Lovg Olr Men—and Learng to Accept It - The Gay & Lbian Review

Contents:

• MY EXPERIENCE AS PART OF A GAY TERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIP
• I’M 35 AND MY BT IEND IS 64. HERE’S WHY OUR AGE DIFFERENCE AS GAY MEN IS A GIFT
• THE PROS AND NS OF TERGENERATNAL GAY RELATNSHIPS
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• THE TERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIPS OF GAY MEN AND LBIAN WOMEN
• THE INTERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIPS OF GAY MEN AND LBIAN WOMEN
• UNRSTANDG GENERATN GAPS LGBTQ+ COMMUNI: PERSPECTIV ABOUT GAY NEIGHBORHOODS AMONG HETERONORMATIVE AND HOMONORMATIVE GENERATNAL COHORTS

MY EXPERIENCE AS PART OF A GAY TERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIP

Neverthels, the work I’ve done to explore my story a psychotheraptic settg and wrg about , I have e to realize that, while there may be aspects of a still-rolvg “daddy plex” at play my sexual preference, is somethg that I’ve e to embrace as unique to my gay male inty. Ined, the six articl llected here on the theme of tergeneratnal same-sex sex, five ncern men, and the sixth, on late twentieth-century US lbians, monstrat that some adult women's disfort about sex wh younger women and girls was a reactn to their perceptns of the role of tergeneratnal sex among gay men.

I’M 35 AND MY BT IEND IS 64. HERE’S WHY OUR AGE DIFFERENCE AS GAY MEN IS A GIFT

Bee nnectns between pedophilia and homosexualy have loomed large the popular imagatn recent years, stemmg part om nservative efforts to discred the gay rights movement, some scholars may be leery of forthright discsns of the role that age difference has played stcturg var forms of queer relatns the past. Of urse, some people surely did not always follow the script, but most evince we have om a variety of lotns and perds dit that this was the expectatn for sexual ntact between two people who were both blogilly male, who were separated by their ag, and who likely did not intify as gay or queer (those inti eher not yet existence or only choate).

12Most agree that the perd of the greatt flux the meangs attached to age, sexual inty, and sexual role, certaly the Uned Stat, was the early twentieth century precisely bee homosexualy self was beg solidified as an inty centered on object choice, not sexual act or genr prentatn. This study reveals a new lens to view relatnships between midlife to later life adults and their agg parents and parents--law and further intifi lkag between solidary–nflict and ambivalence Words: Ambivalence, Gay men and lbians, In-law relatnships, Intergeneratnal relatnships, Midlife to later life, Solidary– parent–adult child tie is central to both generatns across the life urse; tergeneratnal ti have nsequenc for overall well-beg and “provi the ntext wh which dividuals age, the way [dividuals] mark their own ageg, and the relative value that is attached to that procs” (Lowenste, Katz, & Biggs, 2011, p. Dpe the monstrated signifince of tergeneratnal ti, few studi vtigate relatnships between midlife to later life gay men and lbian women and their later life parents—a relatnship that may be typified by distct dynamics due to gay men and lbian women’s stigmatized sexual mory stat (Averett & Jenks, 2012; Connidis, 2012).

THE PROS AND NS OF TERGENERATNAL GAY RELATNSHIPS

Willson, Kim, Shuey, and Elr (2003) report higher rat of ambivalence adult children’s relatnships wh -laws than relatnships wh Men and Lbian Women’s Intergeneratnal RelatnshipsThe tergeneratnal ti of gay men and lbian adult children may be typified by unique dimensns of nflict, solidary, and ambivalence, although few studi addrs this possibily. A child’s nonheterosexual inty has been shown to be associated wh negative teractns wh later life parents (D’Augelli, 2005); later life parents may be pecially unable to accept their gay or lbian child, or their child’s partner, “bee of the socpolil climate of their child-rearg years, when homosexualy was viewed as an unspeakable moral s or a ep psychologil pathology” (Sav-Williams & Cohen, 1996, p. As evince of this tergeneratnal stra, midlife to later life gay men and lbian women appear to have fewer fay nfidants than heterosexuals (Balsam, Bechae, Rothblum, & Solomon, 2008; Dewaele, Cox, n Berghe, & Vke, 2011; Grossman, D’Augelli, & Hershberger, 2000; Rostosky et al., 2004) and tend to rank social support om iends as more nsistent and important than support om fay (Biblarz & Savci, 2010; Graham & Barnow, 2013; Kurk, 2004, 2006; Lyons, Pts, & Grierson, 2013).

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

This may be particularly salient the -law tie; midlife to later life gays and lbians have rtricted accs to legal and socially sanctned marriage relatnships, yet parents--law are formally predited on a legally regnized relatnship (Oswald, 2002). Notably, however, recent chang state and feral marriage laws allow for the possibily of participatn same-sex marriage (Hull, 2006; Lannutti, 2007; Ramos, Goldberg, & Badgett, 2009), and a growg body of rearch suggts that gay men and lbian women experience supportive and meangful bonds wh parents and -laws (Fredriksen-Goldsen & Mura, 2010; Goldberg & Smh, 2011; Oswald, 2002). Addnally, outns was not an cln creria bee many current midlife to later life gay men and lbians are ls likely to be out their fay of orig due to stigma (Meyer, 2003; Fredriksen-Goldsen, Kim, Barkan, Mura, & Hoy-Ellis, 2013); excludg this group would remove a portn of the sample perhaps most likely to experience parent–child and -law nflict.

THE TERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIPS OF GAY MEN AND LBIAN WOMEN

” Although is possible that the e of the term “son” rather than “son--law” may fact obscure the gay partnership by placg emphasis away om the marker of gayns, G and Andrew both unrstand the e of this language private and public settgs as clive. Fdgs enhance an unrstandg of tergeneratnal relatnships three central, this study extends prev rearch by articulatg how the tergeneratnal ti of unrstudied group—gay men and lbian women—n be clearly nceptualized wh, and ntribute to, the solidary–nflict amework (Clarke et al., 1999; Silverste, Chen, & Heller, 1996). Beg tegrated to fay life through associatnal and normative solidary ways siar to all other adult children appears to be central evince of parents’ supportivens, likely bee, as Wton suggts, “self-intified lbians and gay men experience rejectn as an ever-prent possibily stctured by claimg a stigmatized sexual inty” (1991, p.

The fdgs prented on solidary unter prev rearch suggtg the gay or lbian adult child–parent tie is characterized by low levels of support (Dewaele et al., 2011; LaSala, 2001), where rponnts this study scribe at least one parent/-law as beg supportive the specific ways. Third, fdgs om this study provi sight to specific agg procs and life urse events that stcture and shift articulatns of solidary, nflict, and ambivalence midlife to later life gay men and lbians’ tergeneratnal ti (Elr, Johnson, & Crosnoe, 2003; Umberson, Pudrovska, & Reczek, 2010). Fdgs provi clear evince of the ways support, stra, and ambivalence are terpreted by gay men and lbian women, facilatg a new lens to view adult tergeneratnal relatnships wh both solidary–nflict and ambivalence paradigms (Averett & Jenks, 2012; Grossman et al., 2000; Solomon et al., 2004).

THE INTERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIPS OF GAY MEN AND LBIAN WOMEN

Dimensns of stra, support, and ambivalence may have important nsequenc for the well-beg of both gay and lbian adult children and their agg parents (Birdt et al., 2010; Fgerman, Cheng, Birdt, & Zar, 2012; Ward, 2008), and this study lays cril groundwork for future rearch to addrs the possibili. Through this rehed unrstandg, we exame parative s that scribe the bgraphi, general behavrs, and generatnal loc of four well-known gay men as a means to explore how dividuals born a particular birth generatn may experience vastly different experienc life due to the LGBTQ + generatn wh which they intify.

This parison provis a basis for better unrstandg broar societal forc that shape the evolutn of gay neighborhoods throughout the twentieth century and to the twenty-first century along wh observatns about the perceived cle or plate of gay neighborhoods. Explorg LGBTQ+ Generatns: Through the Ey of Warhol, Vidal, Capote & HudsonExamg the liv of celebri and well-known LGBTQ + dividuals offers a lens to summarize and illtrate typil behavrs and attus that have been formative shapg gay culture and the LGBTQ+ llective inty. In this se, the disntuy between the birth generatn to which each man belonged and the perd durg which their g of age wh regard to their LGBTQ+ inty occurred was shaped not only by the valu, behavrs, and mor of their birth generatn but also overlaid by the generatn to which they “me of age” as a gay man and a member of the LGBTQ+  muny.

UNRSTANDG GENERATN GAPS LGBTQ+ COMMUNI: PERSPECTIV ABOUT GAY NEIGHBORHOODS AMONG HETERONORMATIVE AND HOMONORMATIVE GENERATNAL COHORTS

His g of age occurred early life, which plac his behavr, the outward exprsn of genr inty, and sexual orientatn a much more ntemporary timeame closer behavr to a member of Generatn X (people born about fifty years after Capote) ntrast, Vidal did not publicly acknowledge his sexual orientatn or genr exprsn, and much later life vaguely intified first as bisexual (1999), and later as homosexual (Kaplan 2013). Their behavrs, outward exprsn of genr, and gree of fort wh intifyg as LGBTQ + varied pendg more on their LGBTQ + generatn than their birth wh Capote, Vidal, and Hudson, a sire or lack of sire to ngregate and be associated wh other LGBTQ + dividuals public impacted the emergence and subsequent velopment of gay neighborhoods. The plexy of his g of age a time when homosexualy was illegal, mixed wh his fascatn wh celebry and outlandishns, sparked a cursy Warhol that helped to shape and support the culture of gay neighborhoods New York Cy the 1960s through the 1980s as clive and creative spac.

He provid for his followers and for succsive generatns of LGBTQ+ people a type of eedom that he himself seemed reluctant to Homonormative Saeculum and the Events that Shaped a Century of LGBTQ+ CultureThe experience for LGBTQ + people—amed by the unrstandg and treatment of LGBTQ+ dividuals reflected the valu of mastream society—is often que different om that of non LGBTQ+ people. We propose appendg the heteronormative generatnal nam popularized by Strss and Howe to better rporate LGBTQ+ experienc as follows:The Silent Generatn —or the “Closeted Generatn”—gay men me of age jt before, durg, and immediately after World War II and lived a world which there was tense social prsure to nform to genr stereotyp.