THE CASE AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE – Catholic League

against gay marriage pictures

Supporters of gay marriage easily outnumbered opponents, who were drowned out by shouts of "Love Mt W!" and "Marriage Now!"

Contents:

2,692 ANTI GAY MARRIAGE STOCK PHOTOS & HIGH-R PICTUR

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It’s been a way for to both signal to thori that we have polil power and agency, but also for gay, lbian, and transgenr people to see that they are a have the protts changed over the years?

It’s important to realize that beg gay or lbian was a crime the Uned Stat up to 2003, and was also thought of as a mental illns that [people] uld be stutnalized and subjected to electroshock treatment for. So for the people to publicly make a statement that they were gay or lbian was this enormo risk for them — they uld have lost of the statement that was beg ma the early march was the refal to be an visible mory.

WASHINGTON (RNS) From siwalk preachers totg megaphon to anti-gay zealots warng of the stctn of Ameri to gay and lbian upl proudly wavg gay-pri rabow flags, the scene on Tuday outsi the U. The multiln-dollar war cht has bolstered a movement that jt a few years ago appeared to be losg ground Ameri’s slong culture war around lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr and queer rights. “Many of those, while not specifilly tied to a church, are rooted the nservative Christian, biblil sense of human sexualy, ” said Stt McCoy, the terim puty legal director for LGBTQ rights and special ligatn for the SPLC and the SPLC Actn Fund, the group’s polil actn simply holdg a relig belief that views homosexualy or transgenr inty as sful do not tomatilly land a church or an anizatn on the SPLC’s list of hate groups.

PHOTOS: GAY MARRIAGE SUPPORTERS AND OPPONENTS ON SUPREME COURT STEPS

"For the people to publicly make a statement that they were gay or lbian was this enormo risk for them — they uld have lost everythg." * against gay marriage pictures *

'The hard re of the anti-gay movement' When the SPLC began trackg anti-LGBTQ hate the early 2010s, the anizatn noted that “a small terie of groups now prise the hard re of the anti-gay movement. “The groups that are opposed to LGBTQ equaly did their msage ttg and found that attackg gay people is no longer the broadly popular culture war totem that they ed the ’90s, ” Gberg said. Even as some well-known anti-gay groups like Foc on the Fay morate their views, a hard re of smaller groups, most of them religly motivated, have ntued to pump out monizg propaganda aimed at homosexuals and other sexual mori.

GROUPS OPPOSED TO GAY RIGHTS RAKE LNS AS STAT BATE ANTI-LGBTQ BILLS

* against gay marriage pictures *

The groups’ fluence reach far beyond what their size would suggt, bee the “facts” they dissemate about homosexualy are often amplified by certa policians, other groups and even news anizatns. The book mak a seri of claims that virtually no ser historian agre wh: that Hler was gay, that “the Nazi Party was entirely ntrolled by aristic homosexuals, ” and that gays were pecially selected for the SS bee of their nate btaly.

18 ANTI-GAY GROUPS AND THEIR PROPAGANDA

In today’s heightened culture war, the ffers of the anti-gay movement are overflowg. * against gay marriage pictures *

Takg a page om the anti-gay fabulist Stt Lively (see Abidg Tth Mistri, above), Fischer claimed a blog post last May 27 that “[h]omosexualy gave Adolph Hler, and homosexuals the ary gave the Brown Shirts, the Nazi war mache and 6 ln ad Jews. In a 2010 “actn alert, ” the AFA warned that if homosexuals are allowed to openly serve the ary, “your son or dghter may be forced to share ary showers and barracks wh active and open homosexuals. Amerins for Tth About Homosexualy (AFTAH) was formed as a part-time venture 1996 by long-time gay-basher Peter LaBarbera, who reanized 2006 as a much more ser and fluential, if often vic, operatn.

A one-time reporter for the nservative Washgton Tim, LaBarbera has been an energetic mpaigner agast “the radil homosexual agenda” sce at least 1993, when he lnched The Lambda Report, which claimed to do first-hand reportg to expose s gay enemi. AFTAH is notable for s postg of the utterly discreded work of Pl Cameron (of the Fay Rearch Instute; see below), who has claimed that gays and lbians live vastly shorter liv than heterosexuals.

The same year, he posted an open letter to the Lhuanian people om long-time gay-basher Stt Lively (see Abidg Tth Mistri, above), who has ma a seri of false claims about gays nng the German Nazi Party.

THE PEOPLE WHO OPPOSE THE GAY MARRIAGE LAW

A small terie of groups now prise the hard re of the anti-gay movement * against gay marriage pictures *

The AFTAH se repeats bog claims like the ia that a proposed bill California would “promote cross-drsg, sex-change operatns, bisexualy and homosexualy” to krgartners and other children. DeMar has modified that dictum slightly the past, sayg that homosexuals wouldn’t all be executed unr a “renstcted” ernment, but that he did believe that the ocsnal executn of “sodom” would serve society well bee “the law that requir the ath penalty for homosexual acts effectively driv the perversn of homosexualy unrground, back to the closet.

I’M GAY AND I’M AGAST GAY MARRIAGE

In most public discsns, the issue of same-sex marriage is posed as a simple qutn – for or agast? – where to be for or agast is to be, more or ls, for or agast gay people. Although don’t… * against gay marriage pictures *

It has lled the ia of allowg gays to serve openly the ary “evil”; opposed hate crim legislatn (which many relig-right groups falsely assert would make easy to send pastors to prison for nmng homosexualy); and raged agast a judge’s overturng of California’s Proposn 8, which had validated same-sex marriag. Wh regard to that last, said: “Homosexuals have turned away om humbly worshippg the te and livg God and his transcennt moral orr orr to make an idol out of their sexual perversn and chaos. Although is somewhat benign by parison, the CADC has an advisory board that clus some of the untry’s most hard-le anti-gay activists: Lou Sheldon, head of the Tradnal Valu Coaln (see below); Donald Wildmon, the founr of the Amerin Fay Associatn (above); and O’Neal Dozier, a pastor who wrote his 2008 book that “[h]omosexualy not only spreads disease and ntraliz God’s mand, ” but also “stroys fai.

In 2001, she hired proment anti-gay propagandists Robert Knight (now wh Coral Ridge Mistri; see below) and Peter LaBarbera (now wh Amerins for Tth About Homosexualy, above) to lnch CWA’s Culture and Fay Instute. While at CWA, on April 12, 2007, Barber suggted agast all the evince that there were only a “miscule number” of anti-gay hate crim and most of those “may very well be rooted dulent reports.

THE TOP 10 ARGUMENTS AGAST GAY MARRIAGE: ALL RECEIVE FAILG GRAS!

Sarah Green said on the "One Year" podst that her grandmother believ beg gay is wrong. As she plans her weddg, she bat vg her. * against gay marriage pictures *

CWA long relied on and displayed Knight’s articl and talkg pots, cludg claims that “homosexualy rri enormo physil and mental health risks” and “gay marriage entic children to experiment wh homosexualy. Print Wendy Wright said this Augt that gay activists were g same-sex marriage “to doctrate children schools to reject their parents’ valu and to harass, sue and punish people who disagree. ” Last year, CWA acced the Gay, Lbian, and Straight Edutn Network (GLSEN), a group that works to stop anti-gay bullyg schools, of g that missn as a ver to promote homosexualy schools, addg that “teachg stunts om a young age that the homosexual liftyle is perfectly natural … will [e them to] velop to adults who are sensized to the harmful, immoral realy of sexual viance.

In one recent say on the CRM webse, he argued agast allowg homosexuals to serve openly the ary, sayg that “Bible-believg Christians would quickly fd themselv unwele Barney Frank’s new pansexual, cross-drsg ary. In 2002, before jog CRM, Knight wrote that gay marriage “entic children to experiment wh homosexualy” and that acceptg homosexualy leads to “a loss of stabily muni, wh a rise crime, sexually transmted diseas and other social pathologi. Much of his venom was aimed at homosexuals, who he suggts should be killed (“The biggt hypocre the world is the person who believ the ath penalty for murrers but not for homosexuals”).

THE CASE AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE

This weekend, the gay son of Rep. Glenn Thompson, R-Pa., got married. A few days earlier, his father voted agast the Defense of Marriage Act. * against gay marriage pictures *

Both Dailey and Sprigg have phed false accatns lkg gay men to pedophilia: Sprigg has wrten that most men who engage same-sex child moltatn “intify themselv as homosexual or bisexual, ” and Dailey and Sprigg voted an entire chapter of their 2004 book Gettg It Straight to siar material.

In a 1999 publitn (Homosexual Behavr and Pedophilia) that has sce disappeared om s webse, the FRC claimed that “one of the primary goals of the homosexual rights movement is to abolish all age of nsent laws and to eventually regnize pedophil as the ‘prophets’ of a new sexual orr, ” acrdg to unrefuted rearch by AMERICAblog. 30, 2010, bate on MSNBC’s “Hardball wh Chris Matthews” between Perks and the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Mark Potok, Perks fend FRC’s associatn of gay men wh pedophilia, sayg: “If you look at the Amerin College of Pediatricians, they say the rearch is overwhelmg that homosexualy pos a danger to children. ” AMERICAblog also reported that then-FRC official Yvette Cantu, an terview published on Amerins for Tth About Homosexualy’s webse, said, “If they [gays and lbians] had children, what would happen when they were too by havg their sex parti?

More recently, March 2008, Sprigg, rpondg to a qutn about ung gay partners durg the immigratn procs, said: “I would much prefer to export homosexuals om the Uned Stat than to import them. Started 1987 by psychologist Pl Cameron, the Fay Rearch Instute (FRI) has bee the anti-gay movement’s ma source for what Cameron claims is “cuttg-edge rearch” — but is, fact, pletely discreded junk science phed out by a man who has been nmned by three profsnal anizatns.

THE GRANDDGHTER OF A NOTOR ANTI-GAY RIGHTS ACTIVIST IS MARRYG A WOMAN — AND SHE'S NOT SURE WHETHER TO VE HER GRANDMOTHER TO THE WEDDG

Over nearly three s, Cameron has published “rearch studi” (though almost never peer-reviewed journals) that suggt that homosexuals are predatory and diseased perverts who victimize children. ” In yet another, he wrote, “Homosexuals were three tim more likely to adm to havg ma an obscene phone ll” and “a third more apt to report a traffic ticket or traffic accint the past 5 years. In 1985, the Amerin Soclogil Associatn adopted a rolutn sayg Cameron “has nsistently misterpreted and misreprented soclogil rearch on sexualy” and “repeatedly mpaigned for the abrogatn of the civil rights of lbians and gay men”; the followg year, the same group formally nmned Cameron for that misreprentatn of rearch.

) Gazette that he believed homosexualy should be crimalized Ameri and that he was fe wh a proposed bill Uganda that would punish some gay sexual acts wh ath (“Whatever they ci, I’m OK wh”).

They clu the Amerin Fay Associatn, Amerins for Tth About Homosexualy, Concerned Women for Ameri, Coral Ridge Mistri, the Fay Rearch Council (see above for all five) and, until recently, the Illois Fay Instute (see below). It says that gays should apologize “for all the STDs [sexually transmted diseas] they’ve spread, and all the money those STDs have st, and pecially for settg bad moral exampl for our children.

GOP LAWMAKER ATTEND GAY SON'S WEDDG 3 DAYS AFTER VOTG AGAST SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

In 2006, then-Executive Director Peter LaBarbera (see Amerins for Tth About Homosexualy, above), told a relig-right gatherg hosted by Visn Ameri that homosexualy was "disgtg" and mand the closg down of all "homosexual tablishments.

LATVIA BE 7TH NATN TO BE LED BY AN OPENLY GAY HEAD OF STATE

" He lled for the repeal of all "sexual orientatn laws" — laws that ban discrimatn agast gays — and spoke of the "need to fd ways to brg back shame to those practicg homosexual behavr. ” The rponse of Lrie Higgs, IFI’s belligerent director of school advocy, was that Daly was showg “surprisg naïveté, ” g the same language as pro-gay “homosexualists, ” and failg to nont “the pro-homosexual juggernt. In 2009, Higgs pared homosexualy to Nazism, likeng the German Evangelil Church’s weak rponse to fascism to the “Amerin church’s failure to rpond appropriately to the spread of radil, heretil, stctive views of homosexualy.

Matt Barber, formerly wh Concerned Women for Ameri and Amerins for Tth About Homosexualy (see above for both), joed Liberty Counsel as director of cultural affairs (also beg Liberty Universy’s associate an for reer and profsnal velopment). A year earlier, Barber had argued that given “medil evince about the dangers of homosexualy, ” should be nsired “crimally reckls for tors to teach children that homosexual nduct is a normal, safe and perfectly acceptable alternative. Like other anti-gay groups, Liberty Counsel argu that hate crime laws are “actually ‘thought crim’ laws that vlate the right to eedom and of nscience” — an opn rejected by the Supreme Court.

Sce 2006, Liberty Counsel has also n s “Change is Possible” mpaign wh Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays to protect people who say they’ve changed om gay to straight om “discrimatn” by “tolerant homosexuals. ” Later, MassRistance charged that groups like the Gay, Lbian and Straight Edutn Network (GLSEN), which support school anti-bullyg programs, actually want to lure children to homosexualy and, very possibly, sadomasochism.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE PICTURES

I’m Gay and I’m Agast Gay Marriage - The Doe</tle><meta name="article:published_time" ntent="2020-07-24T06:00:00+0000"/><meta name="thor" ntent="Barrie Cradshaw"/><meta name="scriptn" ntent="The se for wedlock not beg all ’s cracked up to be, for queer and straight people alike."/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="The se for wedlock not beg all ’s cracked up to be, for queer and straight people alike."/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="og:image:alt" ntent="Two men gettg married"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="I’m Gay and I’m Agast Gay Marriage"/><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@TheDoe"/><meta name="twter:scriptn" ntent="The se for wedlock not beg all ’s cracked up to be, for queer and straight people alike."/><meta name="twter:imageUrl" ntent="><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"Article","maEntyOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"},"headle":"I’m Gay and I’m Agast Gay Marriage","datePublished":"2020-07-24T06:00:00+0000","dateModified":"2020-07-24T06:00:00+0000","thor":{"@type":"Person","name":"Barrie Cradshaw"},"publisher":{"@type":"Organizatn","name":"The Doe","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"}},"image":[",",",","],"articleBody":"I was workg om home on a weekday afternoon when a iend dropped round the hop I'd be able to enterta her, spe the work pilg up on my sk and the unanswered emails screamg my box. We sat down the livg room, where I curled my legs unrneath me and watched her warm her hands on the cup of ffee I’d jt ma her. As I half-listened to the stream of mundane rmatn g out of her, I ma a to-do list my head: reply to Cathy, make not for tomorrow’s meetg, read that stunt’s draft. By the time I returned to what she was sayg, she was discsg marriage. Someone she worked wh had recently end their 14-year marriage after an affair. It was msy: hurt egos, kids ught the middle and a risg fancial st. “I’ll never get married,” I said, whout a thought. My iend blew on her still-too-hot ffee, a remr of how slowly time was passg. “Never say never,” she said, her voice oddly sual as she dismissed me wh three simple words. “You never know where you’ll be a few years.” She seemed ignorant that she had jt outled one of the most quoted arguments agast marriage: divorce.\r\nNot Everyone Dreams About Their Weddg Day\r\nThe thg is, I did know. I hadn't been raised to thk of marriage as aspiratnal. Instead, I was raised by a sgle father who disuraged relatnships of any kd. He built up a small world, one that was imperable to outsirs. We saw our extend fay once a year, he never dated and he disuraged the pursu of romance over tn. Once, when I was eight years old and still unsure of my sexualy, I asked when I should have my first girliend. “In your twenti,” he said, “when you’re done wh school.” Through watchg him, I had learned the value of pennce and a particular type of workg-class emotnal reprsn that was hard to shake. I was never que fortable when someone else paid for dner. I had also grown up queer, qutng my sexualy and genr inty thlsly. For the first twenty-one years of my life, marriage wasn’t an optn that was actually available to me. There were civil partnerships, but their perceived stat, both culturally and polilly, was send-class to marriage. So while my straight peers dreamed of whe drs and quat untrysi church, I checked out. I thought about sex and exploratn. I thought about my future, about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I thought aimlsns and the fact that I floated between potential profsns, unable to moor myself to anyone, was the biggt issue facg me. Marriage was never even part of my plan. Now, my late twenti, marriage is an ever-prent specter. Morngs go by scrollg on Instagram, which is often filled wh the lite fgers of young women adorned wh diamonds that uld sk a ship. The women, who are often burned wh makg the announcement, ptn their photos “I Said Y,” alongsi an engagement rg emoji. Then there are photos of bridal ftgs, weddg fairs, pk champagne, hen nights, stag parti and nuptial statns, before the eventual walk down the aisle. What I began to notice more and more, though, were the LGBTQ+ people engagg this type of behavr and the way that type of ntent often went viral. On Twter, I saw a vio of two women at Disneyland. One pulled out a rg and got down on her kne. The other screamed and pulled a rg om her cksack too. I read Tr bs of men lookg for “hband material.” I saw women tux ont of the altar and men posg outsi church a shower of rice. The posts, and the way they spread across the ter, spoke to jt how much the culture at large wants to see queer people married. For the better part of a , gay marriage was the rallyg cry for the queer liberatn movement: The theory held that this major legal tone would burst the dam and give way to a flood of total equaly. Then, when fally happened var plac across the world, this hard-fought-for pary felt anticlimactic. If anythg, created another stick wh which to bash nonnformists while fuelg the already tense rpectabily polics wh the LGBTQ+ muny. Much like send-wave femism, the queer liberatn movement was now keenly aware of what “type” of queer bt-served progrs. Was the hypersexualized gay that uld be spun by right-wg punds as perverted and predatory? Or was the sweet nocent gay dreamg of one day gettg hched?\r\nI Don’t Thk Gay People Should Get Married (or Straight People)\r\nA month or two after that nversatn, I met up wh another iend for a walk. The heat was opprsive, and my back dampened wh sweat wh each step I took. As we ught up, I listened to her lay out her life to me—work, fay, prsur and assorted strs—until we got onto the topic of her boyiend. She was a long-distance relatnship and stgglg wh isolatn. The post-universy shift, where everyone eher go home to renfigure, transplants themselv to the pal or follows a job offer, had left the two of them hundreds of apart. The qutn was not only how they would navigate their current posn—g FaceTime, Skype and expensive tra journeys—but also their future stat. Where would they settle down? My iend suggted that movg together would most certaly lead to marriage, and she had cid she was fortable wh that. She saw for herself and always had. She'd attend a Catholic school, after all. “What about you?” she asked. “What about me?” “Do you thk you’ll get married?” \"I don't thk gay people should get married,\" I said a tone harsher than I tend. \"At least, the polil sense.\" She looked at me, puzzled. “Surely, you’re jokg?” she said. Marriage was the abstract for me. I had no long-distance boyiend and so, annoyed that I had to nsir my cisn relatn to hers, I beme oddly fensive. “I’m jt not sure we’ve thought through,” I said. “It feels like all the gay people are shg to get married, and what is marriage but a heterosexual ncept, one that is built on a history of female opprsn and patriarchal ntrol? How n gay people f wh a stcture that wasn’t built to clu them whout promisg?” She was still silent. Over the past few months, I had been readg and rmg myself about the polics of gay marriage. I was marchg towards 27, and I realized that I would have to heavily fend my cisn not to marry for the next few years. I'm the last sgle adult the fay; th, I need the ammunn. It seemed that most people st me as a bter queer who was turng down somethg I had not yet been offered. As if, when the offer did e along, I would be grateful that someone had e to rcue me om the stew of rentment and lonels I was broilg . They arrogantly assumed their heteronormative predictns would prove uful and I would eventually succumb to their way of thkg. It didn’t seem to occur to them that my disavowal of marriage didn’t mean I would live my life alone. It didn’t mean I uldn’t be wh someone for a long time, or that we uldn't draw up legal ntracts regardg -owned property or how we would spl up assets if we broke up. To them, the choice was eher marriage or life as a spster. My iend took a ep breath and cid she wanted to move on. But I wasn’t done. “I mean, don’t you thk ’s fucked up?” I went on. “Queer people spend their adolcence beg treated like sh, lled nam, beaten up, and then when they get olr, they’re so nsc of what the straight majory thks. So what? They get married as if to say, ‘I’m jt like you, please stop hatg me.’ It’s super weird. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I give no weight to nservative objectns to . Fuck them. But, I don’t know, I thk ’s more plex than people realize.” “Isn’t marriage about love?” she asked, absently, hopg this brief terlu to radil social polics was g to an end. I didn’t know if was worth enterg to the bate around marriag as transactnal and the ia of “love” beg ed as an stutnal sellg pot. So we walked on.\r\nQueer People Can’t Be Expected to Fix a Straight Instutn\r\nFor a long time, there has been a femist argument agast marriage, and now there is a queer one too. In her book Trick Mirror, Jia Tolento poss that there is room to change the genred implitns of marriage bee, the wake of Obergefell v. Hodg, same-sex marriage, “renfigured as an stutn that uld be entered to on genr-equal terms.” Relyg on queers to revalize a heterosexual stutn, rather than allowg them to create their own, is problematic. We're not gog to e and Queer Eye an outdated tradn by puttg a shy metallic bomber jacket and teachg to love self. That is not the path to queer liberatn. The view that LGBTQ+ people and straight people are now equal Wtern society is a blurry illn. We’re now allowed to engage tradnally straight activi such as marriage or raisg children, and while the are sential legal rights, they aren't precisely equaly. They merely equate to assiatn, or the right to be treated fairly if you nform to the stctur already place. This means that LGBTQ+ people who don’t wish to enter to marriag—pecially those who might be non-monogamo or “unnventnal” romantic arrangements—are judged differently and not offered the same social stat who follow straight tradns. It is no mistake that marriage offers certa legal and social advantag that no other agreement n. In that way, marriage is centivized to gays and straights alike who seek legal secury for their children, healthre benefs and surance payouts. But, I believe this speaks to how we should offer alternativ—a straight female iend of me recently talked to me about how she would much rather have a civil partnership. “All the benefs whout the patriarchal history,” she lled . I am cled to agree. The queer femist wrer Audre Lor wrote that when tryg to build the visn of your future wh the nf of a racist patriarchy, \"Only the most narrow perimeters of change are possible and allowable.\" But how do that affect queer people? Have we, as queer people, given up any hope of formg our own l now that we have the right to abi by someone else's?\r\nThe Pater Problem\r\nIn the summer of 2018, I dated a pater for two months. At no pot did we talk about marriage (why would we?), but that didn't stop the ia om perlatg amongst my iends. He was, on paper, a perfect match for me. He was Amerin, an artist, chilled-out enough to balance my nros and ocsnally even thoughtful. To others, seemed that I'd found my match—and that was . I had done what every sgle person was supposed to do: I found a potential end to my sgledom. Though, as the weeks passed by, beme creasgly clear that I was unnerved by the prospect of monogamy and the ia of lifelong mment. Even the hypothetil, marriage was terrifyg. It felt like I wasn’t jt talkg about the pater as he was, but also as he would be. Would his stterbraed nature prove annoyg the future? Would I eventually fd the weed smokg tirome? Would we be happy together, forever, a three-bedroom, semi-tached the suburbs? I felt like I was havg a pre-approved future forced upon me—a quasi-heterosexual life that felt like would close on me wh s mortgag, baby cloth and shared cemetery plots. Could I spend the rt of my life wh the pater? Doubtful. Was possible to know that after two months? No. So, why then was I gog sane over lifelong patibily? I was nsirg his potential through the lens of heteronormativy, subnscly asssg our whatevership by heterosexual standards. Then, when end, felt more like a failure than the two-month romp that was. Would have felt that way if the prsure of marriage or longevy weren’t so prevalent? My disda for marriage is born om a nfluence of reasons, some personal and some polil. Mostly, however, down to the fact I’m not ma for , and was not ma for me. Yet, I am expected to want . The ia of mak me anx. (While wrg this say, my right ankle broke out a strs rash.) But also mak me angry: angry about a lack of unrstandg om heterosexuals who ntually promote marriage as the pnacle, and mad that ’s me who’s expected to alter my perceptn, rather than them. Instead of dog their part dismantlg the heteronormative patriarchy and the systems of opprsn, they ask that I, as a queer person, enter to their stutn and try to galvanize —to make ol aga as if were a '90s tracksu or Polaroid mera. That day when my iend rang my doorbell as I was tryg to work, I realized how ltle sense the whole thg mak. My iend was mourng the ath of a marriage bee we see marriage as succs and divorce as a failure. What if, as queer people, we were able to opt out of that, and create our own systems of succs and failure as we see f? What if you happily spend 20 years of your life wh someone and then break up? Is that failure? What if were normal for people to spl and move on when thgs beme a ltle stale or were able to spread their wgs sexually whout the curta-twchg neighbors gettg cur? What if were normal not to expect all thgs om one person, if society were set up to value close iendships and nurture them alongsi romantic on? Why not let queer people figure out that new visn? Let make our own l and not bend to someone else's. When she fished her ffee, she stood up and ma to leave. I followed her out to the hallway and slked around her to open the door. She stood still for a moment, lookg out onto the street. I wonred what she was thkg. She turned me to, hugged me briefly and head off to the afternoon. I sat back down at my sk, opened my box, and got back to work, but I uldn’t shake what she’d said. Never, I thought fiantly. Never, never, never. 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