Gay and Can't Fd a Partner? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN
• KEV SPACEY: I N’T TELL WHETHER MEN ARE GAY JT BY LOOKG AT THEM
• LETTG GAY MEN DONATE BLOOD COULD HELP SOLVE A MAJOR HEALTH CRISIS
• BANNED FOR LIFE: WHY GAY MEN STILL N'T DONATE BLOOD
• GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• THGS GAY PEOPLE CAN'T DO
• AS FLORIDA'S 'DON'T SAY GAY' LAW TAK EFFECT, SCHOOLS ROLL OUT LGBTQ RTRICTNS
• UGANDA'S LGBTQ MUNY IS ' SHOCK' OVER NEW MEASURE, GAY ACTIVIST SAYS
• AM I GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

Osr-wng actor Kev Spacey has said he is attracted to mascule men but is not able to tell whether someone is gay jt by lookg at cross-examatn durg his trial on sex abe charg, the Hollywood star nied he was a “sexual bully” and told the jury he did not have a “power wand” to make people want to sleep wh about his sexual preferenc, Mr Spacey said he had prevly had romantic enunters wh men who would not scribe themselv as homosexual.

KEV SPACEY: I N’T TELL WHETHER MEN ARE GAY JT BY LOOKG AT THEM

But there is one easily implementable solutn to the natnal blood-supply shortage that’s been available for years and uld be a lifele: allowg gay and bisexual men to donate eely. S., gay and bisexual men (often referred to as MSM, or “men who have sex wh men”) are not allowed to give blood if they’ve had sex wh another man the past three months.

“It is my opn that we ntue to have a real problem wh laws and regulatns based on fear rather than science, ” she ntuatn of a MSM-specific barrier to givg is not only limg the blood supply, ’s unnecsary and “rooted homophobia, ” explas Perry N. ”In 2015, theFDA loosened s rtrictn, permtg gay and bisexual men to donate blood as long as they hadn’t had sex wh another man the past year.

Conducted tanm wh the natn’s largt blood centers—the Amerin Red Cross, Valant, and OneBlood—the rearch effort will survey 2, 000 gay and bisexual men across the untry between the ag of 18 and 30 who have had sex wh at least one man the past three months. ”The policy change uld have a signifint posive effect on the mental health of gay and bisexual men, too. “Social and stctural factors that e gay men to feel othered e them to engage risky sexual behavr, ” Halkis says.

LETTG GAY MEN DONATE BLOOD COULD HELP SOLVE A MAJOR HEALTH CRISIS

So a ban like this isn’t jt harmful to the Amerin public; “’s credibly harmful to the gay muny, both emotnally and physilly. The first step is to sign GLAAD’s petn at You then n—and should—te those around you, “sce many people, cludg gay and bi men, don’t know that this ban exists, ” adds Lasky. Let them know you don’t support discrimatory practic that ban gay and bisexual men om dog their civic duty.

"Chip Somovilla / Getty ImagLike lns of other gay men, Dassey ed to give blood a few tim a year whout a send thought. " The FDA classifi all gay men the hight-risk blood-donor tegory -- the same tegory as IV dg ers and people who've spent more than five years sce 1980 a untry that has mad w disease.

Even wh a clean bill of health, a gay man is nsired more of a threat to the blood supply than a straight man who was treated for chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, venereal warts, and genal herp wh the past year.

BANNED FOR LIFE: WHY GAY MEN STILL N'T DONATE BLOOD

The FDA, other words, nsirs the sort of man who pays women for sex to be healthier -- and his blood ls of a risk to you -- than a man who last had sex wh another man 30 years 's bee gay men, the FDA argu, are at "creased risk of certa transfn transmissible fectns" like AIDS and hepatis B. And that argument isn't necsarily whout mer: Gay men make up roughly half of the patients livg wh HIV the Uned Stat, spe acuntg for jt four percent of the populatn. Prsured to take actn, the FDA did the only thg possible and banned the group of people most likely to spread the vis: sexually active gay men.

In addn to the Uned Stat, several other untri still have lifetime bans agast gay blood donors place, cludg France, Germany, Swzerland, Norway, and Denmark. More recently, however, other parts of the world have started to rensir the policy's and Spa, for example, no longer specifilly exclu gay men. At the time, all hospals bed need about 80, 000 uns of blood daily, but the Red Cross uld liver only 36, banks have managed to close the gap sce then, but they still ntue to advote on behalf of gay donors.

GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?

"The FDA's lifetime blood donor ferral affectg gay men vlat our nondiscrimatn policy, " Kassg wrote a memo to the mp that momentum has only ntued to build.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

"I started givg blood llege, and I didn't e out as a gay man until I was 39, " says Bill S., a donor om Philalphia who spoke to Men's Health anonymoly.

"More importantly, as an overwhelmg body of evince now suggts, n save liv whout endangerg Emmy Derisbn, the woman who spired the Banned4Life movement, put , "I'll never ask, 'Is that gay blood?

THGS GAY PEOPLE CAN'T DO

(Genis 1:​27, 28; Levic 18:22; Proverbs 5:​18, 19) The Bible nmns sexual activy that is not between a hband and wife, whether is homosexual or heterosexual nduct.

AS FLORIDA'S 'DON'T SAY GAY' LAW TAK EFFECT, SCHOOLS ROLL OUT LGBTQ RTRICTNS

The Bible don’t ment directly on the blogy of homosexual sir, though acknowledg that we are all born wh a tenncy to go agast what God mands. (Romans 7:​21-​25) Rather than foc on the e of homosexual sir, however, the Bible prohibs homosexual acts.

UGANDA'S LGBTQ MUNY IS ' SHOCK' OVER NEW MEASURE, GAY ACTIVIST SAYS

OK, so, you’re gay, and you want to fd a partner and eventually a hband; someone wh whom to share your life.

AM I GAY?

As an openly gay man wh over 30 years of experience as a therapist, I have seen sr of sgle gay men sabotage their efforts to fd a partner, placg obstacl their own path—whout havg the slightt ia as to what they are dog and why. Fortunately, I have also learned how to intify and name the self-featg and often hidn hurdl—and have disvered that they are beliefs that too many gay men repeat to themselv, often whout even knowg .

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

In my experience, this ternalized belief is the poison that prevents some gay men om buildg a healthy relatnship, and also why many ms up the on they already have.

Some of have been bullied as children; physilly, verbally, and emotnally abed at tenr ag by our peers and fay members for beg gay before we even regnized and unrstood our same-sex attractns. Sadly, the wounds are difficult to heal, and as a rult, n leave gay men wh the sense that we are unlovable and th unworthy of love, affectn, and happs.