Whe Natnalist Groups Are Spltg Over Gay Incln | Tthout

gay and white

Why some whe natnalists want to appear gay-iendly.

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WHE GAY PRIVILEGE EXISTS ALL YEAR, BUT IS PARTICULARLY HURTFUL DURG PRI

Whe gay privilege exists all year, but is particularly tratg durg Pri * gay and white *

Jt as the movement for LGBTQ rights has been whewashed, so has Pri month often felt like a whe, gay-centered event — far removed om the lears of the Stonewall a recent article for BET, I discs how the Stonewall rts should be nsired an important part of Black history. And yet Roland Emmerlich’s 2015 movie "Stonewall" shamelsly downplayed the role Black queer people played leadg the rts — gog so far as havg a whe gay man throw the first brick, stead of Marsha P. This actn was met wh anger om whe gay men who felt the flag reprented uny spe sk lor — a particularly tone-af fense given that Philalphia's gay bars had recently bee a hotbed for racism.

”It isn’t a cince that that same summer of 2017, 11 owners of queer spac Philalphia went through mandatory anti-discrimatn trag after several cints at var gay bars — cludg the disvery of a YouTube vio showg bar owner Darryl DePiano g racial slurs 2016, and other alleged cints volvg racial discrimatn. We have seen a whe gay man named Ed Buck pe acuntabily for the aths of two Black gay men found his home — a jarrg realy that shows jt how much power whe queers wield over queers of lor. ”No Jtice, No Pri and Black Liv Matter–affiliated groups reprised the prott ci across the untry throughout the Capal Pri nontatn and others like have laid bare a growg chasm wh the LGBTQ+ muny between olr activists and younger; between gay whe cisgenr men who feel like they n celebrate post-marriage equaly and those who fear for their liv unr a Tmp admistratn; between those whose biggt stumblg block life is beg gay and those who feel their eedom is ntgent not only on LGBTQ+ rights but also on issu like police reform, reproductive rights, and enomic equaly.

”But as dtups ed by groups like No Jtice, No Pri show — as well as other velopments, like the addn of a brown stripe to Philalphia’s LGBTQ pri flag; and scuffl over the cln of Israeli flags at monstratns — that not everyone is happy wh the LGBTQ+ movement’s foc on tersectnaly, which has foreground discsns of privilege, police btaly, sexism, racism, and anti-trans BeckSome gay whe cisgenr men are startg to tune out.

WHE GAY MEN ARE HRG OUR PROGRS AS A QUEER COMMUNY

* gay and white *

“You have gay whe men who are no longer volved activism or muny work bee they jt get shouted down by mory activists who want to racialize everythg, ” said Jamie Kirchick, a right-leang journalist and visg fellow at the Brookgs Instutn. Not only is ed as shorthand to talk about work between alns, has also e to embody the ia that, as wh the experience of inty, the sourc of opprsn — sexism, homophobia, transphobia, racism — are ternnected.

“I thk what [the foc on tersectnaly] do is brg everyone to rally around our victimhood, and that, fundamentally, is negative, ” said Jimmy LaSalvia, now a polil pennt who -found gay Republin group the Log Cab Republins. ”But Olson, who is gay and married, add that the ternal nflict the LGBTQ+ movement is currently experiencg — and the drop-off participatn om those at the top — was to be expected after marriage equaly.

THE HIDN GAY LIV FALLY BEG UNVERED

Pri Flag roundup looks at the var LGBTQ pri flags the muny. The pri flag meang and pri flag lors are also explaed here tail tanm wh LGBTQ Pri Month. Gay, lbian and transgenr symbols tailed as well. * gay and white *

Uned by the Vietnam War, was an “credible era of dialogue” between social-jtice groups of starkly different Gay Liberatn Front marched wh the Black Panthers and participated antiwar monstratns. The movement was not only far more centralized than today, when several large LGBTQ+ advocy anizatns wh lots of money generally set the agenda; was stacked wh crics of palism, cludg munists like Harry Hay, who -found early homophile anizatn the Mattache Society. ” He noted that AIDS activism the 1980s and 1990s — which gay men and their alli chaed themselv to ernment buildgs and performed die-s on the streets of major ci — was hardly pole.

Brian Sims said his experience as a gay whe cisgenr man — and the discrimatn he has faced on acunt of his sexual orientatn — has ma him more sympathetic to the plight of members of the muny who are more disenanchised than he is. ”Sims said seemed obv to him that sexism, racism, transphobia, ableism, and homophobia e om the same place, and said that the far-right polics of the Tmp admistratn have ma tersectnaly all the more important. To do this, gay whe cisgenr men have to not only let their guard down and listen but also acknowledge the relative power they wield and e to elevate those lower down who have been historilly margalized.

” It is, after all, psychologilly taxg for a gay whe cisgenr man who got bullied high school for his sexual orientatn and n still be fired for 28 stat to hear about the privilege he has as a whe man.

WHE NATNALIST GROUPS ARE SPLTG OVER GAY INCLN

How do whens shape our romantic liv? At a party for gay Asian men and their whe male "admirers," Jam Han Mattson nsirs the heavily racialized world of datg.  * gay and white *

It may appear quat now, when we have TV seri like Hulu’s Love, Victor (about a Latx teen explorg sexual fluidy) or Netflix’s Bondg (about sex work and alternative sexualy), but the great gay panic set off by Ellen DeGener g out on her s 1997 was a bombshell that didn’t necsarily nvce the works that they’d open the gat to LGBTQ experienc. Luckily Will & Grace buted 1998 and the groundbreakg NBC seri nvced many that gay people might not be so toxic (and wouldn’t sre off advertisers) — so much so that Vice Print Joe Bin later creded wh changg his md about same-sex marriage.

BLACK AND GAY BLACK AND WHE

Dpe the fact that lns of Amerins wnsed two men raise a happy and healthy dghter om the fort of their livg room sofas, took a fan mpaign to lobby Disney-owned ABC to fally allow Mchell (gay actor Jse Tyler Fergon) and Cameron (straight actor Eric Stontreet) to kiss ( fally happened 2010).

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY AND WHITE

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My life would never really be the same aga. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 18k4ks7">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}} span{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0rem;text-transform:palize;}@media(max-width: 48rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}</style><div class="css-18k4ks7 exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css 1eqkg5m">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-style:normal;letter-spacg:0.02rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;-webk-text-stroke:0.005rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><addrs class="css-1eqkg5m ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 19e0noj">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;-webk-text-stroke:0.005rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-19e0noj ehvvd9m1"><style data-emotn="css 1sa04t">{borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;marg-right:0.3125rem;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Jam Han Mattson" tle="Headshot of Jam Han Mattson" width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/231272/jam-han-mattson/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Jam Han Mattson</a></span><style data-emotn="css 1bcsdhu">{display:le-block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;marg-left:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><time class="css-1bcsdhu exadjwu6">Published: Sep 27, 2021</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c exadjwu15"><style data-emotn="css 1hpjtwr">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;posn:relative;marg-top:0.9375rem;}</style><div class="ntent-hear-actns css-1hpjtwr exadjwu14"><style data-emotn="css 1mi99c5">{background-lor:#FF3A30;lor:#000000;borr:th solid #FF3A30;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;paddg:0.625rem 1.25rem;marg-top:0rem;marg-bottom:0rem;-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;text-transform:upperse;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;paddg-top:0.85rem;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;width:to;borr-radi:2rem;background:#FF3A30;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.04rem;}{background-lor:#ffffff;lor:#000;cursor:poter;borr:th solid #FF3A30;} svg{fill:#000000;} svg>path{fill:#000000;}{marg-left:1rem;} svg>path{fill:#000000;}{outle:0.125rem dotted #000000;outle-offset:0.2rem;} svg{fill:#000000;}</style><button data-tooltip-id="article-hear-save" class="ntentSaveButton css-1mi99c5 e12nq69g1"><style data-emotn="css 7g4d0s">{width:1rem;height:1rem;marg-right:0.625rem;} path{fill:#ffffff;} path{fill:#ffffff;}</style><svg xmlns=" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 48 62" class="css-7g4d0s e10k4xbi2"><path fill="#000" fill-le="evenodd" d="M24 46.52 48 61V0H0v61.44l24-14.92ZM5.67 50.9 24 39.5l18.33 11.4V5.7H5.67v45.2Z" clip-le="evenodd"></path></svg>Save Article</button><style data-emotn="css 13tt5c6">{width:160px;text-align:left;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:0.045rem;font-size:0.70284rem;le-height:1.1;lor:#595959;text-transform:none;}</style></div></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - 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50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="jam han mattson" tle="jam han mattson" width="2000" height="1000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 285vyd">{le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-285vyd enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 1mcfn5x">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Elae Chung</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css am5pt0">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;}{float:left;text-transform:upperse;font-weight:bold;marg-right:0.9375rem;marg-bottom:-0.625rem;marg-top:0;}{font-fay:Glanz,Glanz-fallback,Tim,Serif;font-size:6.25rem;font-weight:normal;le-height:0.75;marg-right:0;paddg:0.6rem 0.75rem 0 0;}@-moz-document url-prefix(){{marg-top:0.625rem;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-right:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{le-height:0.75;}} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0">When I was a hman llege, a iend of me took me to a hoe party near downtown Mneapolis. I didn’t thk much of at the time—beg neteen, I seized any opportuny to drk un-rd—but after we arrived, I fot about the booze. The group was entirely male: about 90% Asian, most their twenti, the rt whe and signifintly olr. The were hawkish yet clumsy men who lumbered om Asian guy to Asian guy, leerg, while the Asian men giggled, or flirted, or acted strangely grateful. Some of the Asian men danced. Some stood at the perimeter, asssg. All of them, seemed, were vyg for the attentn of the olr whe men. </p><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="1" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> I got a beer, avoid eye ntact, and when I returned to my iend, a fellow gay Asian guy, I leaned and said, “What <em>is </em>this?”</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="2" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1643r8a">{borr:none;marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;paddg:0rem;}</style><asi class="css-1643r8a e6pr2lz5"><style data-emotn="css l3w2xc">{display:le-block;font-weight:normal;marg:0rem;borr-top:0.25rem solid #15263D;paddg-right:1.1rem;paddg-top:0.4375rem;text-transform:lowerse;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.3;}</style><h6 class="css-l3w2xc e6pr2lz3"><style data-emotn="css 156fvc1">{borr-bottom:0.4375rem solid #FF3A30;borr-right:0.4375rem solid transparent;ntent:'';display:le-block;height:0;marg-right:0.5rem;width:0;}</style><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-156fvc1 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 8lle59">{max-width:lc(100% - 120px - .625rem);}</style><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Stori</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css c4s2gi">{paddg:0rem;marg:0rem;list-style:none;}</style><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><style data-emotn="css 79zw4t">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:2rem;paddg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.9375rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{le-height:1.4;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;}</style><li class="css-79zw4t e6pr2lz2"><style data-emotn="css 1bn7a5e">{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webk-jtify-ntent:flex-start;jtify-ntent:flex-start;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><a href="/liftyle/a36881723/gay-asian-amerin-men-inty-qutn/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Gay Asian-Amerin Male Experience" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1l0u1">{marg-right:0.625rem;height:to;}</style><img src="" alt="gay asian amerin men" tle="The Gay Asian-Amerin Male Experience" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">The Gay Asian-Amerin Male Experience</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-79zw4t e6pr2lz2"><a href="/news-polics/a36557765/asian-amerin-iny-language-assimialtn-reclamatn/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Language Don't Defe Me as an Asian Amerin" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="asian amerin language" tle="Language Don't Defe Me as an Asian Amerin" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Language Don't Defe Me as an Asian Amerin</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-79zw4t e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/books/a36448936/amy-tan-pbs-documentary-terview-untend-memoir/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Amy Tan Is Wrg Through the Qutns" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="amy tan" tle="Amy Tan Is Wrg Through the Qutns" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Amy Tan Is Wrg Through the Qutns</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="3" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> “It’s an Asian group,” he said. “For Asians and their admirers.”</p><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> “And all the admirers are old whe guys?”</p><p data-no-id="5" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> He shgged, drank. “I gus,” he said. </p><p data-no-id="6" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> I felt, for a moment, unmoored. Though I’d told him I didn’t re where we went, jt that I wanted to drk, I hadn’t expected to be thst to such a d environment, one wh a clear race and age divi. As we mgled, I felt sctized, an obv newbie, so I stayed close to my iend. </p><p data-no-id="7" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“Relax,” he said. “You’re actg weird.”</p><p data-no-id="8" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I breathed ep, took ep swigs of my beer. </p><p data-no-id="9" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">He troduced me to a group of guys, all Asian, and I sed, chatted, gave perfunctory answers to perfunctory qutns. When my iend exced himself to go to the bathroom, I tried to jo the nversatn—y, Madonna <em>was </em>amazg, and no, I <em>hadn’t </em>heard the new sgle—but beme very clear very quickly that I still languished the land of perfunctory rpons. The group, disapprovg, turned abptly exclive, and I found myself alone, feelg dreadfully nspicuo.</p><p data-no-id="10" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> Then, a savr.</p><p data-no-id="11" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">A man me up to me. A whe man thrice my age. He said, “Let me gus, Che.”</p><p data-no-id="12" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> My stomach dropped.</p><p data-no-id="13" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> “Well you’re not Vietname or Indonian or Thai—you’re too big. Japane? No. Too thick. Not Korean eher bee your face isn’t…hmm. Mongolian?”</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="14" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1eiql25">{text-align:center;marg:0rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;paddg-bottom:0.9375rem;}</style><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><style data-emotn="css ow0dpz">{borr:0.3125rem solid #FF3A30;borr-radi:100%;ntent:'';display:block;height:2.1875rem;left:50%;marg:-0.99rem to 0 -1.33rem;posn:absolute;width:2.1875rem;}</style><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-ow0dpz eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css la9czl">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1.625rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1.2;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}{ntent:'"';display:block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:3.4375rem;le-height:0.72;font-style:alic;paddg:0.3125rem 0.875rem 0 0;}</style><blockquote class="css-la9czl e1pe3zr90">External expectatn mand that I not only know but love the exoticism attached to my exterr.</blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="15" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> I looked toward the bathroom, willg my iend to e back.</p><p data-no-id="16" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> “I’m right, aren’t I,” the man said.</p><p data-no-id="17" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> “I’m Korean,” I said.</p><p data-no-id="18" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> “You’re <em>not</em>,” he said. “Oh my god. But yeah, I see now. God, I <em>love </em>Koreans. The food, the culture. Amazg.”</p><p data-no-id="19" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"> I flhed. The nversatns embarrassed me. I was a Korean adoptee, raised North Dakota by whe parents; I had yet to unrstand what beg Korean actually meant. External expectatn, however, mand that I not only know but love the exoticism attached to my exterr, so while I’d experienced plenty of the nversatns before, they still felt shockgly h every time they occurred. What <em>are </em>you? the people implored. Oh you’re <em>that</em>? I <em>love </em>that! Let me tell you how much I know about you. Let me <em>pliment </em>you bee you’re <em>that. </em>Feel wele bee I unrstand you! Feel imprsed by my knowledge! Feel honored that I’ve studied you! Your kd is <em>amazg!</em></p><style data-emotn="css 18pb4rg">{borr:0;borr-bottom:th solid black;marg:1.875rem 0;clear:both;}</style><hr data-no-id="20" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="21" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0"> In high school, I remember watchg a <em>Sefeld</em> episo tled "The Che Woman." In , Jerry, after gettg off the phone wh a woman named Donna Chang (who, ’s revealed, is actually a blond woman om Long Island named Donna Changste), adms to likg Che women. Elae lls him out, tells him that what he’s said is a b racist. He rponds by sayg, “If I like their race, how n that be racist?”</p><p data-no-id="22" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Back then, I agreed wh this sentiment. Racism was about hate, I thought, not love, so if Jerry profsed a sire for this particular race, how <em>uld </em> be racist? If your feelgs were posive, how <em>uld </em>they be offensive? People had preferenc. Some liked blonds, some bt, some tall, some short—so what was the difference if someone preferred Che people?</p><style data-emotn="css 8c6v">{posn:absolute;left:-10000px;top:to;width:1px;height:1px;overflow:hidn;}</style><div data-ad-exclu class="css-8c6v ehha8ut0">This ntent is imported om youTube. You may be able to fd the same ntent another format, or you may be able to fd more rmatn, at their web se.</div><style data-emotn="css 9angbx">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;m-height:299px;}@media(max-width: 30rem){{m-height:163px;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{m-height:252px;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{m-height:347px;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{m-height:299px;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{m-height:344px;}}</style><div data-embed="youtube" data-no-id="23" class="embed align-center css-9angbx exa3d2e3"><style data-emotn="css 79elbk">{posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-79elbk exa3d2e2"><style data-emotn="css b0nlql">{background:lear-gradient(rgba(0,0,0,.8) , rgba(0,0,0,0) 95%);background-repeat:no-repeat;-webk-background-size:100% 60px;background-size:100% 60px;posn:absolute;top:0rem;left:0rem;right:0rem;bottom:0rem;z-x:2;height:60px;poter-events:her;}</style><div class="css-b0nlql exa3d2e1"></div><style data-emotn="css 8vvrvc">{lor:#fff;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:"YouTube Noto",Roboto,Arial,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:18px;height:60px;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;posn:absolute;paddg-left:1rem;left:0rem;right:0rem;top:0rem;text-shadow:0 0 2px rgba(0,0,0,0.5);z-x:4;}</style><div class="css-8vvrvc exa3d2e0"></div><style data-emotn="css 52d8dn">{background:rgba(23,23,23,0.8);borr-bottom-right-radi:2px;borr-top-right-radi:2px;bottom:5px;lor:#fff;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-weight:500;font-size:16px;le-height:16px;font-fay:"YouTube Noto",Roboto,Arial,Helveti,sans-serif;height:47px;paddg:16px 12px;posn:absolute;-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;z-x:2;}</style><style data-emotn="css 1exe7l8">{background:rgba(23,23,23,0.8);borr-bottom-right-radi:2px;borr-top-right-radi:2px;bottom:5px;lor:#fff;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-weight:500;font-size:16px;le-height:16px;font-fay:"YouTube Noto",Roboto,Arial,Helveti,sans-serif;height:47px;paddg:16px 12px;posn:absolute;-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;z-x:2;}</style><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" aria-label="Watch on YouTube" href=" class="exa3d2e5 css-1exe7l8 e1c1bym14"><span>Watch on</span><style data-emotn="css 49nnnm">{display:block;height:16px;marg-left:9px;width:72px;}</style><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="Watch on YouTube" width="to" height="to" class="css-49nnnm exa3d2e4" /></a><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css 1vn4202">{background:none;borr:0;posn:absolute;left:50%;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);z-x:1;cursor:poter;}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1vn4202 e1f7ylgd0"><style data-emotn="css a0gows">{opacy:0.8;-webk-transn:opacy .25s cubic-bezier(0,0,0.2,1);transn:opacy .25s cubic-bezier(0,0,0.2,1);}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {opacy:1;}</style><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/;sendary=%2523ffffff" loadg="lazy" alt="youtube in" width="68" height="68" class="css-a0gows e1f7ylgd3" /></button><style data-emotn="css 157wciq">{width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;cursor:poter;}</style><style data-emotn="css g939jb">{width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;cursor:poter;}</style><img alt="This is an image" tle="Vio player poster image" loadg="lazy" width="2000" height="1000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="e1f7ylgd5 css-g939jb exi4f7p0" /></div></div></div><p data-no-id="24" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Bee I’d had so ltle exposure to Asian people of any sort, didn’t occur to me then that “Che” wasn’t a physil characteristic. Once a while, I’d see an Asian person picted on TV, mostly an unflatterg way, and I’d be like: Nope. No way. Not <em>me</em>. Not what<em> I’d</em> want a partner<em>.</em> I effectively othered this group of people, om whom I tegorilly distanced myself, bee they were picted, on TV anyway, as unattractive, short, dark-haired, small-eyed people who spoke broken English. Who’d want that? I thought. But then: if that’s your <em>thg</em>—different strok and all.</p><p data-no-id="25" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It wasn’t until llege, until I beiend a number of ternatnal stunts, that I renfigured how I saw race, and my own race particular. Through many nversatns, I learned that my thkg, for years, had been rooted a refal to accept myself as part of an Asian muny. I was different, I’d thought. I wasn’t like them. My parents were whe. My iends were whe. I was basilly whe.</p><p data-no-id="26" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">But of urse, I wasn’t. And I wouldn’t be treated as such, no matter how hard I tried.</p><hr data-no-id="27" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="28" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0">At the Mneapolis party, the man ntued discsg his love for all thgs Korean. He said <em>Anyeonghaseyo. </em>He talked about bibimbap. He talked about Korean men beg more assertive, more manly than Japane. He said, “It’s my dream to go to North Korea, you know? Jt to see . I know ’s msed up, but ’s gotta be <em>fascatg.</em>” I stood quietly. I didn’t know what he was talkg about. My experience wh anythg Korean was limed to the posters the stunt unn advertisg study abroad programs. I had no Korean iends. I knew no Korean words. I’d had very, very ltle experience wh Korean food. But still, this guy went on.</p><p data-no-id="29" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“I know I said Mongolian before, but I actually <em>knew </em>you were Korean,” he said. “I have this tun.”</p><p data-no-id="30" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The man had yet to ask me anythg real about myself. The “Korean” intifier gave him license to know me. I was, to him, a set of prenceived ias. Later, of urse, I’d unrstand that this strippg of humany embodied what meant to be a fetishist.</p><hr data-no-id="31" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="32" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0"> Before the party, I’d naively thought that people simply fell love wh people, that while physil preferenc (which, my md at the time, clud race) ially drew people to each other, love self was as picted the media: that is, some smic, nebulo force that rulted long stretch of mania, elatn, obssn, and longg. The stctural mechanisms dictatg the circumstanc for the pairgs wasn’t somethg I thought too hard about. Why would I? I mean: what a downer! Love was love was love: no e ponrg the muddy specifics. As time went on, however, and the dynamics of the parti crystallized, as I started beiendg some of the Asians and whe men alike, I realized that much more than preference shaped the teractns. A power dynamic was play: the larger percentage of Asians longed for urtship om the small number of whe men, no matter what they looked like, no matter their profsnal statns life, no matter their social grac or (more often) lack thereof. As a llective, they accepted the standard, media-driven pictns of romance, which were populated almost exclively by whe upl. Sce they weren’t whe, sce there was no way they uld fully enter that world of amoro possibily, they sacrificed the mysteri and excements of love simply to be partnered to a whe person, some of whom they didn’t even like. 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data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-id="47efb6bd-4e4e-4d1a-b121-95c333b35693" data-vars-ga-product-price="$15.39" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="141dd74e-e7cf-45e1-adfc-c13a03c5b2ab" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Mystery" data-vars-ga-gallery-id data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | On Sale" data-vars-ga-sku="0063079917" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" role="button" data-ab-label="ProdClick" class="product-btn-lk en6kra60 css-1i4dhmq e1c1bym14">$15 at Amazon</a></div></div></div></div><p data-no-id="34" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Time after time I’d see an Asian man pe after a whe man who’d ignore him, or publicly disrpect him, or mock him, or dump him unceremonly for another Asian man, their bodi seemgly terchangeable. The Asian guy would evably fall apart while the whe guy moved on to his next body of lor. </p><p data-no-id="35" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Given the unsettlg observatns, I nclud that love was love was love, y, but who you loved, often tim, was termed by whe supremacy. Those who profsed undyg allegiance to your exotic, faraway culture<em>, </em>no matter how or where you were raised, often mand that you adhere to their flty and rctive notns of your race, or else be disrd, your nonnformy assltg their ia of foreign thenticy. Fetishism was often mistaken for love on the part of the fetishized, then, bee of a sperate hunger for acceptance, and over the years, as doctratn to power stctur strengthened, this hunger veloped to what we benignly lled “attractn.”</p><hr data-no-id="36" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="37" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0">Attractn is myster, but perhaps not as imperable as we thk, and s examatn n make que unfortable. Take me, for example. As an adoptee raised by whe people a very whe state, I thought pretty normal that my attractns would lie whens. If that’s what’s around, and that’s what you knew, that’s most likely what you were gog to be drawn to. I didn’t, however, realize then—before llege, before I knew many Asians—that this <em>also </em>translated to wantg to <em>be </em>whe, and often even thkg of myself as whe (the ma reason I nstantly separated myself om unflatterg Asian pictns on televisn), so when I envisned myself upledom, I envisned a monoracial set, and even through llege, as my own self-acceptance emerged, I still thought entirely normal for me to only date whe men. It wasn’t until signifintly later that I found this behavr somewhat aberrant, that by ascribg this iends-only stat to all other Asian men, I was not only furtherg the stereotype of the unsirable Asian man, but I was also bowg down to a nstct I’d bee pretty vol agast.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="38" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-ow0dpz eagam8p0"></span><blockquote class="css-la9czl e1pe3zr90">Love was love was love, y, but who you loved, often tim, was termed by whe supremacy. </blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="39" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">When I realized this, I felt extraordarily helpls. I thought: What uld I possibly do to change this? Was even possible to reverse so many years of batterg doctratn? How uld I strip away the stctural, mechanized, pre-packaged fns of bety and value and allow <em>actual </em>bety and value to flourish?</p><hr data-no-id="40" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="41" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0">In 2009, I moved to Korea. I went there to rearch the particulars of my adoptn and to rne wh my birth fay. The were the ma reasons, the propulsive reasons, but unrlyg the reasons was also a need to separate myself om such pervasive whens: to be an Asian among Asians, to sire both my own and others’ Asian-ns. I would only date other Koreans, I told myself. I wouldn’t even look the directn of a whe man.</p><p data-no-id="42" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">And, oddly, worked. The more I was wh Korean men, the more I wanted Korean men, and the more I wanted them, the more I wanted to <em>be </em>them. Of urse, the transformatn wasn’t to happen—I was too fundamentally Amerin—but wantg to be Korean, and failg, was an entirely different experience than wantg to be whe and failg. No Korean ever me up to me and said, “Let me gus…” No Korean ever quired about my hamburger take or asked if I’d met Brad Pt. Failg at beg Korean, while very tratg at tim, never felt like a gross personal shortg. Instead, felt like somethg I uld gently work towards, and somethg, if I tried, that would rult a rounr and more charable visn of myself. </p><hr data-no-id="43" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="44" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0">Back at the Mneapolis party, beme creasgly clear that I wasn’t terted this fifty-year-old man. His supposed flattery of my culture, then, turned quickly to words of spe. “Not much of a talker huh?” followed by “Maybe you’re jt lookg for a sugar-daddy. Figur,” and fally, “You know you’re not cute enough to be so stand-offish.” I’d hardly said anythg the entire time, had jt listened to him asss, exame, then berate me, and if I hadn’t been so young, if I’d had time to really unrstand what was happeng, I might’ve been more angry than unfortable: this man, a few mut’ time, had effectively rced me to a set of cultural stereotyp, and then, when I hadn’t rpond posively, had further rced me to a set of offensively simple characteristics.</p><div data-ad-exclu="(m-width: 90rem)" data-embed="embed-product" data-no-id="45" size="medium" class="size-medium align-left embed css-1iigb5k etrqhn80"><div id="product-2c34b3da-4444-4d4f-93-7d75d984529e" class="css-17pp2fn etrqhn81"></div><div size="medium" class="size-medium align-left css-60ezry eyaokey4"><div class="top css-10ck1xh eyaokey2"><h2 class="css-6nsryy e8seki10">The Lost Prayers of Ricky Grav</h2></div><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href=" aria-label="$13 at Amazon for The Lost Prayers of Ricky Grav" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"6d6f68a9-010c-4169-97b0-14dd8a217bdb","se_id":"8b6b0f67-bc-4d9d-86c6-dff1abae12","is_active":te,"metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","is_active":te,"bs_un_id":"ad046b46-538b-42cb-aa54-c3d158875ed6","tails":"","metadata":{},"created_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241365+00:00","last_updated_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241381+00:00"}}" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="$13 at Amazon" data-vars-ga-media-role data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-id="2c34b3da-4444-4d4f-93-7d75d984529e" data-vars-ga-product-price="$12.78" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="e11b23-79d3-4be1-a303-eb50c96aba3f" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | On Sale" data-vars-ga-sku="1503942481" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" class="product-image-lk eyaokey0 en6kra60 css-15xslai e1c1bym14"><div class="css-zjhp4x e729n7u1"><div data-optimizely="product-image-ntaer" class="css-1pc0key e729n7u0"><img srcSet=" 640w, 980w" alt="The Lost Prayers of Ricky Grav" tle="The Lost Prayers of Ricky Grav" src="" width="333" height="500" dg="async" loadg="lazy" /></div></div></a><div size="medium" class="css-y6pcxk eyaokey1"><div class="css-10ck1xh eyaokey2"><h2 class="css-6nsryy e8seki10">The Lost Prayers of Ricky Grav</h2></div><div class="css-i2lorc e1emux0g0">Now 49% Off</div><div size="medium" class="size-medium css-g3y2dc e1a1omje0"><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href=" aria-label="$13 at Amazon for The Lost Prayers of Ricky Grav" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"6d6f68a9-010c-4169-97b0-14dd8a217bdb","se_id":"8b6b0f67-bc-4d9d-86c6-dff1abae12","is_active":te,"metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","is_active":te,"bs_un_id":"ad046b46-538b-42cb-aa54-c3d158875ed6","tails":"","metadata":{},"created_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241365+00:00","last_updated_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241381+00:00"}}" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="$13 at Amazon" data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-id="2c34b3da-4444-4d4f-93-7d75d984529e" data-vars-ga-product-price="$12.78" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="e11b23-79d3-4be1-a303-eb50c96aba3f" data-vars-ga-gallery-id data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | On Sale" data-vars-ga-sku="1503942481" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" role="button" data-ab-label="ProdClick" class="product-btn-lk en6kra60 css-1i4dhmq e1c1bym14">$13 at Amazon</a></div></div></div></div><p data-no-id="46" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">But I <em>was</em> young, and I had yet to learn how to navigate this world, so stead of lashg back, I found my iend and urged him to leave.</p><p data-no-id="47" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“You’re not havg fun?” he said. </p><p data-no-id="48" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“Jt tired,” I said. </p><p data-no-id="49" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">He looked at me for a while, then said, “You know, this <em>uld </em>be fun for you.”</p><p data-no-id="50" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">And I thought about that, how this uld be fun, how right then seemed anythg <em>but </em>fun, but how <em>uld </em>be, if I tried, if I gave a chance, bee maybe this was my hort, maybe the parti were what my adult life would move towards, maybe I hadn’t tried hard enough. I mean, what did I know? I was jt begng this grown-up life.</p><p data-no-id="51" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“There’ll be other parti,” I said. </p><p data-no-id="52" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">He shgged. We left. </p><p data-no-id="53" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">On the r ri home, he told me that everyone had been watchg me. The guy who’d approached me was apparently que the hot mody. He was recently sgle, havg jt broken thgs off wh his young Sgaporean boyiend, and everyone, seemed, was dyg to have a go at him.</p><p data-no-id="54" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“So I was the lucky one,” I said.</p><p data-no-id="55" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“That’s what people thought. I mean, he’s not ugly.”</p><p data-no-id="56" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I didn’t say anythg more.</p><p data-no-id="57" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The next time I saw the man at a gatherg, he was talkg to another guy, a young Malaysian guy, and he didn’t even acknowledge me.</p><p data-no-id="58" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I was fe wh that.</p><style data-emotn="css 2ok9l4">{marg-top:1.875rem;borr-top:th solid #595959;}</style><div data-jam-id="thor-b" class="css-2ok9l4 e13rjwo40"><style data-emotn="css f0b5z8">{display:grid;grid-template-lumns:to 1;grid-lumn-gap:0.625rem;paddg-top:1.25rem;paddg-bottom:1.25rem;clear:both;}</style><div class="css-f0b5z8 e19xk9rq8"><style data-emotn="css irehmq">{borr-radi:50%;height:60px;width:60px;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:40px;height:40px;}}</style><span class="css-irehmq e19xk9rq1"><style data-emotn="css o0wq4v">{width:100%;height:100%;borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Jam Han Mattson" tle="Headshot of Jam Han Mattson" width="100%" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" class="css-o0wq4v e19xk9rq3" /></span><div><style data-emotn="css 3sqxrq">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;grid-gap:4px;-webk-align-ems:basele;-webk-box-align:basele;-ms-flex-align:basele;align-ems:basele;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;}</style><div class="css-3sqxrq e19xk9rq7"><span class="css-0 e19xk9rq5"><style data-emotn="css 1yunoig">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><style data-emotn="css 1kgdfad">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;text-transform:upperse;lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/231272/jam-han-mattson/" class="e1c1bym13 css-1kgdfad e1c1bym14"><span>Jam Han Mattson</span></a></span></div><style data-emotn="css 8u8x58">{display:-webk-box;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.4;overflow:hidn;paddg-top:0.3125rem;-webk-box-orient:vertil;-webk-le-clamp:5;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{-webk-le-clamp:10;}}>*{display:le;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:CharterItalic,Geia,Tim,Serif;} p{marg:0rem;} p a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;} p a:hover{text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-8u8x58 e19xk9rq4"><p>Jam Han Mattson was born Seoul, Korea and raised North Dakota; he is the award-wng thor of two novels, <em>Reprieve </em>and <em>The Lost Prayers of Ricky Grav</em>, and is currently the fictn edor of <em>Hyphen </em>magaze.</p></div></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css ciejky">{clear:both;marg-top:1.25rem;}</style><div id="journey-le" class="css-ciejky e1cslvxz0"></div><div class="css-79elbk eg8z2o90"><div class="css-79elbk e1tp40ll1"><div data-anchor-id="P0-0" class="css-0 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ewisyje1"><div><style data-emotn="css 1tuodqg">{width:330px;paddg-left:30px;}</style><div id="ad-article-rail-flt-wrapper" class="vertil-ad css-1tuodqg eqm02p30"><style data-emotn="css w0cuw4">{display:block;posn:-webk-sticky;posn:sticky;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="vertilAdSticky css-w0cuw4 eqm02p32"><style data-emotn="css 9fasmy">{m-height:523px;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:jtify;-webk-jtify-ntent:space-between;jtify-ntent:space-between;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{m-height:138px;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{ntent:"";display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;borr-bottom:th solid #E8E8E8;}}</style><div class="standard-article-vertil-ad css-9fasmy eqm02p31"><style data-emotn="css 14b96eg">{m-width:18.75rem;text-align:center;}</style><div 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0.25rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-ju94x7 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">Watch Next</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css un61">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;marg:0rem;m-height:to;paddg-top:1rem;text-align:left;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><h6 class="css-un61 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css b3y6x">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;} 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