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nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--cm-riser" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--cm-riser"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="adslot adslot--hero" data-no-id="bocxx7"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH pagema-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear articlentent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">LGBTQ</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">The Pros of Beg an Open Relatnship</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hearaccredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">One gay uple om Atlanta shar how, and why, they ma work.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss bylepreamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx bylename-lk button" href="/ntributor/nick-leve">Nick Leve</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2018-03-09T08:00:00-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">March 9, 2018</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hearsocial-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-inslist"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-assetntentphoto"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Image may nta Animal and Bird" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptncred">Illtratn by Lorenzo Grti</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-inslist"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-bodyntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="bodyner-ntaer"><p>We're tght om a young age that a "regular" relatnship volv a man and a woman enjoyg a monogamo bond. As LGBTQ people grow up and get to grips wh their sexualy and genr inty, they learn to reject this heteronormative nstct of what a relatnship should look like. But the ia that our "soulmate" is someone we should be pletely fahful to, 100 percent of the time, n be trickier to shake off.</p><p>When I me out at 18, I'd never have thought an open relatnship uld be right for me. Now, after 15 years of boyiends and break-ups, I know 's a nversatn I'd want to have wh any potential partner. I've always been fascated by the different ways which people, often queer people, n tailor a relatnship to make work for them. And yet, open relatnships are still tated by an unfair and often ill-rmed stigma. Some people say they're ls stable, ls mted, and even ls lovg.</p><p>Here, a gay uple om Atlanta—23-year-old Tyler and 31-year-old Mark—share the story of their open relatnship. There's no right or wrong way to have an open relatnship, but Tyler and Mark have created one which mak both of them very happy.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p><strong>Tyler:</strong><br/>I met Mark on Grdr—he was the "visg top" town on a work trip. We spent the night together and hung out the next day, but then he had to fly home. A uple days later, he lled me and said, "I n't stop thkg about you." I thk we clicked bee we were both gettg out of unsatisfyg relatnships. I'd been datg a closeted nservative pastor's kid, so I always felt like I was towg the le between "out" and "not out." Mark and I started chattg on the phone or FaceTimg, like, every available mute, but at first we weren't mted to one another. We'd gladly talk about guys we were datg or sleepg wh.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-unslot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>We vised each other a few tim, and after about six months I packed up my stuff and drove om my hometown, Spokane, to live wh Mark Fort Lrdale, Florida. We beme monogamo as soon as I moved , but after about a year, we realized that I'd kd of serted myself to Mark's life and didn't have many iends of my own. We download all the datg apps aga and started engagg threome-type suatns. But the end game was ls about sex, and more about makg new iends on a more timate level.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="adslot adslot---ntent" data-no-id="wq89br"></div></div><p>A few months later we moved to Atlanta, and Mark started travelg wh work more often. One night, we were different ci and both of end up meetg a guy we found attractive. We both wanted to take thgs to the next level sexually, but knew we uldn't. So I end up gog to the bathroom and reachg out to Mark via text. He said to me, "Let's both jt do ."</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>After that we sat down and set the parameters of our open relatnship. "No sleepovers" is probably our number one le—Mark n't have someone stay over his hotel room; I n't have a guy stay over our loft. I jt thk uld lead to a level of timacy that would make me feel unfortable. For , 's not about replacg your partner; 's about havg a new experience that your partner n't necsarily fulfill. And I thk that's partly bee of the age difference. I'm 23 and only me out three years ago, so I'm relatively young my sexualy. Mark is 31 and has been sexually active sce he was 15, so he already has a range of sexual experienc and stori to tell.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="iffna4"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="RowWrapper" class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="adslot adslot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="c80s5f"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="bodyner-ntaer"><p>We're very ank about our open relatnship on Grdr and people n be nasty. They say thgs like, "If you were happy, you wouldn't be here." But beg an open relatnship isn't "selfish" or "slutty." We're love, we're happy and nfint, and we have total honty—munitn really is the key our open relatnship. And sounds chey to say, but when 's jt the two of , we still have the kd of passnate sex we had on our first date.</p><p><strong>Mark:</strong><br/>Bee we'd kd of started off a long-distance open relatnship, felt like a natural segue to go open aga. Before I met Tyler, I was married for six years and end bee my ex-hband cheated on me multiple tim, which led to so much jealoy and negativy. I feel like part of the reason Tyler and I have this open relatnship is to stop jealoy om havg a seat at the table. We often share pictur of guys we meet on solo adventur, but Tyler's go-to type is a ltle different om me, so there's never really any fear of missg out.</p><p>Straight people jt have a really tough time unrstandg how all works. I thk my mom sort of knows we have an "arrangement," but she don't need to know the nty-grty tails. I mean, if I were sgle I wouldn't be textg her sayg, "Mom, you won't believe this super-sexy guy I met last night—and he had a giant dick, too!”</p><p>I'd say most gay upl we know are an open relatnship. But Tyler gets asked about more on Grdr, and I thk 's bee of his age. Back when I was younger, the ia of havg an open relatnship didn't even cross my md. When you grow up gay, you try to nform to straight norms so you n "normalize" yourself, and part of that is picturg yourself a tradnal monogamo relatnship. But as you get olr, you open your ey to other kds of relatnship. Bee I'm clearly a ltle olr, I don't thk a 20-year-old twk would be darg enough to msage me wh some of the sh that Tyler gets.</p><p>I n't really image ever gog back to a closed relatnship. For me, 's an important release and a remr of my mment to Tyler. No matter how much I have mon wh another guy, or how great the sex is, I always have more fun wh Tyler.</p><p>I thk if both people a relatnship n look at the hottt guy on Grdr and say, "You know what, I'd rather be at home on the uch watchg the worst YouTube vio wh you," you n make the open thg work. But if there's a ht of jealoy your relatnship already, tread lightly. Don't try to force an open relatnship. If don't happen naturally, I don't thk 's ever gog to feel right.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="hdxm57"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="body bodyle-barrier articlebody"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div 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gay open relationship forum

27 Dec 2024

As a upl unselor workg wh gay men, I am often asked my opn on monogamy and open gay relatnships.

A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE

Lookg for support wh gay open relatnships or monogamy? Our LGBTQ therapists are nonjudgmental about whatever relatnship stcture you choose. * gay open relationship forum *

Which Ik is a mon thg for gay men and I rpect his cisn. So after talkg and him sayg he’d be fe wh ( which I uld tell he was jt tryg to be brave for me and wasn’t totally fe wh ) I download a gay hook up app and started chattg to guys. Go to gaybros.

r/gaybros. Gaybros is a work built for gay men who aren't nfed to a media stereotype.

Me and my fiancee are about to get married soon and he is by im gay.... I've noticed that onle a very ntent topic gay circl is open relatnships or ethil non-monogamy general. Like most relatnships straight or gay are bound to fail.

GAY MEN OPEN RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?

A support and discsn fom for olr members who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr etc. * gay open relationship forum *

I unrstand hyperbole however there's still plenty of gay men who are monogamo. for gay upl?

How do queer men navigate an stutn not signed for them? Therapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers clu his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. Check out an exclive excerpt below. * gay open relationship forum *

Why Choose The Gay Therapy Center? A support and discsn fom for olr members who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr etc. Tom is a psychotherapist and upl unselor at the Gay Therapy Center San Francis.

Whether married or not, many gay relatnships beg to "open up" after the first few years. In the book, we'll follow two upl as they explore how to handle the sire for sex outsi their gay upl do want monogamy.

A nversatn about open and monogamo marriage, for gay men and for all. * gay open relationship forum *

Many of my upled gay clients, havg examed tradnal heterosexual marriage-based relatnships, fd them lackg. While this is a ntroversial issue, 's also an opportuny for as married or potentially-married gay men to be social pneers and make our own way. And I'm not jt talkg about sex my years of workg wh upl, I've noticed that gay upl typilly experience two challeng more tensely than do oppose-sex or lbian upl: petn and nflict.

But, too much petn leads to nflict, and nflict a double ttosterone marriage n easily lead to arguments that late out of ntrol both verbally and the other end of the ttosterone spectm, I've noticed that creasg ttosterone levels are often related to lower levels of sexual satisfactn (and more open relatnships) gay upl their forti and fifti. If sex has been a major rnerstone of our marriag/relatnships and we h an age where our sexual sir and libido take a dive, we may hope that openg up our relatnship will be jt the panacea we're lookg be blunt -- ttosterone n make too horny when we're younger (creatg trouble marriag), and too disterted sex when we're marriage has been a long time g -- a few thoand years or so -- and now that 's fally here, many gay, bisexual and transgenr men may thk that 's a bad ia to "rock the boat" by discsg the kds of ias that this book prents. I believe that now is the perfect time to qutn what gay marriage n, should and will be, while is still relatively new, h and the double ttosterone marriage, "monogamy or open relatnship?

* gay open relationship forum *

Excerpted om Michael Dale Kimmel's The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage, released this month by Rowman & Ltlefield. Is Latent Homosexualy a Thg?

As assiatn to more mastream culture creas, many gay men are shiftg their attus on non-tradnal relatnships—beg ls acceptg of them. * gay open relationship forum *

I had the opportuny to talk wh psychotherapist and thor Michael Dale Kimmel about his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. MOC: Tell me about The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. MDK: I began offerg workshops for gay, bisexual, and transgenr men about eighteen years’ ago, and after a uple of years there were always a few guys who me up to me and said ( whispered ton), “You’ve got to put this stuff a book.

While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay weddg, there were virtually none that addrs what to do after the honeymoon is over (lerally and figuratively). ” — regard to gay marriage — to be ntroversial.

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM GAY OPEN RELATIONSHIP FORUM

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tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">LGBTQ</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">The Pros of Beg an Open Relatnship</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">One gay uple om Atlanta shar how, and why, they ma work.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/nick-leve">Nick Leve</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2018-03-09T08:00:00-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">March 9, 2018</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Image may nta Animal and Bird" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">Illtratn by Lorenzo Grti</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>We're tght om a young age that a "regular" relatnship volv a man and a woman enjoyg a monogamo bond. As LGBTQ people grow up and get to grips wh their sexualy and genr inty, they learn to reject this heteronormative nstct of what a relatnship should look like. But the ia that our "soulmate" is someone we should be pletely fahful to, 100 percent of the time, n be trickier to shake off.</p><p>When I me out at 18, I'd never have thought an open relatnship uld be right for me. Now, after 15 years of boyiends and break-ups, I know 's a nversatn I'd want to have wh any potential partner. I've always been fascated by the different ways which people, often queer people, n tailor a relatnship to make work for them. And yet, open relatnships are still tated by an unfair and often ill-rmed stigma. Some people say they're ls stable, ls mted, and even ls lovg.</p><p>Here, a gay uple om Atlanta—23-year-old Tyler and 31-year-old Mark—share the story of their open relatnship. There's no right or wrong way to have an open relatnship, but Tyler and Mark have created one which mak both of them very happy.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p><strong>Tyler:</strong><br/>I met Mark on Grdr—he was the "visg top" town on a work trip. We spent the night together and hung out the next day, but then he had to fly home. A uple days later, he lled me and said, "I n't stop thkg about you." I thk we clicked bee we were both gettg out of unsatisfyg relatnships. I'd been datg a closeted nservative pastor's kid, so I always felt like I was towg the le between "out" and "not out." Mark and I started chattg on the phone or FaceTimg, like, every available mute, but at first we weren't mted to one another. We'd gladly talk about guys we were datg or sleepg wh.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>We vised each other a few tim, and after about six months I packed up my stuff and drove om my hometown, Spokane, to live wh Mark Fort Lrdale, Florida. We beme monogamo as soon as I moved , but after about a year, we realized that I'd kd of serted myself to Mark's life and didn't have many iends of my own. We download all the datg apps aga and started engagg threome-type suatns. But the end game was ls about sex, and more about makg new iends on a more timate level.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="wq89br"></div></div><p>A few months later we moved to Atlanta, and Mark started travelg wh work more often. One night, we were different ci and both of end up meetg a guy we found attractive. We both wanted to take thgs to the next level sexually, but knew we uldn't. So I end up gog to the bathroom and reachg out to Mark via text. He said to me, "Let's both jt do ."</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>After that we sat down and set the parameters of our open relatnship. "No sleepovers" is probably our number one le—Mark n't have someone stay over his hotel room; I n't have a guy stay over our loft. I jt thk uld lead to a level of timacy that would make me feel unfortable. For , 's not about replacg your partner; 's about havg a new experience that your partner n't necsarily fulfill. And I thk that's partly bee of the age difference. I'm 23 and only me out three years ago, so I'm relatively young my sexualy. Mark is 31 and has been sexually active sce he was 15, so he already has a range of sexual experienc and stori to tell.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="iffna4"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="RowWrapper" class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="c80s5f"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>We're very ank about our open relatnship on Grdr and people n be nasty. They say thgs like, "If you were happy, you wouldn't be here." But beg an open relatnship isn't "selfish" or "slutty." We're love, we're happy and nfint, and we have total honty—munitn really is the key our open relatnship. And sounds chey to say, but when 's jt the two of , we still have the kd of passnate sex we had on our first date.</p><p><strong>Mark:</strong><br/>Bee we'd kd of started off a long-distance open relatnship, felt like a natural segue to go open aga. Before I met Tyler, I was married for six years and end bee my ex-hband cheated on me multiple tim, which led to so much jealoy and negativy. I feel like part of the reason Tyler and I have this open relatnship is to stop jealoy om havg a seat at the table. We often share pictur of guys we meet on solo adventur, but Tyler's go-to type is a ltle different om me, so there's never really any fear of missg out.</p><p>Straight people jt have a really tough time unrstandg how all works. I thk my mom sort of knows we have an "arrangement," but she don't need to know the nty-grty tails. I mean, if I were sgle I wouldn't be textg her sayg, "Mom, you won't believe this super-sexy guy I met last night—and he had a giant dick, too!”</p><p>I'd say most gay upl we know are an open relatnship. But Tyler gets asked about more on Grdr, and I thk 's bee of his age. Back when I was younger, the ia of havg an open relatnship didn't even cross my md. When you grow up gay, you try to nform to straight norms so you n "normalize" yourself, and part of that is picturg yourself a tradnal monogamo relatnship. But as you get olr, you open your ey to other kds of relatnship. Bee I'm clearly a ltle olr, I don't thk a 20-year-old twk would be darg enough to msage me wh some of the sh that Tyler gets.</p><p>I n't really image ever gog back to a closed relatnship. For me, 's an important release and a remr of my mment to Tyler. No matter how much I have mon wh another guy, or how great the sex is, I always have more fun wh Tyler.</p><p>I thk if both people a relatnship n look at the hottt guy on Grdr and say, "You know what, I'd rather be at home on the uch watchg the worst YouTube vio wh you," you n make the open thg work. But if there's a ht of jealoy your relatnship already, tread lightly. Don't try to force an open relatnship. If don't happen naturally, I don't thk 's ever gog to feel right.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="hdxm57"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div data-ttid="RowWrapper" class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK 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A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE

GAY MEN OPEN RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM GAY OPEN RELATIONSHIP FORUM

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A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE

GAY MEN OPEN RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY OPEN RELATIONSHIP FORUM

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM GAY OPEN RELATIONSHIP FORUM