Growg Up As The Child of Gay Parents | Andrew Christian

Contents:

• KIDS CAN THRIVE WH GAY PARENTS
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*
• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
• 10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS
• GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?
• I HATED GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?
• GROWG UP AS THE CHILD OF GAY PARENTS
• 20/20: GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS
• THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV
• WHY GAY PARENTS MAY BE THE BT PARENTS
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

KIDS CAN THRIVE WH GAY PARENTS

Three key fdgs stood out this study: children of married, oppose-sex parents have a high graduatn rate pared to the others; children of lbian fai have a very low graduatn rate pared to the others; and children the other four typ of livg arrangements (mon law marriage, gay uple, sgle mother, and sgle father) are siar to each other and fall between the extrem of married heterosexual parents and lbian upl.

The women (whose average age both groups was 29) wh gay or bisexual fathers had difficulty wh adult attachment issu three areas: (1) they were ls fortable wh closens and timacy; (2) they were ls able to tst and pend on others; and (3) they experienced more anxiety relatnships pared to the women raised by heterosexual fathers (and mothers). The study is noteworthy for several reasons: (1) his study sample was large, reprentative, and populatn-based (not a small, self-selected group); (2) Regnes studied the rpons of adult children rather than askg same-sex parents to scribe how their young pennt children are dog; and (3) he was able to draw parisons on up to 80 measur for children who had lived wh (or had) parents who fell to one of eight tegori—tact fai wh both blogil parents who were married to each other, lbian mothers, gay fathers, heterosexual sgle parents, parents who later divorced, habg parents, parents who adopted the rponnt, and other (such as a ceased parent).

4) as prevalent among children wh same-sex parents than the general populatn, after ntrollg for age, sex, ethnicy, and parent soc-enomic stat (Sulls 2015b) n one rencile the signifint fdgs wh the wily publicized studi showg no harmful effects to children who have, or have lived wh, lbian or gay parents? For example, 2005, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn (APA) issued an official brief on lbian and gay parentg, which clud this assertn: “Not a sgle study has found children of lbian and gay parents to be disadvantaged any signifint rpect relative to children of heterosexual parents” (Amerin Psychologil Associatn 2005).

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

The thor remend further flaws exist the vast majory of studi published before 2012 on this subject (Marks 2012) cludg the fact that they relied upon small, nonreprentative sampl that are not reprentative of children typil homosexual fai the Uned major studi, published by Gartrell and Bos (2010) and Biblarz and Stacey (2010), are often ced by gay activists and extensively the media. Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002). The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups.

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:. Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children.

Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980).

10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS

There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980). Beliefs that lbian and gay adults are not f parents likewise have no empiril foundatn (Anrssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995). A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002).

Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991). For stance, one such ncern is that children brought up by lbian mothers or gay fathers will show disturbanc genr inty and/or genr role behavr (Falk, 1989, 1994; Hchens & Kirkpatrick, 1985; Kleber, Howell, & Tibbs-Kleber, 1986; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996).

Three aspects of sexual inty are nsired the rearch: genr inty, which ncerns a person's self-intifitn as male or female; genr-role behavr, which ncerns the extent to which a person's activi, occupatns, and the like are regard by the culture as mascule, feme, or both; and sexual orientatn, which refers to a person's choice of sexual partners, who may be homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (Money & Ehrhardt, 1972; Ste, 1993).

GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?

Although some children have scribed enunters wh anti-gay remarks om peers (Gartrell et al., 2005), young adult offsprg of divorced lbian mothers did not rell beg the targets of any more childhood teasg or victimizatn than did the offsprg of divorced heterosexual mothers (Tasker & Golombok, 1995, 1997). Much of the existg rearch on lbian mothers, gay fathers, and their children was iated to addrs ncerns that arose for such fai the ntext of child ctody disput, and was apparently signed at least part to exame the veracy of mon stereotyp that have been voiced legal proceedgs. Although those om lbian fai were more likely to explore same-sex relatnships, particularly if their childhood fay environment was characterized by an openns and acceptance of lbian and gay relatnships, the large majory of children who grew up lbian fai intified as heterosexual.

I HATED GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS

Subjects evaluated vigt pictg eher a gay male uple or heterosexual uple and their adopted son along the dimensns of parentg abily, gree to which the child's problems were attributable to the parental relatnship, distrs of the child (cludg genr and sexual inty nfn), and the extent to which ctody reassignment was perceived to be beneficial.

A sgle qutn on relatnship satisfactn revealed no signifint difference between groups reported satisfactn, while the 32-em DAS revealed the gay parentg upl to be signifintly more satisfied wh their relatnships than the heterosexual upl, pecially the area of dyadic hn and affective exprsn.

A review of rearch on children of lbian and gay parents intifi some of the sourc of diversy wh lbian and gay parentg muni / prent rearch on those who beme parents the ntext of heterosexual relatnships, before g out as lbian or gay / scribe studi of lbians who beme parents after g out [prent] rearch on children born the ntext of heterosexual relatnships... The amework foc on (1) whether selectn effects produced by homophobia acunt for associatns between parental sexual orientatns and child out; (2) the role of parental genr vis-à-vis sexual orientatn fluencg children's genr velopment; and (3) the relatnship between parental sexual orientatns and children's sexual preferenc and behavrs. The studi reviewed and the fdgs this chapter ought to be the touchstone of further theory and rearch the study of homosexualy, bee they reprent the most refully signed, reliable, valid, and objective measur of adjtment the armamentarium of the behavral scienc.

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?

Although is clear that homosexualy is not and of self related to psychopathology, there are persistent suggtns that the particular strs endured by gay men and lbians, pecially adolcence and young adulthood, may e an upsurge attempted suici and perhaps chemil abe, perhaps temporary or perhaps a segment of homosexuals. The paper foc on (a) methodologil problems rearch on homosexualy; (b) studi parg adjtment levels of male homosexuals and male heterosexuals, effemate and noneffemate male homosexuals, and female homosexuals and female heterosexuals; (c) the relatnship between gree of homosexualy and adjtment; (d) homosexual subculture; and (e) the relatnship between homosexualy and psychopathology. (From the chapter) social science theory and empiril rearch to scribe and expla psychologil heterosexism the US today / addrs the attudal and belief ponents of psychologil heterosexism, wh special attentn to gnive and motivatnal procs / behavral aspects of psychologil heterosexism-specifilly, acts of vlence agast lbians and gay men-are discsed / the nsequenc of psychologil heterosexism are nsired.

GROWG UP AS THE CHILD OF GAY PARENTS

(From the chapter) child ctody / sexual orientatn and liftyle on their children / ctodial gay fathers / children's reactns to havg a gay father / social ntrol strategi / boundary ntrol fluencg factors / mutualy / father's reactns / protective strategi / role molg / children's velopment of sexual inty / homonegative reactns of children. This text featur iativ to improve the procs of clil re for gay and lbian dividuals and their fai, as well as the muny as a whole; mon scenars enuntered clil practice, along wh a discsn of their meang and re; and explic suggtns for child health profsnals to direct efforts to change the ntext of medil tn. Divid to three segments, the book tak an unflchg and entirely new look at motherg: "New Lsons" exam the way which sons of lbians grow up to be different men; "Makg a Fay" looks at fay nstcts and "Facg Loss" reveals the heart-breakg realy that many women have had to nont when their fai were threatened by homophobic urts and tradns.

(From the chapter) gay fatherhood has emerged to public awarens and brought qutns / who are gay fathers, and how do they bee parents / what kd of parents do gay men make, and how do their children velop / what special challeng and strs do gay fathers and their children face daily life, and how do they pe wh them / what n acquatance wh gay fathers and their children offer to the unrstandg of parenthood, child velopment, and fay life / although rearch leratur bearg on such qutns are que new and relatively sparse, existg studi addrs some issu raised by the existence of gay fathers. The Amerin Amy of Pediatrics regniz that a nsirable body of profsnal lerature provis evince that children wh parents who are homosexual n have the same advantag and the same expectatns for health, adjtment, and velopment as n children whose parents are heterosexual. “WHEREAS, The legislative protectn afford to children of parents homosexual relatnships vari om state to state, wh some stat enactg or nsirg legislatn sanctng -parent or send parent adoptn by partners of the same sex, several stat clg to nsir legislatn, and at least one state altogether banng adoptn by the send parent; and.

20/20: GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS

“Homosexualy per se impli no impairment judgment, stabily, reliabily, or general social and votnal pabili; Further, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn urg all mental health profsnals to take the lead removg the stigma of mental illns that has long been associated wh homosexual orientatns.

THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV

“The Amerin Psychologil Associatn plor all public and private discrimatn such areas as employment, hog, public acmodatn, and licensg agast those who engage or have engaged homosexual activi and clar that no burn of proof of such judgment, pacy, or reliabily shall be placed upon the dividuals greater than that imposed on any other persons.

Further, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn supports and urg the enactment of civil rights legislatn at the lol, state, and feral levels that would offer cizens who engage acts of homosexualy the same protectns now guaranteed to others on the basis of race, creed, lor, etc.

WHY GAY PARENTS MAY BE THE BT PARENTS

“WHEREAS people who also experience discrimatn based on age, race, ethnicy, disabily, genr and genr inty, relign, and socenomic stat may pecially benef om accs to marriage for same-sex upl (Divisn 44/Commtee on Sexual Orientatn and Genr Diversy Jot Task Force on Guil for Psychotherapy wh Lbian, Gay, and Bisexual Clients, 2000);. “WHEREAS there is no scientific evince that parentg effectivens is related to parental sexual orientatn: Lbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provi supportive and healthy environments for their children (Patterson, 2000, 2004; Perr, 2002; Tasker, 1999);. “WHEREAS rearch has shown that the adjtment, velopment, and psychologil well-beg of children is unrelated to parental sexual orientatn and that the children of lbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish (Patterson, 2004; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001);.

The days, gay parents are no novelty: We see them strollg through our neighborhoods, participatg our PTA meetgs, and, perhaps most notably, appearg on our TV screens: Mchell and Cam, fathers to Lily, on the ratgs smash Morn Fay; Glee’s Sue Sylvter, expectant mom to a baby nceived wh an as-yet-unrevealed sperm donor, and Rachel’s dads, played wh humor and grace by Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stok. Though this media mastreamifitn of gay parentg is a relatively new phenomenon, for s, gay parents have had children all sorts of fay nfiguratns—whether through adoptn, prev heterosexual relatnships, or, creasgly, by choosg to have blogil offsprg g vro, surrogate, and other methods. In fact, some ways, gay parents may brg talents to the table that straight parents don' parents "tend to be more motivated, more mted than heterosexual parents on average, bee they chose to be parents, " said Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark Universy Massachetts who rearch gay and lbian parentg.

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS

More than half of the kids adopted by gays and lbians had special report didn't pare the adoptn preferenc of gay upl directly wh those of heterosexual upl, said thor David Brodzsky, rearch director at the Instute and -edor of "Adoptn By Lbians and Gay Men: A New Dimensn of Fay Diversy" (Oxford Universy Prs, 2011). Part of that uld be their own preferenc, and part uld be bee of discrimatn by adoptn agenci that puts more difficult children wh what seworkers see as "ls sirable" matter how you slice , Brodzsky told LiveScience, gays and lbians are highly terted adoptn as a group. "When you thk about the 114, 000 children who are eed for adoptn who ntue to live foster re and who are not beg readily adopted, the goal is to crease the pool of available, terted and well-traed dividuals to parent the children, " Brodzsky addn, Brodzsky said, there's evince to suggt that gays and lbians are pecially acceptg of open adoptns, where the child retas some ntact wh his or her birth parents.

"Intertgly, we fd that a small percentage, but enough to be noteworthy, [of birth mothers] make a nsc cisn to place wh gay men, so they n be the only mother their child's life, " Brodzsky parentgRearch has shown that the kids of same-sex upl — both adopted and blogil kids — fare no worse than the kids of straight upl on mental health, social functng, school performance and a variety of other life-succs a 2010 review of virtually every study on gay parentg, New York Universy soclogist Judh Stacey and Universy of Southern California soclogist Tim Biblarz found no differenc between children raised hom wh two heterosexual parents and children raised wh lbian parents. "There's no doubt whatsoever om the rearch that children wh two lbian parents are growg up to be jt as well-adjted and succsful" as children wh a male and a female parent, " Stacey told is very ltle rearch on the children of gay men, so Stacey and Biblarz uldn't draw nclns on those fai. "The dividuals feel like their perspectiv on fay, on genr, on sexualy have largely been enhanced by growg up wh gay parents, " Goldberg 33-year-old man wh a lbian mother told Goldberg, "I feel I'm a more open, well-round person for havg been raised a nontradnal fay, and I thk those that know me would agree.

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?

Growg Up Wh Gay Parents Guts: Abigail Garner * Wrote, MyTurn lumn Newsweek about growg up wh Gay parents * Founr, Jse Gilbert * Raised by two mothers and several other women an urban pound Charlotte Patterson * Profsor of Psychology, Universy of Virgia Jakii Edwards * Author, Like Mother, Like Dghter?

Guts: Abigail Garner * Wrote, MyTurn lumn Newsweek about growg up wh Gay parents * Founr, Jse Gilbert * Raised by two mothers and several other women an urban pound Charlotte Patterson * Profsor of Psychology, Universy of Virgia Jakii Edwards * Author, Like Mother, Like Dghter? Three key fdgs stood out this study: Children of married, oppose-sex parents have a high graduatn rate pared to the others; children of lbian fai have a very low graduatn rate pared to the others; and children the other four typ of livg arrangements (mon law marriage, gay uple, sgle mother, sgle father) are siar to each other and fall between the extrem of married heterosexual parents and lbian upl. The women (whose average age both groups was 29) wh gay or bisexual fathers had difficulty wh adult attachment issu three areas: (1) They were ls fortable wh closens and timacy; (2) they were ls able to tst and pend on others; and (3) they experienced more anxiety relatnships pared to the women raised by heterosexual fathers (and mothers).

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

The study is noteworthy for several reasons: (1) His study sample was large, reprentative and populatn-based (not a small, self-selected group); (2) Regnes studied the rpons of adult children rather than askg same-sex parents to scribe how their young pennt children are dog; and (3) he was able to draw parisons on up to 80 measur for children who had lived wh (or had) parents who fell to one of eight tegori – tact fai wh both blogil parents who were married to each other, lbian mothers, gay fathers, heterosexual sgle parents, parents who later divorced, habg parents, parents who adopted the rponnt, and other (such as a ceased parent). For example, 2005 the Amerin Psychologil Associatn (APA) issued an official brief on lbian and gay parentg, which clud this assertn: “Not a sgle study has found children of lbian and gay parents to be disadvantaged any signifint rpect relative to children of heterosexual parents” (p. And the ways anti-LGBTQ laws harm the kids specifilly are a gapg hole our natnal nversatn about the impact of legislatn like Florida’s recently implemented Parental Rights Edutn law — what crics have lled the “Don’t Say Gay” law — which lims discsn of LGBTQ issu krgarten through the third the dghter of a gay man, I am vastated to image what would have been like to keep my father’s inty a secret at school.