Your Child Jt Told You He's Gay. Now What? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
• OUR SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON TOLD HE WAS GAY
• MY SON THKS HE’S GAY
• I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY
• MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY
• IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?
• IS MY SON GAY?
• MY SON IS GAY
• HOW DO I DISCS BEG GAY WH MY 8-YEAR-OLD?

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns. As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child.

Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.

THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero. The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life.

Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG). List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children.

Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn).

THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc.

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay. Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child. Fortunate Fai: Catholic fai wh lbian dghters and gay sons.

Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Fai Negotiate Comg Out. “I’m gay. I have had gay iends (and been eply hurt and disappoted when beme obv.

OUR SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON TOLD HE WAS GAY

He never wanted to be gay.

To iends of me who may have gay children, or be gay themselv, please five me for my ignorance. I don’t know if I’ll ever be “okay” wh the gay liftyle, but right now, I am okay wh my son beg gay, and right now, that is all that matters.

MY SON THKS HE’S GAY

What would you do if your child told you they were gay? If you’d like to jo the Fom, drop a le at do feel like to fd out that your son is gay? So my 19-year-old son told me he is gay last night.

He don’t “act gay, ” but ’s not a huge leap to image him beg still put me to shock. ”“Don’t get stuck on thkg about the mechanics of gay sex.

I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY

Bee I’m obvly the person who is gog to have trouble unrstandg that he’s gay. For straight parents, havg a child reveal that he is gay n be a jolt. You might ask how long he or she has known, and why he feels he is gay, bi, or trans, suggts Jonathan Tobk, M.

D., a psychiatrist private practice New York Cy and the -thor of When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need to Know.

You n fd one through the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists.

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

Take the extra step and show your child that you are terted beg the parent of a gay child. Edute yourself on what means to be gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr. PFLAG, or Parents for Lbians and Gays, which now has a group for transgenr youth, and holds natnwi chapters and meetgs;.

They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do. "For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead. "The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement.

He took a be of chicken and announced, his matter-of-fact way, “I hope you know I’m gay. In a flood of words, he told me he wanted to tell his iends that he was gay— felt like he was keepg a secret om them, and when he thought about too much, ma him feel heart ached, and I wished I uld rewd to the time when kiss and cuddl fixed absolutely everythg. ” to “Who are you gay wh?

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY

So when another stunt said somethg to him like, “Well, at least I’m not gay!

Rather than emphasizg whether or not to try to cut off his terchange — there is, after all, nothg wrong wh beg gay — a more important, longer-term qutn would be, “How n I help him improve his social skills? This strategy would hopefully provi a long-term solutn, whether or not he ntu to intify as gay. Qutn: TWO months ago my son Gav, 29, announced that he is gay.

He me home one weekend to expla to me and my hband that he has been livg wh his partner for three months and has known he was gay sce he was 17. UPSET: Mary n't e to terms wh the fact that her son is gay / pic posed by molsI was vastated and me as a shock bee Gav has the past brought girliends home to meet . Mary, 57, SheffieldAnswer:DEBORAH SAYS:How do you e to terms wh the news your son is gay?

IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?

You have to let them parents fd hard to accept their child is gay. Perhaps is ls difficult than once was bee there is ls secrecy and ls opprobrium surroundg homosexualy but is still hard bee upsets all your expectatns about your mt have been very difficult for Gav to e home and tell you this. Of urse you wouldn’ you n’t “e to terms” wh homosexualy you n’t e to terms wh him.

Dave, I have a 17-year-old son, and I am fairly sure he is gay. I psed on our lol PBS affiliate, where a huge choir was sgg, and after a few sends I realized was the Gay Men's Chos of some cy or another dog a fundraisg ncert. At this time my life, I was 99 percent certa I was gay, though nowhere near ready to sprg on my parents.

We had no gay people our liv back then, no way to gge my fay's level of tolerance. We had no gay people our liv back then, no way to gge my fay's level of watched as they livered a rendn of what I remember as "Somewhere Over the Rabow, " bee eher they or my memory are unfivably basic.

IS MY SON GAY?

Stirrg and brave and subversive, g as did a time before marriage equaly was on the map, a time when you only saw gay people on the news. Good on you for not pot-blank askg your son whether he's gay. It means one simple, pable thg: Once you have told your dad you're gay, there is no gog back.

Right now, he has to be secretive, not bee he's gay, but bee he's 17. I'd love to say that you should do a big, showy "Hey, I sure do like those gay people" at the dner table. I wish were as simple and CBS-smy as ve the gay guy om work to fay bowlg night.

MY SON IS GAY

There's a new Android app out (here's the English versn) lled "Is My Son Gay? ") that will tell you if, fact, your son is a gay person. So below I've provid a better list of ways to tell if your son is a gay person who is you e home om work and you hear nois upstairs and you go up to vtigate and your son's door is open and you tch him "hookg up" (as kids ll today) wh his iend Michael, and you quickly turn around and walk back downstairs and later that night over dner you say "You know, honey, if there's ever anythg you need to tell me...

" and he says "Mom, I'm gay, " then your son is your son has recently gone to llege and hasn't been touch much and you figure hey he's new to llege, he's by makg iends and whatnot, and then late one night he lls you on the phone soundg upset about somethg and you ask him what's wrong and he's quiet for a while and then says "Nothg's wrong, really, I'm jt... Dad, I'm gay, " then your son is your son ever been on a long drive to one of your dghter's swim meets wh you and when stopped at a red light he's turned to you and said "Mom, I feel like I owe to you and dad to tell you that, well, Donald is my boyiend. I'm gay"?

Then your son is probably gay. Chanc are that if you are on your athbed and your tranged son to vis you the middle of a ray night and he ss by your bed quietly until he begs to cry and clutch your hand and says "I wish I'd told you sooner that I'm gay" and then you both stay there silence, you pretendg to be asleep, the only noise the beepg of the mach that will only keep you alive for a ltle while longer, your son is you and your spoe are ever visg your son the big cy he now liv wh all his fancy iends and fancy rtrants and you're out to an awkward lunch before your tra home and you three get to another potls fight about years-old stuff and 's really unfortable and fally you or your spoe says "Well, if you'd jt settle down wh the right girl, I thk-" and then your son terpts you by yellg "Guys, I'm GAY. Gay gay gay, gay as gay gets.

HOW DO I DISCS BEG GAY WH MY 8-YEAR-OLD?

I'm gay. I'm not gay, but my boyiend is!

" and then you lgh and ms his hair and the livg room your hband shows your son's boyiend his mol ships, then your son is probably gay, though he might be bisexual, so be reful about your son ever says "Oh my goodns, " when surprised or when openg a gift, well then yeah, he probably gay. My 17-year-old son and I got to a b of a heated argument this weekend and the midst of my son said he's gay.

My hband says that he has always thought that our son is gay and that if he's gay, he's gay.