I was a young gay man hopg universy athletics would help me f . Then the oil wrtlg began
Contents:
THE 'GAY' SI OF HAZG
I was a young gay man hopg universy athletics would help me f . I had no ia llege was gog to be so much like a gay porn movie.
After two weeks of tryouts, we had fally ma the gra, and this was our reward: An afternoon of embarrassg hazg activi, followed by a homoerotic climax that seemed to have e straight out of my 17-year-old gay subnsc. On top of that, I'd known I was gay sce I was 8.
Not only did beg a jock boost my self-nfince, was an antidote to my anxieti about my burgeong homosexualy, about the girlish lilt that uld emerge my voice or my ocsnal extravagant hand motns. I had always been pretty fortable wh the ia that I was gay, but I was still stgglg wh the implitn that meant beg ls manly than the other boys. When I stepped onto that oil-vered tarp to face off agast my opponent, I wasn't preoccupied by the sane homoeroticism of the moment.
THE SECRET GAY HISTORY OF AN AMERIN FRATERNY
Instead, I was thkg about how this entire display was predited on the fact that gay sexualy was lghable and gross.
If this was the kd of macho, homophobic stuff I had to tolerate to be on a sports team, there was no pot even tryg. I had to e to terms wh the fact that my gayns ma me ls butch than Ice, and that was better than beg a douchebag. A world which homosexualy is taboo but cross-drsg and semi-naked wrtlg are acceptable and paradg your penis and tticl is almost rigur.
What isn't beg talked about much is the elephant the room, the issue that most people are thkg about when they hear about stori of what sports teams are dog to one another ually at night behd those closed doors: Both latent homosexualy and homophobia are playg a huge role the hazg abe our kids are experiencg, and our societal standards that dictate what a "real man" is are to blame.