What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• JT FOUND OUT MY DGHTER MIGHT BE GAY. NOW WHAT?
• “MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

JT FOUND OUT MY DGHTER MIGHT BE GAY. NOW WHAT?

It seems to me that your beliefs on tolerance toward those that are gay were ntgent upon the ia that "other people" are gay and "we" ("we" beg you and your children) are straight. If you tly believe what you say you believe, shouldn't matter whether she's gay. What's more, if she is gay (and pecially if she out, or is outed, while school), then she will need people that will support her, bee suici rat among gay teens is signifintly higher (some reports I've seen show as much as 5 tim higher, and even higher nservative areas) than among straight teens, due to thgs like bullyg, stutnalized and ternalized homophobia, and general beg prsured (by peers and fay) to be somethg that they're not (straight).

Even if you did figure out, whout a doubt, that she's gay do not out her. She might not even know whether or not she's gay. Growg up, I was a tomboy — or what Larry David would later ll “pre-gay.

And while my father was anx when I first me out as gay at 19, I have only ever felt supported by him. Rachel Held Evans nclus her blog post If my son or dghter were gay wh this paragraph:. If God bls Dan and me wh a child who is gay, I would want that child to know whout a doubt that he or she is loved unndnally.

“MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE

I believe Rachel’s motivatn is to create a more welg and lovg environment the church for those who intify themselv as homosexuals, or who stggle wh homosexual sire. I admire and agree wh her motive, and mt say that I’ve learned om her this area of beg much more reful how I speak and wre about homosexualy. First, she don’t munite any ncern about the sfulns of homosexual sir nor the immoraly of homosexual actns.

She seems to nvey that homosexual sir are not part of human brokenns, and that to pursue homosexual practic do not have any bearg on a person’s relatnship wh Christ. ” There is no ditn that she se anythg wrong or unbiblil about homosexualy. Send, Rachel seems to intify everyone who tak the view that homosexual sir are part of broken human sfulns, and that homosexual actns are s, as bulli.

However, ’s irrponsible and unfair to group all who say that homosexualy is immoral as bulli of Christ’s ltle on. What do you mean by “I thk I’m gay”?

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

Are you therefore planng to pursue homosexual relatnships? Sixth, if your son agre that homosexualy is sful, and he wants to have victory over the temptatns, then there are many Gospel promis you n enurage him wh.

However, if he says that he believ homosexualy to be okay and he’s cid to pursue , then while assurg him of your ntued love and re, you mt lovgly warn him of the spirual and physil dangers of homosexualy. Seventh, I’d enurage the son not to see himself as a homosexual, not to fe himself by his sexualy.

Rather I’d want him to see himself as creature ma God’s image, a man wh many parts to his inty, a person wh many gifts, a son wh a diverse character and personaly, one part of which, at least for the moment, is to have a homosexual sir. Eighth, I would ask him to keep g to church, pecially as homosexualy is sometim the rult of worshippg self rather than God (Romans 1:24-25). But I would ask his permissn to let the pastor know about his suatn bee I’d want to urge the pastor to greater sensivy towards those stgglg wh homosexualy.