How to Support Your Child When They Come Out as LGBTQ+</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="How to Support Your Child When They Come Out as LGBTQ+" /><meta name="scriptn" ntent="Even if 's unexpected, parents need to be the emotnal safe harbor when their LGBTQ+ kid out. 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" /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/goodhoekeepg/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="never" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Parentg Tips & Advice" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2022-04-12T21:42:22Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2020-12-15T16:18:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="Even though there's more visibily than ever for the LGBTQ+ muny, g out n still be difficult. If you're a parent of someone who recently me out, here's what you should know and how you n offer your average age of g out gets younger each generatn, but the" /><meta name="" ntent="life,Life,parentg,Parentg Tips & Advice" /><meta name="" ntent="2020-12-15 16:18:00" /><meta name="sailth.socialtle" ntent="When LGBTQ+ Kids Come Out, Parental Support Means Everythg" /><meta name="ntenttype" ntent="standard-article" /><meta id="m1" name="m1" emProp="cssSelector " ntent=".ntent-hed" /><meta id="m2" name="m2" emProp="cssSelector" ntent=".ntent-k p" /><lk href="/" emSpe emType=" emRef="m1 m2" /><lk rel="preload" as="image" image-src-set=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" image-siz="100vw" /><lk rel="prefetch" href="" as="image" /><lk rel="preload" as="image" image-src-set=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" image-siz="100vw" /><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="48" /><meta name="next-font-prennect" /><script id="vice-tect" data-nscript="beforeInteractive">(()=>{nst o="ontouchstart" 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pjjyzu">{posn:absolute;right:1.4rem;top:1.2rem;borr-lor:#000000;borr-style:solid;borr-width:0 0.0625rem 0.0625rem 0;paddg:0.2rem;-webk-transn:-webk-transform 0.25s ease--out;transn:transform 0.25s ease--out;cursor:poter;background-lor:transparent;lor:#fff;}.submenu-open {-webk-transform:rotate(45g);-moz-transform:rotate(45g);-ms-transform:rotate(45g);transform:rotate(45g);}.submenu-closed {-webk-transform:rotate(-45g);-moz-transform:rotate(-45g);-ms-transform:rotate(-45g);transform:rotate(-45g);}</style><button role="button" tabInx="0" aria-expand="false" class="css-pjjyzu eqt11jm7"></button><style data-emotn="css 1knzpdr animatn-1dfsy">{posn:relative;list-style:none;marg:0rem;paddg:0rem;max-height:0rem;-webk-transn:max-height 0.3s cubic-bezier(0, 1, 0, 1),opacy 0.2s lear 0.15s,marg 0.3s lear;transn:max-height 0.3s cubic-bezier(0, 1, 0, 1),opacy 0.2s lear 0.15s,marg 0.3s lear;height:unset;overflow:hidn;opacy:0;visibily:hidn;-webk-animatn:1s animatn-1dfsy;animatn:1s animatn-1dfsy;-webk-animatn-fill-mo:forwards;animatn-fill-mo:forwards;width:lc(100% + 2rem);marg-left:-1rem;background-lor:#f9b9b6;lor:#000000;}.submenu-open {max-height:27rem;overflow-y:scroll;height:to;opacy:1;visibily:visible;marg-top:0.75rem;}.submenu-closed {max-height:0rem;}@-webk-keyam animatn-1dfsy{99%{visibily:hidn;display:none;}100%{visibily:visible;display:block;}}@keyam animatn-1dfsy{99%{visibily:hidn;display:none;}100%{visibily:visible;display:block;}}</style><ul class="css-1knzpdr eqt11jm10"><style data-emotn="css eqhohi">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;cursor:poter;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;height:2.5rem;paddg:0 1rem;} {-webk-transn:background-lor 0.2s lear;transn:background-lor 0.2s lear;} {background-lor:#f6e5;lor:#000;} a{opacy:0.8;}{background-lor:#f9b9b6;lor:#ffffff;}</style><li class="nav-em css-eqhohi eqt11jm8"><a href="/applianc/" class="css-cv3h5u 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73.75rem){{font-size:3.25rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-rdayf9 exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>How to Support Your LGBTQ+ Kid When He, She or They Come Out<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 14lpaao">{font-fay:Archer,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.3;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-14lpaao exadjwu8"><p>Even if 's unexpected, parents need to be the emotnal safe harbor. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 1hf6p7y">{lor:#323232;font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;paddg-top:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 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48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><span class="css-m6whui ehvvd9m1"><style data-emotn="css 1sa04t">{borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;marg-right:0.3125rem;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Lrie Yarnell" tle="Headshot of Lrie Yarnell" width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/225962/lrie-yarnell/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Lrie Yarnell</a></span><style data-emotn="css 1eppnb8">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;lor:#595959;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-1eppnb8 exadjwu6">Published: Dec 15, 2020</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css 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48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><span class="css-19eokd0 e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css z6i669">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Even though there's more visibily than ever for the LGBTQ+ muny, g out n still be difficult. If you're a parent of someone who recently me out, here's what you should know and how you n offer your support.</p><style data-emotn="css 1y767x5">{font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;marg-bottom:1rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.1875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="1" class="body-h2 css-1y767x5 et3p2gv0"><strong>The average age of g out gets younger each generatn</strong><strong>, but the LGBTQ+ muny still experienc discrimatn.</strong></h2><p data-no-id="2" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Rearch suggts that children and young adults are g out <style data-emotn="css 1me6ynq">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#125C68;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#125C68;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:#595959;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="at younger ag" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">at younger ag</a> and <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn=" greater numbers" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0"> greater numbers</a> than earlier generatns. Acrdg to a 2013 Pew Rearch Study, the median age LGBTQ+ people reported g out to others is <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="20 years old" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">20 years old</a>. Individuals who are transgenr (those whose genr inty is different om the genr they were assigned at birth) and non-bary (those whose genr inty isn’t exclively male or female) reported g out at <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="an average of 18.5 years old" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">an average of 18.5 years old</a>, acrdg to the Amerin Amy of Pediatrics. </p><p data-no-id="3" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">“Our culture is openg up a ltle b certa areas so children feel safer g out earlier,” says Lda K. Reev, LMFT, a licensed marriage and fay therapist and <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="World Profsnal Associatn for Transgenr Health" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">World Profsnal Associatn for Transgenr Health</a> (WPATH) Certified Genr Specialist. Reev also -found a California chapter of <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="PFLAG" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">PFLAG</a> (formerly known as, “Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays”), an anizatn wh 200,000 members natnwi. </p><div data-no-id="4" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css llfhfh">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:th solid #CDCDCD;borr-width:0.0625rem 0 0;}</style><div class="css-llfhfh e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1ocka91">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0.625rem;}</style><div class="css-1ocka91 e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css 1u752e8">{marg:0rem;font-weight:normal;font-fay:Archer,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-1u752e8 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Good Hoekeepg</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css 8ivsrn">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg:0rem;m-height:2.4rem;paddg:0.625rem 0;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><h6 class="css-8ivsrn e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css 1iiivv4">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

children coming out as gay

Which different feelgs and reactns do different fay members show if an adult fay member who has long been perceived as heterosexual disclos their sexual inty as lbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB)? Prev studi have vtigated reactns of spo and sometim children the Uned Stat. This article scrib the fdgs of qualative terviews and a German-language quantative survey (N = 188) which fay members were asked about their emotns, experienc durg the g out procs, and their e of support optns. The sampl were reced via different LGB+ onle foms and anizatns Germany, Atria, and Swzerland (age M = 44.08). The rults monstrate that a g out after years of a heterosexual bgraphy and fay life affects adults’ parents and siblgs addn to spo and children. Siblgs were perceived as a supportive group of fay members showg lm and mostly posive reactns. Parents maly reported surprise but also showed on the one hand tert supportg their children the g out procs; on the other hand, we fd also evince for negative reactns cludg rejectg behavr. Children’s pg and well-beg pend on the time that had passed sce the g out and their age at the time of the g out. Spo felt shocked, angry, and the ground was pulled om unr their feet. Comparg the perspectiv of the groups of fay members, differenc between them, ...

Contents:

JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU

Kev Maxen, an associate strength ach wh the Jacksonville Jaguars, has bee the first male ach a major U.S.-based profsnal league to e out as gay. * children coming out as gay *

Many of the straight parents I terviewed for When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know exprsed havg felt disappotment learng that their child was LGBT.

Richard told me, "Perhaps if every parent toyed wh the possibily that any of their children uld be gay, would change the way they raise their children. Gay children are no different—so ltle of their sexual orientatn has to do wh who they are as a whole. "It is rare to work wh parents of a gay child who have not stggled wh the feelg of loss at some pot the procs of acceptg their child as gay, " my -thor, Jonathan Tobk, M.

Parents feel sad that their gay child has lost the possibily of havg a life whout signifint difficulty. " Yet Tobk has found that "gay people tell you they are happy wh who they are and feel that they have emerged on the other si of g out as strong, sensive, and rilient dividuals. I kept wag for the moment where I would realize I was no longer gay so I uld put a halt to everythg.

I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY

I was nsumed by the p my stomach – the shame of endg my marriage bee I was gay was like luggg a sandbag over my shoulrs and havg a rock my stomach at the same time.

I wasn’t sure how to tell my nservative, Geia-born and bred parents that their former pageant queen dghter was endg her marriage bee she is gay. I wasn’t brave enough to actually say the words – the label of beg gay or a lbian was too much for my soul to bear at the time – so I sent her a text msage, “I am not straight. Democratic printial ndidate Pete Buttigieg – who, like me, is his late 30s and, like me, me out publicly jt a few years ago – put this way: “It’s hard to face the tth that there were tim my life when, if you had shown me exactly what was si me that ma me gay, I would have cut out wh a knife.

NAVIGATG ONE SON'S G OUT N BE A BIG AL. FOR PARENTS WH SEVERAL GAY CHILDREN, N BE OVERWHELMG

Reev also -found a California chapter of PFLAG (formerly known as, “Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays”), an anizatn wh 200, 000 members natnwi. ” The ial rponse offered by Jumel Howard, 25, who me out as gay at 13, go a step further: “No matter what, you are still my child and I am always gog to love you. Consir gettg volved and makg a donatn to GLSEN (an tnal anizatn workg to end discrimatn and promote cln for LBTQ+ stunts K-12), GLAAD (an LGBTQ+ media advocy formerly known as the “Gay & Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn”) or the Human Rights Campaign (the largt LGBTQ+ advocy and polil lobbyg anizatn the untry).

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* CHILDREN COMING OUT AS GAY

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