He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay.
Contents:
- I'M AAID THAT I'M GAY
- 17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
- AM I NVCG MYSELF THAT I'M GAY!??
- HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
- WORRIED I MIGHT BE GAY
- I’M MALE AND I AM AAID THAT I MIGHT BE GAY
- YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
- WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
- AM I GAY?
- 'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY
- IS MY BOYIEND GAY? OR IS IT MY ANXIETY?
I'M AAID THAT I'M GAY
* im worried im gay *
However, what I am ncerned about is that he is g me as a steppg stone to acknowledgg to himself that he is gay, or that he wants to be a heterosexual relatnship orr to reap the social benefs (havg kids, generally beg accepted society, etc. I’m worried bee (a) he’s never been wh a man before and beg wh me means he won't get that experience (assumg he don't cheat) and (b) he om an extremely relig fay the South who would likely not be able to accept his homosexualy (or even bisexualy). I'm worried that we will spend years together, possibly get married, have kids, and then he will e to grips that he is fact actually gay.
I have a very strong sneakg spicn that he’s bidg his time until his parents die or until he cis that he's gog to e out to them as I stay wh him and thk about a future, knowg full well that he uld tell me one day that he's actually gay and wants to be wh a man, or that he wants to transn, and leave me wh a bunch of baggage, such as gettg a divorce (sharg ctody of kids, fanc), and time/energy/effort lost? After all, most heterosexual guys have no tert watchg any porn unls there’s a woman your boyiend is tryg to hi his sexualy om you, ’s doubtful that he’ll openly watch gay porn while you’re around. The only way you’ll know is to look at his search history, which is a pretty big vasn of his do he react if you offer to watch gay porn wh him?
He’s been wh men beforeIf he’s been relatnships or hooked up wh men the past, ’s a pretty big ditor that he’s gay or bisexual. ”If you hear this kd of ment a lot, he might be attemptg to normalize his homosexual thoughts by makg them seem like nothg more than a joke. It’s a way of flectg spicn off of themselv and makg seem like they uld never be terted other to the way your boyiend talks about homosexualy.
17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
If you're readg this, there's a good chance you thk your boyiend might be gay. No doubt you're also feelg pretty nfed and wonrg how to al wh the suatn. It's a very sensive suatn to al wh, and you need to make sure you rpect his feelgs. But at the same time, you n't * im worried im gay *
If so, might be bee he’s secretly stgglg wh his own urse, there are plenty of heterosexual guys who e homophobic language as well.
He’s not terted sleepg wh youThere are lots of reasons why your boyiend might not want to have sex that don’t volve him beg secretly gay.
His fantasi volve menA of heterosexual men have sexual fantasi volvg other men, and don’t mean they are gay. So if your boyiend has a lot of gay iends, uld be bee he’s subnscly tryg to surround himself wh people like urse, plenty of straight guys have gay iends as well. But if seems like the majory of his social circle is gay, uld be a sign that he’s stgglg wh his own sexualy.
AM I NVCG MYSELF THAT I'M GAY!??
I feel as if there's no way I'm not gay anymore. There's jt this absolute scery I feel. But when I take a look back ... * im worried im gay *
He has a gay datg app on his phoneEven if he hasn’t actually ed the app to hook up wh guys, he’s obvly cur and may be thkg about dog so the future. Keep md that havg a datg app on his phone don’t mean he’s cheatg on you, but you serve to know if he’s actively lookg for other signs your boyiend is gayIt’s jt as important to unrstand all the signals that uld mistakenly lead you to believe your boyiend is gay.
He sounds gayYou might have heard that gay men often speak wh a lisp, but this stereotype is pletely unte. If your boyiend cri durg sad movi or gets upset about issu that are important to him, don’t mean he’s gay.
HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
I guys I'm sred I might be turng gay. I've always liked and been sexually attracted to girls my entire life but the last few months I've begun to thk I might be gay. It started when I began to... * im worried im gay *
He uld jt be touch wh his to do if you thk your boyiend is gayOkay, so you’ve noticed some of the signs that your boyiend might be gay. It’s possible he’s been wantg to have this nversatn wh you but hasn’t had the urage to brg though you may have seen many of the behavrs on this list, don’t throw them his face as a list of ‘evince’ that he’s secretly gay. Don’t prsure himWhether your boyiend is gay, straight, or somethg between, he’ll need time to procs his feelgs.
If your boyiend adms he’s gay, will be a difficult time for both of you and there’s no gettg past the fact that your relatnship is over. Some people even fall to the trap of thkg they were such a bad partner they somehow ‘turned’ their partner gay. Move on wh your lifeBreakups are always tough, but fdg out your boyiend is gay is a particularly difficult suatn.
It’s really no different om a heterosexual guy havg a preference for blons over big mistake you need to avoid is thkg that he’s still nfed or explorg his sexualy and will eventually e out as beg gay. I jt feel so nfed bee logil facts pot to a no, but I'm CONVINCED that I'm gay and I jt don't know why I'm feelg this way right now. In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all.
WORRIED I MIGHT BE GAY
I have for the last few years been very aaid that I may be gay. Deep down, I want to watch my wife have my children and have a really close relatn... * im worried im gay *
If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight. ” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight). Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng.
I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt. Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg. Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight.
Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person. Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to. If I get sexual sensatns when viewg sexual material of an oppose orientatn do mean I am gay (or straight)?
I’M MALE AND I AM AAID THAT I MIGHT BE GAY
So at school, people have been askg me if I'm Gay, and i thk s bee I haven't exprsed any tert romance at all what should I do? * im worried im gay *
Avoidg standg close to, touchg or bshg agast members of the same sex (or oppose sex if the sufferer is gay). Not readg or lookg at vios news reports books or articl havg anythg to do wh gay people or other sexual subjects.
Tryg to not look or act effemately (if a man), or a mascule way (if a woman), (or vice versa if the sufferer is gay).
Not drsg ways that would make one look effemate (if a man), or mascule (if a woman), (aga vice versa if the sufferer is gay). Avoidg associatg wh anyone who may be gay or who seems to lean that directn (if the sufferer is heterosexual).
YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * im worried im gay *
The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight). Dog a seri of wrg assignments of a uple of pag each that suggt more and more that you actually are gay or wish to be. Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you).
Avoid observg yourself to see if you behaved a way you image a homosexual or member of the oppose sex would. Whether you are gay or straight, you will be aware if other guys or girls are attractive (jt listen to some gay guys talk about the way some women look).
It sounds to me more like you are worried more about the thought of beg gay than really havg same-sex attractn. However, at the surface, I fantasise over homosexual sex and many people believe that I am gay, and exprs those opns – and have done for longer than I n remember. People fd me funny and ‘sweet’ and I n’t really thk of anyone who I don’t get on wh, however people still assume I’m gay even though I ask out many women, and show affectn to women.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
I don’t want to be gay, as I said, ep down I am ashamed of the way I feel, I still feel as though is not normal, which may have origated om my parents views.
I don’t know what to do, I’m ightened that I will be gay, and am tryg to fight off, as though were an chy jacket! Whichever way thg turn out, please bear md that there are lns and lns of very happy gay people the world.
The other thg to remember is that vast numbers of so lled heterosexual men and women have gay fantasi - but they choose never to do anythg about them.
AM I GAY?
And then there are huge numbers of ostensibly heterosexual men this untry who marry happily and have children but who also like to fd exprsn gay love om time to time. So at school, people have been askg me if I'm Gay, and i thk s bee I haven't exprsed any tert romance at all what should I do? It really don't matter if people thk you're gay, after all you know the answer bee I uld image havg to expla "aromantic asexual" to them would be far harr than jt takg .
I had tsive thoughts that I managed to ignore but then I kept hearg random sounds after he left and turng my head to see if was him bee i was so "sred" om those thoughts that I didn't want to see him aga but now I'm worried that the glancg was gay.. In my practice, I sometim enunter men who are so obssively worried they may be gay or bisexual that tak up such a signifint amount of their daily life and thoughts and them nearly cripplg anxiety. ” He may worry that he appears to be gay if cross his legs at the knee like a woman when stg down rather than havg the typil “man spread.
'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY
Like those wh Obssive-Compulsive Disorr (OCD), he may exhib the same kd of repet behavrs, such as stg and standg over and over aga to see if they may appear gay the way he do . This may sound like ’s a set-up for a joke, or an ongog lgh le a s, but is a real disorr that some have labeled as Homosexual Obssive-Compulsive Disorr (HOCD), though the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs, the “bible” of psychiatry, has yet to regnize . HOCD n sudnly occur for some men who, for example, fd themselv beg h on by other gay or bisexual men, mistaken for beg a gay or bisexual man, fd themselv attracted to another man or stumble onto gay porn that exc them.
They will often blame the thgs as reasons for how the HOCD started, but isn’t about homosexualy nor bisexualy, is about OCD. In my own clil experience workg wh the men, those who suffer om this may fd themselv obssively lookg at porn, eher gay or straight, to see if they bee sexually exced by eher. They might nstantly check out others’ reactns to their gtur or nversatn to see if they get any strange looks or other signals that would imply homophobia.
They sometim will go to extreme lengths, such as havg sex wh men even though they are not gay or bisexual, which typilly leav them feelg unsatisfied and unfortable. Even though they have not been able to nfirm by their pulsive experimentatn that they are, ed, gay, they may even ask me to help them e out as gay or bisexual jt to end the sufferg.
IS MY BOYIEND GAY? OR IS IT MY ANXIETY?
I am a specialist sexual orientatn and relatnships and not traed to al wh OCD, so I first mt set out to terme if they are simply closeted gay or bisexual men, or if there is somethg else gog on.
Influenced by the heated atmosphere around sexual polics nowadays, and even the amount of media verage around LGBTQ issu, some gays argue that the g-out procs they went through much of the same nfn, and therefore believe that the HOCD person is simply experiencg the same thg. Theirs is a particular kd of trouble, one that will not be rolved by “g out of the closet” bee they tly are not gay or bisexual. There are some clil therapists, such as Monni Williams, thor of Homosexual Anxiety: A Misunrstood Form of OCD Leadg Health Edutn Issu, who may help brg more a ser nversatn of this disorr to the theraptic world.
As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.