What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today Canada

Contents:

• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL
• YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
• AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS INTIFY AS GAY?
• PARENT SPECTS THAT CHILD MIGHT BE GAY
• TELLG FRIENDS AND RELATIV ABOUT A CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• 5 POWERFUL THGS YOU CAN DO IF YOUR CHILD TELLS YOU, "I'M GAY."
• EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• EXPLAG IT TO YOUR KIDS: WHAT DO 'BEG GAY' MEAN?

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns. As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child.

Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero. The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG).

List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL

Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn).

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc. Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay. Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child.

Fortunate Fai: Catholic fai wh lbian dghters and gay sons.

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Fai Negotiate Comg Out. But if your child out as gay, lbian, or bisexual, might e as a shock—many parents feel unprepared, upset, or even a ltle nfed. Bisexual people often hear that their sexualy is “jt a phase, ” and that they’ll eventually be eher straight or gay.

Try lookg at s like Advot for Youth, The Fay Acceptance Project, and Parents, Fai, Friends, and Alli of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG). At what age would a child know for sure she's homosexual? If your child says she's homosexual, regardls of her age, be acceptg and show love and support.

AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS INTIFY AS GAY?

Article SummaryXTo accept that your child is homosexual or bisexual, the first and most important thg is to make sure your child knows that you love them.

For more rmatn on how to talk your child after learng they are homosexual or bisexual, see below.

For straight parents, havg a child reveal that he is gay n be a jolt.

PARENT SPECTS THAT CHILD MIGHT BE GAY

You might ask how long he or she has known, and why he feels he is gay, bi, or trans, suggts Jonathan Tobk, M.

TELLG FRIENDS AND RELATIV ABOUT A CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY

D., a psychiatrist private practice New York Cy and the -thor of When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need to Know.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

You n fd one through the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists. Take the extra step and show your child that you are terted beg the parent of a gay child. Edute yourself on what means to be gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr.

5 POWERFUL THGS YOU CAN DO IF YOUR CHILD TELLS YOU, "I'M GAY."

PFLAG, or Parents for Lbians and Gays, which now has a group for transgenr youth, and holds natnwi chapters and meetgs;. They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.

"For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead. "The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement. Some kids know they are gay high school but don’t tell anyone until years later.

One of the ma issu wh trackg when kids start to intify as gay is that most people assume that all kids start out straight. The realy is that many kids know they are gay at a younger age than you might expect – even elementary school. They found that one percent of kids ag 9-10 intify as gay, bisexual, or transgenr.

EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAY

48% of College Stunts Knew They Were Gay High School. While a portn of kids intify as gay elementary school, what is the age when most kids e out as gay? That beg said, some rearchers om the Sexualy Informatn and Edutn Council of the Uned Stat talked wh llege stunts who intify as gay and bisexual to learn when they were aware of their sexual preferenc.

48% of gay and bisexual llege stunts knew their sexual preferenc high school. 20% of gay and bisexual men knew junr high school pared to six percent of women.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

17% of gay and bisexual men knew gra school pared wh 11% of women.

This data prov the vast majory of LGBTQ+ kids intify as gay before they leave for llege – or intify their sexual preferenc shortly after. There isn’t a that flips when kids turn 18 that term whether or not they are gay.

In some s, the olr adults didn’t realize that openg up about beg gay was an optn. One man, Kenh Felts, knew he was gay om the age of 12. “As long as I was the closet, all of my cisns — both nsc and subnsc — were guid by not wantg people to know I was gay, ” Felts told the Washgton Post.

EXPLAG IT TO YOUR KIDS: WHAT DO 'BEG GAY' MEAN?

Believe or not, ’s a hopeful sign that your teen son has brought up the subject of same-sex attractn and homosexualy. It will also strengthen your bond — and a good parent-child relatnship is one of the bt l of fense agast homosexualy.

Joe Dallas, an expert this field, says that there are three different ways the word “homosexualy” is ed:. The word n refer to a homosexual ndn or orientatn — when an dividual is sexually aroed primarily by members of the same sex.