Your Child Jt Told You He's Gay. Now What? | Psychology Today

how can you tell if your child is gay

Don't ask your child if they're gay or transgenr. Wa for them to e out to you, but create a supportive environment for them to do so.

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WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

One of the ma issu wh trackg when kids intify as gay is that most people assume that all kids start out straight. * how can you tell if your child is gay *

Both lbians and gay men often have a history of cross-sex-typed behavrs: ltle boys beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg.

Prehomosexual boys tend to be more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer.

AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS INTIFY AS GAY?

Gay youth often face their set of challeng after g out about their genr preferenc. * how can you tell if your child is gay *

Children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy. The behavral patterns are feared, loathed and often spoken of directly as harbgers of adult homosexualy. It is only relatively recently, however, that velopmental scientists have nducted ntrolled studi to intify the earlit and most reliable signs of adult homosexualy.

In lookg refully at the childhoods of gay adults, rearchers are fdg an trigug set of behavral ditors that homosexuals seem to have mon. Curly enough, the age-old homophobic fears of many parents reflect some genue predictive currency.

PARENT SPECTS THAT CHILD MIGHT BE GAY

As a parent, you probably want what's bt for your child no matter what. But if your child out as gay, lbian, or bisexual, might e as a shock—many parents feel unprepared, upset, or even a ltle nfed. By learng a... * how can you tell if your child is gay *

Zucker, both psychologists, published a semal paper on childhood markers of homosexualy 1995.

EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAYTIMOFDIATHE DIFFICULT JOURNEYUNRSTANDG, ACKNOWLEDGG, AND SHARG ONE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN WH THE WORLD, IS EASY FOR SOME, WHILE FOR OTHERS THE JOURNEY IS LONG AND DIFFICULT.GETTY-IMAGCOMG OUT ISN'T EASYGAY YOUTH OFTEN FACE THEIR SET OF CHALLENG AFTER G OUT ABOUT THEIR GENR PREFERENC.GETTY-IMAGTHE ROLE OF PARENTSAS PARENTS, ALL YOU N DO IS PROVI THEM WH LOVE AND SUPPORT. THIS N START OM AN EARLY AGE IF YOU N INTIFY THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN.GETTY-IMAG​DRSG UPIT MAY SEEM STEREOTYPIL, BUT SOME REARCH SUGGTS THAT KIDS SHOW THEIR CLATN BY THE WAY THEY DRS UP. GETTY-IMAG​SPEECHAS PER A STUDY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SPEECH OF KIDS WHO ARE CLED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX. THE CHANGE THE TONE N EASILY BE TECTED EVEN WHEN THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. GETTY-IMAG​TOYS PREFERENCEWHEN ROLE-PLAYG, IF A BOY OFTEN TAK THE FEME ROLE OR THE GIRL LIK TO PLAY ROUGH GAM, THEN YOU NEED TO PAY A LTLE ATTENTN. GETTY-IMAGYOU MAY ALSO LIKECOVID: WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR KID'S IMM...

* how can you tell if your child is gay *

So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg.

Given that a small proportn of the populatn is homosexual, prospective studi require a large number of children. Although only 12 percent of the women grew up to be genr dysphoric (the unfortable sense that your blogil sex do not match your genr), the odds of the women reportg a bisexual or homosexual orientatn were up to 23 tim higher than would occur a general sample of young women. Bailey and Zucker, who nducted a retrospective study which adults answered qutns about their past, revealed that 89 percent of randomly sampled gay men relled cross-sex-typed childhood behavrs exceedg the heterosexual median.

The thors found that “those targets who, as adults, intified themselv as homosexual were judged to be genr nonnformg as children.”.

EXPLAG IT TO YOUR KIDS: WHAT DO 'BEG GAY' MEAN?

There is also evince of a “dosage effect”: the more genr-nonnformg characteristics there are childhood, the more likely is that a homosexual or bisexual orientatn will be prent adulthood. Not all ltle boys who like to wear drs grow up to be gay, nor do all ltle girls who spise drs bee lbians. I took to middle school wrtlg as a rather scrawny 80-pound eighth grar, and so dog, ironilly beme all too nsc of my homosexual orientatn.

Cross-cultural data show that prehomosexual boys are more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer; they are also ls likely to be childhood bulli.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

Rearchers readily nce that there are que likely multiple—and no doubt extremely plited—velopmental rout to adult homosexualy. Bee the data often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc. All else beg equal, I spect we would be hard-prsed to fd parents who would actually prefer their offsprg to be homosexual.

Evolutnarily, parental homophobia is a no-braer: gay sons and lbian dghters are not likely to reproduce (unls they get creative). Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow's close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre. So cultivate your ltle prehomosexual's native talents, and your ultimate geic payoff uld, strangely enough, be even larger wh one very special gay child than would be if 10 medcre straight offsprg leaped om your los.

PARENTG A GAY CHILD

I n say as a once prehomosexual pipsqueak that some preparatn on the part of others would have ma easier on me, rather than nstantly fearg rejectn or worryg about some rels slipup leadg to my “exposure.” It would have at least avoid all those awkward, csant qutns durg my teenage years about why I wasn't datg a nice pretty girl (or qutns om the nice pretty girl about why I was datg her and rejectg her advanc). And another thg: mt be pretty hard to look to your prehomosexual toddler's limpid ey, bsh away the okie cmbs om her cheek and toss her out on the streets for beg gay.This article was origally published wh the tle "Is Your Child Gay?" SA Md 23, 3, 50-53 (July 2012)doi:10.1038/scientifimerinmd0712-50(Further Readg).

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL

They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.

"For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead.

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

"The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement.

HOW DO I KNOW IF MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD IS GAY?

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No!

San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay. One of the ma issu wh trackg when kids start to intify as gay is that most people assume that all kids start out straight.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU SPECT YOUR KID IS GAY OR TRANSGENR

The realy is that many kids know they are gay at a younger age than you might expect – even elementary school.

IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?

While a portn of kids intify as gay elementary school, what is the age when most kids e out as gay?

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY

How do I know if my five-year-old is gay? - The Globe and Mail .

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