What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• CHARACTERISTICS OF GAY, BISEXUAL AND OTHER MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN WH MULTIPLE DIAGNOS OF INFECT SYPHILIS BRISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, 2005–2014 : SEXUALLY TRANSMTED DISEAS
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• CHARACTERISTICS OF LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENR DIVIDUALS ENTERG SUBSTANCE ABE TREATMENT
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• CHARACTERISTICS OF GAY, BISEXUAL AND OTHER MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN TTG AND RETTG AT ATRALIA'S FIRST SHOP-ONT RAPID POT-OF-RE HIV TTG SERVICE
• REGULAR ARTICLECHARACTERISTICS OF LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENR DIVIDUALS ENTERG SUBSTANCE ABE TREATMENT
• 15 STEREOTYP THAT LIM OUR PERCEPTNS OF GAY MEN
• GAY STEREOTYP: ARE THEY TE?

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

Published fal eded form as:PMCID: PMC5442596NIHMSID: NIHMS860386AbstractThe Bear muny exists as a subculture reactn to the larger gay muny.

While qualative data document such self-intifiers as mascule-actg gay men who weigh more and have more body hair, there has to date been no quantative analysis of this group’s characteristics. In rponse, we nducted two large-sle studi of gay men intifyg as Bears (n = 469) to survey their self-reported physil, behavral, and psychologil tras.

Keywords: Bears, Gay Culture, Gay and Bisexual Men, Self-teem, Masculy, ObyINTRODUCTIONThe gay muny is ultimately a heterogeneo one wh many subgroups and subcultur—one of the monali among them beg the sire to have same-sex enunters.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

Bee there is a arth of general rearch regardg this muny, and no studi to date that e quantative methods, we cid to explore this muny quantatively—g an Inter-nvenience sample, followed by a purposive suggted, the Bear culture exhibs and valu a greater sense of domant (but not necsarily domeerg) “thentic masculy” parison to other subcultur wh the gay muny (e. In rponse and ntrast wh Leathermen, Bears mata their mascule inty whout adoptg negative hypermascule tennci to acmodate all partners, spe their size or body is some theoretil support for why the Bear inty spltered om the gay male mastream culture.

CHARACTERISTICS OF GAY, BISEXUAL AND OTHER MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN WH MULTIPLE DIAGNOS OF INFECT SYPHILIS BRISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, 2005–2014 : SEXUALLY TRANSMTED DISEAS

G., twks, partyboys, A-listers) that are anthetil to, and even antagonistic towards Bears, men who are hairier and heavier exist and adopt an inty to afont the stereotypil “alpha” gay male. Popular culture, the media, and Wtern hetero- and homosexual expectatns have normalized the ial male body as one that is lean, mcular, and v-shaped (wh broad shoulrs, a narrow waist, and a flat but well-fed stomach) (Olivardia, Pope, Borowiecki, & Cohane, 2000).

G., poor self-image/self-teem) velop both heterosexual and homosexual men exhibg ls sirable physil tras (Beren, Hayn, Wilfley, & Grilo, 1996; Morrison, Morrison, & Sager, 2004; Pepl et al., 2009; Weer, 2009; Yelland & Tiggemann, 2003). However, where mastream gay men report wantg partners wh those prevly stated, admired or revered characteristics (Moskowz, Rieger, & Seal, 2009), Bears may not (Manley et al., 2007). Whereas mastream gay men often do not engage sired or preferred sexual behavrs bee of fears of rejectn or judgment (Kamski, Chapman, Hayn, & Own, 2004), those the more acceptg Bear muny reject the fears due to their beg ultimately “feme” nature (Hennen, 2005).

G., uratn, fistg, voyrism, exhibnism) (Grov, Parsons, & Bimbi, 2010) to the active existence of the Bear muny and regnn of this subculture by the larger gay/bisexual male culture, more rearch is need to explore the gree to which the prevly mentned physil, behavral, and psychologil differenc actually exist. In explorg the smaller subcultur of the larger gay/bisexual male culture, soclogy, psychology, and even public health n better expla and addrs the needs of men wh same-sex attractns.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

Specifilly, our first study was more exploratory and foced on the physil tras, partner selectn, and rejectn creria of gay men (wh which we llected enough Bears for analys).

A total of 531 men answered the 2: IML/PriFt Study Procr For the send study, data were llected g an anonymo survey admistered at two pennt gay events May and June 2008: the Internatnal Mr. Our rults scribe a subculture of men who were different than mastream gay men their personal looks, partner preferenc, behavrs, and psychologi. Consirg the likely prevalence of a Bear inty may be held (wh varyg tenaci) by about 14–22% of gay men, the rults provi addnal evince for the manift and latent heterogeney of gay and bisexual rults regardg body tras and partner selectn nfirm, for the first time a systematic manner, fdgs documented prev terview and ethnographic studi.

CHARACTERISTICS OF LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENR DIVIDUALS ENTERG SUBSTANCE ABE TREATMENT

To be able to take a fist or urate on another man may be how the men exemplify their form of masculy—particularly a sexual climate where most gay men do not want to, nnot, or will not enact the behavrs. Regardls of the potential explanatn, Bears appear to be more sexually diverse and explorative than mastream gay and bisexual rults documented lower self-teem, which ntradicted both our hypothis and others’ terview rearch (e. Simply, to the Bear culture and reactn to mastream gay men, Bears may self-prent as feelg good; however, ternally, they may wish that they had those normative ialized bety tras.

In this rpect, Bears may overtimate and overstate re towards partners to self-prent as beg distct om men adherg to the mastream gay culture (which are often stereotyped as treatg partners as disposable) (Isay, 2009). A portra emerg om the Bear rults that supports a theory for why the gay muny ultimately is so heterogeneo (and th produc the high gree of spoff subcultur): Cultur facilate succsful same-sex enunters. As Bears are not vastly different towards their sexual partners than mastream gay men, the culture veloped to ensure that even the heavit, hairit, and/or shortt dividual uld partner.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

Whether the ems are applible to gay men, bisexuals, or men qutng their sexualy remas rpect to methods, the parabily of sampl may be somewhat uncerta, as one was llected through ter surveyg and the other, through paper survey. A study that answers the rearch qutns would provi further evince to support the heterogeney hypothis: Not only is the mastream gay muny culturally heterogeneo, but so are the sexual health behavrs and problems wh last suggtn for future rearch would be to tt some of the theori generated by the current data. Do Bears e their inty to pe wh the larger gay culture; do they nstct as a form of rebelln; or is their inty merely a tool ed to acce sex partners?

Future studi are need to ntribute more ncrete nclu, rearch such as ours nsistently fds creased evince that the gay muny should not be treated as one divisible block. Bears may very well prove to be reactnary figur to the normative ialized male bety that is pervasive both the straight and gay mastream cultur. Future rearchers should wonr what other ways nformg or not nformg to gay norms, stereotyp, and the larger heterosexual culture impacts dividuals and their self-inti.

It prumably means the advertiser nsirs himself a “real” man—real, that is, acrdg to a standard of masculy he don’t attribute to other gay men. So many gay men learn we are different om other boys by havg the fact poted out and ridiculed by bulli durg our young, most imprsnable, years. As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard.

CHARACTERISTICS OF GAY, BISEXUAL AND OTHER MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN TTG AND RETTG AT ATRALIA'S FIRST SHOP-ONT RAPID POT-OF-RE HIV TTG SERVICE

How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy? Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected. Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds.

The late Harry Hay often lled "the father of the morn gay movement, " found the Mattache Society Los Angel the fall of 1950 for gay men to gather and ponr the qutns Hay had long been askg: Who are gay people? Hay didn’t tend the Mattach to be a polil anizatn per se, but a group that would e together to enhance their self-unrstandg and explore the ntributns gay people had ma to the human race through the ag.

REGULAR ARTICLECHARACTERISTICS OF LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENR DIVIDUALS ENTERG SUBSTANCE ABE TREATMENT

In a 1987 say tled “A Separate People Whose Time Has Come, ” Hay scribed homosexuals as “spir people, ” who, throughout the ag, had served society their rol as “msengers and tercers, shamans of both genrs, prits and prits, imagemakers and prophets, mim and rhapsos, poets and playwrights, healers and nurturers, teachers and preachers, tkers and tkerers, searchers and rearchers.

Hay believed that gay people had somethg special to teach nongay people about human life, and for that reason should be nurtured, rather than reviled, by society. He said gay men look at the world differently, are uniquely nonaggrsive, nonpetive, oriented toward sharg and cled to velop what Hay lled “subject-subject” love relatnships of equals.

In a 1990 terview for the Washgton Bla, Harry Hay told me our llg as gay men “is not only to accept our uniquens, but to affirm , make joyo. Many lbian, gay and bisexual people have early heterosexual experienc, but are still lbian, gay or bisexual; many avowed heterosexuals have had sexual ntact wh members of their own sex, but are still heterosexual. Many lbian, gay and bisexual people know that they are attracted to members of their own sex at an early age, sometim as young as 6 or 7 years old.

15 STEREOTYP THAT LIM OUR PERCEPTNS OF GAY MEN

Myth: Lbian, gay and bisexual people are "flntg" their sexualy when they talk about their partner, hold hands or kiss one another public.

GAY STEREOTYP: ARE THEY TE?

In surveys of lbian, gay and bisexual people, 52-87% have been verbally harassed, 21-27% have been pelted wh objects, 13-38% have been chased or followed and 9-24% have been physilly asslted.

The most accurate generalizatn might be this: lbian, gay and bisexual people are different om one another the same ways that heterosexual people are different om one another. Infect syphilis rat have been creasg many high-e untri cludg Canada, Uned Stat, and Europe, 1–3 driven predomantly by diagnos among gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex wh men (MSM).

Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay?