Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• LIVG AUTHENTILLY THE LGBTQ COMMUNY: HOW TO MOVE PAST “GAY SHAME” [VIO]
• WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT BEG GAY?: PERSPECTIV OM YOUTH
• ANRSON TALKS ABOUT HOW HE LEARNED TO EMBRACE BEG GAY
• HOW TO RENCILE YOUR CHRISTIAN FAH WH YOUR GAY LIFE
• HOW TO EMBRACE AGG AS A GAY MAN
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are.

The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs. You may regret the acceptance of your orientatn the future, pecially if you're a part of the world where the gay muny is beg prosecuted by a specific culture.

Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy. But if you’re a member of the LGBTQIA+ muny, gettg to know and accept yourself n be even more dntg and strsful a world that still displays homophobia and transphobia. For lbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer or qutng, tersex, and asexual folk, pl all the many other people wh a range of other sexual and genr inti, regnizg, embracg, and exprsg your inty volv unique challeng and for some this procs n last a lifetime.

LIVG AUTHENTILLY THE LGBTQ COMMUNY: HOW TO MOVE PAST “GAY SHAME” [VIO]

Stage 5: Inty Pri – the phase when you observe to a larger gree the great divi between your culture and the homophobic/transphobic culture, which might e you to reject heteronormative and cisgenr culture, spur you to actn as an activist, or pique your tert LGBTQIA+ events, art, lerature, and media. Watch a ee webar on how to live thentilly by overg gay shame Breakg the cycle of gay shame the LGBTQ muny So how do we break the cycle of shame the LGBTQ muny? Read more about how gay men pensate for gay shame Developg a sense of LGBTQ empowerment Fdg the eedom and LGBTQ empowerment to be the te you may not be a lear journey.

Internalized homophobia -- self-shamg, self-hatred -- leads many gay men, and many queer people general, to recreate their closets long after they're "out" by shunng others, particularly those they nsir "flamboyant.

This parable piece by lbian wrer Sarah Prager go through the lp of great gays who changed the world -- om ventor Alan Turg to Tchaikovsky, the poser, to the Renaissance pater and ventor Leonardo da Vci. Fd a gay elr who's been where you are and r for your well-beg, someone who unrstands you and never pass judgment, someone who lets you make the mistak you need to make. There would be no ternalized self-hatred if no one had ever told you that beg gay is wrong, or that gay sex is disgtg, or that gay men n't feel real love, or that beg transgenr is fake, or that beg nonbary is a mental illns or a ll for attentn.

WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT BEG GAY?: PERSPECTIV OM YOUTH

If you thk a word like "gay" or "queer" works for you right now (aga, don't have to work for you forever -- labels do not e wh lifetime ntracts) and you're not ready to tell everyone, simply say out loud to yourself. Published fal eded form as:PMCID: PMC3326393NIHMSID: NIHMS358675AbstractThis article explor gay and bisexual male adolcents’ posive perceptns of their sexual orientatn inty.

Addnal primary them and sub-them were intified wh each tegory that further illtrate how gay/bisexual youth were able to velop posive nceptualizatns of their sexual orientatn spe experiencg negative societal msag about beg gay/bisexual. Keywords: Bisexual, gay, male, riliency, sexual orientatn, youthAdolcence is a velopmental perd where young people are maturg physilly, emotnally and socially as they transn to adulthood (Erikson, 1980; Hill, 1983).

When the fluenc are negative, psychologil distrs among adolcents may rult, pecially for those youth who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual (Almeida, Johnson, Corliss, Molnar & Azrael, 2009; Hershberger & D’Augelli, 1995; Ueno, 2005). Th, this article tak a rilience-based approach to examg sexual orientatn inty among gay/bisexual male adolcents by sharg their perceptns regardg the posive aspects of beg gay/bisexual. One study that addrsed this topic prented riliency strategi among lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) young people North Wt England and South Wal wh the ntext of hetero-normative environments (Surfield, Roen & McDermott, 2008).

ANRSON TALKS ABOUT HOW HE LEARNED TO EMBRACE BEG GAY

The thors assert that even though the young men were livg a hetero-normative Puerto Rin culture wh pervasive homophobia and cultural stigma, they veloped riliency strategi that helped them to overe potential obstacl. This was one of the few studi found to prent riliency strategi veloped by gay/bisexual adolcents to bat negative social and cultural ntug rearch is need on the velopmental challeng faced by LGB adolcents, pecially those who are also members of other opprsed groups such as youth of lor, a parallel le of scientific quiry is also need to explore the strengths and rilienci monstrated by LGB youth.

Such limatns do not allow for a more nuanced unrstandg of the current lived experienc of LGB youth’s inty exploratn procs, as has been seen more recent qualative studi of sexual orientatn inty (Ja, Harper, Fernanz, & the ATN, 2009)The purpose of the current study is to provi sights to the posive nceptualizatns that gay/bisexual male adolcents posss regardg their sexual orientatn inty utilizg qualative phenomenologil and nstctivist ameworks. Although we did quire about the full range of perceptns and experienc related to sexual orientatn inty the larger study om which the data were extracted, we chose to foc solely on the posive aspects of posssg a gay/bisexual sexual orientatn inty for the current vtigatn given the lack of empiril data foced specifilly on riliency-related factors among gay/bisexual male adolcents.

We unrstand and acknowledge that gay/bisexual youth are also nonted wh challeng related to their sexual orientatn inty and enurage rears to exame prr lerature prented earlier for an exploratn of such factors. Sce prr rearch also has monstrated that sexual orientatn inty velopment for female adolcents and adults is different than that of male adolcents and adults (Diamond, 2005; Diamond & Sav-Williams, 2000; Schneir, 2001), we also foc this vtigatn exclively on gay/bisexual male adolcents.

HOW TO RENCILE YOUR CHRISTIAN FAH WH YOUR GAY LIFE

METHODSParticipantsParticipants for the prent study were 63 male youth who self-intified as gay or bisexual and were between ag of 15 and 22 at the time of recment.

In orr to take part the study, participants met the followg eligibily creria: 1) be blogilly male; 2) be between the ag of 14 and 22; 3) self-intify as Ain Amerin, Hispanic/Lato, or Whe non-Hispanic/European Amerin; 4) self-intify as gay, bisexual, or qutng; 5) have no knowledge of beg HIV posive; 6) live the Chigo or Miami metropolan area; and 7) read and unrstand English. The youth reprented the qualative subsample of adolcents who participated a larger mixed-methods rearch study foced on multiple inty velopment and sexual risk/protectn among gay/bisexual male adolcents, which was nducted wh the Adolcent Trials Network for HIV/AIDS Interventns. The ame was stratified by age (14–17, 18–20, and 21–22), level of gay/bisexual sexual orientatn inty (low and high), and race/ethnicy (Ain Amerin, European Amerin, and Lato) orr to produce a sample that reprents velopmental and inty-related variatns.

InstmentsAn terview gui was created through a group procs over the urse of three months by a group of rearchers and practners who work wh gay/bisexual male adolcents. RESULTSThe data related to youths’ nceptualizatns of beg gay/bisexual revealed two major nceptual tegori—1) posive personal nceptualizatns of beg gay/bisexual and 2) riliency the face of gay-related opprsn. (Michael, 22 year old, Whe gay male)Siar to the example on sexual flexibily, this participant utilized a strategy of ristg stereotyp specifilly associated wh genr.

HOW TO EMBRACE AGG AS A GAY MAN

(Sean, 21 year old, Eastern European gay male)Another participant who mented on nnectedns wh femal argued that the reason for this closens is the fact that straight men typilly beiend women for sexual purpos, while gay men do not. Addnally, he argued that both gay men and straight women are able to share their experienc wh male sexual/datg partners and receive advice om one youth exprsed a sense of nnectn to the gay muny. Um, 's, 's very easy to, to, when you do fd somebody that is, that is very siar to yourself, 's very easy to fd a nnectn wh them bee they've endured a lot of the same hardships that you have and, and you, and 's easy to talk, I feel like 's very easy to talk to somebody else who is gay, bee they've experienced a lot of the same thgs that I have g and velopg their inty.

(Patrick, 20 year old, Whe gay male)Riliency the Face of Gay-Related OpprsnAlthough many of the youth foced on posive nceptualizatns of beg gay/bisexual, some intified ways which they had monstrated riliency the face of opprsn. (Ben, 20 year old, Whe gay male)Here the participant acknowledg pervasive negative societal views of gay/bisexual people, but he has been able to fd self-acceptance and enjoyment beg gay. The followg youth talks about the fun he has wh his iends who are not gay/bisexual and emphasiz that a cril aspect of his relatnship wh them is that they do not “judge” him or hold negative views of gay/bisexual people.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

Emotnal self-re was discsed the ntext of acknowledgg and beg aware of the negative emotnal impact of heterosexist societal msag on them as gay/bisexual young men, and then buildg ristance strategi to such pervasive negativy. One young man discsed the potential negative nsequenc of beg openly gay around “homophobic people” and the need to be rponsible when makg cisns about sexual orientatn disclosure. Bee there's a lot of homophobic people out there (Jose, 19 year old, Hispanic queer male)Physil self-re was typilly discsed the ntext of physil appearance and sexual health, such as rryg ndoms orr to protect one om sexually transmted fectns.

This sub-theme was not directly nnected to experienc of opprsn as gay/bisexual youth, but some of the youth did note higher rat of HIV among gay/bisexual men as a motivatg factor their e of ndoms durg sexual activy. (Kev, 21 year old, Multiracial bisexual male)Gay/bisexual youth who reported the rejectn of stereotyp as another form of riliency strsed the importance of velopg a posive sense of self that is not rtricted by societal msag regardg what gay/bisexual men “should” do, thk, and feel.