When Your Child Is Gay | Psychology Today

how to tell if a kid is gay

Gay youth often face their set of challeng after g out about their genr preferenc.

Contents:

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * how to tell if a kid is gay *

Both lbians and gay men often have a history of cross-sex-typed behavrs: ltle boys beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg. Prehomosexual boys tend to be more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer. It is only relatively recently, however, that velopmental scientists have nducted ntrolled studi to intify the earlit and most reliable signs of adult homosexualy.

In lookg refully at the childhoods of gay adults, rearchers are fdg an trigug set of behavral ditors that homosexuals seem to have mon. So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg. Given that a small proportn of the populatn is homosexual, prospective studi require a large number of children.

PARENT SPECTS THAT CHILD MIGHT BE GAY

Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * how to tell if a kid is gay *

Although only 12 percent of the women grew up to be genr dysphoric (the unfortable sense that your blogil sex do not match your genr), the odds of the women reportg a bisexual or homosexual orientatn were up to 23 tim higher than would occur a general sample of young women. Bailey and Zucker, who nducted a retrospective study which adults answered qutns about their past, revealed that 89 percent of randomly sampled gay men relled cross-sex-typed childhood behavrs exceedg the heterosexual median. The thors found that “those targets who, as adults, intified themselv as homosexual were judged to be genr nonnformg as children.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

A Mnota school district is facg a Department of Jtice vtigatn and a private lawsu over s alleged failure to bat antigay bullyg.... * how to tell if a kid is gay *

There is also evince of a “dosage effect”: the more genr-nonnformg characteristics there are childhood, the more likely is that a homosexual or bisexual orientatn will be prent adulthood. I took to middle school wrtlg as a rather scrawny 80-pound eighth grar, and so dog, ironilly beme all too nsc of my homosexual orientatn. Cross-cultural data show that prehomosexual boys are more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer; they are also ls likely to be childhood bulli.

AM I GAY?

* how to tell if a kid is gay *

Rearchers readily nce that there are que likely multiple—and no doubt extremely plited—velopmental rout to adult homosexualy. Bee the data often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc. All else beg equal, I spect we would be hard-prsed to fd parents who would actually prefer their offsprg to be homosexual.

Evolutnarily, parental homophobia is a no-braer: gay sons and lbian dghters are not likely to reproduce (unls they get creative). Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow's close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre.

WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

So cultivate your ltle prehomosexual's native talents, and your ultimate geic payoff uld, strangely enough, be even larger wh one very special gay child than would be if 10 medcre straight offsprg leaped om your los. I n say as a once prehomosexual pipsqueak that some preparatn on the part of others would have ma easier on me, rather than nstantly fearg rejectn or worryg about some rels slipup leadg to my “exposure. And another thg: mt be pretty hard to look to your prehomosexual toddler's limpid ey, bsh away the okie cmbs om her cheek and toss her out on the streets for beg article was origally published wh the tle "Is Your Child Gay?

They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.

EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAY

"For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead. "The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement.

Over the years, Magic and Cookie have been open about their rponsibili as parents — like when Magic told Ellen DeGener that he was "so happy" when their son EJ me out as gay.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR KID IS GAY

In 2014, EJ told PEOPLE that, although his parents "pretty much already knew" that he was gay, they were worried about the public's reactn. If you thk your brother is gay bee he watch a "girly" TV show or his voice sounds a certa way, that's relyg on stereotyp.

If you live a particularly homophobic or transphobic area, discs safety plans wh the fay member se of vlence om others. If your fay member has e out as gay or bisexual, accept that they will end up seeg someone of their own genr, and that's perfectly okay. Believe or not, ’s a hopeful sign that your teen son has brought up the subject of same-sex attractn and homosexualy.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL

It will also strengthen your bond — and a good parent-child relatnship is one of the bt l of fense agast homosexualy. The word n refer to a homosexual ndn or orientatn — when an dividual is sexually aroed primarily by members of the same sex. “Homosexualy” n be ed to mean specifilly homosexual behavr — other words, sexual ntact wh a person of the same sex.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

The word is often ed to scribe a ame of md when a person se homosexualy as a primary intifyg characteristic (ually acpanied by acceptance of homosexualy as beg normal and moral).

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* HOW TO TELL IF A KID IS GAY

I thk my child may be gay: 6 thgs parents n do .

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