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" /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/oprahdaily/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="timely" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Relatnships" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2021-11-02T01:17:13Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2019-06-27T20:45:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent=" Margalized muni the U.S. are gog through a tough time—to say the least. 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span:first-of-type:before{-webk-background-posn:center;background-posn:center;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webk-background-size:ver;background-size:ver;ntent:'';display:block;height:1.125rem;width:1.375rem;} span:first-of-type:before{background-image:url('/_assets/sign-tokens/oprahdaily/static/imag/');}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){ span:first-of-type:before{marg:1.25rem to;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){ span:first-of-type:before{marg:1.75rem to;}}</style><h1 class="css-nno972 exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>6 Ways to Rpectfully Be a Better LGBTQ Ally<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 157op6k">{font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.3125rem;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:-0.01em;le-height:1.2;marg-bottom:0;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:1.25rem;paddg-right:1.25rem;}} p{marg:0rem;} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-157op6k exadjwu8"><p>Start by regnizg the muni' stggl. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 1t9ufoh">{display:block;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{marg-top:1.35rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg-top:1.75rem;}} addrs{marg:0rem;} span{le-height:1.6;display:le-block;marg:0rem;}</style><div class="css-1t9ufoh exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css b9totx">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;display:block;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;}</style><addrs class="css-b9totx ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 1gwutwq">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;display:block;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;}</style><span class="css-1gwutwq ehvvd9m1"><style data-emotn="css 1sa04t">{borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;marg-right:0.3125rem;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Francis Pallarés-Santiago" tle="Headshot of Francis Pallarés-Santiago" width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/17591/ancis-pallar-santiago/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Francis Pallarés-Santiago</a></span><style data-emotn="css 1gryrf1">{display:le-block;text-transform:unset;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-1gryrf1 exadjwu6">Published: Jun 27, 2019</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c exadjwu15"><style data-emotn="css 1hpjtwr">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;posn:relative;marg-top:0.9375rem;}</style><div class="ntent-hear-actns css-1hpjtwr exadjwu14"><style data-emotn="css 1x55pmg">{background-lor:#E61957;lor:#ffffff;borr:th solid transparent;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;paddg:0.625rem 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335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="Gture, Hand, Fger, Foot, Leg, Thumb, Clip art, " tle="Gture, Hand, Fger, Foot, Leg, Thumb, Clip art, " width="1000" height="1000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 5kpeya">{font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;letter-spacg:0.05em;le-height:2rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}} span{lor:#6F6F6F;}</style><figptn class="css-5kpeya enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 1sepnu9">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;lor:#6F6F6F;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-1sepnu9 e6iqd2">Temi Oyelola </span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> Margalized muni the U.S. are gog through a tough time—to say the least. </p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">In the last few years we’ve seen fai beg torn apart over <style data-emotn="css 9cezh6">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#E61957;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="immigratn" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">immigratn</a>, risg threats to women's <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="reproductive rights" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">reproductive rights</a>, bans that prevent the <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="trans muny" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">trans muny</a> om workg, and an overall crease reported <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="hate crim" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">hate crim</a> based on race, sexual orientatn, genr, and relign. </p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Echog <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Oprah’s keynote speech" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Oprah’s keynote speech</a> at the openg of the <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Statue of Liberty Mm" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Statue of Liberty Mm</a> New York last year, “We live divisive tim, but I thk 's only ftg that at this cril moment, we remember that the one ia that stas the soul of Ameri above all others is eedom." For that reason, we mt put our differenc asi, advote for each other's basic human rights, and bee better alli. </p><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">But what is allyship to beg wh? <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Merriam-Webster" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Merriam-Webster</a> f the word ally as "a sovereign or state associated wh another by treaty or league." That is te, however, there's one fn that accurately fs what we're discsg: "One that is associated wh another as a helper: a person or group that provis assistance and support an ongog effort, activy, or stggle." </p><p data-no-id="5" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">For the LGBTQ muny, <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="an ally" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">an ally</a> is a straight and/or cisgenr person who supports and advot for LGBTQ people. Often, alli e together at Pri events, for stance, to uplift and strengthen the muny—<a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="particularly Black and brown LGBTQ people" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">particularly Black and brown LGBTQ people</a> who face greater threats of vlence.</p><style data-emotn="css 8c6v">{posn:absolute;left:-10000px;top:to;width:1px;height:1px;overflow:hidn;}</style><div data-ad-exclu class="css-8c6v ehha8ut0">This ntent is imported om poll. You may be able to fd the same ntent another format, or you may be able to fd more rmatn, at their web se.</div><div data-embed="poll" data-no-id="6" class="embed css-0 ektkw391"><style data-emotn="css 1d3w5wq">{width:100%;}</style><div height="150" class="css-1d3w5wq ektkw390"></div><style data-emotn="css vaxtlc">{borr:none;overflow:hidn;}</style><iame id="poll-a3a8d66c-86af-4643-8188-5f8a73a30c4e_405e18d0b9a6f" tle="Poll ntent" height="150" width="100%" aria-hidn="te" data-src=" class="poll lazyload css-vaxtlc ektkw392"></iame></div><p data-no-id="7" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">And while there is no okie-cutter way of beg an ally, dog so requir tn, advocy, actn, and a sire to learn om your mistak. We sat down wh a few experts to outle how to be an LGBTQ ally. </p><style data-emotn="css 18pb4rg">{borr:0;borr-bottom:th solid black;marg:1.875rem 0;clear:both;}</style><hr data-no-id="8" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><style data-emotn="css 1m6q79k">{font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:-0.005em;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="9" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0">Regnize your privilege and e for good. </h2><p data-no-id="10" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's difficult to unrstand the reali of discrimatn whout experiencg them first-hand. And for many, acknowledgg our societal advantag (<a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="privilege" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">privilege</a>) n be a challenge that often leads to what Oprah scrib as an aha moment. </p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="11" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css y6rgkz">{borr:th solid #CDCDCD;borr-bottom:th solid black;borr-left:0;borr-right:0;borr-top:th solid black;borr-width:0.75rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;marg-top:1.875rem;paddg:0.625rem 0 0.25rem;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-top:2.5rem;marg-bottom:2.5rem;}}</style><asi class="css-y6rgkz e6pr2lz5"><style data-emotn="css whsy2b">{borr-bottom:th solid black;display:block;font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:500;letter-spacg:0.1em;marg:0rem;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;paddg-bottom:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><h6 class="css-whsy2b e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 8lle59">{max-width:lc(100% - 120px - .625rem);}</style><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Stori</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css c4s2gi">{paddg:0rem;marg:0rem;list-style:none;}</style><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><style data-emotn="css 1b7ml99">{font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;paddg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.2;}}{borr-bottom:th solid black;paddg-bottom:1.25rem;} a{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;} a>img{borr-radi:0.1875rem;}</style><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><style data-emotn="css 1bn7a5e">{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webk-jtify-ntent:flex-start;jtify-ntent:flex-start;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><a href="/life/work-money/a27921531/how-to-share-genr-pronouns-workplace/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Right Way to Use Genr Pronouns at Work" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1l0u1">{marg-right:0.625rem;height:to;}</style><img src="" alt="Text, Font, Le, Rectangle, Brand, Logo, " tle="Text, Font, Le, Rectangle, Brand, Logo, " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">The Right Way to Use Genr Pronouns at Work</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/relatnships-love/g27629860/glossary-of-lgbtq-terms/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="34 LGBTQ Terms You Should Know " data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="lgbtq terms" tle="LGBTQ Terms" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">34 LGBTQ Terms You Should Know </span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/a27657496/stonewall-rts-signifince-facts/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="What Happened at Stonewall?" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Photograph, Snapshot, Event, Black-and-whe, Monochrome, Photography, Crowd, " tle="Photograph, Snapshot, Event, Black-and-whe, Monochrome, Photography, Crowd, " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">What Happened at Stonewall?</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="12" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">An example of privilege? Simply <em>existg</em> as a cisgenr person—and not facg discrimatn for your genr at work. One four transgenr people have lost a job due to bias, acrdg to the <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Natnal Center for Transgenr Equaly" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Natnal Center for Transgenr Equaly</a>, and more than three-fourths have experienced some form of workplace discrimatn. </p><p data-no-id="13" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">That said, regnizg your advantag n lead to feelgs of disfort, anger, shame, or guilt. Try not to dwell on those feelgs and stead channel that energy a posive way. “Regnize that you’re not rponsible for buildg the system. But you are rponsible for what you do wh that knowledge, how you move on om there, and what you do wh your privilege,” says Brooklyn-based licensed therapist <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Amelia Yankey" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Amelia Yankey</a>, LCSW, who works wh members of the LGBTQ muny sufferg om trma. </p><p data-no-id="14" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">She adds, “I thk of allyship as acknowledgg unjt privilege that you have and workg to end the stctur that give you that privilege.” <br /></p><hr data-no-id="15" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="16" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0"><strong>Ask ted qutns—and do your own rearch. </strong></h2><p data-no-id="17" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's wise to bsh up on the issu that currently affect var members of the LGBTQ muny. But remember, ’s unfair to expect LGBTQ people to relive their trma (a.k.a. someone's g out experience) or validate their existence for your own unrstandg. Yankey's suggtn? “Do some rearch onle and shift some of the emotnal burn off of the people your life who have another inty that you’re privileged relatn to.”</p><p data-no-id="18" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It’s okay to ask qutns, but gut-check yourself to ensure they're not offensive or cumbersome. If you’re havg trouble unrstandg certa topics, like <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="the importance of g genr pronouns" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">the importance of g genr pronouns</a>, fd rourc that will help you navigate those ncepts. </p><hr data-no-id="19" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="20" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0"><strong>Get fortable wh beg unfortable. </strong></h2><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="21" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><asi class="css-y6rgkz e6pr2lz5"><h6 class="css-whsy2b e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Stori</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/a23601818/queer-cultural-appropriatn-fn/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="What Is Queer Appropriatn? An Explanatn" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Performance, Event, Performg arts, Sgg, Backg volist, Mic artist, Mic, Talent show, Song, Mil theatre, " tle="Performance, Event, Performg arts, Sgg, Backg volist, Mic artist, Mic, Talent show, Song, Mil theatre, " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">What Is Queer Appropriatn? An Explanatn</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/books/g27455697/bt-lgbtq-books-ever/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="115 Queer Authors Share Their Fave LGBTQ Books" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="lgbtq books" tle="115 Queer Authors Share Their Fave LGBTQ Books" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">115 Queer Authors Share Their Fave LGBTQ Books</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/a24434123/pls-drag-race-alyssa-edwards-dancg-queen/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Drag Race Star Alyssa Edwards on Overg Fear " data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Tazo Tea Alyssa Edwards " tle="Tazo Tea Alyssa Edwards " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Drag Race Star Alyssa Edwards on Overg Fear </span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="22" class="body-text css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's possible that you'll make mistak while gettg better acquated wh the LGBTQ muny—and that's okay. “Allyship is actually more about the mistak than the thgs that you do right. It’s about how you al wh those mistak and move forward,” says human rights advote <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Maybe Burke" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Maybe Burke</a>, who provis allyship trag on behalf of the <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Transgenr Trag Instute" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Transgenr Trag Instute</a>. Let people know om the start that you’re open to guidance and feedback. The more you open up, the easier will be to learn and munite effectively.</p><p data-no-id="23" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">If you ms up, try not to dulge negative feelgs. “Makg mistak don’t make you a terrible person, jt means you’ve got some learng to do. The pot is not to be perfect, the pot is for all to be ee,” says Yankey. </p><p data-no-id="24" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Avoid makg a scene out of apologizg or gettg fensive. Yankey adds,“Give yourself a mute and acknowledge the possibily they [margalized people] might be right, and that they’re not tryg to attack you or hurt you.” Apologize and aim to do better next time. </p><hr data-no-id="25" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="26" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0"><strong>Take your onle activism to real-life scenars. </strong></h2><p data-no-id="27" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Social media is a wonrful tool for buildg muny, tg others, and ung margalized groups whout support systems. But also mak easy for alli to speak on behalf of the LGBTQ muny, spe not havg the same stggl. </p><p data-no-id="28" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">To prevent that om happeng, Burke suggts you <em>"</em>-center yourself om the work. Use your platforms to speak about issu but also amplify the voic of those ls heard." Then, be sure to get volved and actively show your support. Fd lol anizatns to volunteer your time wh and donate to. </p><p data-no-id="29" class="body-text css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>6 LGBTQ non-profs you n work wh today:</strong></p><style data-emotn="css 19p7hma">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;marg:0.9375rem 0 0 0.625rem;paddg:0 0 0 1.25rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:0.9375rem 0;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;} li{paddg-bottom:0.625rem;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} li::marker{lor:#323232;}</style><ul data-no-id="30" class="css-19p7hma et3p2gv0"><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="GLSEN" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">GLSEN</a> <br />Missn: Create safe and affirmg schools for all, regardls of sexual orientatn, genr inty, or genr exprsn.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Ali Forney Center" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">The Ali Forney Center</a><br />Missn: Protect LGBTQ youths om the harms of homelsns and empower them wh the tools need to live penntly.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Trevor Project" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">The Trevor Project<br /></a>Missn: Provi crisis terventn and suici preventn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer & qutng (LGBTQ) young people unr 25.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Immigratn Equaly" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Immigratn Equaly</a><br />Missn: Advote for and reprent lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer (LGBTQ), and HIV-posive immigrants seekg safety, fair treatment, and eedom.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Sylvia Rivera Law Project" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Sylvia Rivera Law Project<br /></a>Missn: Work to guarantee that all people are ee to self-terme their genr inty and exprsn, regardls of e or race, and whout facg harassment, discrimatn, or vlence.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="SAGE" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">SAGE<br /></a>Missn: SAGE is a natnal anizatn that offers supportive servic and nsumer rourc to LGBT olr people and their regivers.</li></ul><hr data-no-id="31" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="32" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0">Speak up for the unrreprented. </h2><p data-no-id="33" class="body-text css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The bt way to enurage allyship is to simply start a nversatn. If you hear or see somethg that's damagg towards the LGBTQ muny, gently pot out the problem and e as a teachable moment. “There is a pot advocy where you need the people who hold the privilege to start the nversatn, bee otherwise they [margalized muni] don’t get heard," Burke says. As people who hold posns of privilege, ’s up to to advote for those whose voic are shut down. </p><p data-no-id="34" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Yankey adds, “Let them [loved on] know how their behavr affects you and how affects them. Dog that as someone wh privilege stead of forcg the folks whout privilege to do so n be an important act of allyship.” <br /></p><p data-no-id="35" class="body-text css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Four ways to advote for the LGBTQ muny:</strong></p><ul data-no-id="36" class="css-19p7hma et3p2gv0"><li>Correct people if they misgenr someone, even if that someone isn't the room.</li><li>Speak up when a person slurs or sensive and racially-charged language.</li><li>Promote diversy the workplace. Update your email signature to clu pronouns.</li><li>Show your support by wearg a Pri p or postg a flag. </li></ul><hr data-no-id="37" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="38" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0"><strong>Follow the lead of your LGBTQ peers. </strong></h2><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="39" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><asi class="css-y6rgkz e6pr2lz5"><h6 class="css-whsy2b e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Stori</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/a22676526/fg-homophobia/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="I Used to Be Homophobic—Until This Happened" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Rabow flag" tle="Rabow flag" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">I Used to Be Homophobic—Until This Happened</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/a26623472/andy-hen-baby-boy-dad-shamg/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Please Stop Dad-Shamg Andy Cohen " data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Watch What Happens Live - Season 13" tle="Watch What Happens Live - Season 13" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Please Stop Dad-Shamg Andy Cohen </span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/tv-movi/a26293191/gay-hollywood-rom-/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Why Are We Still Wag for a Major Gay Rom-Com?" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Human, Art, Prophet, " tle="Human, Art, Prophet, " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Why Are We Still Wag for a Major Gay Rom-Com?</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="40" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">While you may want to immediately fend your LGBTQ peers if they're beg attacked, make sure you do not overshadow or occupy a queer person's right to speak up for themselv—a phenomenon known as <em>performative allyship</em>. As Burke pots out, 's not okay to nsistently prove you are an ally as a way of feelg accepted by the LGBTQ muny. Remember to e your privilege to benef the muny—not your ego. </p><p data-no-id="41" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“People should have fluence over cisns proportnate to how they’re affected by them," Yankye says. She suggts you ask LGBTQ lears how they n be supported, rather than assumg a role. </p><p data-no-id="42" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Ask the muny lears how you n get volved stead of assumg a role they may not need you . “Make sure folks wh ls privilege have learship posns and follow their lead," Yankey adds. </p><p data-no-id="43" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Ultimately, 's about takg small steps together towards achievg the greater goal of equaly. </p><hr data-no-id="44" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="45" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong><em>For more ways to live your bt life pl all thgs Oprah, <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="sign up for our newsletter!" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">sign up for our newsletter!</a></em><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0"></a></strong></p><style data-emotn="css 1v2eakg">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:90%;}}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:95%;}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:75%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:65%;}}</style><div data-no-id="46" data-teractive="VioPlayer-1" class="embed aspect-rat-16x9 css-1v2eakg e3dq3y0"><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css 1iiivv4">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

how to support lgbt

How do you be a good ally to gay, trans, and other queer people 2020? Here are a few ncrete ways, om LGBTQ+ mental health experts and activists.

Contents:

SUNAK APOLOGIZ FOR HISTORIC TREATMENT OF UK GAY VETERANS

* how to support lgbt *

And stop supportg on that feed to homophobic agendas.

GAY SUPPORT: WHERE TO FD LGBT HELP AND SUPPORT GROUPS

Y. A natnal poll asked lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer or qutng people age 13 to 24. * how to support lgbt *

If you want to be an LGBTQIA+ ally and you notice that a pany or bs is makg homophobic ments or donatg to anti-gay anizatns, you have the choice to stop supportg that bs.

Prime Mister Rishi Sunak apologized for the UK’s historic treatment of gay veterans followg a damng report tailg electric shock nversn therapy, sexual asslts and blackmail suffered by personnel over s. * how to support lgbt *

"Alli should stay rmed on the issu that are attackg our muny and stand wh , " says Joseph Oddo, board print of the Gay & Lbian Communy Center of Southern Nevada.

"Normalizg pronoun e for all genr inti⁠—not jt trans or nonbary folx—helps take away some of the burn and strs associated wh beg misgenred, " says Chs Needham, -owner of statnery pany Ash + Chs and -thor of The Gay Agenda. "While havg a basic unrstandg of inti like 'gay, ' 'pansexual, ' and 'nonbary' is important, the stock fns are like a ZIP ; they give you only a general ia of someone's experience, " they expla.

"Every person has their own experience of 'gay, ' 'pansexual, ' 'nonbary, ' or any other inty. A natnal poll asked lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer or qutng people age 13 to 24, “How have recent bat about state laws rtrictg the rights of LGBTQ young people impacted your mental health?

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* HOW TO SUPPORT LGBT

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She received her journalism gree om Northwtern Universy, and her wrgs on sex, relatnships, inty, and wellns have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolan, and elsewhere.</div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><span><div class="sc-1l4o0aw-0 ddALLK"><div id="article-hear-image" class="sc-11lw232-0 kTjxXR sc-1l4o0aw-1 iQIJEZ"><picture><source width="900" height="500" media="(m-width: 1024px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><source width="1023" height="575" media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="prentatn" alt="20 Ways To Be A Better LGBTQ+ Ally In 2020 // 20 Ways To Actually Support LGBTQ+ People In 2020" fetchprry="high" tle="20 Ways To Be A Better LGBTQ+ Ally In 2020 // 20 Ways To Actually Support LGBTQ+ People In 2020" loadg="eager" width="480" height="322" src=" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div><div class="sc-1l4o0aw-2 bZndvY"><div class="sc-1l4o0aw-3 buJAAj">Image by mbg Creative / Casey Tanner, Kristen Curette, Ju Valent, Erika Kap</div></div><div class="sc-1l4o0aw-6 fztoxf">June 14, 2020</div></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>It's a particularly powerful Pri Month.</p><p>This June, people across the untry have llective actn and activism more top of md than ever. After weeks of monstratns agast racism and police vlence, the sle of munal ditn to active allyship feels revolutnary—and we're jt gettg started.</p></div></span></div><asi class="sc-1jo7k-0 fIGSaL"><div></div><div style="display:none"></div><div></div></asi></div><div class="sc-11rlt5o-3 hieagl"><div class="sc-11rlt5o-4 iBIzdZ"><div class="sc-1yed2pf-0 fqxmsC"><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-1yed2pf-1 kQashk"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-Any_Learboard"></div></sectn></div></div></div><div class="sc-11rlt5o-3 hieagl"><div class="sc-11rlt5o-4 iBIzdZ"><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>As we're figurg out how to directly tegrate anti-racism to our daily liv, 's also a good time to nsir ways we n be better advot for the LGBTQ+ muny and specifilly queer women of lor and black trans women, all of whom ntue to face signifint discrimatn and hardship across the world.</p><p>We reached out to LGBTQ+ mental health experts, activists, ntent creators, and bs owners to share ncrete actns that anyone n take to support LGBTQ+ people. Here's what they told :</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">1<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-IA8iYRuZ9" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Do the work to te yourself.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Set asi some time to do your own rearch, and make sure you're gettg your rmatn om reputable sourc—ially om folks the muny," says <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Jse Kahn, LCSW, CST</a>, director and sex therapist at <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">The Genr & Sexualy Therapy Center</a> NYC. </p><p>"Don't be ashamed if you don't know everythg already; jt make sure you take the time to te yourself. This uld also clu payg someone to te you, attendg workshops, readg LGBTQ+-petent books, etc."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">2<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-HtSjE78aJQ" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Learn the history.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"To be an ally, you need to learn about LGBTQ+ history," says therapist <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Michael Salas, Psy.D., LPC, CST</a>. "This n help you be aware of rhetoric and current affairs that matter. But even more importantly, n help you unrstand why the issu matter to people who are part of the muny. To me, this is the difference between tolerance and te acceptance. Makg LGBTQ+ history a general history that has impacted all rather than somethg that only LGBTQ+ people need to be aware of."</p></div></span><span><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-ewkazq-0 iZnRCw"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-InLe_Article_1"></div></sectn></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">3<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg--0tacxoZt1" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Introduce yourself wh your pronouns. </h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Normalizg pronoun e for all genr inti⁠—not jt trans or nonbary folx—helps take away some of the burn and strs associated wh beg misgenred," says <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Chs Needham</a>, -owner of statnery pany <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Ash + Chs</a> and -thor of <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk="><em>The Gay Agenda</em></a>.</p><p>Needham remends actively troducg yourself g your pronouns when you meet new people, particularly group settgs. That might sound somethg like: <em>Hi, I'm Kelly, and my pronouns are she/her.</em></p><p>It n also be helpful to clu your pronouns your social media bs, email signatur, and anywhere else you're troducg yourself. The ia is to make normal to not assume people's pronouns, which mak easier and safer for trans and genr-nonnformg people to make sure their rrect pronouns are beg ed.</p><p>"Give people the choice to share their pronouns," adds <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Kenya Crawford, LMHC</a>, mental health unselor and -founr of <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">On the Mend</a>. "Everyone may not feel fortable sharg their pronouns every space. For example, 'My pronouns are she/they. If you feel safe, feel ee to share your pronouns.'"</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">4<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-bS24rFqCQU" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Remember, there's no such thg as "preferred" pronouns.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Pronouns are not a preference," Crawford adds. "They are expected. So stead, ask for pronouns."</p><p>Most women don't "prefer" to e she/her pronouns, for example. Those are jt their rrect pronouns. This same prciple appli to people of all genrs.</p></div></span><span><div data-exp-id="promotnal-recirculatn" class="sc-1h17339-8 gjbtbd"><div class="sc-1h17339-9 iJqarH"><button class="sc-1h17339-15 iZyYYw">Read Next</button></div><div class="sc-1h17339-10 hdpFKv"><div class="sc-1h17339-11 cizZQ"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-17 dXbQny"><div class="sc-11lw232-0 SFNw sc-1h17339-14 gyLFQy"><picture><source width="300" height="231" media="(m-width: 576px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="prentatn" alt="" fetchprry="high" width="300" height="231" src=" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div></a><div class="sc-1h17339-12 iDgjce"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-13 kZwwV">Cold Plunge Is Takg Over The Wellns World: The Benefs + Bt Tubs To Try</a><a class="sc-1h17339-16 dVTyyv">Merrell Readman</a></div></div><div class="sc-1h17339-11 cizZQ"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-17 dXbQny"><div class="sc-11lw232-0 SFNw sc-1h17339-14 gyLFQy"><picture><source width="300" height="231" media="(m-width: 576px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="prentatn" alt="" fetchprry="high" width="300" height="231" src=" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div></a><div class="sc-1h17339-12 iDgjce"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-13 kZwwV">The 8 Bt Adjtable Bas & Matchg Mattrs To Maximize Your Sleep</a><a class="sc-1h17339-16 dVTyyv">Jack Byram</a></div></div><div class="sc-1h17339-11 cizZQ"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-17 dXbQny"><div class="sc-11lw232-0 SFNw sc-1h17339-14 gyLFQy"><picture><source width="300" height="231" media="(m-width: 576px)" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="prentatn" alt="" fetchprry="high" width="300" height="231" src=" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div></a><div class="sc-1h17339-12 iDgjce"><a href=" class="sc-1h17339-13 kZwwV">The 8 Bt CBD Oils For Sleep That Help You Stay Calm Before Bed</a><a class="sc-1h17339-16 dVTyyv">Lizzy Sherman</a></div></div></div></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">5<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-sZJI9CyYv6" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Beyond jt learng fns, build relatnships.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>There's a lot of new language and new termology poppg up today that people are g to scribe their genr and sexual inti. Memorizg the "right meangs" of all the words is not the pot, says <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Sula Mala</a>, a therapist trag at The Genr & Sexualy Therapy Center.</p><p>"While havg a basic unrstandg of inti like 'gay,' 'pansexual,' and 'nonbary' is important, the stock fns are like a ZIP ; they give you only a general ia of someone's experience," they expla. "Every person has their own experience of 'gay,' 'pansexual,' 'nonbary,' or any other inty. The real work is not memorizg dictnary entri but buildg tstg relatnships wh LGBTQ folks who will feel safe to share their experience wh you."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">6<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-76z4owcrOi" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Don't cricize other people's labels.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Leave your ego at the door," says queer ntent creator and body liberatn activist <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Ju Valent</a>. "A lot of tim, folks get their feelgs about how other people intify and what labels they e. But labels are personal, and 's not gog to be a one-size-fs-all asssment."</p><p>Two people might e the same word to scribe their inty and have very different fns of what that word means to them. That don't necsarily mean eher person is g "wrong." </p><p>"Operate om good fah, and assume good fah," Valent says. "We're all this together."</p></div></span><span><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-ewkazq-0 iZnRCw"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-InLe_Article_2"></div></sectn></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">7<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-JtirWwhpMD" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Make a pot to ternalize people's genrs, beyond jt the language.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"If someone shar their pronouns wh you, take the time not only to practice (on your own) g the pronouns a sentence but to really <em>see</em> that person the way they see themselv," Mala adds. "Trans and nonbary folks often know when you're gettg the words 'right' but still not seeg them as their genr. Pl, shiftg your ternal unrstandg of a person's genr will probably make g their rrect pronouns much easier!"</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">8<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-9n9G7KY41s" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Donate your time and money.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Remember that g the rrect name and pronouns for someone isn't allyship—'s jt the bare mimum need to avoid actively beg a bigot," says <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Tuck Woodstock</a>, genr and equy tor and host of the <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk="><em>Genr Reveal</em></a><em> </em>podst.</p><p>"Te allyship volv stctural change and rource reallotn. So, if you're lookg to be an ally this Pri season, give money to trans people (there are endls surgery GoFundM), trans media (e.g., <em>Genr Reveal</em> and <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk="><em>Queersplag</em></a>), and trans anizatns like the <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Sylvia Rivera Law Project</a> and <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Trans Lifele</a>."</p><p>Kahn adds, "Many LGBTQ+ s need volunteers and donatns. A one-time donatn is a fantastic gift. An even better gift is a recurrg monthly donatn so that anizatns n unt on your money every month and e to ntue their work."</p></div></span><span><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-ewkazq-0 iZnRCw"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-InLe_Article_3"></div></sectn></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">9<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-IQ9FblOG9N" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Make your bs actively clive.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Three ways to do that, directly om <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Mere Abrams, LCSW</a>, a therapist and nsultant foced on genr and inty: </p></div></span><span><div class="sc-8nga9g-0 bdGXVz"><ul id="mbg--Hf5UHcuoS" class="sc-8nga9g-2 dsZcvS"><li class="sc-8nga9g-3 eZRWpM">Make sure all forms have a dited space for name (if different om legal name), pronouns, and genr (male, female, trans, nonbary, and other).</li><li class="sc-8nga9g-3 eZRWpM">Make sure all staff receive rourc and trag about how to be clive of and rpectful to trans and queer people.</li><li class="sc-8nga9g-3 eZRWpM">Hire trans, nonbary, and genr-nonnformg people. Seeg yourself reflected a given space or profsn is an important part of feelg clud. </li></ul></div></span><span><sectn class="sc-10p0iao-0 dMupux sc-ewkazq-0 iZnRCw"><div class="sc-10p0iao-1 hdYanS"><h5>Advertisement</h5><div tabx="0" class="sc-10p0iao-3 iyOeCM"><svg height="19px" width="19px" class="sc-10p0iao-4 jDlrCP"><e href="/"></e></svg></div><div class="sc-10p0iao-2 leWrSY"><div class="sc-10p0iao-5 clhrzt">This ad is displayed g third party ntent and we do not ntrol s accsibily featur.</div></div></div><div class="work-ad htlad-InLe_Article_4"></div></sectn></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">10<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-PgTUqZ4W87" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Put LGBTQ+ people posns of power.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Have them real posns of power. Don't have them be token people or jt have them there to rm the powers that be or be there jt to te," Rachel Ward, founr and print of <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Soapwalla</a>, <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">told mbg last year</a>. "Have people who don't look like you, haven't had your life experienc every possible way, be those posns so you n hear what they need."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">11<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-bmtrPSC0NP" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Follow through wh pledg.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Especially durg Pri, pani n sometim vt marketg a big project supposedly to support LGBTQ+ people⁠—but that don't actually do anythg tangible to help.</p><p>"Any rporatn who is g a rabow logo or any rporatn who is dog any type of Pri stuff or if you're a ffee shop and you're makg a rabow latte and you're sellg , you're sentially makg money off this muny," <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Bethany C. Meyers</a>, LGBTQ+ activist and founr of <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">the project</a>, told mbg <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk="> an terview last year</a>. "Therefore money should be given back to the muny."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">12<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-1Uy7uVXqTe" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Protect trans rights.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Across the world, transgenr people still face signifint discrimatn and barriers to well-beg. For example, <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">acrdg to the Amerin Amy of Pediatrics</a>, trans people experience disproportnately high rat of homelsns, physil vlence, and mental health issu while also often lackg accs to health re and surance. Acrdg to the <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">2015 U.S. Transgenr Survey</a>, 33% have experienced mistreatment at the hands of a doctor the last year, 47% have experienced sexual asslt, 54% experienced harassment while school related to beg trans, and a staggerg 40% have attempted suici their lifetim (ne tim the attempted suici rate of the general populatn). </p><p>In the U.S., the Supreme Court is currently batg whether 's legal to fire someone for beg trans and whether 's legal to ban trans people om servg the ary. </p><p>"Transgenr Amerins seek the same opportuni as everyone else—to work hard school or at our jobs and to participate our muni," says Nilas Talbott, one of the platiffs <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk="><em>Stockman v. Tmp</em></a>, a feral lawsu opposg the trans ary ban. "As someone who's been told I n't pursue my dream reer ary service even though I'm qualified, I know how important is for alli to treat transgenr employe and -workers wh the same rpect as everyone else and to make work cisns based on skills and acplishments, not who we are. In Oh, where I live, there aren't statewi protectns for LGBTQ people, so if alli don't step up to support me, I uld be fired jt bee I'm transgenr, regardls of my abily to do the job."</p><p>Votg and civic engagement are one of the most important ways to support trans people: Vote out policians who support discrimatory laws agast trans people, and ll up your lol officials to mand they ph forward legal protectns for trans rights. </p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">13<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-w_kOhBJi1dB" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Protect black trans women, specifilly.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Black trans women are one of the <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">most margalized and vulnerable groups</a> wh the LGBTQ+ muny, facg <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">heightened vlence</a>, <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">unemployment, and health dispari</a>. Te allyship th requir specifilly amplifyg and supportg black trans women.</p><p>"For those wh the fancial means to do so, donatg money to LGBTQ that center the needs of transgenr women of lor n have a major and direct impact on people's liv. While natnal anizatns supportg the LGBTQ muny do important work, money donated to the groups do not always make to the most margalized members of the muny," Mala explas. "Do rearch to see which groups your muny are led by and serve trans folks of lor, and ntribute however you n!"</p><p>Crawford also emphasiz the importance of llg out your iends and fay if you hear them makg transphobic ments: "Protect Black trans women by llg out transphobia wh your muny. Use your voice to te and advote."</p><p>You n also donate to black trans funds such as <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">The Marsha P. Johnson Instute</a>.</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">14<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-3IIYjeCFRNv" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Advote for more clive schools.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Everyone is at risk of beg bullied, but LGBTQ+ dividuals face more hostile suatns," expla bloggers <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Nicholas Fronduto and Anthony Nilo</a>. "Schools need to take more actn regardg anti-LGBT behavrs/bias and work proactively to ensure <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">more clive environments</a>. Some stunts do not feel safe at their school bee nothg is beg done regardg bullyg. Words n fely have a negative effect on others, so we all need to be more ut of what we say and do."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">15<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-0wdnw7iFIqu" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Don't make assumptns about someone's sexual orientatn.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Pay attentn to when you reflexively assume people are straight, such as assumg your female iend is lookg to date guys. "We should never assume we know someone's sexual orientatn. Everyone is unique, and we should be acceptg of that whout judgment," Fronduto and Nilo say. </p><p>Avoid words like "boyiend" and "girliend" when talkg about other people’s relatnships too, says Crawford, unls you know those are the terms they e. Otherwise, sprg for a genr-ntral label like "<a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">partner</a>."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">16<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-HjS79-Ht1Sl" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Also, don't make assumptns about every LGBTQ+ person you meet. </h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"When you know or have met a person who intifi as LGBTQ+, know that you have only met one such dividual," says <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Symonne Kennedy, LMSW</a>, psychotherapist at The Genr & Sexualy Therapy Center. "Alli n really show support by not assumg that we all have somehow lived the same life, have the same goals, enjoy the same terts, etc. Rather than tryg to assume and fend, try stead to listen and beiend, as you would wh any other member of a given muny."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">17<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-jgCwLWWI-5M" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Dch genr stereotyp.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"No matter what culture we have grown up , we have all been subject to the ia of genr rol. Alli n show support by makg a nsc effort to <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">unlearn the stereotyp</a> that prcribe specific genr scripts and unrme genr exprsn and dividualized inty formatn," Kennedy explas. "It may be helpful to remember that LGBTQ+-intified dividuals have grown up the same world as everyone else and therefore may also be workg to unlearn the stereotyp."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">18<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-e1xbxIFNA" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Learn how to apologize whout fensivens.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"We all make mistak, and when to genr and queer-affirmg language, 's only a matter of time until you'll slip up—even wh the bt of tentns," says queer sex therapist <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Casey Tanner, LCPC</a>. "When you do slip up, those tentns don't matter so much as the harm that is done the mistake. This don't mean you need to be extra hard on yourself, employ negative self-talk, or shame spiral. It do mean that amends may be necsary."</p><p>"Every queer person is different, and we all have different languag of apology, so I don't speak for everyone. I do thk 's fair to say that, generally, we don't want to hear exc or explanatns, and we don't want a self-flagellatg apology that puts a posn to soothe straight or cis people. The bt method is typilly to apologize, rrect yourself, move on, and do better the future. If you need to procs your mistake, or want to learn ways to do better, do NOT ask the person you have harmed. Go to someone you know is a great ally or a profsnal who you n pay to help you wh that work. It isn't a queer person's job to te you."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">19<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-R4oaIpKYgKV" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Foc on listeng.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Let margalized muni lead the way. You are there for support, so make sure you are listeng to and amplifyg the voic of others. Make sure you're not jt listeng to your fellow alli. Allyship is based around the folks you claim to be an ally to. This means listeng more than you talk spac, tg yourself, and promotg muny lears," says Kahn.</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">20<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-pUx5uChuF07" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Never out anyone.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>Jt bee someone has told <em>you </em>about their sexual orientatn or genr revelatns don't mean that 's open rmatn. The same go for if someone sually mentns someone else's sexual or genr inty. Don't assume the rmatn is public unls the person qutn themselv publicly stat .</p><p>"Beg out is not a simple cisn for a lot of folks, and this is not a choice you n make for someone else," says Kahn.</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">21<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-ELUgUeygrV3" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Ask qutns.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"If you're straight and you're an ally—or you're straight and you want to be an ally, and you don't know, and you <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">don't want to ms up</a> so you don't try—jt ask. Jt <em>ask</em>. Ask any qutns. That's the only way you'll ever get the opportuny to unrstand," Ward said. "And then listen. Listen to the answers."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">22<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-sa5iVWn4zLf" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Be an ally even when there are no queer people the room.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Beg a good ally means showg up for the muny when you do not even know if anyone the muny is prent to see you do ," says sex tor and trma specialist <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Jimanekia Eborn</a>. "It is important to be an ally and acplice at all tim. And even more when no one is around."</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">23<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-Y8RVuFQA9DY" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Remember that llg yourself an ally is not enough.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Namg yourself an ally is not enough. Allyship is a practice, not an endpot," Crawford explas. "Do the work to actively dismantle systems that dispt the safety of the LGBTQ muny. You nnot em yourself an ally jt bee you've gone to Pri or have a queer bt iend. Your allyship mt be named by folk wh the muny."</p><p>Khan adds, "Beg an ally is an actn, not a tle. It's not somethg you are. It's somethg you do. Don't let your allyship beg and end here. Keep growg, learng, and fightg!"</p></div></span><span><div class="sc-1osfqhu-0 jIayrz"><span class="sc-1osfqhu-1 keyWAG">24<!-- -->.</span><h2 id="mbg-jVCVoV2Dn7b" class="sc-1osfqhu-3 kXrvkz">Don't s on the sil.</h2></div></span><span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-5 iItpuX"><p>"Not dog anythg is almost as bad as dog somethg negative," Hoton ballet soloist <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">Harper Watters</a> last year <a href=" target="_blank" class="mbg-track-event" data-track-event-typ="click" data-track-type="article-lk" data-track-prop-element-id="-body-lk" data-track-prop-label="page_type | element_id" data-track-prop-tegory="Lk" data-track-prop-lk=">told mbg</a>. "Put yourself outsi of your fort zone. Put yourself to the uncertaty. Always somethg really good, I feel, happens om that. By not participatg somethg, you're still affectg someone. Small acts of kdns or change will make a greater change."</p></div></span></div><asi class="sc-1jo7k-0 fIGSaL"><div></div><div style="display:none"></div><div></div></asi></div></span><div class="sc-11rlt5o-6 dtScKh"><div class="sc-11rlt5o-7 hocuZv"><div data-exp-id="article-bottom" class="sc-11rlt5o-8 dLWyXj"></div><div class="sc-15o9lv8-0 gilrep"><a href="/wc/kelly-gonsalv"><div class="sc-11lw232-0 SFNw sc-15o9lv8-2 bDIZRl"><picture><source media="(m-width: 1024px)" width="78" height="78" srcSet=", 2x"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" width="70" height="70" srcSet=", 2x"/><img role="" alt="Kelly Gonsalv thor page." fetchprry="high" tle="Kelly Gonsalv thor page." src=" width="50" height="50" srcSet=", 2x"/></picture></div></a><div><a href="/wc/kelly-gonsalv"><div class="sc-15o9lv8-3 iKOfRs">Kelly Gonsalv</div><div class="sc-15o9lv8-4 dJJZhW">Contributg Sex & Relatnships Edor</div></a><div class="sc-15o9lv8-5 bHPKlw"><p><a href=">Kelly Gonsalv</a> is a multi-certified sex tor and relatnship ach helpg people figure out how to create datg and sex liv that actually feel good — more open, more optimistic, and more pleasurable. In addn to workg wh dividuals her private practice, Kelly serv as the Sex & Relatnships Edor at mdbodygreen. She has a gree journalism om <a href=">Northwtern Universy</a>, and she’s been traed and certified by leadg sex and relatnship stutns such as <a href=" target="_blank">The Gottman Instute</a> and <a href=" target="_blank">Everyone Derv Sex Ed</a>, among others. Her work has been featured at <em>The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolan,</em> and elsewhere.</p><p>Wh her warm, playful approach to achg and facilatn, Kelly creat rehgly ndid spac for procsg and healg challeng around datg, sexualy, inty, body image, and relatnships. She’s particularly enthiastic about helpg softhearted women get re-energized around the datg experience and fd joy the procs of nnectg wh others. She believ relatnships should be easy—and that, wh room for self-reflectn and the right toolk, they n be.</p><p>You n stay the loop about her latt programs, gathergs, and other projects through her newsletter: <a href=" target="_blank"></a><br></p></div></div></div></div><asi class="sc-11rlt5o-9 iHRMFp"></asi></div><div></div><div class="sc-11rlt5o-2 jagkAl"></div></article></div><footer class="sc-4x6sxh-0 kyATUY"><a href="/" aria-label="Go to ma page"><div class="sc-4x6sxh-1 gXBEJD"></div></a><div class="sc-4x6sxh-2 kXYAYF"><a href="/about">About </a><a href="/ntact">Contact</a><a href="/ntribute">Wre for </a><a href="/jobs">Jobs</a><a href="/advertise">Advertise</a><a href="/affiliat">Bee an Affiliate</a><a href="/llective">Collective</a></div><div class="sc-4x6sxh-3 iNKxFr"><a href="><svg height="40.71" class="sc-4x6sxh-4 cypTyX"><tle>Instagram .

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