Why do gay upl e the terms ‘hband’ and ‘wife,’ rather than ‘partner’? - The Washgton Post

Contents:

• WHY DO GAY UPL E THE TERMS ‘HBAND’ AND ‘WIFE,’ RATHER THAN ‘PARTNER’?
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• MY GAY HBAND
• IS IT GAY HBAND? LBIAN WIFE? OR WHAT?
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
• MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

WHY DO GAY UPL E THE TERMS ‘HBAND’ AND ‘WIFE,’ RATHER THAN ‘PARTNER’?

Dear Civili: My wife (female) and I are supporters of gay marriage, but we are puzzled about gay upl g the terms “wife” and “hband.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

(Still, I uldn’t help but notice that the boyiend of Michael Sam, the first openly gay football player to be drafted by an NFL team, was rrectly lled out by some as Sam’s “wife” and “trophy wife” on social media, highlightg the tradnal stereotyp of “hband/wife” rol.

A gay man, engaged to his fiance, spoke for many on my Facebook page when he posted this rponse to your qutn: “When we marry I will ll him my hband bee he will be, and I will be his.

” In short, once legally wed, spo — whether straight or gay — have earned the tl “hbands” and “wiv.

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

” That don’t mean that every gay or lbian uple will embrace those terms, jt as some oppose-sex upl prefer partner or spoe spe their legal stat.

Take a look at this lovely vio of a young boy talkg to his newly married gay dad. Every other week, Steven Petrow, the thor of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lbian Manners, ” addrs qutns about LGBT and straight etiquette his new lumn, Civili.

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay? " Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.

If a hband is gay, n vastate not only the relatnship but the straight wife as well. Signs of a Gay Hband – Is My Man Gay?

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

The cleart way to know if your hband is gay is if he tells you. If the hband is hont wh both you and wh himself (read: How Do I Know If I Am Gay?

Signs You Are Gay), that is when you n tly know that he is gay.

Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own. In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved.

MY GAY HBAND

But if you're wonrg, "Is my man gay, " might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, acrdg to Kaye. Kaye has veloped the Official Gay Hband Checklist to help women know if their hbands are gay. Signs Your Hband or Man May Be Gay.

You fd pop-ups of gay pornography on the puter while he claims they are not his.

IS IT GAY HBAND? LBIAN WIFE? OR WHAT?

He adms to havg a homosexual enunter the past. He viss gay bars claimg he's there only to hang out wh his gay iend(s).

He watch porno movi wh gay male scen.

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

He mak ntual homophobic ments or he mak too many gay ments nversatns.

MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

His ego appears to be boosted by pliments om gay men.

The signs a hband is gay are not meant to be five. A hband may be gay and display none of those signs or a hband may display the signs and not be gay. The signs of a gay hband are signed as a startg pot.

Kaye advis that women "follow their stcts" when cidg whether their hband may be gay. What If My Hband is Gay?