Netflix's 'Pray Away' looks behd the curta of the 'ex-gay' movement

Contents:

• IS IT POSSIBLE TO PRAY THE GAY AWAY?
• ‘PRAY AWAY THE GAY’ HAS GONE AWAY. WHY ARE GOVERNMENTS TRYG TO STOP IT?
• NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' LOOKS BEHD THE CURTA OF THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT
• PRAY AWAY GO DEEP INTO THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT THAT BEGAN THE '70S
• 5 THGS I LEARNED AT A 'PRAY AWAY THE GAY' CAMP
• PRAYG THE GAY AWAY, ONE AWAY MSAGE AT A TIME
• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY
• CHURCH MEMBERS PNED DOWN A WORSHIPER AND TRIED TO ‘PRAY THE GAY AWAY,’ HE ALLEG
• ‘PRAY AWAY’ REVIEW: ATONG FOR AN ANTI-GAY STANCE
• PRAY THE GAY AWAY® THE MIL
• CAN CATHOLICS “PRAY AWAY THE GAY?”
• WHAT DO “PRAY THE GAY AWAY” MEAN?
• PRAY THE GAY AWAY
• JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU
• JAGS' MAXEN IS FIRST MALE AMERIN PRO SPORTS ACH TO E OUT AS GAY
• KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

IS IT POSSIBLE TO PRAY THE GAY AWAY?

The revelatns surroundg Marc Bachmann's psychotherapy practice along wh his statements equatg gay people to barbarians reflect the eply held view among too many people that homosexualy is a psychologil or moral choice that n be altered and ed should be. There are several nservative relig anizatns, like Exod Internatnal and Homosexuals Anonymo, that claim to have helped people change their sexual orientatn through prayer, unselg, or a batn of both. Moreover, there are licensed mental health profsnals who practice what are lled reparative or nversn therapi signed to make gay people heterosexual.

The bt-known group of such clicians is the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH), led by psychologist Joseph Nilosi. He and his followers claim that gays and lbians suffer om a damagg blend of childhood trma, shamg their fai of orig, and chronic unmet needs for love and affectn om their same-sex parents.

Reparative therapy supposedly helps gay clients bee heterosexual by workg wh them to amelrate toxic feelgs stemmg om their damaged childhoods. Robert Spzer, a proment psychiatrist who, oddly enough, led the charge to remove homosexualy as a disease om the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual, had unrtaken rearch wh 200 women and men who unrwent reparative therapy and believed themselv to be "cured" of homosexualy, as evinced by their abily to engage sexual relatns wh the oppose sex, marry heterosexually, and nceive children. In fact, there are many reports of people unrgog treatments offered by ex-gay mistri who not only return to homosexualy but have also been trmatized by this so-lled therapy.

‘PRAY AWAY THE GAY’ HAS GONE AWAY. WHY ARE GOVERNMENTS TRYG TO STOP IT?

It is important to regnize that the great majory of psychotherapy profsnals argue vociferoly that such "treatment" is uhil bee homosexualy is not an illns — rather the "illns" is our tolerance of sexual and genr behavrs fallg outsi rtrictive societal norms. I also tell clients that reparative and nversn therapi, bis beg effective, are psychologilly harmful to gays and lbians, which is another reason I do not remend them and will not assist clients procurg such treatment.

People like Marc and Michele Bachmann believe that acceptg and even celebratg gay and lbian people will evably lead to the moral cle of our society. Exod Internatnal, evangelilism’s flagship ex-gay mistry, shut down 2013 after former lear Alan Chambers said had ed pa and harm to too many people and that more than 99 percent of those who’d sought help there hadn’t actually experienced an orientatn change. While mistri cludg Exod Internatnal and Foc on the Fay ed to preach that homosexual sire should be elimated, most evangelil church, pastors, and mental health profsnals today emphasize chasty amid sir that might last a lifetime.

Even the Nashville Statement, a 14-pot manifto by the plementarian Council of Biblil Manhood and Womanhood, matas that homosexual sire may never change. When Amerin documentarian Kriste Stolakis set out to make her but feature film, she knew she wanted to she a light on the “ex-gay” movement, which nsists of those that believe a person’s genr inty or sexual orientatn n be changed. Really is a movement of hurt people hurtg other people, of what ternalized homophobia and transphobia looks like when is wield outward.

NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' LOOKS BEHD THE CURTA OF THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT

Shot before the Covid-19 panmic, the film chronicl the rise — and subsequent fall — of Exod Internatnal, a nversn therapy anizatn that, acrdg to the team behd the the film, began as a Bible study group the 1970s nsistg of five evangelil men who were lookg to help one another leave the “homosexual liftyle. But years after risg to stardom the relig right, many of the “ex-gay” lears, whose own same-sex attractns never went away, have sce e out as LGBTQ and disavowed the very movement that they helped to grow. Stolakis’ list of terviewe “Pray Away” clus Randy Thomas, the fal vice print of Exod Internatnal; Yvette Cantu Schneir, the former head of Exod’ women’s mistri; and John Plk, one of the most bt-known “ex-gay” people the world.

“Somethg my team and I talked about a lot makg this film is, this really is a movement of hurt people hurtg other people, of what ternalized homophobia and transphobia looks like when is wield outward, ” said Stolakis, whose other directorial creds clu “The Typist” and “Where We Stand.

PRAY AWAY GO DEEP INTO THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT THAT BEGAN THE '70S

”While many former lears have renounced and spoken out agast the “pray the gay away” movement, Stolakis said “the larger culture of homophobia and transphobia, ” particularly relig muni, has allowed the movement to ntue wh younger lears, even wh the dissolutn of Exod Internatnal 2013 and the legalizatn of same-sex marriage the U. Alone, nearly 700, 000 lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr adults have been subjected to some form of nversn therapy durg their lifetime, acrdg to a 2019 report om the Williams Instute at the UCLA School of Law.

”Wh “Pray Away” set to but more than 190 untri on Netflix this week, Stolakis wants to make one thg clear to every prospective viewer: The “ex-gay” movement was never led by jt “a uple of bad appl. ”“As long as that larger culture of homophobia and transphobia exists — be our church, any relig muny, our polil sphere or our culture — some versn of nversn therapy and the ex-LGBTQ movement will ntue, ” she explaed. The new Netflix documentary Pray Away exam the Exod "ex-gay" movement that was found the '70s by five men the evangelil church who sought to pray the gay word got out about the group that was seekg to ex the "homosexual liftyle, " the men received more than 25, 000 letters om folks hopg to do the same, and spurred the formatn of Exod Internatnal, the largt and most ntroversial nversn therapy anizatn the world, acrdg to the film's synopsis for the film om executive producers Ryan Murphy and Jason Blum reads:"But lears stggled wh a secret: their own 'same-sex attractns' never went away.

5 THGS I LEARNED AT A 'PRAY AWAY THE GAY' CAMP

Focg on the dramatic journeys of former nversn therapy lears, current members, and a survivor, Pray Away chronicl the 'ex gay' movement's rise to power, persistent fluence, and the profound harm .

"Wh my first weeks therapy, I was told every other gay person on Earth had been executed.... By the end of the so-lled 'treatments, ' I believed the ernment was lookg for me bee the gays had brought AIDS to Ameri and that I now had this disease ragg through me. " That is, they assumed that bee he was gay, 's bee his ntrollg mother and adbeat dad had nfed and irreparably trmatized his genals.

PRAYG THE GAY AWAY, ONE AWAY MSAGE AT A TIME

Later ssns would clu pper heatg ils, needl my fgers, and electric shocks, " all while Sam was shown gay porn. Antos777/iStock/Getty Imag Of urse, no one explaed why they had a stockpile of gay porn on hand.

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

In fact, he got so ed to reprsg his te self that, even after he me out, he wasn't entirely sure how to be: When he got to llege and first enuntered the gay muny, he immediately "me out a ball of glter.

" He embraced a sparkly, Freddy Mercury-stage-show-liftyle bee he saw a bunch of out-and-proud homosexuals and thought that was how was done. "I'm very flamboyant, and that's partly bee of how I was troduced to the ia of other gay men existg....

I found out what a gay person looked like, and realized that was how I was supposed to act. Go to a hardware store on the day of the gay pri para and you might hear an old du wh a beer gut lament, "Why do them gays have to be so flamboyant?

CHURCH MEMBERS PNED DOWN A WORSHIPER AND TRIED TO ‘PRAY THE GAY AWAY,’ HE ALLEG

But if you see somebody sportg an outlandish stume, 's not about makg homosexualy look fun to help "turn kids gay" (if Sam's gayns uld survive electroshock torture, then we're pretty sure another kid's straightns n survive a few paras and some sequ boas); 's about showg closeted gay kids that homosexualy isn't tomatilly a lifetime of misery. Fally some mon ground between tolerant homosexuals and tolerant Christians: tolerance!

For more sir perspectiv, check out 5 Reali of Beg Gay a Country Where It's Illegal and 6 Shockg Reali of the Secret 'Troubled Teen Indtry'. How n we effectively pray for our gay fay and iends while keepg rpect, kdns, and love uppermost our efforts?

‘PRAY AWAY’ REVIEW: ATONG FOR AN ANTI-GAY STANCE

Pray First That You Always Defe Others as Children of GodProbably the first and most important nsiratn when we pray for gay iends and fay members is the state of our own hearts. You may be prayg for huge change your gay loved one’s life; for them to abandon their liftyle, perhaps. Ask God to keep your gay loved one healthy physilly and mentally, pray for their growg discernment and wisdom, and for them to grow love for Him—jt as you would pray for anyone else you Bible tells to pray for others, and that pleas the Lord.

Both of the circumstanc take away personal that your gay loved one to ntact wh wise people who affirm their personhood full while offerg biblil tth. Your gay iend or fay member needs to be rpected as a child of God, and sometim is not you, but another, who creat active pathways to real spirual change. God is jtice, and all His sir for our life are for our good; His boundari on our behavr allow te eedom, livg full liv that are pleasg to are several plac the Bible where homosexualy is discsed.

PRAY THE GAY AWAY® THE MIL

We mt also affirm the tth of the Bible wh nfince and obedience to God, not strayg away om Biblil tth prayer, word, or That Homosexual Friends and Fay Rpect Their Christian Loved OnYears ago, a gay iend shared wh me her hop of someday gettg married. I affirmed my fah and what, my unrstandg, disallows—I do not believe gay marriage is somethg God bls—but I honored her dream, too.

I also asked her to rpect my feelgs about gay marriage, and after further nversatn, she did.

We are not tolerant if we do not thk gay marriage is God’s bt, but society today is quick to ame our beliefs this way. Most Christians I know want gay members of society to have every legal benef available—to be allowed to arrange fanc together, make health cisns for one another, and partner on other important life issu.

CAN CATHOLICS “PRAY AWAY THE GAY?”

Rpect for this om the gay muny whout risn or the mon label of “tolerant” is very sence, we are to tst God changg hearts and liv, and our prayers for loved on is a very important part of that. I didn’t have anyone I uld talk to about my dilemma but I did have a dial-up nnectn 1997, the same year AOL lnched Instant a closeted kid the '90s, AIM was like a crawlspace om your home to a gay bar. I was ready to block her when she replied < then there was watchg an episo of Ricki Lake featurg men who claimed to be ex-gay, I searched AOL profil for guys who were part of this gay-turned-straight movement.

In fact, the overwhelmg majory of search rults read "ex-ex-gay" and belonged to men who had qu anizatns that promised a cure.

Sean wasn’t one of was his late 20s, raised the Midwt, and studyg to be a therapist at an Evangelil universy while workg for an undisclosed but proment ex-gay anizatn.

WHAT DO “PRAY THE GAY AWAY” MEAN?

When I had no luck, I applied what ltle I knew about him to 2003, several months after we stopped talkg, ex-gay activist Michael Johnston, a poster boy for the movement and an adviser to Jerry Falwell, had what associat scribed as a “moral fall” and checked to a Christian rehab Kentucky. Ex-gay watchdog groups alleged Johnston threw gay sex parti and knowgly exposed atten to AIDS. I'd tell him about all the moments that led me to the happs I experience he'd let me, I'd share the story of that time I slammed this boy, whose Czech name I uldn't pronounce, agast the wall of a gay bar durg my first kiss.

This was the first gay uple I'd ever seen on TV and was that moment I realized, "Well, sh, I'm gay. I was tght that choosg to be gay was wrong, vile and agast God: "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

I had so eply ternalized the homophobia that my pastor spewed, I was bld that everythg I did was normal and healthy. I sent her a Facebook msage sayg, "I'm gay, " admtg to someone for the first time the thg I uld barely adm to myself.

PRAY THE GAY AWAY

My iend Ryan said that when I left, the other kids gossiped about me, sayg, "Thomas is gay now!

The pastor talked about needg to save the sancty of marriage at all sts, advotg agast supportg gay marriage. This was siar to the stance outled earlier Mike Pence's 2000 ngrsnal mpaign webse, advotg that:"Congrs should oppose any effort to put gay and lbian relatnships on an equal legal stat wh heterosexual marriage...

Oppose any effort to regnize homosexuals as a 'discreet and sular mory' entled to the protectn of anti-discrimatn laws... Several years after my self-imposed exile om the church, their stance on homosexualy was still rigid.

JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU

When my iend Ryan fally me out, he was told, "He uldn't be a Christian if he was gay, " and was asked to, I'm livg New York Cy and gog to school Greenwich Village, the first person my fay to attend llege. I'm enjoyg beg the part of the cy where the gay rights movement started and veloped--where there are more hot men than one young twk n handle.

JAGS' MAXEN IS FIRST MALE AMERIN PRO SPORTS ACH TO E OUT AS GAY

I've seen untls people on the ter who claim to be "ex-gay" and say they were ntrolled by the vil. It's a movement that's born out of a larger culture of homophobia and transphobia that still persists the majory of Christian church today. It wasn't until the suici of his iend, who was also part of the "ex-gay" movement, that he reevaluated everythg.

Interview highlights clu extend web-only answers and have been eded for length and clary: Interview Highlights Thomas on how he joed the "ex-gay" movement and Exod Internatnal I was out of the closet the '80s. They also had a group for the gays, and unrneath all of that olns there was this toxic theology that said that you need to overe homosexualy. Stolakis on what the ex-gay and nversn therapy movement looks like today Conversn therapy and the ex-LGBTQ movement has always been practiced lolly.

KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

It's bee very lennial-driven bee there are younger people who've grown up homophobic and transphobic environments who are ready and willg to take the place of people like Randy. Sean Cormie said that everythg about the Sunday service was gog fe, right up to the moment the pastor began preachg about the s of 23-year-old gay man said he was there Sept.

He paced around the room and said there was someone the church at that moment who was guilty of homosexualy, an “abomatn of a s, ” acrdg to ’s when the pastor poted straight at Cormie and Gardner, Cormie said the Facebook post he wrote about the cint, and members of the ngregatn stood up and circled around them, “prayg the spir of homosexualy out of , ” Cormie the uple rose to leave, he said, Cormie’s grandmother phed Gardner, who then got up and ran out of the church.