to a straight spoe, there will be very ltle change relig muni.

A relatnship n go one of two ways after a spoe out as lbian or gay: It n rema tenuo and bter, or n be betiful. This kd of thg is very sad, bee uld have been avoid pletely if our society and our relig leangs weren't so guilt- and prsure-oriented regardg lbian and gay people.

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

Mixed-orientatn marriag n be a thg of the past if views on lbian and gay people would evolve even people who are this suatn wh kids, n be a blsg. Beg aware of all sis of the mixed-orientatn marriage -- om the gay spoe to the straight spoe to their fai -- is the bt way to have empathy for others.

Society's creasg acceptance of gays and lbians and the Supreme Court lg June that legalized same-sex marriage have foced attentn on sexual orientatn. "The gay or lbian, bisexual and transgenr people were told by their church or muni or parents or fai that the right thg to do is to marry someone of the oppose genr, and most of them love the people they marry, " she says.

When a closeted lbian, gay, bisexual or transgenr person feels unable to live openly and marri a straight partner, their efforts to keep the tth hidn n bee more onero over time.

STRAIGHT SPOE REVERY: 9 WAYS TO REVER & MOVE ON AFTER FDG OUT YOUR SPOE IS GAY

Perhaps you’ve found somethg explic such as gay porn or some nfg text msag, or you may have disvered paraphernalia lyg around that you haven’t seen prevly. The other day a relatively new person my life wanted to know the specifics of my ex-hband‘s realizatn that he was gay.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

If you have had any notn at all that this is a possibily, might help you to know the 6 signs that may suggt that your hband is gay.

Issu ncerng sexual sire alone are not a sure-fire sign your hband is gay, but women who report that their hbands turned out to be gay often say this was somethg they noticed first. But remember, there n be many reasons why sex a marriage is ls than satisfyg, other than the fact that your hband may be gay.

IS MY HBAND GAY? 10 SIGNS THAT CAN HELP YOU FIGURE OUT

His social media ntacts are unual and full of people, or new iends that you don’t know how he knows them and many of which are gay. It’s highly unlikely that, if your partner is straight, he would want to put his picture and rmatn on a gay datg se. In most s, if your hband has been hidg gay tennci om you, ’s probably bee he is the closet and don’t know how to e out to you or anybody else his life.

And, if you do fd out signs your hband is gay, then the first thg that you’ll need to do is to s down and talk to him. It is entirely possible that he might ny that he’s gay om the offset, whout givg you any satisfactory answers to your qutns. If you n live a marriage where you are sure that your hband might be gay, some personal unselg might help you work through this so that you n fd the right way forward for you.

If your hband do adm that he is gay, ’s important to remember that he didn’t choose this life to hurt you. So, next time if you have siar doubts md, jt study your partner, check out his browsg histori and fd rmatn about his iends and you will e across signs your hband is gay.