Self-loathg among gay people is nothg new. We’re overwhelmed by | Matthew Todd | The Guardian

Contents:

• LIVG AUTHENTILLY THE LGBTQ COMMUNY: HOW TO MOVE PAST “GAY SHAME” [VIO]
• HOW TO OVERE FEELGS OF SHAME AROUND BEG GAY
• TOM ALLEN: THE IA OF GAY SHAME STILL PERVAS
• HOW TO GET OVER THE SHAME OF REALIZG YOU ARE GAY
• THE ROOTS OF GAY SHAME
• I THOUGHT I WAS OVER MY CATHOLIC GUILT ABOUT BEG GAY. MAYBE I WAS WRONG?
• SELF-LOATHG AMONG GAY PEOPLE IS NOTHG NEW. WE’RE OVERWHELMED BY
• OVERG THE SHAME OF BEG GAY
• GAY SHAME
• GAY SHAME: 5 WAYS GAY MEN COMPENSATE

LIVG AUTHENTILLY THE LGBTQ COMMUNY: HOW TO MOVE PAST “GAY SHAME” [VIO]

Livg Authentilly the LGBTQ Communy: How to Move Past “Gay Shame” [Transcript] For some people, gay shame may seem like a term for only queer, cisgenr men. However, gay shame n refer to any feelgs of ferry due to your sexualy/genr inty. Watch a ee webar on how to live thentilly by overg gay shame Breakg the cycle of gay shame the LGBTQ muny So how do we break the cycle of shame the LGBTQ muny?

For example, many are raised a relig hoeholds that hold beliefs like “gay people are unnatural or will go to hell. Read more about how gay men pensate for gay shame Developg a sense of LGBTQ empowerment Fdg the eedom and LGBTQ empowerment to be the te you may not be a lear journey.

Therapy may be an optn for you if you would like support overg gay shame and havg a safe space to disver your thentic self. There are many gay men who say "I'm not part of the scene" -- men who hate gay bars and, prumably, crowds of queer people general. Internalized homophobia -- self-shamg, self-hatred -- leads many gay men, and many queer people general, to recreate their closets long after they're "out" by shunng others, particularly those they nsir "flamboyant.

HOW TO OVERE FEELGS OF SHAME AROUND BEG GAY

" Y, there are some good reasons to rce your participatn gay bars (time, money, health).

But you mt spend time wh others, whether that means havg a group of gay movie iends or queer gamers or playg on a gay sports team. This parable piece by lbian wrer Sarah Prager go through the lp of great gays who changed the world -- om ventor Alan Turg to Tchaikovsky, the poser, to the Renaissance pater and ventor Leonardo da Vci. AIDS vastated muni of gay men and transgenr women, particularly gay men and trans women of lor.

TOM ALLEN: THE IA OF GAY SHAME STILL PERVAS

Read the numbers: In four years, more than 5, 596 people the Uned Stat had died of AIDS, many of them gay men and transgenr women.

But if I hadn't experienced all that adversy, I wouldn't be so furly proud to be gay.

HOW TO GET OVER THE SHAME OF REALIZG YOU ARE GAY

Fd a gay elr who's been where you are and r for your well-beg, someone who unrstands you and never pass judgment, someone who lets you make the mistak you need to make.

Tmp has repeatedly attacked transgenr servicemembers, and gay men are still beg hunted and murred Chechnya. There would be no ternalized self-hatred if no one had ever told you that beg gay is wrong, or that gay sex is disgtg, or that gay men n't feel real love, or that beg transgenr is fake, or that beg nonbary is a mental illns or a ll for attentn.

THE ROOTS OF GAY SHAME

If you thk a word like "gay" or "queer" works for you right now (aga, don't have to work for you forever -- labels do not e wh lifetime ntracts) and you're not ready to tell everyone, simply say out loud to yourself. Dpe signifint chang attus and regulatns around gay rights recent s, growg up n still be credibly tough for many gay men.

I THOUGHT I WAS OVER MY CATHOLIC GUILT ABOUT BEG GAY. MAYBE I WAS WRONG?

Unfortunately, the repeated exposur n lead to staed levels of ternalised shame (also known as gay shame).

Humans heal bt through relatnships and that clus relatnships wh rg therapists who “get” what means to be gay our society. Most people have heard of “Gay Pri” reference to the LGBTQI muny’s month of celebratn, ftivals and paras each June. Others may pot out where their relig texts directly ll homosexualy or beg transgenr a s.

Lbian, gay and bisexual people were allowed to serve the ary but uld not reveal their sexual orientatn whout riskg dishonorable discharge.

SELF-LOATHG AMONG GAY PEOPLE IS NOTHG NEW. WE’RE OVERWHELMED BY

Eher a sgle event, such as gettg asslted for beg gay or beg fired by a transphobic employer, or the long-term effects of staed strs due to discrimatn, n lead to post-trmatic strs rpons or PTSD.

Image source, Aemen SkarImage ptn, Allen says edy is a place where people n explore and celebrate their quirksAt the turn of the lennium, when edian Tom Allen was a teenager, a celebry g out as gay regularly ma headle late Boyzone sger Stephen Gately was splashed across the ont page of the Sun when he revealed he was gay 1999.

When Brian Dowlg won the send seri of Big Brother 2001, the fact he was gay was notable and groundbreakg. Society was a perd of transn at the time, wh attus towards homosexualy beg ls hostile.

OVERG THE SHAME OF BEG GAY

"Those were such seismic events 15 or 20 years ago, " says Allen, whose new memoir studi the shame he felt growg up gay. "Image ptn, Allen recently appeared on a Covid-safe edn of Mock The Week, alongsi Rhys Jam and Athena KugblenuOcsnally, a story volvg homosexualy still has the power to make the news headl today, but only when 's somethg really out of the ordary.

Equal marriage was troduced the UK 2014, and earlier this year Prime Mister Boris Johnson announced plans to outlaw gay nversn therapy were beg brought Allen not is "still tricky" for gay people to e out. And not jt about beg gay - several of his personaly tras were the subject of ridicule, such as his drs sense, mic taste and posh accent. "That programme went out on Rad 4 on Sunday afternoons the 1960s, and wasn't legal to be gay at that pot, and yet here they were talkg gay slang.

It appears to be evable that for a majory of gay women and men will wrtle wh the emotnal ache and anguish of acceptg themselv as gay. This is extremely unhappy for me to see as I perceive om hoehold and associat that beg gay is jt a part of who one is. It is ually the disgrace that retas gay and lbian om g to phras wh who they’re.

GAY SHAME

Many members of the gay group have need to velop up a world the place they have been margalized by society and tradn. Faced wh prejudice, discrimatn, and unequal rights amongst different members of society, ’s no marvel why homosexuals expertise disgrace. So maybe you’re on the stage the place you’re merely askg your self, “Am I gay?

GAY SHAME: 5 WAYS GAY MEN COMPENSATE

Self intifitn as a gay is the method of absolutely g to phras to that realy “I’m gay. Most importantly, ’s wh the abily to take a look at your self wh the mirror and say I am gay and there’s nothg fallac wh me.